The Mini-W Reviews: HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE

There have been few fantasy phenomena as big as the Harry Potter series. As wildly popular books, drawing a big box office profit out of a film adaptation is easy. But do the films live up to their literary twins? HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE, the sixth of the Harry Potter film adaptations, does not. However, it possesses (because of budget) many great components to create a good looking and entertaining film.

Directed by David Yates (who also directed the previous film, HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX), the film may not be the best from an Academy point of view, but as a blockbuster, it sure as heck keeps your attention. And let's face it - what do the audiences want? They want to be entertained. Yates accomplishes this mission, and more with an action packed, romance charged flick that gives your average American exactly what they paid for: two-and-a-half hours of a good time.

As a movie lover, however, we must look past what the average Joe wants. What’s interesting about the Harry Potter films is that, at first, with original director Chris Columbus, the films took an intriguing yet light tone. They worked for not only adults but children, too. But as the films progressed, director Alfonso Cuaron (THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN), set a new, darker tone. Suddenly the films became weirder, more disturbing, the images more cryptic, and they began to frighten children, who, mind you, are half the audience. THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE is definitely an attempt (at some producer’s request because his daughter got scared) to draw the films back into a family range. Yates, however, was not too successful with this task. In fact, my nine-year-old cousin, with whom I saw the film, was terrified of the movie's images. He clung to my arm during much of the film.

Now another huge drawback to this newest installment is how incredibly hard to follow it is. I have seen all the Harry Potter films at least once, yet the twisted plot providing no guidance as to what was happening baffled me. And then I thought, what if I had seen none of the films? I’d be so completely lost I probably wouldn’t even know which characters were which. And so another fault of Yates’ prevails. Confusion.

Overall, HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE is worth the ticket if you, like me, are at all interested in the cinematography, or eye candy. However, a more intense Potter fan (perhaps one who has read the books), may be disappointed. Do not watch this film expecting greatness, and you’ll love it.

I give it 3 out of 5 jellybeans.

*A lifelong fan of the cinema (her favorite film at age five was SUNSET BOULEVARD), the Mini-W is soon to turn 16. She just completed a digital filmmaking summer camp at UCLA and is the proud cinematographer of a four-minute short. When not tending to her pet tortoise or her numerous studies, the Mini-W is an avid fan of The Rouge Wave and all things effing entertaining.

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Twilight

Curious about all the hulaballoo, the Mini-W and I watched TWILIGHT yesterday evening. We had hoped that the movie would be a kind of girl-power paean, what with the fact that it was written by a woman, directed by a woman and had a female lead. Sure, sure, the thing with the vampires, but this cultural phenomenon - which drew huge crowds of female tweens - was clearly having an impact and we wanted to find out what great female-empowerment messages were embedded in the material.

We were sorely disappointed. The movie is like a romance novel for teens and not much more than that. The smoldering, brooding stares from across the cafeteria, delivered with aplomb by actor Robert Pattinson (lead romantic vampire Edward Cullen) were just - embarrassing. His heavy lidded I-can't-live-without-you-but-I-kind-of-want-to-kill-you-and-it-hurts-so-good gazes are the kind of thing couples do when they are joking. Usually someone winds up with a pillow thrown at them. But no, millions of 12-year-old girls are imprinting this cinematic experience upon their collective ideas and ideals of romance. Cullen says to our lead character, the realistically named Bella Swan, after knowing her for as far as we could tell, two weeks: You are my LIFE. I can haz restraining order pleze?

And you know, this is what bothered the Mini-W and me more than the SUPER cheesy fx (the running through the forest scene is hilarious: blurry legs beneath a smoothly gliding torso), the lame romance novel story beats, the super cheerful vampire family who plays baseball together and the overall toxic level of melodrama complete with slo-mo entrances through fog - yeah all that stuff bugged us but in a fun way in which we laughed really really hard - what left us with a bad taste in our mouths was the way the main vampire dude, Edward, is clearly a freaky obsessive when it comes to his love interest, Bella. And his words and actions are lit in the soft, golden glow of true love. A guy who said or did anything similar to the Mini-W would find himself slapped with a restraining order post haste. But seen through the eyes of Bella and delivered to the minds of millions of tweens, this is what romance is like:

Stuff Edward says to Bella:
You are my LIFE!
I like to watch you sleep.
I can't trust myself around you.
I'm a vegetarian; we only drink animal blood.

Is it just us or does this sound like FATAL ATTRACTION for tweens? Only - it's NOT a cautionary tale, it's romantic. No, young, formative tween - obsession is not weird, it's romantic. When he watches you sleep and climbs through your window unannounced, when he claims he can't live without you after having known you for 12 days, that's epic love that cannot be denied! It's totally cool, man. It means you are the center of his universe! And, when a guy is brooding, hurt and tortured inside, you can cure him! Love is the answer! Bad boys are good for you.

