Don't Take That Tone With Me

What is the tone of your script? Well, clearly the tone should reflect the genre, right? Yes, of course it should. And if it doesn't, your script is in trouble and so is the rating it will receive on a coverage report. Tone is one of what I call the "off-grid" ratings when you receive coverage. Remember, the usual rating grid that accompanies a coverage includes:

Premise
Storyline
Character
Dialogue

Those are the big four. Now, to recap, premise refers to the IDEA, the basic jumping off point. Is it clear, does it pay off, is it original? Storyline refers to the narrative (and obliquely, the structure). In other words, HOW was the story told? How was the pacing and the style of the narrative itself? Character and dialogue are self-explanatory although a mystery to me is why the two are split up as separate categories. I have never seen good character work accompany bad dialogue or vice versa. I don't make the rules, guys, I just observe them.

Off-grid categories are screenwriting elements that don't appear on the grid but that are being judged in the coverage anyway: Tone, Theme, World, Logic, Stakes.

So we return to tone. Inconsistent tone might result in a romping romcom which includes some kind of climatic bar fight between the two rivals which suddenly reads like a scene from UNDER SIEGE. A tense horror script can have a playful love scene straight out of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. A sci-fi script might suddenly have a sequence with the weighty dramaturgic leanings of TWELVE ANGRY MEN. And that can be cool, man. That can be really taking your script to the next level. If you pull it off. But pulling it off means that scene or sequence needs to have something in common with the tone of the rest of the script.

You need to make sure that the tone in your script - the tone you set on page one - is consistent through-out. Sometimes writers like to go full bore (not to be confused with full retard) and impress a reader with a NASTY fight scene - and hey, hats off - except this is a romantic comedy. Or - oh, oh, this is not uncommon - a graphic sex scene in the middle of a romcom. The couple is falling into bed together and suddenly things get a bit hardcore. And it's like a record needle goes scccrriiitch!

A reader can tell when there're problems with the tone when they suddenly realize they aren't sure how they are supposed to be feeling. That realization could happen on page five, it could happen on page 62. But it happens. Confusion sets in. I know that sounds almost too casual a reflection to point to and yet - it is the best way I can articulate the gut feeling a reader gets when the tone is a problem. Is this - funny? Is this - scary? Should I be laughing here? I'm not sure. Houston - we have a problem.

How do you make sure the tone of your script is consistent? Make sure you are nailing the expectations of your genre, first of all, in terms of structure, character work and theme. Then pay attention to the language you use.

We know that language is a many splendored thing. I can say "where have you been" in about 10 ways and each would convey a different emotion and intensity. How many of you have written an email to someone (or god forbid, a letter!) and labored over each word, deleting, rewriting and carefully guiding what you are trying to say so that the missive is received in the way you want it to be received? An example I think we can all relate to is an email or text message to someone we like - but to whom we don't want to give that away. Is the message too familiar? Too funny? Does it sound needy? We work and rework the message until it sounds inviting but neutral, playful but non-committal. You know you've done it. It is important that the message be received with a clear intentionality.

And so it goes with screenwriting. If you are writing a Western, you want to make sure the script conveys a sense of adventure, opportunity and lawlessness or maybe bleak existential survival. Clearly, your romcom is going to convey a sense of fun, laughter and romance. Make sure that if you're writing an action-thriller that the tone is, well, actiony and thrillery. Horror should convey tension and fear. Which doesn't mean you can't have a light-hearted or funny moment in your horror script - but make sure that sequence doesn't read like it came from a totally different script. The words you choose to use are a huge part of the tone you are establishing. And the pacing of the action will be a huge part of that tone as well.

Think about the way you want the reader (or later, viewer) to FEEL while reading your script. Think of the words you choose to use - EVERY word - the dialogue, the names of your characters, the names of the locations, the WAY the sun rises in a scene - as powerful tools to evoke a feeling in your script.

This is the first paragraph after the first slugline in the thriller that my partner, JP Smith and I wrote, the one that I have lately referred to here on TRW:

The western horizon is bruised and purple, punctuated by distant lightning. Rain is coming. The last hint of sun fades into darkness as cars swish by the tall pines and thick brush along the interstate...

Sound kinda ominous? It should. If this were the opening for a romcom, even if the sun were setting I promise the word "bruised" would be nowhere near this description. Or "distant lightning" or "fades into darkness." We are using these scant 35 words to set the tone of the script to follow. The lake in our script is "dark and rippling." The house is quiet. The neighbors are SUPER cheerful. All in service of a creepy tone which is like the yellow brick road leading the reader into an inescapably tense story.

So make sure to use language in the service of the TONE you are conveying. And make sure that all scenes and sequences are consistent with that established tone as well. I am sure you are quite capable of writing an explicit sex scene, super violent fight or very serious and dramatic scene - but does that scene belong in THIS script? Don't get dinged for blowing the consistency of your tone.

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Coverage Language

Hello, Wavers, I am re-purposing an older post (way older, like almost two years old) about the language used in coverages. There are reasons for reposting this today to which you are not privy, but suffice to say that sometimes it's easier to just say to someone: read The Rouge Wave today.

***

Readers write coverages in a strange, pseudo industry speak that sometimes sounds purposefully vague. That’s because it is. We are covering our asses. Incidentally, the biggest ass cover a reader can hide behind is “consider with reservation” which means – Um, I dunno. Not bad but not great and oh geez, the pressure!

Remember, it is considered bad form for a reader to really trash your script. We have to be polite. There are potential minefields a reader must step around. Most notably, the writer could be the executive’s wife, friend or second cousin. I have had this experience. I didn’t trash the script (see bad form, above) but I nor did I mince words. I returned the script to the executive. This should have clued me in because we usually just throw the script away. Sitting in his office was his wife. Oh! This is the reader who covered your script, honey! I turned, oh what is the expression? – a whiter shade of pale. I felt so ambushed. Why didn’t he tell me?? Because the exec wanted an honest coverage. Had I been in a stupid or cranky mood and not been aware of the Readers Do No Harm oath, I would have been fired for having written a slightly snarling coverage – the script was that bad.

It sometimes feels as if we readers say the same things over and over and over. Because we do. Though the permutations of stories can be almost infinite, the problems within them are actually relatively finite. And so we use a proscribed vocabulary to lightly but firmly tell an exec just why this script is a “pass.” The words we use are written in a polite code. A code which you may also recognize, in a couple of instances, from bank loan officers or doctors...

Here is a key to what a reader says and what a reader really means in a “pass” coverage.

Unfortunately...
You’re sunk.

However...
You’re flailing.

Soft premise
Boring script.

Two-dimensional characters
The characters sucked.

Thin character work
The characters sucked.

Unfortunately, soft or missing stakes...
Script was boring; nothing fueled the journey.

However, the linear narrative...
I fell asleep during the read and woke up with a notepad stuck to my face.

Unfortunately, action lines need work
Holy crap, how did this writer get the script here? Seriously we need a better filtering system.

Faulty logic was hard to follow...
Okay I know I’m tired but I had my Wheaties and the script didn’t freaking make sense!

Poor structure
Three cups of coffee and I see no freaking plot points. I am having reader rage!

Now, you will never see your own coverage, that’s the rub. The exec will simply read the first paragraph summary to your agent over the phone. And your agent will say to you simply: It wasn’t for them. Or maybe something like, they thought the ending was too predictable.

This is why, if you can, it is a great experience to get a coverage of your script from a consultant or script reading service – just to check out what would be said about your script in Reader-ese. Yes, readers are subjective but until the Reader 5000 is fully developed by scientists working round the clock, you’re stuck with us.

Let me once more dispel the subjectivity fear (or rationale as the case may be) that writers assign to the coverage process. We do this every day. We have nothing against you, in fact we get really excited when your script is fantastic because you make our day. We learn very quickly to set aside our personal likes and dislikes, roll up our sleeves and examine your script from a mechanical perspective. We will not trash you – even if we really hate your script. It will only get us fired or otherwise in the hot seat. We always start off by trying to say one good thing. It might be “A script with a very inventive take on an amphibian democracy on Pluto unfortunately has some issues with character, structure, premise and logic.” Note the “inventive take.” Sometimes that’s all we can pull out of the hat. I have at times stared at my blank computer screen trying heroically to come up with that one good thing.

We don’t want to write our coverages in non-committal Reader-ese, but we are trained to and in the end it does facilitate our jobs. The key above is chiefly meant to entertain but ironically, my definitions are pretty accurate.

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How Good Are Free Notes?

An unnamed Waver sent me an email this morning - she was upset. Someone on a message board offered to give her notes, and within the notes, this selfless person rewrote some of the dialogue. The Waver was really upset by this - naturally - and wondered if that's kosher or if maybe she needs thicker skin. Now in the interest of full disclosure, I have read that particular script and while like any script, it has room for improvement, dialogue is not one of those areas. She writes great dialogue and has had a lot of positive things come from that script.

