Don't be a Tweaker

You know you do it. You compulsively tweak your script. A little here a little there, you can't leave it alone. You go back through the pages and change dialogue. And change it back. And fix an action line. And fix it back. But then the real trouble begins. You tweak something on page thirty-two which necessitates changing something on page seventeen. And page forty-nine. Now you're done. Time to send that script off to a competition, consultant, friend - whoever. But wait - one more tweak r-i-g-h-t here...

When does a writer know when to leave well enough (or bad enough) alone? Make sure that every time you open your script you have an actual goal in mind. Maybe you are in the midst of adding new scenes, aka actually completing your script. Maybe you just got some notes and you're addressing the pertinent sequences. Maybe you're just rereading it one last time and OH LOOK there's something to tweak.

The problem with tweaking ad infinitum is that you can't see the forest for the trees. Yes, tweaking can improve your pages, but if you do it compulsively, sort of like chewing a fingernail, you can actually damage your script and/or just be wasting your valuable time. Because your time is very valuable, as a screenwriter. Anyone can go back through and rearrange punctuation, but what actually improved and shifted in your last session with your script?

So before you open your script for the day ask yourself: what is the goal of this writing session? Am I tweaking here and there but ultimately getting the work done? Or am I stalled out in tweak-mode? In many ways, tweaking is the way screenwriters justify to themselves that they are working on the script so lay off! But - it's a little lie they tell themselves because they aren't actually being productive at all.

It's like saying you're going to clean the kitchen and then making yourself a snack. You ARE in the kitchen, right? Right.

So make sure to set goals for your writing sessions and keep it real: are you achieving the goals you set or are you rearranging words to kill time and feel productive?

This tip might work only for the total geek Wavers but hey - trying something new can't hurt, right? When you sit down to write, look at the clock. Give yourself a time-limit. Now say to yourself: I am writing for 45 minutes. And when I open this script the goal is: [insert goal here].

Goals might include:

finish pages 25 through 35
write the murder scene
review script for character development of Myrtle
work on dialogue in the sex scene
review the big battle, make sure I didn't cop out

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Getting Viewers Off the Couch

Have you ever been told that your script is not “big” enough or that it read like an episode of a television program? I have. And I read scripts currently that feel that way to me too. Now that I’m on both sides of the fence, I have gained an incredible education. What does “not big enough” mean?

It means your story does not have enough excitement, setpieces and memorable characters to really justify being on the big screen. It means your story is okay or good enough but it just doesn’t feel like a major motion picture. It’s heartbreaking to tell that to a writer and it’s heartbreaking to hear. I recently read a crime thriller that was very adept and fairly entertaining. But it definitely felt like an episode of CSI. Serviceable but not get a sitter, pay for parking, buy two tickets and dinner exciting.

And that’s what executives are looking for – scripts that have big, exciting setpieces, really scary moments, fantastic twists, inventive writing or huge belly-laughs. If you keep hearing that your script doesn’t feel “big enough” go back and look at your premise, first of all. Is it really that unique? Or does it fall under the pretty-good category? Would the story attract an A-list actor who could just as soon stay on their private island for another three months? Would it persuade your stodgy brother-in-law to put down his Coors, leave Major League Baseball alone for the night, get in the car and drive to see a movie? More and more these days, even yours truly gives serious consideration as to whether or not to head out to the movie theater. Tickets are expensive. Lines are long. Parking is a bummer. Concessions are expensive. Why go to the theater when I can go to my local video store, rent a movie or watch tv in the comfort of my own home?

And that’s what we’re up against, Rouge Wavers – television programming and dvd rentals. Television has taken a huge bite out of the box office. There is fantastic writing going on in the world of television and wonderful original movies on Showtime and HBO. Why should a movie-goer leave the house to go see your movie?

You have to see it on the big screen. Have you ever said that to someone? Well - that's what you want your script to read like - wow - this is going to be GREAT on the big screen. This isn't just a heist story or a romantic coming-of-age - this is a MOVIE.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Don't Cop Out

Very often, Rouge Wavers, my blog posts are inspired by real-life experiences I have with the latest script I read for my business or a production company or perhaps something that is going on with a peer, friend or colleague. And so this weekend I read a script that said, simply:

There is a furious battle.

I flipped to the next page. Nada. We move on to the next scene. I flip back. What?? Where'd the furious battle go? I look at the page numbers - has the writer left out a page? No, the writer didn't. The writer simply didn't write the scene.

