Top 3 Halloween Short Scenes

Well, Wavers - it was very tough, but I have read through all of the submissions and selected the three that I think are the cream of the crop. So, for your enjoyment, I present:

UNTITLED by Doug Jones

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

Two young girls, LILY(10) and JOSIE(7) are at the table making
cards out of construction paper. MOM, (30’s) is making dinner.

LILY
Can I borrow your periwinkle crayon?

JOSIE
Only if you cut out this pumpkin shape
for me. These scissors are too big.

The girls go back to paper cutting and coloring. Then…

JOSIE
Hi.

Mom shrieks. An OLD MAN, pale and in a dark suit, at the door.

OLD MAN
Sorry if I scared you. I came to drop
off a map for the trick or treaters.

MOM
Oh, thanks. But I thought there weren’t
any other kids in the neighborhood?

OLD MAN
That’s a bit of a paradox. I suppose
we’re optimistic. And we love children.

Mom takes a map from the old man. She glances at the door during
a moment of uneasy silence.

LILY
Ouch!

Quick as a cat, the old man is at Lily’s side with a handkerchief
pressed to her finger. A scarlet dot seeps through.

MOM
Thank you. I’ll have to go get a Band-
Aid. See you on Halloween. Night.

The old man hesitates, smiling slightly, eyes closed.

OLD MAN
Oh yes, of course. Good evening.

After the old man has left, Mom applies a band-aid to Lily’s
finger. Josie studies the map.

JOSIE
Halloween’s going to be boring this
year.

MOM
Why’s that?

JOSIE
There’s only one house on this map.

******

PUMPKIN BLUES by Dare Kent

EXT. FARM – DAY

A FARMER, 40s, moves the last pumpkin from the trailer to the table. He looks over the pumpkins with fatherly pride.

FARMER

Be plump, friendly, and orange.

That’s how you’ll find a family.

The farmer hops onto the tractor and drives the empty trailer away.

SNIFFLE, a periwinkle pumpkin, SPOUT, bravely holds back blue tears. OJ, the orange pumpkin beside him SNICKERS.

OJ

It’s not your fault you’re unlovable.

A child’s hand picks up OJ.

CHILD

I want this one, Mom. This one.

As the child carries OJ away, he sticks his tongue out at Spout.

EXT. FARM – NIGHT

Flickering lights float towards the ground behind Spout as he CRIES.

A lavender blue Alien materializes before Spout. He pulls out a blue handkerchief, dries Spout’s tears.

SPOUT

Who, who are you?

ALIEN

An alien, from a paradox universe, a place where all things periwinkle blue are connected.

SPOUT

Why come here?

ALIEN

Do you know what they do to pumpkins, Spout?

Alien bends down, whispers in Spout’s ear.

SPOUT

Really?

Alien nods solemnly, disappears, the flickering lights fly towards the moon.

INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

A MOM pulls out a knife, the sharp edge glints under the fluorescent lights. OJ, horrified, watches as Mom walks towards him, WHISTLING an upbeat tune. Mom stabs the knife in soft orange flesh, OJ SCREAMS. Mom keeps WHISTLING.

INT. KITCHEN – LATER

Darkness. A child’s hand places a lit candle inside a carved pumpkin. OJ, now a jack-o-lantern, his horrified face forever frozen in death.

*****

THE GOOD SON by Cheryl Greenblatt

EXT. THE SKY - DUSK

Crickets signal the coming night. The sky, azure at its zenith, fades to a dusky periwinkle on the horizon.

Suddenly - the ugly hum of orange of sodium lights and the sky goes dark.

We are in a parking lot outside a 24-hour doughnut shop.

INT. DOUGHNUT SHOP - CONTINUOUS

DORIS (58), her ruddy face lined, hair bleach blonde, glances up briefly from the cash register as the bell on the front door JINGLES.

DORIS
Hey kids, going trick-or-treating?

JIMMY and DWAYNE, baseball caps pulled low over their faces don’t hide the acne and greasy hair. They’re way too old to trick-or-treat.

On the counter, a small pumpkin flickers as a candle shines through its gaping mouth. Doris refills a ketchup bottle.

DORIS
(not looking up)
Whattsa matter, cat got your tongue?

Suddenly, Jimmy puts a gun in her face.

JIMMY
Shut the fuck up!

The ketchup bottle SHATTERS on the floor.

DORIS
Take it! Take all the money!

Jimmy leers at Doris.

JIMMY
Just gimme all the cash and do it fast.

DWAYNE (V.O.)
Jimmy?

Jimmy turns and - BANG. He stares blankly, a bullet hole between his eyes. He hits the floor. Dwayne takes off his baseball cap. Doris lowers her hands and stares.

DWAYNE
Bit of a paradox, aint’ it? Guy like me, savin’ your life?

Doris sinks heavily to the floor, ketchup co-mingling with Jimmy’s blue-red blood.

DORIS
(barely audible)
Thank you, son.

Outside, the headlights of two police cruisers sweep across the parking lot. The bell jingles as Dwayne slips through the door and heads for a cornfield. Doris wipes up the ketchup and weeps.

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What Will the Writers Do?

What a busy day on the Rouge Wave! Is anybody getting any work done? It's hard to work what with running around getting that last minute make-up for my Courtney Love costume tomorrow. Oh, yes, and the strike....

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Only Hours Left....

....to turn in your halloween short scene! The prizes just keep getting better: The Great American PitchFest, impressed by the number and quality of our short scene submissions, has donated a a complimentary three month subscription to Storylink's new Pitch Perfect. Writers upload a video pitch onto their website to be viewed by one of the execs who also subscribes (Imagine Enertainment, Original Artists, etc.). It's like a video version of Inktip, and it's just launched.

So if you're feeling saucy, sassy and serendipitous today, sit down, focus, and write up a short scene. The prizes are pretty cool. C'mon, crackle those knuckles and go for it.

As a reminder, here are the parameters:

The Pumpkin, Paradox, Periwinkle Short Scene Competition

Rules

Write a one-page scene using the words pumpkin, paradox and periwinkle anywhere in the scene. Make the scene Halloween-themed, any genre. Could be funny, could be terrifying, could be poignant. But you have one page and you must use those three words anywhere within that scene.

Format

PDF or Final Draft is preferred but the Wave-inatrix is a softie at heart and anything short of a crumpled receipt will be reviewed.

Deadline extended:

Please submit your scene HERE by 9pm Pacific Time and on Wednesday, the 31st, I will post the top three finalists and in a Rouge Wave tradition - Rouge Wavers will vote for the winner.

Lots of Prizes!