Getting notes for free (or cheap) from message board types can be heaven and it can be hell. Some who offer free notes really are quite good at it - and others - well, they aren't very experienced. This is what bad note givers do (and yes, this has happened to me, a million years ago):

Bad note givers are totally SUBJECTIVE. They give their opinion based on what they like and how they would write this story. But it's not their story. They make overt suggestions ala what THEY would do if the story were theirs. Sometimes they'll change or suggest dialogue to the way they would like to see it written. Cardinal no-no.

Bad note givers have an unearned sense that they KNOW what is good and what is bad. And usually this vibe comes across in the notes. Ergo, bad note givers put the writer on the defensive.

Because some free note giver on a message board offers to give you notes doesn't mean that they'll be bad - or good. The stumbling block is that you'll be on the defensive very quickly because the free note giver has very little experience doing this. So the jumping off point is dysfunctional; they aren't experienced, so they have no authority in your view, and you'll get defensive and they might be too subjective...and the whole experience can be a mess.

Free notes are hit or miss. The problem is that if they are a miss, the writer is left with a feeling of having been judged by someone not qualified to judge them...and even if there were salient points, they will not hear those points. It's like I said about the spoonful of sugar.

Giving good notes is like being a therapist - oh, sure, the therapist sits there in their cashmere scarf sipping tea, all curled up in their chair and they seem very ordinary - they don't discuss your issues with you from a technical standpoint - they get you comfortable but while you're talking, they're running your issues through their Psychology Degree Learning Background and searching for and addressing issues that have distinct jumping off points from an academic point of view. But when they talk to you, they put it in such a way that makes you feel comfortable. Something good is happening in this interaction but it's beneath the surface. If they asked you questions more directly, you'd shut down and now the session is useless. It's about how to get people to open up and hear you.

Free (and bad) note givers don't have enough experience working with writers to use this methodology. They may (or may not) have some good points to make on the script but they don't know how to deliver that information in such a way that the writer feels empowered. And though they'd never admit it in a million years, they get ego-gratification about pointing out what's wrong with your script because somewhere deep inside there's a little voice saying I could do this better than you.

A professional reader doesn't have that voice because they just don't care enough. They don't know you, they have nothing invested in who's a better writer. It's a job. On a message board, there's sometimes a weird, gossipy thing that goes on where someone offers to give you notes, and then they can sort of say on the board, in hushed tones - Oh, I read that script - it really isn't that great. It's one-upmanship. Professional readers aren't into that. They aren't going to go to CURLYGIRL3 and say Hey, did you know that FOXYCHICK isn't a very good writer? Did you know that? She posts so much about her accomplishments but she's really not that great!

A lot of writers can fall into one-upmanship. It happens. A writer is getting traction on a script and suddenly everyone wants to read it. Know why this happens? Not because they are truly curious as to what makes a script gain traction but because they secretly want to say - Oh. It's not really that great. I have NO idea why that script is at William Morris. Hmmph.

That's happened to me recently. The script my partner and I have being packaged at WMA or ICM (whoever bites first; we should know early next week) so it can go to DreamWorks with a producer attached has already engendered several minor acquaintances asking to see it. We've had this script going for awhile now and nobody was interested before. Now they are. Color me cynical (which is not my usual color) but there's a negative subtext there. Now, naturally, when a script is on the launching pad, I would never send it to anyone, especially on the interwebs. If that script got passed around and read and forwarded - it could kill the project. Which would add to the 9,000 other reasons the script could get killed anyway. So why should I risk that right now? But the larger question is - why do people want to read it? To comfort themselves. It's really not THAT great. I could do a better job. Why is THIS script in the position it's in? Because this is bullshit and I could do better. Lovely sentiments, all.

But I've been guilty of it myself - you hear about a script sale and you think - Huh, I read that and I wasn't very impressed. No matter how nice you normally are, a little green devil climbs out of your pocket and begins to whisper in your ear - This isn't fair. I'm a better writer than that person!

But you know what - there's no rhyme or reason to what sells. There really isn't. I'll be the first to say that while I'm proud of our thriller, it's not brilliance. It's just good. It works, it's well written but it's hardly IN BRUGES. I'm realistic about the script, I'm no puffed shirt. It's a good idea, executed well, with a modest budget and some good roles. If that sells, I'll be a happy girl. If it falls flat, I'm no worse for the wear. No existential spirals for me. You just keep doing what you do.

To get back on topic, free notes can be a nice thing to receive but please, please consider the source. And if you OFFER to give free notes, ask yourself this - what is your agenda? Can you set aside your ego and just be honest? Are you really qualified to do this? I mean, sometimes a person will say hey, I just want your knee-jerk opinion. Did you laugh? Did you like it? Well, just about anybody is qualified to do that and that's a nice thing. But do check in with your motivation on giving or receiving free notes. If you are getting the notes, are you secretly looking for praise or respect? If you are giving them are you secretly hoping to establish that YOU are the better writer?

That's why I advocate just paying someone. Look, doesn't have to be MY company which is the best in the business (you knew I was going to say that, I couldn't disappoint!) but if you pay someone, then it's a business transaction and unless you get someone horrible (and there are services to avoid) you should get a straight up evaluation and skip the Ego Rumble.

Signs that your super cool free read was a very bad idea:

You feel defensive and upset.
The notes contain snarky comments and put-downs.
The person who offered is a blowhard on your local message board.
The notes are specific, not global and the reader offered advice that you dislike.
The person uses the word "I" a lot. (I liked this. I didn't like that. I would do this. I wouldn't do that.)
The person actually rewrote or suggested dialogue.
The person made plot suggestions that do not fit and spin the script in a totally new direction.

So (non) buyer beware. Free notes are a blessing and a curse. You need to vet who's offering. And you need to check in with yourself - can you set your ego aside? Can you take what makes sense and dump the rest? Do you respect this person? Do they know a lot about screenwriting or do they just claim to give totally honest feedback? I will be totally honest with you is often a code for: I'll rake you over the coals to make myself feel better. Believe it. I've been on the receiving end of that and I do think that experience in some ways led me to my current philosophy that giving notes must be done in such a way that it is respectful and palatable. Because if I'm going to take the time to read your script I want you to get something out of it. Not me. You.

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What Defines "good" Notes?

Morning, Wavers. I was going to write about good loglines today but I'm feeling lazy and busy. Busy and lazy. And overwhelmed. But the show must go on! So for today, here is an excerpt from an upcoming interview of moi in an undisclosed publication that I thought would make a convenient cut-n-paste and an informative, edu-taining read. We'll talk about loglines later. Suffice to say that mama has not been well pleased with the loglines submitted so far. We are missing conflict, we are not being pithy, we are sending stuff missing the key words. But. We shall revisit that anon. For now:

What makes for “good notes” from a reader?

Well, from where I sit, as the employer of many readers and a reader in the past myself, I would say that the notes need to be objective, respectful, instructive and well organized. Good notes from a company such as The Script Department are presented in such a way that the writer not only feels encouraged and validated in those areas that did work, but motivated and instructed about where to do better. I like my clients to come away with a plan of action and the energy and inspiration to attack improving the script, rather than feeling downhearted and directionless.

Bad notes are vague, snarky, verbose, disorganized and ultimately disrespectful of the writer. A good reader HAS to respect what the writer was trying to do. Nobody sets out to write a bad script. Nobody. Doesn't happen.

Now: there’s a very important distinction to be made here. Readers who work for production companies provide coverage that the writer will never see. The report is not for the writer, it is for the production company. So these notes will be quite a bit harsher and pretty unforgiving. Well, totally unforgiving. Readers who provide notes for a company such as mine are working for the writer. And the writer is going to see those notes and use them as a guide for improvement. That’s quite a different kettle of fish. Coverage versus Notes: Coverage is a brutal assessment. Notes are an instructive assessment.

When it comes to readers who work for The Script Department, I have one, overarching philosophy that my readers are aware of: I don’t care where a writer is on the curve, they worked hard on the script and deserve to be treated with respect because anyone who creates something where there was nothing and then asks for feedback is pretty okay in my book.

Readers who come to my company after having read for a production company have to take a moment to adjust to a new atmosphere; kind honesty and shrewd observations instead of brutal honesty and shrewd observations. Having made the transition myself, I know it is quite an adjustment. Believe me, it's much, much easier to do notes for a production company. You just crank them out and the writer's feelings are inconsequential. To produce notes that instruct and motivate takes more thought and time.

Good notes that YOU the writer will actually see and read should leave you feeling inspired to do better, not crying in your soup. Even when we have to give you bad news, it should be given in such a way that you want to rise to a challenge, not jump off a bridge. What I try to do is to provide notes to my clients that will result in a great coverage from a production company down the line. So we're honest, alright, but we want the result to be a better script. And you know what I always say -a spoonful of sugar and all that. Beating a writer up never encourages anything positive.

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New Speak: It's JUST for Texting!

