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Saturday, July 19, 2008

The Doctor is IN:

Dear Doctor Jeff:

I am writing a romantic comedy about a woman in her thirties who is obsessed with getting married and having children. I think I understand why women sometimes do this (I’m a guy) but I was wondering if you have any thoughts about this so that I can really nail what my character’s motivation and flaw is. In other words, why do some women consider that a benchmark? What is behind a strong emotional need to be a mother and how can I better understand it as a man?
-Piqued in Poughkeepsie

Dear Piqued,

Great question, man-to-man. I think it’s difficult for women re: the questions of motherhood and marriage to separate what’s instinctual (inborn) from what’s ingrained (societally imposed.) That, in fact, might be the flaw… your heroine’s struggle to untangle who she really is from who she’s supposed to be. (It’s also the human dilemma to shake off the trance and separate who we really are, from who we’ve been trained, raised, manipulated to be… then, to live it!)

A thought: If the heroine had a best friend, a lesbian for instance, (someone who lives outside the traditional definitions of marriage and motherhood) her friend might provide the heroine with the shake up/wake up she needs to make a conscious decision from the one she's been subliminally taught to be.

Be well,
Doctor Jeff

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Anonymous said...

Hey Doc...

Most women want children, it makes them complete.

Those that don't are okay too.

But that would make a nice and interesting and educational screenplay.

Anonymous said...

If I may add my two cents:

I'm a 40-something woman who knew at the age of 8 that I never wanted kids. Was the oldest of a giant brood, babysat since I was a preteen, took care of kids alot - and just knew that motherhood was not for me. Ever.

That being said - sometimes after great sex with my man (who also never wanted kids), I have an incredible desire to have his babies. Like in - "Let's untie these tubes NOW!" Thankfully, it passes by that first cup o' joe.

But keep in mind - biology is HUGE dudes.