A $25 gift certificate to a choice of: the Landmark or AMC theaters

A $10 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble or Amazon

A 25% gift certificate toward any Script Whisperer service. (offer expires November 15th)

Michael Hauge's latest book Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds

3 month subscription to Pitch Perfect (as above).

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Don't Stop at Grandma

By Margaux Froley Outhred

The best lesson I learned last week at the Creative Screenwriting Expo was about whom you choose to give you feedback on your scripts. It’s the old idea of “Choose your friends wisely”; which can apply to general social skills in life, but more important and actually relevant, is who you choose to read your writing.

If we, as writers, are looking for a gentle pat on the back, and easy validation, we know to send our scripts to Grandma. “Oh, Honey, it’s just great. I couldn’t really understand what was happening, and only got to page 10, but it was just great.” And if you’re in the right mood, you’ll believe her!

We love what we write about; stories that appear in our heads out of thin air, and then we love them enough to spend our early mornings, or weekends, to put these ideas onto the page and to shape them and craft them into compelling stories. No wonder it’s important to guard them carefully. But it is critical to work them into the best story they can be so that they can be enjoyed by others. If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, does it make a sound? No. Good screenplays cannot be created in a vacuum. Nor can they improve all by themselves. So, finding the right person to understand your vision and help improvement…that’s like a good relationship. You’ve got to be on the same page and work towards a common goal.

But, this isn’t about coverage. It’s about not taking “no” for an answer. If you ask your dear old Grandma for notes, and don’t find someone else to read your script, you’re stopping your own development as a writer. Anyone who reads your script and just says, “It’s great” is not helping you. Thank them and find the next person who will read your work. Use those friendships, consultants, barter agreements, whatever you call it, as long as you can find someone who will tell you the truth about your writing. That is your biggest adversary, the truth - and you need someone who will deliver it to you.

Having the courage, or just being in the right mood to hear the truth isn't always easy. Sometimes it does help to call Grandma first.

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Until We Meet Again....

....well Wavers, the Creative Screenwriting Expo is finally over. Because the Wave-inatrix is always working for you, 24/7, I managed to get several of the guest speakers interested in writing guest blogs in the upcoming weeks. So we can look forward to some expert view points and unique angles from some of the Rouge Wave's new friends very soon.

I have a utopian vision of a blog so darn entertaining that Wavers need smelling salts to break the hypnotic spell. Reading the Rouge Wave will be like lying down in a field of poppies on a spring day. Like falling into a warm vat of chocolate syrup. Like getting a massage while eating caviar. Like - okay I'm too exhausted to come up with anything else than that The Rouge Wave and The Script Whisperer are just so lucky, honored and grateful to have been asked to take part in such a cool event for screenwriters. I met hundreds of writers. I heard all kinds of pitches. I bonded with other consultants and vendors in the exhibitor's hall. I watched SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS about 8,000 times. I got free boxed lunch. I talked to people from all over the world. It was wonderful.

I said it on the podium as I presented an award and I'll say it now - thank god for the passion and the drive and the creativity of writers - because you guys make my day every single day. How many people absolutely love their jobs?

Upward and onward, shall we? I will post the top three Halloween short scenes this Wednesday, on Halloween, natch. So be ready to vote for the number one short Halloween scene, Wavers.

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Live From the Creative Screenwriting Expo

The Expo is reaching a fever point; my candy jar is almost empty. People are coming to the Script Whisperer booth just for the candy at this point. This could grow into a hostage situation.

Items of Interest:

*Carny guy has only done his thing once so far today, thank the goddess. The guest speakers, having finished their gigs are beginning to circulate among the general population.

*The social fabric is beginning to break down in the Exhibition Area; vendors are starting to socialize with writers.

*the air conditioning is taking a toll on everyone, with immune systems plumetting and scratchy throats reigning.

*Big speaker today - Scott Frank. He has not co-mingled with the general population yet.

*Comedy night at the networking party last night was so loud and abrasive that most revelers wound up in the hallway.

*Stewart the security guy gave the Wave-inatrix a free lunch. If you don't have a free lunch pass the lunch, which consists of a piece of fruit, a sandwich and a bag of Lays chips costs $19.95.

Well, Wavers, that's enough for now. The farewell party is soon and the Wave-inatrix will be belly up to the bar for a well deserved extra dry martini with extra olives.

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Halloween Short Scene Competition UPDATE

Wavers, the short scenes are flooding in and it will be tough to choose the top three. On top of all this excitement, the The Great American Pitchfest has donated Michael Hauge's latest book Selling Your Story in 60 Seconds as one of the prizes. So rush those entries in ASAP.

Stay tuned for more news from The Creative Screenwriting Expo...

ADDITIONAL UPDATE: short scene deadline extended until Tuesday the 30th due to an avalanche of submissions.

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Live From the Creative Screenwriting Expo

Hello, Wavers! Still at the buzzing center of over 3,500 aspiring writers here at the Expo. Seth Rogen is scheduled to speak shortly. I expect we exhibitors will be left in our ballroom with only the sound of the air conditioner to entertain us.

Interesting items:

*Carny barker guy still doing his thing every 90 minutes. All booths opposite his are gathering for a meeting later to decide how and when to off him and make it stop.

*Magicians at party last night used lighter fluid as prop. Nobody was hurt but I did smell singed hair.

*Marc Zicree just came by the Script Whisperer booth and chatted. What a nice man.

*Cinestory brought their own couches and chairs and have a lounge instead of a booth. All booths opposite theirs are gathering later to decide how and when to off them and make it stop.

*Am told I should not knit during the down times because then men will not want to use my service.

*The Great American Pitchfest just stopped by the booth and left behind a huge basket of Famous Amos cookies. Tired writers are now getting their 3rd wind, fueled by sugar and caffeine. I hid the basket - it's getting ugly.

*Only 3 out of 10 passersby recognize SULLIVAN'S TRAVELS, the movie playing at my booth.

*Guesses for the number of brads in the fishbowl at my booth have ranged from 3,500 to 291. The prize for the closest guesser is pretty generous but writers obviously can't count. Booths opposite mine have plied me for answers continuously then they all disappeared for awhile. Huh.

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One More Time, with Feeling.

By Margaux Froley Outhred

The Rouge Wave/Script Whisperer Team is off the the Screenwriters Expo this week. I'll be at a networking party tonight meeting new writers and colleagues. I'll be wearing a purple jacket if any of you are out and about the Expo tonight...always love meeting Rouge Wavers.

I recently finished a script and am now tackling the difficult task of thinking, Now what? I’ve received notes, completed a rewrite, and feel confident enough to put that script aside and move onto the next project. But, which one? And that’s assuming I have the luxury of an abundance of ideas at the moment. So I found myself doing what any other writer might do with trying to come up with an idea quickly….I read a book about writing. Great distraction: claim I’m honing my craft; buy some time to hope a descent nugget of an idea springs to mind in the meantime. And luckily I learned something. (whew.)