So how many Rouge Wavers text their family and friends? I do it a lot now. Texting has become part of my life. I was never one of those self-described Luddites. I can upload, download and update many things. Nevertheless, texting as far as I was concerned initially was a sort of last ditch thing for confirmation, etc., but now I text friends and colleagues about any number of things. When I first started texting I would text something like this: Hey, my flight is late. See you at the gate. I'm wearing a red coat which took me 3 minutes to text and gets a reply like: C U thr. So now I am down with the texting lingo: U R cmg @ 8? It was a brief learning curve but I can now text with the best of 'em.

As a sidenote, I'm fairly certain my Blackberry's "smart type" has some kind of content editor because no, I am not texting the work "duck" or "ducking" - ever.

Texting and IMing using a truncated new speak is not new. We're all familiar with brb, lol, omg, cya, kk and my funny newest - zomg! But one pitfall of new speak, whether it's in texting, IM or message boards is that we become lazy. It's fine to say "your gng 2 B lte!" - the operative word there being "your" instead of "you're". I have noticed that spelling in scripts I read has gotten worse and worse. And this is the truly horrible part - I have to catch myself more and more too.

Not that you're going to catch me writing: 2 B or nt 2 B anytime soon in a script or anywhere else, but it is a challenge when your brain shifts back and forth from proper spelling to new speak. Proper spelling and grammar is slowly eroding. On the one hand, that is the way of things. We no longer speak the way Shakespeare wrote - iffin that was the way Joe Average spoke at that time, or anywhere close. We no longer speak the way we did in the 1950s for that matter: Say, you are looking very nice today, Jody! Today that would be: Girl, you're hot!

Language is an organic thing and we have plenty of evidence to prove that. But make sure that you do check yourself when working on scripts or anything else that will be publicly consumed. Watch your "your" versus "you're," "to" versus "too" and duck versus...well - you get my point.

The hilarious thing is that your script will be read by people who are probably texting while reading it: Ths scrpt kicks ass! brb! Mtng! - but they'll still slam you if your script has spelling errors or language usage problems. Because the way we speak in some mediums is not the way we speak in others. Scripts are still expected to be written properly. I am not referring to the fact that you may have a character who uses slang, but particularly in your action lines - get it right.

So even if you are a texting aficionado, but sure to flip that switch when you write. It matters. No j/k.

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Interpreting GOOD Notes

Rouge Waver Luzid left a very relevant and interesting comment that I thought would be best addressed here:

Julie,

Something else for us to consider when receiving notes is what to make of *good* coverage. Knowing that a little padding goes into critiques to protect writers from taking too much critical flak, how does it work in cases where the coverage is favorable?

Actually, in prodco coverage, no padding is added for the writer. Ever. In my earlier post, I am primarily referring to coverage or notes that writers have paid for. Notes aimed at them, specifically. In my class, I advocate that all readers use care and respect toward the writer - whether the writer sees the notes or not. It's about intentionality and ethics.

When two or more readers (independent of each other) say things like "overall the visuals were stunning with poetic language," "very compelling premise" or "the script could attract name talent due to its overall ingenuity," what does one take away from it?

As writers, we all want to know others are responding to our work. But we also know to be careful not to just hear what we want to hear. What's the best way to analyze positive coverage to avoid getting the wrong idea?

***

You should feel GREAT if you get comments like that. Really great. For about 10 minutes. Then take about 25% off of that great comment and chalk it up to subjectivity and smoke blowing. That's really the best advice I can give you. If you get good feedback there's only one way to view that - as terrific, subjective and slightly inflated. But it's still very, very good overall. If I could tell you the number of times I have gotten AMAZING notes from people who later dropped the ball, walked away or otherwise then back-pedaled, you'd be amazed. Take notes like that as a good sign, be encouraged by it but don't overinflate yourself, your writing or your prospects. Take it in stride and just know that you are doing something very, very right. Then get back to work and keep producing more of what got you that nice note.

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Bad Coverage Sucks

We've all gotten it. Really bad coverage. Bad because the script needed work and it got slammed or bad because the reader was mean-spirited and a bad writer him or herself. The latter is the WORST feeling.

As many Wavers know, I teach a class on how to become a production company reader. A prodco reader is a bit different than a reader for, say, a company such as my own. Production company readers do not need to hand hold but they do need to come from a neutral, professional jumping off point of rating the writer and project based on an almost clinical set of guidelines. You won't see your coverage if it comes from a production company, good or bad. You'll just be told that it was good or bad.

But you might get coverage or notes from a script coverage service such as mine or a competition that gives notes and I know from experience how infuriating it is when the notes are just written badly. Because you have put so much effort into that script - whether it came out good or bad - and when someone appears to just phone in their comments without really making the effort to articulate them with insight, neutrality and half an ounce of respect - well, it makes my blood boil. I won't have it when it comes to my clientele and it makes me mad when I hear about writers getting bad coverage from other services or sources. I guess it's because I've been on the receiving end of that and because I know from experience that it isn't that hard to write great coverage. It's about respect for the writer. I mean - come on.

As I grade the coverage samples that my Reader students generate, I find myself grading them on the accuracy of their statements (because of course, I am intimately familiar with the scripts they are given for homework), their use of "coverage-speak" and their tone in general. Coverage speak is something I talked about on the Rouge Wave a million years ago and is just a sort of soft-pedal couching of statements by using words like "however" or "unfortunately" or "potential."

So rather than saying (and let me preface THIS by saying the following is pretty much the type of coverage that I have seen some readers produce): SQUIRRELS OF DETROIT is unfunny, executed badly and has a cliched premise.

Rather, one could say: SQUIRRELS OF DETROIT has a charming comedic premise with much potential; unfortunately the writer missed opportunities to really execute a unique and engaging narrative.

Both comments sum up that the script sucks. But what a difference in the way they land, right?

It's like that old methodology of not saying to a person "You always do this and you always do that" but rather "I feel this way when you do that sometimes." You know - it's all about the delivery. If you are telling someone something difficult, you want to keep your focus on a good outcome, right? So if you dash off coverage notes that are sloppy and disrespectful, the writer will of course feel TERRIBLE and probably MAD and then not really be receiving this information in such a way that they'll do a better job in their rewrite. I don't care how bad a script is: The writer, by receiving notes, just climbed a rung on the ladder and can now do better for the next go round. But not if they feel bad after having read the notes.

Being a good reader is more than identifying what doesn't work - it's about identifying it in an organized, articulate, neutral way. Slamming the writer is a no fly zone as far as I am concerned. Whether at my company or anywhere else.

Many of my students are taking the Reader Class simply to get an inside view of how scripts are covered so they can be armed with what NOT to do, etc. Which I think is pretty damn smart as a strategy. I wish I had known this stuff when I first began submitting scripts. Oh how I wish I had known.

My readers are pretty damn experienced and good at what they do and they've worked for me long enough to know what coverage makes mama happy. But by teaching this class to new readers, my objective is to raise the bar for readers - to really ask more of them. It's not rocket science to see what's wrong with a script. But it does take a certain skill set to identify problems, seek solutions, organize all of that in an easy to understand way and to give the writer this information in a way that makes them feel empowered and excited about the rewrite - not beaten down and crappy. That, believe it or not, is sometimes a reach for some readers. It's all about giving a damn how the writer will feel when they read our coverage.

As I tell the Mini-W, it's not about studying HARDER at school, it's about caring about the subject and about the work you turn in. And I am proud to say that my readers all come from that jumping off place. I wouldn't hire a reader who felt otherwise.

So this from Week Two of the Reader Course may offer more insight to you writers out there wondering how a production company rates writers and how I instruct new readers to do that from my own experience with production companies. My goal is to instruct as many readers as possible so that slowly, over time, industry readers will begin to take more pride in the importance of their jobs and slow down a bit and be thorough, professional and kind. I am not saying current prodco readers are not those things - but there are a lot of bad apples. And they're rating YOUR scripts. I hope to change the prevailing winds a little bit over time:

RATING THE WRITER
You are rating the writer as much as you are rating the project. Writers receive “pass,” “consider” and “recommend” ratings in the same way that the script does. A writer with a “pass” script can still receive a “consider” rating. A “consider” writer is one who executed the script very well, it’s just that this particular material is not right for the company. A “consider” writer should be considered for rewrite or assignment work down the line. He/she is, simply put, a good writer. A “pass” writer is one who just didn’t pull it off. Clumsy writing, spelling errors, poor structure, thin characters, missing theme – things of this nature. This is a writer whom the production company probably wouldn’t want to tap for assignment work because he/she just isn’t up to snuff as a writer. A “recommend” writer is obviously a stellar writer – again, you can have a “pass” script with a “recommend” writer – that just means this is a great writer but the material is not a fit for the production company.

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10,000 Hours

So my best buddy ever, Keith*, gave me a copy of Malcolm Gladwell's new book Outliers and I have been most fascinated by it. In chapter two, Gladwell discusses the 10,000 hour theorem: that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice and repetition before a person is truly head and shoulders above others doing the same thing. 10,000 hours of computer programming, cooking, writing, skiing - whatever. Gladwell makes a pretty salient and compelling point that practice does indeed make perfect.

*This is a rarefied status subject to change, bribery** and favoritism. Just FYI.