Wha-??

Seen through the prism of feminism - no, scratch that - seen through the prism of modeling for young girls what self-esteem and healthy bonding is made of - this movie is not only a disaster, it's frightening. No girl power here, just messages of how being the center of someone's universe to the point where they like to watch you sleep is validating of your gender role.

Of course the movie also has a ton of vampire desire as (barely) sublimated sexual desire, which is as old as the vampire story itself...so I get that. But this is aimed at 12-year-old girls. Who do have a burgeoning sexual and romantic self. But to cast that in the light of obsessive need and validation through being some kind of gauzy, feminine balm for a clearly effed up guy - man, those are not messages I'd want my daughter to soak in. Sure it's all cloaked in abstinence, nobody ever does it in Twilight (yeah, because 17-year-olds don't just go out to the shed and do it) but the lack of sex does not make up for the powerful, archaic, damaging message that being the object - yes OBJECT - of the attention of a messed up bad boy is a good thing because messed up bad boys are sexy and they want you. And being wanted by a boy - that's what tells you you're good enough. See?

Is this how far we've come, baby? Really?

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The Flight of the Conchords

So have any Wavers watched HBO's FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS? What a strange, delightful, weird show. When I watched the very first episode of the very first season, after having heard friends rave about the show, I must admit I was flummoxed. It was funny - I guess. In a very awkward way. I mean, New Zealand accents are actually a little hard to understand and I didn't quite get the tone of the show. By the second episode, I was hooked. And the more I watched, the more I got hooked. Those Kiwis are addictive.

For those of you who know nothing about the F of the Cs, it's an HBO series that airs Sunday evenings at 10pm and is about to wrap up its second season. It's about a New Zealand folk music duo - Brett and Jemaine - who have moved to New York and are trying to book gigs through their dedicated but totally inept manager, Murray. They have one fan - stalker Mel - a hilarious, hilarious actor, and live in a crappy apartment. They are an odd brand of man/boy - they are quite naive and trusting but also clearly dim. It's the details of the show that crack me up. The posters touting New Zealand in the background at the consulate: New Zealand - Don't expect much. You'll love it! And of course, the music - the show is interspersed with songs by Brett and Jemaine and the lyrics are ridiculous. Not to mention the music. But Brett and Jemaine take themselves and their music quite seriously. Rhys Darby, who plays Murray, is for me the best part. He insists upon band meetings in which roll call is necessary. Brett: yes. Jemaine: yes. Murray: present. His devotion to the band is nothing short of delusional - and yet it is heartwarming.

Like SEINFELD, it's a show about not much. Brett and Jemaine face difficulties like getting mugged, needing new fans, going on a warm-up tour. Most of their gigs take place at libraries, aquariums and empty bars. They are unaware of the absolute lack of actual progress as a band. The episode in which a fruit vendor is racist because he thinks they're Aussies is my favorite. The constant poking fun at New Zealand is priceless. New Zealand! Rocks!

The attention to detail and backstory is great. Their one fan Mel is married to a man who plays solitaire in the basement and drives her to Conchords gigs. When Brett is in the bathroom at Mel's house, she pokes her head in the door to "check" on him and to her right, there is a picture on the wall - such a small detail - of a sketched nude male with both Brett's and Jemaine's heads cut from a picture and glued onto its head. Mel, by the way, is a junior professor of psychology. And, yes, a stalker. The New Zealand Consulate, where Murray works as an attache, is housed in the same building as businesses like All Asian Massage and a meat distributor.

If you haven't seen the show, rent or buy the first season. It's a cult favorite and it's highly entertaining once you become accustomed to the particularity of the world. The artful construct of that world, from a writing standpoint, is the strength of the show. Totally character driven, it highlights the ridiculous music and the naivete of the band. It's a fish out of water construct - but what fish.

World. Particularity. Irony. Details. FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS is a show that aspiring writers should watch at least once. Because this, Wavers, is how it's done.

To learn more about Brett, Jemaine and their journey as comedians and performers, click HERE.

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The Mini-W Reviews: Friday the 13th

Going into the new FRIDAY THE 13TH remake, starring Jared Padalecki (from SUPERNATURAL and before that, GILMORE GIRLS) and Amanda Righetti, I prepared myself for the worst. I expected a Rob Zombie-esque let down, like the recent HALLOWEEN remake. Much to my surprise, I was wrong.