This book encouraged me to mine my personal experiences to find material to write about. That’s the obvious part, bear with me a second longer. The thing that was new was once I picked an experience, I was supposed to write an image from that experience in the middle of my page and then circle it. This was the trick…don’t write down the story of what happened, right down the image that comes to mind first. This whole exercise is about capturing the sensory experience of something, and by doing that I found that I could depict a potentially universal emotional moment without resorting to tried and true clichéd images. How many more times do we need to see depressed women eat ice cream out of the carton? Or quirky lovebirds meet by spilling coffee on each other?

I heard a story years ago about a screenwriter and his girlfriend. They went to the premier of his big new movie and there on the screen, in a tender moment between the male and female leads, was the same tender moment she had shared with the screenwriter boyfriend. My first instinct was, good for the writer for recognizing a tender REAL moment when he had one, and then I thought, ohhhh, he should have told her he borrowed from their life to make a buck. But, again, it is these small moments that really happen between human beings that make help movies touch and inspire audiences around the world. (And this film, did very well internationally too.)

The ability to make the universal relatable is a very tough skill, but one that screenwriters must master if they want to connect with their audience. And really, the key to that is finding these original moments, they don’t all have to be tender ones, that can take an audience into the world you are creating. Shane Black did it in the first DIE HARD script. When he made a barefoot Bruce Willis walk across an office covered in broken glass, the audience felt that. It wasn’t just a good plot point, it was a visceral experience for everyone. Both of the moments I’ve used as examples here were part of tremendously successful action films; how crazy (or maybe tremendously indicative of my point here) that these small moments can give depth to movies that hinge their entertainment value on explosions and stunts. Stunts and explosions are only fun if we have some investment in the characters who are doing them. If we, as writers can tap into that human experience, our human experience, even the smallest of moments specific to us, we can make them seem universal. Just don’t forget to tell your girlfriend.

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Creative Screenwriting Expo

Dearest Wavers, the Wave-inatrix will be at the Creative Screenwriting Expo for the next several days, representing The Script Whisperer, The Rouge Wave, and all things cupcake. I shall try to send missives about the event as I am able.

Halloween short scene submissions have been coming in furiously - the deadline is the 28th but do try to finish yours up and submit ASAP

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Ouch

....we have discussed painful rejections before on the Rouge Wave but this one takes the cake. Well, it's not actually a rejection, it's a review. And it is creating small shock waves in the literary world because it was - well - a drubbing. It got personal. It was mean. But (insert very small voice here) damn, it was entertaining.

Those Rouge Wavers who follow literary reviews have probably already seen Lee Siegel's review of Alice Sebold's new novel, The Almost Moon. It is a splatter fest. Here are three excerpts:

"Sebold sashays blithely from ludicrous descriptions of sex....to ridiculous shifts in tone."

eh, a bit snarky but check this out:

"There is no plot in this novel. It is all free disassociation."

wow. but then - the closer:

"After you've finished this insult to the lumber industry, your health care provider won't cover your search for a cure."

So - what do Wavers think? It is okay that the New York Times, a venerated institution, published a review that crossed the line into mockery? Where is that line? Are book reviews meant to entertain as well as inform? Did Siegel cross the line?

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Don't Throw it Away

One would think that a "throw away" is a small joke or just a line of dialogue that is completely disposable. But nothing in your script should be disposable. Every word is there for a reason. Every. Word. Does your character crack a little joke on their way out the door? Then make it funny, make it memorable and make it matter. What do I mean by make it matter? Make it connect to the DNA of your script - the theme.

Learn to recognize a throw away and learn to walk away from them without emotion. Soon, as your experience as a writer grows, you'll learn the difference between a sly witticism, a clever remark or pithily profound statement that is deeply connected to the theme of your story - and a fluffy throw away that may or may not be funny or meaningful whatsoever. If you swatted a fly over that line of dialogue, unless it was BRAZIL, would it matter?

Check out these movie bon mots - do you recognize their source? Sure you do. Because they are memorable.

...we're gonna need a bigger boat.

...I'll have what she's having.

...I've been slimed.

....Here's Johnny!

....the shoe! the shoe!

...well, snap out of it!

...I like to watch.

...Attica! Attica!

The first Rouge Waver to identify the source of all eight examples wins a free cupcake. I really mean it this time. You have to live in LA and you have to take me with you but we'll go have a cupcake and come up with some sugar-induced zingers.

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Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Great.

By Andrew Zinnes

Irascible. It’s a great word. Easily provoked to anger. Testy. Touchy. Short-tempered. I can get down with irascible for as I mentioned in my The Waiting is the Hardest Part blog, I’m an Aries and patience, well, that virtue never made it to my brain.

Irascible. It’s what my uncle would’ve called a $20 word. As in “that word cost $20 of your education!” It’s a big word; a word that someone who knows words would use. Someone like a writer.

I’m only getting on this soapbox because I just put down a screenplay that had so many $20 words in it I thought it was either the author trying to show us how smart he is or reminding us of sure fire winners in Scrabble. My guess is that it was the former. Irascible was the one that stuck out the most to me because that’s how I felt after I read it.

But here’s the problem – humans rarely use a word like that in everyday speech. In fact, if you listen to a normal conversation between two people most of the words would either be one or two syllables in length. It is only when we are being expository like giving directions or discussing something incredibly specific that we start to crank out the dictionary and thesaurus. And since the best dialogue sounds as if it is coming from a live human being, the words that your characters should use should mostly contain one and two syllable words. It’s been said that most screenplays are written on a 5th grade reading level and this is exactly why.

Now you can throw a big word in there every now and again, but as in real life, when someone goes for the $20 word, those listening remark on it in some way. For example, take THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION. There is a moment when Andy DuFresne learns that there is evidence that supports his innocence claim and he tells the warden about it. The warder shines him on stating there’s no point in checking – it’s a waste of time. Andy calls the warden “obtuse” and gets thrown in the hole for two months to think about his impertinence. At the halfway point of his sentence, the warden comes into the hole to tell Andy that his young protégé has been killed and that the scams will continue or else Andy will have all his privileges revoked. “Are you getting my drift? Or am I being obtuse?” the warden smugly replies. He’s thrown the big word back in Andy’s face because he wants him to know he’s just as smart as Mr. Dufrense – and it works brilliantly.

Please remember, I am not advocating dumbing down your screenplay in terms of plot or character development. I am merely saying that much can be done to convey intelligence through the reality of who we are.