**Cupcakes and tiny dog sweaters. [--Ed.]


I think we all remember the Great Computer Meltdown of '08. That horrible day when my hard drive failed and I hadn't been backing up and - well - I lost a lot of stuff. One of the things I lost was the curriculum I had prepared for the Learn to be a Reader correspondence course. So I had to either pay a bunch of money to get that and other things retrieved from the hard drive or just write it again. So I wrote it again. That added another several hours to my cume.

There are a number of students taking this nifty correspondence course and as I am grading their synopses, comments and logline generating skills and giving them new homework for the following week, I am amazed at how much more there is to being a reader than I had appreciated. In having to write the entire curriculum - and then rewrite it all again a month or two later, I have put quite a number of hours into breaking down and expressing the ins and outs of story analysis. And though I do some type of story analysis just about every day, it really has made me stand back and think - wow, this really is not something just anybody can do and do well. I am struck by how much I have learned about reading and covering scripts, about the methodology, the politics and the presentation. I think I probably have spent 10,000 hours doing what I do and it's become second nature. That's a good feeling.

For example, in Week Three, the lecture and homework are about synopsizing a script.

Did you know:

Do not ever, ever, EVER comment within the synopsis – this is a story summary and there is absolutely no room here for your opinions. Strictly separate the synopsis (an accurate retelling of what happens) from the commentary (a breakdown of what is and isn’t working by element).

or -

Do NOT synopsize as you go. This will slow you down terribly in completing the coverage and it will also take you out of the read. Just read the script straight through, as you normally would. Use a highlighter or a red pen and read along swiftly but mark those pages, names or moments that you KNOW are significant enough to include in the synopsis.

or -

Very frequently, the script isn’t very entertaining at all. Your job is then not to write a highly entertaining synopsis because that is misrepresenting the script. However, if the script has ANY funny, moving, scary or action-packed moments that stuck with you – really get that feeling and description down in the synopsis. The ability to write a well-crafted synopsis is what separates okay readers from GREAT readers.

I wish I had been able to take this class several years back when I began reading. I knew the basics but I really had to feel my way through finessing my process. The other day, The Script Department received an order to do some coverage from Seed Productions (Hugh Jackman's company). As I prepared to assign the work to a reader, Seed emailed me again. Could you do it personally? Nobody has the thoughtful insight that you do. You have spoiled us. That compliment really made my day. Though now I have to read, synopsize and cover two 100+ page plays by Monday. But it's all good. I always get GREAT stuff from Seed.

So - how many hours are you putting into your writing on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual and cumulative basis? If Gladwell is really onto something - and I think he obviously is - can Wavers understand why, based on the 10,000 hour observation, that it's not super likely you're going to sell your first script? Ten scripts - 100 hours each - that adds up.

So that's all I have to say this Sunday. Tonight I am hosting a Golden Globes party with ballots and the whole nine yards. Be careful, Keith, you could get bumped in the Best Pal category. Do your homework, show up looking pretty and you might retain your status.

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Receiving Feedback

Yesterday I trotted out an oldie but a goodie - how to give a friend or peer notes in a way that is constructive. Today's oldie but goodie is about something ultimately far more important - receiving notes. Because if you're lucky enough to have an agent, manager or production company exec like your script enough to want to meet you, believe me, they'll have notes for you. I've taken notes many, many times and in fact I have a very cool meeting tomorrow morning on one of the thrillers my writing partner and I wrote. Are we ready to take notes? Of course we are. We're professionals and we've done this many times. We only want one thing: a better script and a sale. So bring it. We're ready. We listen to it all and we make the changes required to get buyers interested. It's not about us - it's about the material.

So without further ado - here's a post from January, 2007:

***

You just didn’t get it! That’s what a fair percentage of writers say when they don’t like the notes they receive. Yeah, they didn’t get your subtextual meaning, sheer brilliance or thematic meaning.

This to a consultant, exec or agent who has read upwards of a thousand plus scripts.

Well try this on for size: That’s right. They didn’t get it. Because it wasn’t on the page.

I have noticed a trend: the more experienced the writer is, the easier notes go down. Because experienced writers know how to handle receiving notes. It is the inexperienced writers who shriek like the Wicked Witch of the West after the bucket of water has been thrown on her. Or you sometimes get the quiet, disgruntled writer. Oh. I see. Well. I worked really hard on that. I guess you just - wait for it – didn’t get it.

Handling notes is easy when you can remember one simple thing. It’s not about you. It’s about the story. If you don’t have to kill some darlings then you may not be getting totally honest notes. Want to know how to handle notes better? Here’s how: Just write all the notes down. Don’t judge them, don’t get your hackles up, just nod and scribble. If you are in a meeting situation you may need to dialogue about the notes right there in the moment. But you may also receive notes from a consultant or a friend who was nice enough to read your script.

There are different kinds of notes. Notes about set up (I didn’t buy that the character was really all that desperate). Notes about logic (how could the murderer have been in all those places at once?). Notes about tone or genre (I know it was supposed to be a comedy but I didn’t laugh.) Notes about execution (I got confused. Was the murder in space or on earth?). Notes about the premise itself (I feel like the story was very familiar to me).

Notes are not personal attacks. Notes are opportunities for you, the writer, to improve your story. Set your ego aside and get selfish. Yes, selfish. Do you want the best script ever? Grab those notes, wring them out and see what you can use to improve your script. Check your ego, kill your darlings and don’t get defensive.

Some of the hardest notes to handle are the outright suggestions: Why don’t you make the husband a cross-dresser? What if the killer is from Poughkeepsie? Oh! I know! If you make the lion a hippo, it would be *way* scarier! The way to handle notes like this is exactly the same. Nod and write them down…

Because what you are going to do later (and it’s not only permissible it’s wise not to have answers right there in the moment) is look at your notes and separate them by element. This note is a character issue. This note is a tone issue. This note is a premise or logic issue. This note is structural in nature. Take an inventory – do your notes all have something in common? Maybe your structure is not working. Maybe your characters need a lot more development. Some of the notes will feel vague and you won’t be sure how to interpret them. But here’s how you can try. If the note is something like – it would be really cool if the killer attacked the police woman in this scene! This note probably translates to there’s not enough exciting action in this segment of the script. If the note is – I didn’t buy that the character really *had* to find the treasure. This note is about character motivation and set up.

Make sure you do some quality control when seeking notes. Get notes from experienced writers and get notes from some regular folks – who are smart and like movies. Don’t get notes from your cousin Jimmy or your mom. They won’t be helpful. Absolutely, no matter what, you will get some notes that are ridiculous. That’s okay. Write them down, categorize and evaluate them – and toss them out. This is your story after all. If you use a consultant, you shouldn’t really get any completely ridiculous notes. If the consultant is any good, the notes will be fairly organized and generally spot-on. Yes, personality comes into it. Some people just won’t like your script. Full stop. They don’t like the genre, the type of humor or a particular character. A professional won’t have those personal issues; they will remain objective and judge the script in a mechanical way.

An interesting litmus test is this: if the note really upsets you? Take a hard look at that note. Sleep on it. What is pinging for you? Why are you feeling defensive? Nine times out of ten it’s because the note is spot on but the issue at hand is a darling and you’ll be damned if you’ll kill it. These are the most valuable notes of all. The ones that really get to you.

So here’s the primer on receiving notes:

• Breathe it out – don’t take it personally. That’s rule one.
• Nod and scribble. Write it all down.
• Sort out the notes, look for a pattern.
• Interpret notes that weren’t clear to you. Look for the underlying note.
• Thank the note giver and buy them a drink. They deserve it. If you react with graciousness and sincerity – they might just read for you again.
*If you're receiving notes from an agent, manager or exec, discuss them calmly, sort out the most important ones, dialogue about them and go home and make it happen tout suite.

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Giving Good Feedback

Well it's the Monday before Thanksgiving and many of you may already be packing your bags to visit Ye Olde Relatives. I'm not going anywhere but things are definitely very quiet here in Los Angeles - we are about to enter a period of hibernation - the holidays. On the one hand, yes, business slows, but on the other hand, this is the time when many jr. execs and assistants are manning the phone since they are lowest on the totem pole and guess what - these are the people you want to befriend. Things are less hectic and this could be a time when you can get your script read by some hungry assistants with time on their hands. Things are never slow for me - if I'm not busy doing one thing I'm busy doing another. The Rouge Wave is approaching its second anniversary and there are literally hundreds of posts in the archive. So this week, unless I get terribly, terribly inspired, I will be trotting out some oldies but goodies. Here is a post from March, 2007:

***

Giving feedback is not only good karma, it is paying it forward. When you next need feedback, you’ll have someone to ask. Giving constructive feedback is an art. And it is an art that will serve you well as a writer.

We’ve all been burned by bad feedback. Rude, insensitive, bossy, arrogant, wrong-headed, cruel even. Oh, I have some bad memories of that. I gave my very, very first script to a demi-friend and he said he thought it was “pablum”. I’ll save you the Google look up: Trite, insipid, or simplistic writing, speech, or conceptualization.