It was the perfect mix of sticking to the original story and modifying the fear effect. There was plenty accuracy for us fanatics out there, yet it was considerably scarier to see the new Jason Voorhees. For you readers out there who aren’t quite familiar with the series, Jason Voorhees was a boy who drowned in a lake at camp when his counselors weren’t paying attention. Since then, his mother has encouraged him to seek vengeance on any teens who dare to tread upon the grounds of the infamous Camp Crystal Lake. (My mom worked on a project with the Jason from the third movie and said he was "eccentric" - whatever that means; I'm jealous I didn't meet him). But anyway, donning a hockey mask to hide his deformed face, Jason becomes a killing machine with amazing strength. Although he has been killed many times, Jason never dies. He always comes back. This modern rendition of FRIDAY THE 13TH is truly a good horror movie. For anyone who likes horror even just a little, this is a must-see. Although be warned, it is, like all the other films in the series, quite graphic and violent (but still totally worth seeing).

I would give this film a 5 out of 5 jelly beans.

The Mini-W is a 15 year-old high school sophomore who has probably seen more horror movies than you have. When not reviewing movies for The Rouge Wave, she enjoys Facebook, playing with her dogs and dreaming about the day she never has homework again. She would like to give a special shout-out to Tony in Santa Monica today, and knows that she'll be better soon.

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Movie-palooza

As the Mini-W and I are wont to do whenever we have one to two weeks of holiday time, we again went to Hollywood Video and swiped whole shelves of movies at random and watched them all in an orgy of movie gluttony. If you're a long time Rouge Waver, you know that we are totally omnivorous. We'll see anything. Generally, we try to stay away from the New Releases because we've already seen many of them and if we haven't, there's plenty of time. We go for the stuff on the second shelf from the bottom in the quiet sections and we go for the Movies We Should Have Seen. So here's what we've seen so far (oh, we still have a few days left. Just watch us.):

HAMLET2: Other than a couple of pretty hilarious moments, not as funny as we thought it would be. We really, really wanted to love this movie. One particular line of dialogue that is totally horrible and inappropriate is very, very funny and if you've seen this movie, you know what I mean and you laughed too. Rock Me Sexy Jesus is funny but we just sort of ran out of gas on this movie.

SABRETOOTH*: Total B-movie HILARITY. A highly recommended rip off of Jurassic Park (Primal Park: Genetic Engineering at a Reasonable Price). Sample dialogue: "We've done tests. The cats are bulimic."

*Yeah, I spelled that the way they did. British affectation or bad spelling? We don't know.

BLUE DEMONS: B-Movie but with an ironic wink, therefore not as hilarious. Genetically altered sharks chase down - wait for it - nuclear weapons at sea. Electronic readings of red dot groupings of sharks moving up coast - hilarious. Not as funny as SHARK SWARM.

FEAR: Mark Wahlberg stalks Reese Witherspoon in this 1996 thriller set in Seattle. Good but not particularly memorable. As far as crazy-teen-stalker movies, we preferred SWIM FAN.

RESIDENT EVIL: We LOVED it but have been warned again the sequels. Milla Jovovich receives four out of five bad ass points for amazing martial arts moves in a red cocktail dress. Scientific explanation for zombies was buyable, creepy child-hologram of the Red Queen was very cool.

CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS: One of the most engrossing, compelling, disturbing documentaries we've ever seen. Highly recommended. Will provoke an interesting conversation and some depression later.

STEPBROTHERS: Brothers were clearly functionally retarded not charming or funny man-boys. Impossible to relate to or root for main characters and their parents were remiss not to put both "men" on the short bus on the way to special class rather than force them to live on their own. This gap in logic perplexed and annoyed us. P.S.: Dear Judd Apatow and ancillary crew - man-boys are neither charming nor funny. Please stop making movies.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT: As mentioned on an earlier post - we LOVED this clever horror gem.

SHIVER: Spanish-language horror film brought to us by the producers of THE ORPHANAGE (which we loved). Great production values, some scary moments but overall, not super memorable. Clever twist that we didn't see coming but it's delivered pretty early.

DEEP SHOCK: B-Movie carnage with some hilarity. The monster turns out to be giant sea eels that look like something from THE NEVER ENDING STORY - thing is, these eels can read your mind and also email you. You think I'm kidding.

MULBERRY ST.: An offering from the Eight Films to Die For annual film festival. Good production values, effects and acting. Surprisingly good zombie flick.

RUN FAT BOY RUN: A stylized romcom starring Simon Pegg (who we LOVE) and directed by David Schwimmer. We liked this very much. We were surprised and slightly uncomfortable to note that Hank Azaria is RIPPED.

FIRST BLOOD: This first installment of the Rambo series seemed dated and... didn't work for us. The thing tied on Rambo's head was super goofy looking. Heartfelt soliloquy at end of movie was pretty amazing but it was too little too late. Oft imitated since, possibly seminal at the time, this movie felt thoroughly dated.*

*Note to self: Should probably watch seminal movies when they are released, not 26 years later.

EQUILIBRIUM: This sci-fi movie depicts a dystopian future in which having emotions is illegal. Starring Christian Bale and Emma Watson, this movie should have been great but - wasn't. Great action sequences although weird gun-ballet-martial-arts thing was unintentionally funny.

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