All of this reminds me of the best exercise I ever had in film school. We were told to go to a local café and eavesdrop on others’ conversations. You learn tons about vocabulary, slang, intonation and subtext doing that. You also learn how freaky people are - including yourself. Try it, but don’t get sanctimonious or pietistic doing it.

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Shrimp-on-a-Stick

My SW partner Margaux and I attended the annual Final Draft party last evening and here are the tidbits I can share - the other stuff - well, what happens at the annual FD party stays at the - oh I can't even muster the strength to summon that stale joke.

Some musician: If I pay ten dollars for a movie, something better blow up!

The writer of a movie you may or may not have seen: Character arc is simple. On page one, your character gets out of bed and kicks his dog. You don't need ten pages of set up.

A Doctor: Look, you may not want to hear this but this writer's strike makes no sense to me. It's baloney. If I buy something at the store, do I have to continue to pay for it every time I use it?

Nearby partygoer: Hey, if you rent out Uhauls, you get paid every time it's used, don't you?

The Doctor: But producers take all the risk. It's baloney.

The guest of honor was Oliver Stone, who made a brief acceptance speech for his Lifetime Achievement Award and who likened being a writer to building a ship and setting off into the open ocean for adventures unknown. He was eloquent and the audience was rapt. Stories, Stone went on, never end. You put them down for awhile and return to them and because you have changed - the story changes too. Lovely speech. And yeah I think he totally was hitting on the presenter girl. But you know. It's Hollywood.

Being that drinks were free, the noise level in the bar area was comparable to maybe lying on your back under a 747 on the runway. My ears are still ringing.

Antwone Fisher presented an award to the first place winning script in the Final Draft Big Break competition and the winner beamed. The kid won fifteen grand - I'd be beaming too!

Drinks were free but parking was outrageously expensive. Platters of impossibly tiny "appetizers" spun continuously through the crowd on the spindly arms of smiling "servers". As far as I could tell, each appetizer was just another version of the one before it. A cracker about the size of a quarter (seriously, I'm not kidding) with a dollop of pink or green stuff on it. Pink being "salmon" and the green being "spinach". Also little sticks with impaled shrimp.

I met a talent manager who by all appearances looked to be 17 year old (seriously, I am not kidding) and there were some young ladies who were egregiously under-dressed. But hey, this is Hollywood, right?

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Halloween Scene Competition

REMINDER

The Pumpkin, Paradox, Periwinkle Short Scene Competition

Rules

Write a one-page scene using the words pumpkin, paradox and periwinkle anywhere in the scene. Make the scene Halloween-themed, any genre. Could be funny, could be terrifying, could be poignant. But you have one page and you must use those three words anywhere within that scene.

Format

PDF or Final Draft is preferred but the Wave-inatrix is a softie at heart and anything short of a crumpled receipt will be reviewed.

Deadline

Please submit your scene HERE by Sunday, October 28th. On Monday the 29th, I will post the top three finalists and in a Rouge Wave tradition - Rouge Wavers will vote for the winner.

Lots of Prizes!

A $25 gift certificate to a choice of: the Landmark or AMC theaters

A $10 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble or Amazon

A 25% gift certificate toward any Script Whisperer service. (offer expires November 15th)

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Losing My Religion

Losing my religion is an idiom which "...is an expression from the southern region of the United States, and means losing one's temper or civility, or "flying off the handle" according to Wikipedia and we all know that the Wiki is generally 82.5% mostly accurate.

Just for fun, since we're on the topic of language, the definition of idiom is:

1. A speech form or an expression of a given language that is peculiar to itself grammatically or cannot be understood from the individual meanings of its elements, as in keep tabs on.
2. The specific grammatical, syntactic, and structural character of a given language.
3. Regional speech or dialect.
4. 1. A specialized vocabulary used by a group of people; jargon: legal idiom.
   2. A style or manner of expression peculiar to a given people: "Also important is the uneasiness I've always felt at cutting myself off from my idiom, the American habits of speech and jest and reaction, all of them entirely different from the local variety" (S.J. Perelman).
5. A style of artistic expression characteristic of a particular individual, school, period, or medium: the idiom of the French impressionists; the punk rock idiom.

But I digress entirely. Why is there a picture of Medusa in a blog entry about language? Well, I'll tell ya. The Wave-inatrix is by nature a mellow gal with a great sense of humor. I love a good old-fashioned flub up in a script. It lightens my mood and reminds me that we can't take this life all that seriously.

But laziness, sloppiness and ineptitude, not just once but all over a script, well, I kind of go nuts. I guess I consider myself one of the last bastions of proper language usage. Don't get me wrong - I'm mad cool, I'm hip to it, I can get down with the latest dope expressions - but improper usage - it's just so whack. The long and short of it is that if you are writing a script - work with me people - perhaps you should make the time and effort to use the language correctly. But maybe it's just me.

Hey, education is an ongoing thing. So in that spirit, here are a few malaprops that just for the record, make my sense of humor puddle around my ankles and snakes writhe from my head. Just FYI.

It's HEAR HEAR - not HERE HERE

From Wikipedia:

Hear hear is an expression that originated as hear ye, or hear him, usually repeated. This imperative was used to call attention to a speaker's words, and naturally developed the sense of a broad expression of favour. This is how it is still used today, although one can always vary one's tone to express different sentiments; the Oxford English Dictionary noted around the turn of the century that the phrase is now the regular form of cheering in the House of Commons, and expresses, according to intonation, admiration, acquiescence, indignation, derision, etc.

Don't ask me why but get this straight: blond is for a boy, blonde is for a girl.

You take a breath. But I ask you if you can breathe. You do not take a breathe.

It's shudder. He shuddered when he heard the news. Shutters are something you close against rain.

A person bawls when they cry. Someone might be bawling. Not balling.

It's DUCT tape, people, DUCT – not…oh the inhumanity…duck tape.

The man was supposed to stop at the drug store. NOT the man was suppose to stop at the drug store.

And for once and for all, it's whipped cream, not whip cream. You whip it. So once it is whipped, it is WHIPPED CREAM. Oh god, I'm getting an eye twitch.

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For the Love of the Movie Picture Show

The latest issue of Creative Screenwriting rolled out a list of genres that are “dead” in the spec market:

The Mob Movie
The Western
Fantasy
Sports
The Female Driven Rom-Com
Scripts Based on the Movie Industry
Ensemble Dramas
Period Pieces
Animation

So – what do you do if your spec is in one of these categories? Switch genres? Throw it in the trash? Give up and go home? What about the strike – should you throw in the towel?

For as long as there have been movies, there have been circumstances – economic, political and social - that have affected the lives and creative choices of writers. Um, black list anyone?

So what is an aspiring writer to do? Two words: keep writing.