He was probably right – it was my first script – ever. I was lucky to have slug lines and page numbers, actually. But he went straight for the jugular. That comment hurt me deeply and really took the wind out of my sails for some time. That hasn’t been my only bad experience but obviously the story has stuck with me.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You put your heart and soul into the script, for months and weeks. And now somebody is going to pass judgment. Writers awaiting feedback are in a very vulnerable position. Yes, yes, we have to have thick skin but writers are sensitive, let’s face it. This is not a new toilet we have installed – our stories are our hearts.

We don’t give feedback to be right or superior or better. We do it to be constructive and productive. Given, I do this every single day; it’s my day job. So I’m pretty good at it. But if this is not normal for you, reading a script and giving notes, just remember to give feedback in the same way you’d want to receive it. Most people upon hearing that will say – well, I want the honest truth. Rouge Wavers – most people can’t handle the truth. That doesn’t mean you should obfuscate – it just means you should always deliver your opinion with kindness and professionalism.

Tips for feedback:

Do it often; develop a support system with peers you respect

Don’t promise to read a script and give feedback if you really don’t have time

Do read it promptly once you have it

Do ask your friend what they want out of this read. You’d be surprised at the different answers. Tailor your notes to the needs and wants of the writer.

Do start on a positive note. If you can only think of one thing – stress it

Don’t throw out your own suggestions – this is not your script; you’ll derail the creative process

Do frame concerns in a “what if” question. (What if you tried this? What if you tried that? I wonder what would happen if this?)

Do understand what the writing is going for or trying to achieve

Don’t chide the writer for failing to execute the idea well; that’s why you’re reading it, ding-dong. If they thought it was perfect, they wouldn’t ask

Do limit your comments to things like: logic, characters, stakes, ticking clock, and pacing; don’t go all McKee/Campbell on your friend. I feel the subplot doesn't connect to the inner need of the protagonist and this is not reflected thematically in the arc of the dynamic character who has reached statis but must find Euclydian balance before the elixir can motivate the shapeshifter. Very annoying.

Do write your notes down and summarize them.

Don’t do page edits and correct typos unless requested. This is also muy annoying.

I hate to repeat it but my friends: never read a script so you can put it down and then feel better about yourself. Say it with me. NEVER read a script with that attitude. Why? It’s bad karma and it will come back to you like a boomerang and whack you upside the head. And at least as importantly, reading with a superior or authoritative attitude deprives you of the learning experience built in to giving feedback.

Good feedback is kind, thorough and timely. It is professional and focused. It leaves the writer feeling challenged to do better but great about their strengths. Even if that just means the location they chose was cool. Give your feedback relative to the skill set of the writer. Never lie or obfuscate. Just serve it up gently.

Ask questions of the material rather than dictating your own concepts. Giving the writer your own ideas only derails or co-opts the writer’s creative process – and in my view, this is a huge trespass. It isn’t your script. If the writer wants brainstorming they’ll ask for it. Even then lead the writer toward realizations or ideas. Part of the process of becoming a better writer is revving up your brain with all those juices and problem solving yourself. Writing by committee is the fast track to obsolescence. Even if you think you're helping by making very specific suggestions (unless requested, I can't stress that enough - it happens) really you are hijacking someone else's material and it's just not cool.

Go forth now, Rouge Wavers – go forth and give feedback. Make me proud.

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Diagnosing Your Script: The Charmin Effect

So I have read - oh gosh - a thousand scripts? Fifteen hundred? I have no idea anymore, I've stopped counting. These days I take it easy; I don't read all that much, maybe 3 to 4 scripts a week. And more than ever, I realize the value of having another pair of eyes on a script. What to me is obvious - a weak complication, two-dimensional character or front-loaded script - to you is a nagging mystery until I point it out. Because after spending so much time with one script, you can't see the forest for the trees. And I don't blame you.

The only thing I have that you don't have is perspective and a thousand scripts under my belt. I have not stared at your script day in and day out for six months. I have not lived with your characters. I am like a doctor. I sit your script down on the exam table and I look at what's there in the here and now. And it might hurt juuuust a little. Close your eyes if you don't like needles or a whack on the knee. But I always send my patients back home with a lollypop and a smile.

It takes a lot of courage to go to the doctor. We all want to get a clean bill of health. But people come to The Script Department because they have a weird itch, limp or rash and they don't know why. We all want to hear we're going to be fine and that there's nothing we have to change or worry about. We all want to hear that if we take the doctor's advice, we WILL win the marathon or gold medal. But the doctor can make no guarantees. Only diagnose and send you home with a prescription.

If I had to name the most common script problems I see, the problems I point out over and over and over each week, I would have to say The Charmin Effect.

DIAGNOSIS of the CHARMIN EFFECT
Soft character arcs, soft premise and soft structure.

What does "soft" mean, exactly? It means that there's too much subtlety in whichever element. As we are all aware, in real life, things are often complex and multi-layered and things almost never resolve neatly. Complications and reversals can land on us like a ton of bricks or they can accrete over time. In real life we muddle through our problems and we are quite good at not allowing anything to force us to change. Some of us literally never change.

In the movies, however, audiences crave resolution, for one thing, and they need to see things writ large. Now, of course there is a difference between character arc in a movie like THE SAVAGES and in a movie like THE MUMMY; you have to service your genre appropriately.

Soft premise, soft character and soft structure - these things are all related. It's all the same problem. Not going BIG enough. Put it another way: not enough going on in the premise to warrant a whole feature script, passive main character and complications and act breaks which don't move the story forward in a significant way. This all combines to create a boring script, or the BOSH script - bunch of stuff happens. Kiss of death, my friends. Flat line on the monitor.

CAUSE
A soft premise is the result of fear of conflict not really thinking the premise all the way through. Writers get stuck in their heads sometimes and tell a story which has mild emotional and usually autobiographical interest to them but not to anyone else. A woman inherits a house from her grandmother and learns that like her grandmother, she loves photography. Wha-? Movies are about conflict. Major conflict. Movies are uncomfortable and filled with tension. In real life most of us avoid conflict like the plague. But the movies are centered on it. Writing a script is a time to scrap being polite, proper or careful. Movies are conflict.

Newer writers are too easy on their characters because they model them too closely after themselves or people they know. But your character is not you or a friend - a character is a symbol that represents Jealousy, Power, Innocence, Betrayal, Justice or Heartbreak. Writers are often loathe to be too hard on their characters. They like them too much to give them a meaningful, active flaw. They start them out pretty nice and they wind up nicer. Characters must have an arc of change and they can't wind up changed if they started out pretty okay in the first place. Something has to be majorly amiss in your character on page one. Not a little amiss like they are shy and want a date. That's boring. We all want a date. Go. Bigger.

Soft structure is bound, hand and foot to soft premise and soft character arcs. You cannot separate these three elements. If you're too soft on your characters, the turning points and complications will be soft too. Your pages will just blur in to one another with nothing significant moving the story forward. And you wind up with a script with the consistency, color and flavor of oatmeal instead of a script with the consistency, color and flavor of paella.

THE CURE
Don't avoid conflict - seek it out. Take the gloves off. Don't be so polite and so careful. Writing is a down and dirty occupation and don't let anybody tell you any different.

Write down your premise line. Do you have an antagonist? A crux of CONFLICT, major turning points and a big sacrifice or choice the main character will have to make? Stare at your premise line. Is it going to get anyone outside your immediate family excited? Does it have a hook and a unique concept?

It takes courage to Go Big in your script. Writers are afraid to really think bigger and sometimes they are too lazy to do the work. That's right, I said it. Too lazy. Where is the backstory for your character? Where is the outline for your script? Where is the killer logline that you should have worked out before you started writing the script? Laziness, timidity and a loathing to really put your characters through the wringer is the reason that the word "soft" would apply to so many scripts.

I know most writers don't have the access to read a thousand scripts in order to gain the perspective that lends a person. But you have the Rouge Wave and a million other resources. Ask yourself if you're really writing about conflict, change and catharsis. Not kind of - but truly.

Watch movies that are in any way similar to your script idea. Push the pause button when you think you spot a major complication. Look at the timer on your dvd player - notice that it's right about 10, 25 and 50 minutes into the movie that these things happen? Gain some cajones, Wavers - are you writing about conflict or are you writing about CONFLICT? Are you being too easy on your main character? Is your premise SERIOUSLY worth several million dollars to make? Who would the audience be for this movie? You and your family? Or millions of people all around the world?

Writers who are unafraid to really go there - whether in the premise and in the execution or whether that means going to the doctor to find out how they did - are writers who have a million times more chance of actually having a writing career than a writer who is stuck in his or her head, too timid and too vacuum-sealed to get outside perspective and to push their characters harder and further than they thought possible - or nice - or convenient.

It's up to you whether you take the cure. We are not all getting in shape for a sprint here, that's the good news. This is a marathon. So you've made some mistakes. So what. It's never too late to get it together so you can really compete with the thousands of scripts that flood into Hollywood every single day.

Bigger, better, faster, more. It's the way of the movies.

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Sweat the Small Stuff

I hate to sound like a school marm. I do. I'm a fun person. And I'm not a stickler in life. If my dinner order is pretty hot but not piping hot, I don't send it back. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I give them the benefit. If there's sand on my sheets from the beach, I shake it out and sweep up the next day. Anyone who knows me knows that I am in fact diplomatic to a fault. Very little upsets me, very little irks me.

But lately unproofread scripts are driving me nuts. Maybe it's because I'm viewing things through a new lens - that of a possible manager. See - even now, I can't quite commit by using a stronger, more declarative statement. Okay let's just say I'm strongly toying with the idea to the point that I have taken on one client and am mildly, curiously looking for more. Maybe. If I read a great script.

But in the day to day I'm still the mama of The Script Department. And in that capacity, I read at least one script daily. And I read pretty fast. I like to settle down with a cup of coffee and immerse myself in a script without interruptions. I don't sit near my computer, I don't answer the phone. I give each script my full attention.

I always have a pen nearby, to circle problems or leave notes for myself. The little things - spelling, grammar, logic questions, etc., I note directly on that particular page. The big problems I scribble on the title page. So I might have Big Notes that say: scene work. character arcs. structure. soft premise.

Lately, I have been circling a whole lot of little problems on pages. Dialogue that does not end with a punctuation mark. Errant commas. Characters names all-capped throughout the script or not done at all. Missing ages for characters. Misspells, malaprops. Sheek for chic, peer for pier, your for you're, to for too.

And every time I have to stop reading to circle those problems, my read is interrupted. I am taken out of the story for a nanosecond. And that irks me. Because I need to be in the flow of the story. And if I pause for one nanosecond for every error but I do that six times on almost every page - pretty soon my focus on the story itself starts to fade.

Production company readers slam the writer for these types of sloppy, lazy errors. I note the problem to a client but of course, I am not about slamming, just knuckle rapping. Why my clientele feels a good proofread is not necessary when sending to me, I don't know. I think they figure that they'll be rewriting the script anyway, since they're getting notes so the small stuff doesn't matter. But it does. It lowers my estimation of the writer - just a tiny bit. And, more importantly, it distracts me from the story. If a writer keeps making the same punctuation mistakes over and over, you'd think you could stop circling them and just make one overall comment that they need to proofread. That would do the trick. But - I can't help but circle them. Every time I read a your for you're I cringe. It's a tick that most readers have. It bugs us. It bugs us A LOT.

When your script is read, you really want the reader to be totally focused on your story and your characters. Proofreading isn't for perfectionists or bookish types, it's a gateway to a smooth read. How valuable are receiving notes that are mini-lessons in contractions, comma usage or proper punctuation? Aren't you more interested in receiving notes about character arc, dialogue and structure? Isn't that the top priority? It is for me, as a story analyst. But proper grammar, punctuation and spelling are the delivery system for your story.

Imagine watching a television show and every 3 seconds, you see something wrong - a prop that keeps switching, a costume change, a stumble over dialogue. Pretty soon, that's all you see - not the story itself. And imagine the producers of the show saying - yeah, yeah, ignore those details, just get into the story, man!

The details need to be right in order for the story to shine. Why, just last week I read a script in which the writer didn't bother to end lines of dialogue with punctuation marks throughout about 50% of the script. Missing periods and missing question marks. It amazes me that this is something one would not notice.

To me, missing punctuation marks are glaring red neon signs I don't know where the sentence ends I can't tell if the line of dialogue was meant to be a question or a statement and the repeated use of the same repeated words which repeat again and again is distracting because pretty soon I just see the repeated words standing out highlighted against the rest of the words and this bothers me do you see what I mean

These tiny interruptions are anathema to a reader and death for a writer. Interestingly, as I have noted in the past, I have never read a great script with these problems. I have read great scripts with one or two mistakes - but not consistent problems on every page. Every page. Can you imagine?

Please take the time to proofread. And at least as importantly, take the time to write properly in the first place. I know that writers might be writing quickly, on the fly (on the subway, late at night, at a café) but taking the time to write well in the first place will save you a lot of errors. And always proofread before submitting your script to anyone. My job is not to slam scripts and give them a cold and brutal PASS. My job is to find out what is working and what is not and to help the writer take the script to the next level so that when it is read by a production company, agent or manager the writer has literally put his or her best foot forward. It makes my job a lot harder and less efficient if I have six things circled on every page. Treat me the way you would treat any other producer, manager or agent.

Lately, when I read scripts, I have a subtextual agenda. Is this a writer that I might want to manage? Is this the comedy I have been looking for? Is this an opportunity for me to make a valuable connection between the writer and somebody else? But if my read is herky jerky and peppered with interruptions, if the writer was too lazy or too hurried to use punctuation properly, if the writer consistently uses the language poorly - there's no way in HELL I'd work with them beyond these notes.

So if you're thinking about submitting a script to The Script Department for notes, please do a better job of proofreading. I have had a batch of scripts lately, peppered with tiny, very fixable errors. What if I personally read your script? What if I am looking for a great comedy right now? Full disclosure: I am. My readers will simply note the error and get you the notes. I will note the errors, get you your notes and then make a tiny mental note: this writer is lazy and sloppy - down the bad egg chute you go.

Every single person who reads your script in this industry is a possible new fan of you and your work. You never know where that can lead. I can't say it enough times - never send a script to anyone before you have gone over with a fine-tooth comb. You never know. This script could open doors and create connections. This script could get you an enthusiastic fan. Don't give us any excuse to write you off as a lazy writer. Pretty please?

Now get back to work.

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Anger Management

When was the last time you got really angry? You know what I mean, that white-hot lightning bolt that runs up your spine and explodes in your head? That star-spangled-symphony of what-the-HELLness that feels so very goooood until the aftermath?

It is rare - quite rare - maybe one out of 100, that I get complaints about notes received by one of my clients. Questions, yes, dialogue of course, brainstorming, conversation - all of the above. But once in a blue moon we get someone so irate that the notes are called "a joke" and then the complainer lustily declares he/she will be notifying their lawyer. One of the benefits of getting older is that, especially when I hear the lawyer thing, I feel a sense of absolute calm, and usually I smile sympathetically. Aw. You're upset. I understand. I really do. But if you want to work in Hollywood - dude, get a grip.

I had two totally different experiences this week. One angry email as vaguely described above, and another client who had a phone consultation with yours truly who was the most amazingly receptive, creative and on-the-ball writer. One writer thought the notes and suggestions were "a joke" - the other took the notes and suggestions and ran down the field like a star quarterback with all sorts of interesting solutions. Which writer do you think has a better shot at a career in Hollywood?

Now mind you, both writers paid for their notes. Natch. This is my business. So taking notes in a meeting with an executive is not identical to taking notes you paid to receive. However, I think the ability to handle notes is a skill set that is crucial in either situation. The first thing I do when I get a complaint is to reread the notes - I do only a small percentage of the reading at The Script Department. So I revisit what my reader said and I look carefully to be sure I find a positive lead-in, specific notes and suggestions (where possible; sometimes the problems are so generalized that the notes may include a general overview of executing a specific story element or three), an organized and thorough approach and a positive summary comment.

I am famously picky about my readers. Ask them. I never hire anyone without a lot of experience and a real gift for giving notes. I have yet had to slap the hand of one of my readers. Wait - that's not true, I have had to hand-slap ONCE for a coverage that was too generous on a script that I later read and was full of problems. I will reprimand a reader for being too encouraging when the script is undeserving. Why? Because now the writer got notes that are not genuinely reflective of the condition of the script and the writer will be set up for walloping disappointment when nobody else (i.e., someone in the industry) responds as positively. Being too sweet is ripping someone off, in my view.

But there are some who can't handle the truth. So much so that angry emails to me result. I don't mind, it doesn't upset me - but I do feel bad for the writer. Because I understand, intimately so, how it feels to receive notes that are less positive than the writer had hoped. Boy do I know that feeling. I'm not the type, personally, who hits the ANGER button reflexively when I do not like something - I tend toward more passive dismay and depression.

It is a profound bummer, to understate it wildly, when something you have worked so hard on apparently isn't working according to some jackass. But that's the thing - I (and by proxy, my readers) am not some jackass. And I have no personal investment in making a writer feel bad.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said - no one can make you feel anything. Okay I've butchered that, I'm sure she said something much more elegant but you get the gist. If you feel upset about something, the tripwire may have been external, but the anger is generated by your own insecurity, fear and disappointment.

Anger is generally born of fear. Where WERE you!! (my god, you could have been hurt!) How could you CHEAT on me! (oh my god, you're leaving me! I'll be alone!) You CUT ME OFF in traffic! (christ, I could have had an accident and been hurt) He's SUCH a jerk! (he told one of my secrets to someone else - I'm humiliated!) Your notes are a JOKE! (oh shit, my writing/script isn't as good as I thought. I suck. I'll never make it....no....it's NOT MY FAULT, it's YOUR FAULT) See that progression from depression and self-blame to the externalization and transmogrification of the same feeling into outward blame? It can't be that my script is troubled - it MUST then be that YOU are a jerk and have ripped me off!!