A few years ago, my best friend and I took a road trip through Tennessee and Kentucky. We went to Graceland, Dollywood, Memphis and Chattanooga. Good times. But dang, the road signs in that part of the countryside are effed up. The Rand McNally instructions said one thing but the road signs said something altogether different – every time. We developed a mantra: ignore it. But Angie, that sign just said turn right on Route 9! Ignore it. And by following our Rand McNally we got where we needed to go. So long as we ignored the bullet hole ridden signs and stayed our previously charted course. Is this a huge oversimplification which also contains an Southern stereotype? Sure. I’m no Dalai Lama – but there’s a grain of truth too.

Stay your course. If you’re writing a western right now – finish writing your script and make it the best damn western ever. Ditto your animated sports fantasy. Be realistic – if the current trends are not favoring certain genres – yes, you should have your ear to the rail and write for the market. But don’t walk away from what you’ve already started and don’t forget that it is entirely possible that a few months from now some female driven romcom could burst onto the scene and turn that conventional wisdom on its head. As they say, if everyone knew what would be a hit movie – every movie would be a hit. The public is mercurial but one fact remains the same: we humans love a good yarn.

Last weekend I saw a movie that probably shouldn’t have been made. It was cerebral, talky, had tons of voice over and a complicated, morally ambiguous main character. Yet you could have heard a pin drop in the theater, so engrossed was the packed audience. MICHAEL CLAYTON is not, on the surface, a movie that should be particularly successful based on the concept alone. But it was written by Tony Gilroy of the Bourne franchise. And starred George Clooney of the George Clooney franchise. And it was a brilliant movie that made eleven million dollars last weekend.

By all accounts, ISHTAR should have been a runaway hit. So nobody knows anything. And you can take that to the bank.

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Who's the Star?

“First she steals my publicity. Then she steals my lawyer, my trial date. And now she steals my damn garter.”

By Margaux Froley Outhred

You know you have a problem when Laurie Metcalf steals your show. I caught a few minutes of BIG BANG THEORY tonight, and while I admit to having what could be a premature assumption, in those few short minutes, Laurie Metcalf, who is not a regular cast member, stole the show from the two geeky male leads. (And, btw, I have nothing against Laurie Metcalf and think she’s quite talented, but she is not supposed to run away with this sitcom.)

Although this might be a random occurrence, it’s a persistent issue with new writers in both TV and film. As a general rule, the star of your movie or TV show is just that, your star. Being a writer who is theoretically writing pieces that stars want to act in, your job is to make your work castable. So what does that mean when your supporting, or guest starring characters steal the show? It probably means you left your main characters hanging.

In other words, if the studio paid Julia Roberts for a lead role, she better have lead role material in front of her. Ever since PULP FICTION, and the Tarantino-esque art of characters taking up screen time talking about nothing, the scripted world has been inundated with quirky side characters that steal the show from the more serious plot-carrying leads. For the Academy Awards, in the Supporting Actor or Actress category, I always ask myself, was the movie boring without that supporting character on screen? In most cases, yes…that supporting role stole the show. Jennifer Hudson certainly stole the limelight from Beyonce. Was that Beyonce being a poor actress, or really smart marketing on the studio’s part? Jennifer Hudson’s role carried the only story in DREAMGIRLS, so maybe technically she might have been the lead in the story. In CHICAGO, Catherine Zeta Jones stole the show, and Oscar, from Renee Zellweger, not because the story favored her more than Renee, she had the juicer role in the movie.

My theory is that in award-winning Supporting Actor or Actress circumstances, you won’t see a Best Actor or Actress win for the same project. Generally, if you give your supporting cast all the good bits, what have you left for your leads? It’s a slippery trap to fall into, but one worth trying to avoid. The only exception to this rule I could find was for MYSTIC RIVER when Tim Robbins won for Supporting Actor, and Sean Penn also won his Lead Actor Oscar.

For young writers, the tendency is to use your supporting characters for comic relief, or have them carry a quirky B-story. Fair enough, just make sure to balance that out so your leads aren’t always the straight men to their co-stars. In television specs, one of the biggest mistakes writers make is inventing a guest star that leaves your main characters in the dust. Writing in a character’s crazy Aunt Bea or long lost, quirky sister, will count against a writer trying to break in because it does not prove that a writer can utilize existing lead characters.

Don’t forget, while entertaining characters should always be the goal, your supporting characters should do just that, support your lead actors.

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Malapropalooza

You've waited, you've wondered, you've written the Wave-inatrix asking - when will we have another good old fashioned malapropalooza day on the Rouge Wave?

Well, Wavers, today is your lucky day; we at the Rouge Wave are privileged to be joined by the extraordinarily gifted Christina Hamlett who also just so happens to share my sense of humor and perhaps more importantly - my love of writers, of story, and of a good malaprop to lighten the day.

So without further ado, from the vaults of Ms. Christina Hamlett, the Rouge Wave presents:

1. Suddenly the door opened slowly.

2. As the expedition neared the campsite, Helena suddenly screamed. There, in the clearing, lay a poached rhino.

3. Margaret blanched aggressively.

4. A menacing voice suddenly came from Rodney's rear.

5. Peter's face descended into perfect blankness.

6. Greg's eyes fell to Sue's ankles and followed her out the door.

**Disclaimer**
Long time readers of the Rouge Wave know that the Wave-inatrix uses the term malaprop loosely to encompass both a real, live malaprop or just any use of the language that is inadvertently funny. Examples are always anonymous and changed up just the slightest bit for the sake of the writer.

Some weeks ago, one Perturbed Rouge Waver wrote in:

Dear Wave-inatrix, these malaprops are not very nice! Pulling words out of context isn't fair!

To which I replied:

Dear Perturbed, even in context these examples were wrong and more importantly - lighten up. Malapropalooza is meant in fun. You should be so lucky as to have your malaprop in the Rouge Wave. I love them.

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Reminders

There are only a couple of spots left for the Documentary Film Maker's Course hosted here in Los Angeles by our very own Andrew Zinnes, so check it out and see if you can squeeze in.

Also, I have already received a fair number of Pumpkin, Paradox, Periwinkle scene competition submissions so don't be left in the dust - do some writing this weekend!

We have another Malapropalooza coming up here at the Rouge Wave so don't forget to proofread, Wavers, lest you be included - which is not such a horrible thing - we all need to lighten up and have a laugh, yes?

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Great Class

Dear Rouge Wavers - Jim Mercurio is a good friend of mine; I have known Jim for many years and I have to say, he's pretty darn good at what he does. I thought I'd mention an opportunity coming up to learn from him:

KILLER SCREENWRITING
40+ Hour Interactive Workshop

Become a better screenwriter in one week!