Ahhhh. Nope. The truth hurts. But it doesn't have to. The ironic thing is that in the case of this particularly inflamed writer, the script really isn't in that bad a shape. And the notes reflect that. So this is a writer with a particularly sensitive tripwire. Nothing I can do about that.

Two things: the next time you get angry about something - anything - stop and notice, if you can (and it's hard) the way your feelings pinball around inside of you searching to externalize what is essentially internal. My job, my money, my girlfriend, my script - my loss, my hurt, my humiliation, my threat - YOUR FAULT. Because sometimes, even briefly, it's just easier to imagine that the problem lies outside of oneself. Right? I think we've all been there. Some of us are just more stuck there than others.

It's not often, as you age, when you begin to holds books further away in order to see clearly, when something in your knee is clicking, when 50 suddenly doesn't seem like an unlikely age to hit, that you are thankful for your age and experience. But on this topic particularly, I'm glad I'm where I'm at. Very little upsets me anymore. I guess I've been through too much for that. Don't get me wrong - I'm not above negative feelings. If you know me well, you know I've had my challenges. I'm just wired to go to the depression place rather than externalize. I once read somewhere that depression is rage directed inward. Huh. Maybe. But more than that, I understand on a deep level that we are here on this earth to play and to experience. And I'd rather feel good. I'd rather find forgiveness, understanding, grace and healing than to scream and shout and feel horrible.

But I do feel bad and sympathetic, when that rare writer goes ballistic rather than calmly accepting notes - tossing the ones that just don't feel right and embracing the ones that really click with something. In a very difficult business which feels so very personal - what do you mean they don't want MY SCRIPT? - it is a gift and a blessing to be able to be circumspect.

Breathe it out, learn to collaborate, cooperate and not take things personally. The number one entity here is THE STORY. Not you, not your ego, not your insecurities - but the script.

That is all. If you live in LA, enjoy this blessed peppering of much needed rain and to Wavers all over the world - and you are legion - have a cupcake and get back to work.

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The Awful Truth

Do you ever do that thing - you're at a party or otherwise loud location and someone you don't really know very well is earnestly telling you something and you're listening - or really trying to, in order to be polite and possibly catch something interesting or useful in the conversation...but you can't quite hear the person and aren't quite following what they are saying? So you nod politely at what seem like appropriate moments and when the conversation is over, pray that you are never put on the spot about what that conversation was just about?

You know that feeling? And while you're listening to this person you are desperately looking for a way OUT of the conversation but also making bullet points in your head about what they are saying: soccer...fishing trip...daughter (oh damn, was that son?)...some law firm...some type of law...

We all do it. We learn to half-listen because we'd rather be somewhere else. And we learn to fake our way through those obligatory conversations in case there's a pop quiz.

But - does it ever happen to YOU? Are you ever the person earnestly speaking that someone else is trying to extricate themselves from? What a horrible thought!! No, that could never happen to me - I'm fascinating! This is something that happens to other saps! Even in the briefly described scenario above, you pictured yourself as the clever person trying to both synopsize and escape - NOT the poor slob going on and on about a soccer team fishing trip with her son. Right? Of course you did.

But what if that not only was you - what if that was your script. As you. But a script. A script with arms and legs and a funny hat.

I have read several projects this week that even alone, in my favorite cozy reading spot, got me very confused. Jimmy, Kenny, Debby, Suzy - huh? I have to flip back a few pages. Which one is Jimmy? OH RIGHT, the one who just got out of prison. And - why are we in this cafe in this scene? Flip back. Um....what's going on here? Flip back. Flip forward. I'm confused. The character's voices are blurring together and the action is not clear. What is happening here? Like the person at the party, I am leaning into it, trying to listen carefully - I'm not going to walk away, I HAVE to give this script my best. But I'm having a hard time following along.

Guys, if this is your script, you have a massive problem. Because an executive does not have to listen or follow along. They get to just chuck your script and move on. Think of me as your pre-executive vetting pal. Do NOT wear that dress, it makes you look fat. Stop going on and on about your kids. Look alive, make gestures, spice up this conversation a little bit. Because there's a lot of other people at this party and you're not holding my attention.

Hollywood is brutal. If you can't hold someone's attention almost immediately, they move on without apology. So how do you know if your script is a jumbled mess with confusing pages? What seems like pure genius to you might be a rambling mess to someone else.

Short of getting notes and feedback from someone like me, which is honestly your best option, here's a fun little exercise. We all try so hard not to be rude, right? Give your script to a friend (ideally one who has read at least one other script) and give them carte blanche to be rude. Not tear into you or the script - I don't mean that. I mean tell them, at exactly the point at which you got confused or bored - STOP right there and tell me so. Don't embellish, don't apologize, don't be nice, just tell me. On page 14, I lost the plot. That's the exact scene in which I gave up trying to understand.Reassure your friend, spouse, writing group - that you can handle this feedback. Don't you want total honesty? For real? Someone being nice to you won't in any way be an equivalent to how your script will be handled in Hollywood.

When I was coaching writers on their pitches at the Fade in Pitch Fest, I was politely rude. With a purpose. When a writer lost me, I stopped them right there and said you know what, I stopped listening to you about a minute ago. I started thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch. Let's rewind the tape and find that faulty spot in your pitch and see what we can do to amp it up.

Diagnose your script and problem solve. Are your characters not distinct enough to stand out as individuals? Do more character work. Are your scenes not moving the story forward and establishing stakes? Revisit your scene work and your character work. What is your character's overarching goal? What is at stake? Does this scene jump in late and get out early? Are your scene locations generic? Look at your action lines.

I know that more and more lately, whenever I allude to problematic scripts, the latest clients I have had who read the Rouge Wave say - omg! Were you talking about MY script? You were, weren't you! To which I say of course I was. And of course I was not. I always compress scripts into one example, hybrid script to discuss.

Because guess what - if you got notes back recently that said your structure isn't working or that there isn't any tension in your narrative, you are probably one of ten scripts this week that got that note. Because those problems are sadly not unique at all. So relax, take a deep breath and know that no specific script would ever, ever get discussed on the Rouge Wave. It's weird to think that although you thought your script and your premise was totally unique - it isn't. And the issues in your script are also not unique. So if I mention a coming-of-age script that I read this week - it could be one of three that either I or one of my readers read. Weird, huh? For everyone of you that is writing a coming-of-age script, there are umpteen others writing them as well. Not just read by my company, god knows, but being read all over town. And that's your competition - did someone else write a coming-of-age script set in a more interesting era? With a more unique main character? With a killer hook? Then, in this great Candy Land Game of Life - they will win.

Put your script into context. You are definitely not the only writer with a western, sci-fi, quarrantine-related love story. You just aren't. I know - I never would have believed it either until I started reading scripts day in and day out. On the one hand, personally, it puts me in the cat bird seat - I have seen it all. I have industry connections, I have tons of up-and-coming writer friends and a couple of established, very successful writer friends. I know what's out there. On the other hand, when it come to my own writing, it's a bit paralyzing.

That's the trick, isn't it? To stay motivated but also to have that reality check. Look at your logline and just know that there are ten other scripts being read right now, with a similar logline. Bank on it. So - how will your script be competitive?

Do a reality check on whether your script is really attention-grabbing. Ask a friend you trust to be absolutely honest with you about where it became a problem on your pages. It is far, far better to know the truth about your script now and to do the work necessary to bring it up to par, than it is to know that your script just got tossed in the circular file because of it. What may be fascinating, moving and entertaining to YOU may not have that effect on someone else. Check in with your script. And be ready to hear the truth. You'd rather hear the truth from me or from a friend than the thud of your script hitting the recycling bin, believe me. Because once it hits that bin, you just got ejected from the game.

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Rating the Project

Happy Monday, Wavers! Here is an excerpt from the ongoing Reader E-Course that I am offering. The more I think about it, the more I think that taking this course would be GREAT for aspiring writers who have absolutely no plans for becoming a reader. Why? Because you are going to learn all the inside tips, tricks and tenets of covering a script. So you'll have a good sense of what is going to happen to your script when it's covered. You'll learn about the standards to which your script will be held. So without further adieu, for your edu-tainment:

Rating the Project

It’s a well-known axiom in Hollywood that readers are the gatekeepers. Our “pass” recommendation on a project means that at that particular company, the script is done. Finito. Kaput. It’s a big responsibility. Readers are pulled in a lot of directions; we are usually writers ourselves and we feel for the writer of the script we are reading. Because we get it. We get how hard they worked on the script. Other times, the fact that we are writers ourselves makes our judgment harsher – gimme a break! HOW did this script get to this level of consideration?! Add to that the feeling of being a bit unsure if this script is really a pass – like – maybe it could be better, right? And if we “pass” and the script gets picked up at another company, will we get in trouble? Did we blow it? What if we give a script a “consider” and the executive who then has to read it disagrees with us? Will we get fired?