Jim Mercurio jam-packs a semester of screenwriting into a living and breathing interactive work of art and education. Participants' script pages will be part of class text and will inspire and complement the film clips, excerpts and lecture. The class will adapt to the students and accelerate their growth as screenwriters.

Actors workshop everyone's scenes and one will be shot/edited. Jim's insight will make your jokes funnier, dialogue sharper, conflict more specific, theme more coherent and your script a better read.

October 29 - Nov 2 (Starts day after Expo) - 20 student limit
For information: http://jamespmercurio.com/classes.html

"Having been world-class in another field, I know it when I see it: Jim's mentoring is world-class."...Wayne Chiang,1999 StarCraft World Champion

Jim produced Hard Scrambled and was a Creative Screenwriting columnist. YouTube him to see him teach filmmaking. E-mail him: jim@jamespmercurio.com.

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The Waiting is the Hardest Part

by Andrew Zinnes

Man, Tom Petty gets to the heart of things so easily doesn’t he? Waiting…not the easiest thing for this Aries to handle and yet so integral to writing. Waiting for inspiration. Waiting for the printer to spit out your script. Waiting to get a response from readers/production co.’s/studios. And what has been sticking in my craw for the last few months: waiting for the deal to close.

Back in July, I entered into negotiations to write a script for a couple of producers and as of this afternoon, the deal remains half completed. As a creative person, all you want to do is write. Especially in this case; we had to do a fair amount creative thinking to generate a story that got the production company to say yes. At that point, both sides got excited. This could be a good movie! Both sides want to go to draft. Both sides can’t wait to see the finished product. This is part of the juice that we all crave. But it can’t happen. Not until the deal closes. And typically speaking deals move at glacial speeds.

So why does it take so long? First, your reps have to negotiate deal points and money with their business affairs people, which can take as little as a week to several months. Then the deal has to be papered – literally written out followed by more back and forth to get the language correct. This could take months, too. Finally, you get the call to sign the deal and once you do, then you can commence writing and even better, money starts to flow your way. Studios seem to have a two-week schedule for paying after you sign. Oh, make sure the agreement states that the deal goes into effect once YOU’VE signed, not when both have signed. That contract will sit around for a few more weeks until their rubber stamp comes out and you don’t want to be waiting even longer.

If both sides want the deal, then why can’t they speed things up? Well, the finger usually gets pointed at the business affairs department of the paying company. But to be fair, these people (who are mostly lawyers) are generally overworked and get the brunt of everyone’s ire because the creative side moves so much faster and wants the deal closed immediately. Plus they typically work on sometimes a dozen deals at the same time, which I’m sure is a bit of a head screw. And if they don’t get things right and the company gets screwed, guess who’s ass is on the line. Now imagine that pressure combined with everyone yelling at you all day long to close their deal NOW! That would make me reach for the Rolaids. In the long run, their due diligence means that you typically get a better deal should your project actually go forward.

But that doesn’t mean it’s not uber-painful sitting around waiting for that call that says, “It’s done. You can start writing now. And the check should be here in tomorrow.”

So I guess the lesson here is that if you are fortunate enough to get into a deal with someone, don’t go out and spend like there’s no tomorrow - for tomorrow no check will be coming. Try and be patient. Try to get your mind off of it by keeping busy with other things. That’s what I’m desperately attempting to do as I sit here trying to not wait for the phone to ring. Though, ironically, I’m working on other projects that, once written, shall go out into the world and create a new cycle of waiting.

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Halloween Scene Competition!

Well Wavers, we've done Magnanimous Feet and we've done Whiskey, Tango Foxtrot - but Halloween approaches and it's time to roll out yet another completely ridiculous, just-for-fun scene competition. After all, writing is supposed to be fun, right? And Wavers need to know how to write on assignment. So here goes:

The Pumpkin, Paradox, Periwinkle Short Scene Competition

Rules

Write a one-page scene using the words pumpkin, paradox and periwinkle anywhere in the scene. Make the scene Halloween-themed, any genre. Could be funny, could be terrifying, could be poignant. But you have one page and you must use those three words anywhere within that scene.

Format

PDF or Final Draft is preferred but the Wave-inatrix is a softie at heart and anything short of a crumpled receipt will be reviewed.

Deadline

Please submit your scene HERE by Sunday, October 28th. On Monday the 29th, I will post the top three finalists and in a Rouge Wave tradition - Rouge Wavers will vote for the winner.

Lots of Prizes!

A $25 gift certificate to a choice of: the Landmark or AMC theaters

A $10 gift certificate to Barnes & Noble or Amazon

A 25% gift certificate toward any Script Whisperer service. (offer expires November 15th)

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The Season of Fear

The season is upon us, fellow Wavers. The Wave-inatrix was just talking about film genre conventions, and her timing was perfect because what does October always bring movie fans? A variety of horror and thriller movies to kick off the creepy season.
The question is, which one will get us into those seats with flashy trailers that give away the whole movie, and which ones will deliver the goods to keep you entertained?

It’s a great time to watch studios competing for those coveted 18-34 adult dollars, and they’re all competing with the promise of a scare and a thrill. Similar to writing that eye-catching, totally original script, what does each Halloween fright flick do differently? If your script was put into a sea of other thriller films, or into happy waters filled with other romantic comedies, how does your script stand out from the pack?

The Wave-inatrix pointed out tried and true conventions of different genres, but this is a great time to see how different conventions can be twisted and exploited to give their genre another layer. After all, it’s how your movie differs from the pack that gets it noticed. While some of this might tie into how different movies are marketed, at the end of the day, the film itself needs to hold up to the scrutiny. Some do, and some definitely don’t.

BLAIR WITCH PROJECT did. Terrific, and really a great example of early internet marketing, the film itself told a story (a classic horror story) with a documentary style and perspective.

SHAUN OF THE DEAD, a brilliant twist on the classic zombie pic. (Seriously, this is a must see for all of you looking to subvert a genre.)

SAW: Maybe the first one did it. I personally have never found that any of these films bring something new to the genre. But, consecutive box office success proves I might not know what I’m talking about.

SKINWALKERS came and went. Did anyone see it? Wonder what they did wrong that it needed to be released mid-August? That's like the studio trying to dump the Christmas flop SURVIVING CHRISTMAS in late October. It's a sure sign that something isn't good enough to stand up to the seasonal competition.

Any way you slice ‘em and dice ‘em, these October fright pics are always a great time to see which films will rise to the occasion. Will yours?

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Conventions

What are movie conventions? Well, another way of saying that is expectations of a genre. For example - and this is inspired by a funny conversation on a message board recently about horror films – it is a convention of horror films that a group of teenagers arrive at the haunted road/farm/castle/house for some kind of trip and it is they who get picked off one by one. In other words, we have not seen a busload of senior citizens go through this –no, it’s always teens or college kids. It’s a convention. Audiences expect it.