The fact is that being a reader means you must take your job seriously; you are considered an expert. The production company is paying for your judgment. If you say the script is a “pass”, it’s a “pass”. The production company is relying on you. The key is to make absolutely sure that you back up your “pass” or “consider” with well-reasoned perspective and an understanding of the market and of the tenets of good storytelling. The greener you are as a reader, the harder it is, initially, to know whether a script really is that original. Once you’ve read a few hundred, you’ll start noticing the trends and patterns and yes, you become a bit jaded.

Err on the side of being tough on scripts. It is a thousand times more likely you will get called on the carpet by an exec for giving a “consider” that wasn’t really a “consider” than giving something a pass. Here’s why: if you give a script a “pass” the executive will still briefly review your coverage. He or she will skim the logline, the grid and your brief summary (a mini-condensed paragraph summarizing your decision that you cull from the coverage itself and put on the first page of your report). Now the executive is going to make their own decision and decide that the logline or your notes are interesting enough to warrant a look at the script. Or not. But if you give a script a “consider”, the exec is going to read your coverage quite carefully and if your coverage sounds really enthusiastic and wonderful, the exec just got homework for that weekend. They are going to take that script home for the weekend and read it themselves. And an exec who has taken time away from a party, from relaxing, from his or her family only to read a script that is in fact NOT a “consider” is not a happy exec. Err on the side of being tough.

A script you give a “consider” to has to be absolutely PERFECT in your view. So perfect it could be cast and produced right now. That great. A “recommend” means that times a thousand. It means that the executive should immediately cancel all plans and read the script. Right now. One production company I read for, with a first look at Sony had the executive’s cell phone number on the coverage template. If a script got a “recommend” you were to immediately call the exec.

So that’s a pretty big responsibility. Are you prepared to tell the exec, at 10pm or while they were lunching at the Ivy, that this is a script they should reschedule their entire day for? Can you back it up? What if they don’t agree with you? You better be damn sure before you give a recommend.

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Screenwriting Gurus

Apply that term to me or anybody else and I get really uncomfortable. One definition of guru is "a person who is regarded as having great knowledge, wisdom and authority in a certain area, and uses it to guide others." but I can't help but associate the word with its other definition: "a teacher or guide in the religious sense." I always picture a prophet of some kind, with supplicants gathered round, listening to every word as if it were inspired by god. The shoe! The gourd! As if screenwriting "gurus" are in some way magical or holy. Gimme a break.

Interestingly, whenever I see screenwriting gurus referred to, it's usually in the negative, as if they themselves have chosen that label and see themselves as above the screenwriters they serve.

Serve is the operative word for me, personally. I have something I'm good at and I serve others by bringing those insights to bear when it is asked of me.

Like my script consultant peers, I’m a professional – meaning I analyze stories for a living. Just like a mom who is professional and an expert at making four lunches, waking everybody up and getting them to school on time is really good at that because she does it every freaking day. You want some advice from her? She’ll tell you how she does it. If that works for you too, terrific. If not, ask another mom or figure it out your own way. Either way, the kids have to get to school on time, dressed and prepared for the day.

Some people are fans of McKee, Blake Snyder or Christopher Vogler. Whatever speaks to YOU. At the end of the day, let’s be honest, nobody really has anything particularly new to add to the topic of how to write a great script. It’s just HOW it’s taught. Some writers really like to go in for a very academic approach. Others like Blake’s lighter, more playful tone.

Personally, I like to keep it real and simple. And Wavers know that I strongly feel that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. You have to be able to laugh and not take this so deadly seriously. It’s not rocket science – but it is an art, this screenwriting thing.

I don't think script consultant "gurus" should be put on a pedestal but rather, like any professional - a good mechanic, a doctor, a web designer - be respected for their knowledge and put to work by you only if it's a good fit for you. In fact, I vote that we dispense with that stupid "guru" term altogether and replace it with Friendly Script Helper Person. I'm all for it.

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StoryLink Ezine

So I have recently begun writing a monthly column in the StoryLink Ezine under the "Insider's Corner". That's the category not my pen name. Although a pen name, something like Liberty Van Readsalot is something I have toyed with.

I thought I'd reprint the article which just came out today, here on the Rouge Wave, even thought this is stuff we've talked about many a time:

Question:
"I'm considering having my screenplay read by a script consultant, but I'm not sure how the rating system works. How will I know if my script is good enough to get passed along to agents and production companies?"

Production company script coverages use a fairly standard ratings grid with about four main categories: storyline, characterization, dialogue, and premise. Storyline refers to the execution and style of your narrative. In other words: Is your structure in good shape? Is the pacing brisk and compelling? etc. Characterization refers to whether your characters are unique, organic, and believable. The Dialogue category rates original, organic, and effective dialogue writing. Premise rates whether the central idea itself is fresh, unique, and compelling. Each category is given a rating, either “excellent”, “good”, “fair,” or “poor.” There are other categories the reader will also be looking for, such as theme, logic, world, tone, etc., but those are examined within the coverage rather than on the grid and only on a need-to basis.

Some private script consultants use variations of the standard grid. Other consultants may not use a grid at all, favoring giving notes by category in a looser, more free-form way. At The Script Department we not only use a grid, we have two additional categories: “Professional appearance” and “Readiness for market.” The grid is for the writer’s use and we want to provide a bit more detail than a production company grid, since we work for the writer not the production company.

Most production companies will rarely, rarely give an “excellent” or “poor” rating to any category since extremes are avoided in either direction. But a “fair” rating is the new “poor” in the sense that it’s not a rating you want to get. Most private script consultants also avoid those extremes since “excellent” cannot guarantee your success with the script and nobody wants to get an irate, confused client who doesn’t understand why an “excellent” rating did not translate to a sale or option. The truth is, because this is Hollywood and nobody knows anything, an “excellent” may not make things happen for you anyway. But it’s a pretty good jumping off point and indicator. At The Script Department, we use “rethink” instead of “poor”; it’s just a little nicer on the ol’ ego. A spoonful of sugar and all that.

It’s tricky to know, when using a private consultant, where you really stand. If you receive low ratings on your grid, and copious notes pointing out what is not working, you can pretty much rest assured that you and your script are not quite there yet. By there yet, I mean truly on a competitive level with scripts out there being given serious consideration. If, on the other hand, you receive high ratings and an enthusiastic response from your consultant about the originality of your script, about your unique voice and compelling premise, you can be pretty sure you’ve got something good on your hands because consultants have seen it all.

A consultant has zero to gain by being disingenuous about your script. Most consultants, myself included, tread the fine line between being encouraging but realistic. But when we love a script – we just about fly out of our seats with joy. So gauge the enthusiasm of your response as well as the marks on your grid knowing that nobody would like you to succeed more than that consultant. Why? Because if your script really does rock and you make a sale, win a competition or otherwise gain accolades with the script, the consultant will wear that success like a badge of honor. If the consultant loves your script and thinks it’s ready for agents, managers, or producers, you’ll not only know it quickly, you’ve probably just found yourself a mentor, cheerleader, and enthusiastic coach in the process. Consultants and competitive writers have a symbiotic, mutually beneficial relationship, in other words.

If your consultant does not go nuts over your script, take that as your clue that they do not feel you are quite ready for prime time. Some consultants will bluntly tell you what they think, others will be far more flattering than the script deserves as a way of making the writer happy. Most consultants, even when they have bad news, couch it in subtext and/or tread lightly on the fact that the script is not so hot. It is a coping mechanism; not only is it quite unpleasant to have to tell a writer their script is not good, there are writers out there who fly off the handle in a huge way when they do not like what they hear. It’s an unpleasant reality of being a script consultant, as awful as it is rare. So seasoned consultants make sure their notes are professional, honest and plainly stated.

If you choose to use a script consultant, caveat emptor – buyer beware. Make sure your consultant has great testimonials and experience. Ask if you can talk to a couple past clients. Good word of mouth is crucial. Make sure the costs are what you can reasonably afford. And be certain you are ready to hear the truth about your script.

Being a script consultant is a business. But being a great script consultant is an art — a great consultant is a teacher, a cheerleader, and an honest big brother or sister. You want someone who will tell you the truth in a way that you can digest. A good consultant will be honest with you because to allow you to labor under an illusion is irresponsible. But there are ways to be honest that are more genteel than others. If your consultant is complete sunshine and roses about your script, ask them to put their money where their mouth is – do they know someone who might be interested in reading your script? If your consultant is bluntly rude in the name of “that’s what it’s really like out there in Hollywood” - you’re working with the wrong consultant.

No, Hollywood is not really a place where people will tell you that you stink to your face. The loudest condemnation is an unreturned phone call. So do not fall for a consultant who claims he or she will tell you the “brutal truth” for your own good, when in fact this is a person who is probably burnt out and not enamored with writers anymore. Again, you will get no more good out of a consultant who is Mary Sunshine and who overstates where you and your script are. Go for someone right in the middle; honest but kind. Consultants are always on the look out for writers who just might be another feather in the cap. The most important element here is: Are YOU ready to hear the truth about your script?

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