Well, let me waffle a little bit on that one: that a group of strangers (innocents, tourists, somebody random) stumbles into a heretofore cursed or haunted place is a convention. That they are teenagers is a cliche. Do Wavers see the not so subtle difference?

Moving forward with another example, is a convention of horror movies that the cabin is located by a lake. Or that the motel is empty and the guy behind the counter is either creepy or preternaturally cheerful.

It is a convention of romantic comedies that boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. It is a convention of westerns that a bad guy blows into town and the good guy has to take him out and protect the town. It is a convention of action movies that the hero is some kind of outsider or underdog who just happens to be really good at fighting crazy terrorists. Yippy ki yay mother bleepers.

You see the trends here. Now, here’s the tricky thing about conventions. You need to know what they are – and you do, even if subconsciously – but you also need to subvert them so that your script stands out from other scripts.

In other words – think of the Rubik’s Cube. If you have, say, a horror convention like the “pop-out” moment – well, the convention goes like this:

Character hears weird sound or sees something out of corner of their eye.
Character investigates – big, long, scary silence – and – nothing is there.
Audience breathes sigh of relief.
Character turns around and – HOLY BLEEP! THERE IT IS!!

That’s a good old fashioned pop-out moment. Now, if you write a horror script devoid of the pop-out, well, it’s not going to go over very well. Because that is a convention of the genre. People expect it, in other words. But, how about writing a pop-out that honors the convention and then takes it to another level? Making the audience wait through not one but two false alarms isn’t that original. Been there done that. But in the Japanese horror movie JUON (THE GRUDGE was the American remake) there were plenty of pop-out moments but what was fun and unconventional is that some of them were memorably in broad daylight in a public place. Now THAT turned the convention on its head. It met the expectation but then changed it up just enough to be familiar AND different at the same time. And, that, Wavers is the bottom line of what you need to know about convention.

THE RING had some pop-out moments and they weren’t that unconventional but the movie also had a completely unconventional evil creature because she crawled OUT of the television!! I mean, that is one memorable horror monster, right? Nobody had done that before. So THE RING satisfied convention and expectation but it took it to another level completely.

A convention that is a lot of fun to think about is the “cute meet” in romcom. You can gather what cute meet means – it’s right there in the words – but clearly there are thousands of permutations of what constitutes a cute meet. There are thousands of permutations of what a rebellious, down-and-out action picture hero might be like.

You have your movie conventions down cold right now – because you see movies all the time. You consciously and unconsciously know right when the music is going to swell, when the sweeping vista of the family ranch is going to appear, when the bad guy is going to kick the door open and when the madly in love couple is going to have an ugly fight. You know it because you’ve seen these conventions millions of times. We need conventions in movies; they give us the milestones of the story. But as writers, we need to both know them and then use them as jumping off points. Because if you a good enough writer to take convention to the next level – you are a good enough writer to get noticed.

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The Rouge Wave Mailbag

I.M. Anonymous left a comment on yesterday's blog post that I thought was worthy of discussion. I.M. says:

I find it terribly ironic that a "writer" (like you) is so pro censorship that they have to "approve" commentary before "allowing" it to this blog...it's an interesting way to encourage discourse.

And here's my response:

First of all, I.M., thank you for your comments. Here's the way I look at it. The Rouge Wave is my blog, not a venue for back and forth discourse in the same way that a message board forum is.

The Rouge Wave is to read and enjoy. I work hard to provide content as regularly as I can, within the constraints of my other obligations (work, family, you know the drill). I often have to do it late at night or ahead of time so that I can maintain content for my readers. It's something I love to do; it's a passion project.

If a reader wants to contribute to the conversation by leaving a constructive comment then great; but if someone is here to argue and get personal, they can go to a message board and join the other trolls.

I am the editor-in-chief (ha) and yes, I do reserve the right to moderate my own blog. Truth be told, I have only had about two comments in the past several months that were unconstructive or rude. But I'd like to keep it that way. So yes, I do approve comments.

I hope that answers your question.

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Pull My Finger: Comedy so Funny it Hurts

By Margaux Froley Outhred

Sounds like the ad for CBS’ Monday night line-up, doesn’t it? What is it about comedy that is intrinsically painful? And, the more painful, often the funnier it is. But, how do you know where to draw that line between tragically funny, to just plain tragic? I’ve been working on writing funnier jokes and creating funny characters, and it almost seems unfair that I am mining my own and my friends’ personal sob stories in order to give these characters comedic dilemmas. Unfair, or maybe just good research?

America’s Funniest Home Videos,… the amount of babies taking a baseball bat to their father’s crotches has never stopped making audiences guffaw. Or someone slipping on a banana peel; that will always be hilarious. No one stops to watch the home movies when Dad is rushed to the hospital and will never pee standing up again. Or when the banana man fractures a vertebra on his pratfall down. We don’t want reality, we need to laugh at reality. Look it right in the face and throw a big creamy pie right at the real world.

A friend of mine got some bad news this morning, and I tried to comfort her by saying in 5 years she will find this situation funny. Maybe not now, but with a little perspective the emotional sting will wear down and you’ll see how futile all this stressing is. Maybe it’s the inner Buddhist in me, or just pure escapism, but if we can’t laugh at the things that don’t work out in our life, then we’ve got to find a way to. But, my own personal philosophy aside, why is the tragic so funny?

Lately, it seems that comedy in general is having a tough life. Stand-up comedians can’t tell jokes without being picked apart or called traitors to their country. 2 and a Half Men is one of the most watched comedies on television. When did Charlie Sheen really become funny? I don’t buy it.

Feature comedies are tough sells these days too. While Judd Apatow’s raw humor made KNOCKED UP and SUPERBAD the hilarious pics they were, a comic god like Steve Carrell drowned in EVAN ALMIGHTY, the most expensive comedy ever made (and probably one of the biggest flops of 2007). And in the development world? No one is really sure what is funny anymore. Kevin James seems to be the Development world’s answer to funny for now. The new TV comedies didn’t make me laugh once (Sorry, CARPOOLERS). Thankfully 30 ROCK and THE OFFICE can reclaim their comedy thrones for another year. But, sadly, no one wants to buy comedy because they just don’t know if they can guarantee it will be funny. I guess development execs feel the fear of their corporate bosses more than they can laugh at a good joke.

While there is always the Monty Python school of random acts as comedy, it seems that audiences enjoy the tragically funny. Why? Because they can relate to it. All the bad dates from SEX AND THE CITY? Those came from someone’s terrible first date, or awkward sexual experiences. SUPERBAD and KNOCKED UP did a great job with making those jokes relatable, although at times somewhat harsh. So, Wavers, if you are looking for a funny joke here, or a comedic setpiece there, the question is, do you buy it? (Granted tone and style of your piece should weigh heavily in this decision.) But, do you believe that this event could happen, and is just horrible enough that it could possibly be funny? The tragedy of things might become great inspiration for the comedy they could become.

Mel Brooks once said: Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

The two masks of theater are made up of one portraying tragedy and one portraying comedy. What if the two are more closely linked than you may think? Maybe those Greeks were onto something.

More wisdom from Mel Brooks

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Moving Parts

Scripts are a little like Rubik’s cubes. There are different elements and when you move or change one element, everything else follows. Here’s the fun part – these moveable parts are yours to arrange and rearrange until you find something that really clicks for you as a writer and for the material.

In other words, particularly if you’re stuck on a premise or your script just isn’t working. Throw all rules and judgment out the window and ask that script some questions as a way of jogging your creativity.

Is this a western?
Is this a science-fiction story?
Is this set during the Civil War?
Maybe the Civil Rights period?
Is this set in Mississippi – or Alaska?
Is my main character the opposite gender?
Is the beginning of my movie actually the end? Should I reorder the narrative?
Maybe my movie is set just before a real-life disaster? (Katrina? The Challenger explosion? 9/11?)
Or AFTER some fictionalized event: a flood, an election, a murder…
Maybe my antagonist is actually my main character?

In other words, shifting genre, main characters, time periods and events surrounding your story can suddenly shed new light. Don’t be afraid to click different elements in and out of place. I have literally seen writers emerge from a brainstorming session completely excited because when they did this exercise they suddenly got it – the thing that was missing – because they were able to throw everything out the window and just spitball their story and characters until something that had never occurred to them before suddenly made perfect sense.

So if you’re stuck, roll up your sleeves, take a deep breath and simply mess with your story. Ask it all kinds of questions. Go big. And you might just find the solution – and inspiration – to get you unstuck. Do it with a sense of playfulness because never forget, Wavers, this is supposed to be fun. We’re making up stories here, people, not solving prison over-crowding. So let loose with that imagination – don’t be trapped by a story of your own making.

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When Good Characters Do Dumb Things

Once in awhile I see scripts in which characters do unbelievably dumb things. Like go down into the basement to check on that weird sound they just heard. Or keep their back to a window as they discuss the weird sound they just heard outside [insert crashing glass and bloody screams here]. Or opening the door two minutes after a crank phone call had been received. It’s moments like these when I think – does your character ever GO to the movies?? Come on!!

So just a little something to bear in mind – make sure to write your moments very organically for your character so that they appear to have a three-dimensional consciousness and awareness of the world outside of their story. Truth be told, if you heard a weird sound in your basement and weren’t the actual writer of this story and so thusly are not aware that yes, the basement contains a gruesome monster who sucks on bones for dinner, sure, you might go check it out. You have to, right?

But give your character credibility in the moment so that the sound in the basement is not a simple mechanism to get the character maimed or killed but something connected to the story and to the character overall.

Seriously - if you heard a big thump in your basement would you go right straight down there to check it out? Or would you wait to see if you heard it again? Would you go down with a knife? NO because you've seen too many horror movies and you KNOW bad things will happen. Most likely, you'd call the police and then exit the house. Or lock yourself in the bathroom. Or call the neighbors.

Particularly in horror scripts, newer writers tend to conveyor-belt the victims. Five kids rode the bus to the remote town preyed upon by a rabid Yeti - one will come out. And the first four will get knocked off in a very orderly fashion, every 10 pages or so. And in order to get them out of the way until we get to the main event – our hero’s confrontation with Yeti – writers will make the first four victims good and dumb. Huh? What’s that snoring sound coming from the ice cave?

Even though the world you create for your characters is unique and self-contained, there is still a larger world that we all identify with and reference, consciously or unconsciously when we watch a movie. In a horror movie set in the present, we have to assume the characters have seen a horror movie or two in their lifetimes and so would not peer too closely into the darkened window which overlooks the haunted lake. I mean – come on people!

Yes, it is fun while watching a horror movie to squirm while the character gets closer and closer to danger – or it gets closer to them – remember the shower scene in ARACHNAPHOBIA? Open your eyes! Open your eyes! Spider coming!! There’s a certain deliciousness to that feeling. But if your character seems plain dense, then their death means absolutely nothing and your audience might even guffaw at it.

So make sure your characters have a modicum of intelligence while in dangerous situations – or write your characters so well that we believe that their being in a dangerous situation isn’t stupidity but something much more interesting, like a mixed up death wish. Anyone see the wonderful documentary GRIZZY MAN? While the intelligence of Timothy Treadwell might be arguable, clearly there was something pretty complicated going on that lead to his demise.

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Hey!

Has anybody else noticed that over the past few years, “hey” has become the new “hello” or "hi"?

Think about it. When was the last time you said “hello”? Maybe when you answer the phone? Do you say “hi”? Or “hello”? How about “howdy?” Or are you a “hey”-er?

The way we speak to each other changes all the time. Remember when you said “groovy” and it wasn’t retro to say it? If you can’t remember, you’re just too durn young. How about “rad”? or “wicked”? Or “dope”?

Start paying attention to the language used all around you every day. How you greet and are greeted. Do you say “good night” to your beloved or do you simply say “’night”?

How do your characters greet each other? Do they use a greeting at all or launch into a tirade?

Hello, good morning, how are you? Good evening, good afternoon, pleased to meet you?

How about goodbye? Later, goodbye, bye, see ya, until we meet again?

The Wave-inatrix has noticed a new trend and that is that when one wishes to acknowledge that something is self evident, one says “I know, right?” I hear it constantly and yes, I have begun to say it myself.

Slang, colloquialisms, dialects and speech patterns can be trendy and/or tied to current events. William Safire writes a wonderful weekly column in the New York Times Magazine on this very topic.

Be aware of your speech patterns – hey versus hello, ‘night versus goodnight, cool versus dope, etc. These word choices that you make are dependent upon a lot of things: how old you are, where you are from, the fact that it is 2007, and the situation you are in. For example, you probably won’t say “hey” to your grandmother. The Stanford educated lawyer you just hired, even though he’s all of 26, probably doesn’t say “wow, that’s so dope that the client settled!” – it would be situationally inappropriate.

How about f*ck yeah! Versus heck yeah! Depends on who is in the room when you make that choice, doesn’t it? And can you picture a 38 year old RN and mother of two saying that? Maybe. That would make her pretty interesting, wouldn’t it?

So when you write dialogue for your characters, take the same types of things into consideration:

Age
Gender
Provenance
Education
Time period
Situation

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