Rouge Wavers, this is as bad as over-writing the scene. It makes the writer look lazy, inept or both and it cheats the script out of a really great setpiece. A furious battle? Well – what does that look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like? Scripts are like amusement park rides – so thrill us. Simply stating that there IS a battle, chase, sex or gunfight scene does not work whatsoever.

Never, ever miss an opportunity to show off your chops as a writer. We want to hear the clanging swords and be flecked with mud – we want to see the ladies watching and fanning themselves, we want to hear the THUD of the horses….

Anything less is a cop-out of huge proportions.

If you’re really intimidated by writing a great action scene, I recommend getting ahold of and reading some great….wait for it….action scripts. Check out DIE HARD (any) or LETHAL WEAPON – heck, THE ISLAND has a fantastic action sequence. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, THE FRENCH CONNECTION, THE LAST SAMURAI…

The list is long. Don’t be intimidated, do your homework and figure it out. But don’t simply cop out, it will take all the zing out of your script, deflate the read and make you look like an amateur.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Emphasizing Words

Should you underline, italicize or all-cap words for emphasis within dialogue?

Sparingly, sure. A reader is not going to have a fit if you underline or italicize a word to place emphasis on it. And sometimes, it’s hard to avoid. Writers know that focusing on a particular word in a sentence can change the meaning entirely.

Harriet: Marcus, it’s time that you knew, this is not your child!

She holds out a freakish creature, wrapped in a blanket.

***

Harriet: Marcus, it’s time you that knew, this is not your child!

She beckons Marcus’ brother Cedrick to step forward.

***

Harriet: Marcus, it’s time you know, this is not your child!

She points to the baby in the stroller nearby.

***

We have talked before about ALL-CAPPING words for emphasis and we know that can be very effective in action lines. But in dialogue, use an all-cap emphasis extremely rarely. Here is an example with no emphasis, an italicized word and an all-cap. Each one has a slightly different intonation.

Lawrence: Deirdre, I am on fire tonight!

Lawrence: Deirdre, I am on fire tonight!

Lawrence: Deirdre, I am on FIRE tonight!

Place emphasis on words in your dialogue is all right here and there. Sparingly. It is not absolutely verboten, which is the misconception most writers labor under. But do take it easy. Don’t lean on it. Write your scenes with such clarity of context that there would never be a doubt as to whether Lawrence is aflame and in need of medical attention or whether he was aflame with desire.

Words are like musical notes, we use hyphens, ellipses, italics, underlines or all-caps to direct the eye and the attention to where we want it. Used sparingly, it’s no problem for a reader. It just might help you make your point in a funnier, scarier or more urgent way.

Over use of any of these condiments will absolutely mark you as an amateur though. Do not use more than one per page for dialogue and no more than two or three per page in your action lines. That's not a hard-and-fast rule, there is no Reader Issue Word Emphasis-o-Meter, but writers, particularly less experienced ones, should be quite judicious with this.

I recently read a script by a very good writer who had a PEASANT CLANG a large BELL loudly THREE TIMES until the SOLDIERS arrived along with the GENERAL and just as he arrived a SPEAR hit the dirt in front of him, all turned and the WARRIOR KING stood PROUDLY.

Lemme tell ya - it's exhausting and it makes you look like you're shouting. And as a reader, all I am seeing is the all-capped words. It's like playing Wheel of Fortune instead of staying with the action.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Business

What is “business” on your script page? Well, that’s short for “stage business” and that’s an old-fashioned term which means folding laundry, opening a coke, answering the phone, stacking the mail, hanging up the dishtowel – all those little actions. Because movies are not real life – they are real life condensed, compressed and put under an entertaining spotlight, we don’t show a fraction of the “business” that goes on in real life when we write our scripts. Add up everything you did in the past 30 minutes. You made coffee or tea, you had your morning ritual, you chose your clothing, you made your bed (or not) you got into the car to go to work, you greeted the guy in the parking lot….a lot of business. And let’s be honest – it ain’t that fascinating, is it? So in movies – we skip over most of that stuff so we can get to the good part.

The word “business” is by definition negative, in fact. If someone comments on the “business” in your scene – they are not complimenting you, they are saying, in essence, that your action lines are cluttered, with too much going on. If what’s going is distracting and doesn’t add depth or meaning from a thematic or character standpoint – your action lines will be labeled “business”. If what’s going on adds a layer of depth and flows seamlessly, it won’t be mentioned at all. But it will be appreciated.

In other words, one writer throws in that the character brushes his teeth, then flosses then uses mouthwash. Somehow, it’s not working, it doesn’t feel organic, it feels like it was bedtime and the writer figured they better show bedtime ritual. Another writer chose consciously to show this character get ready for bed because it illuminates him in an amusing or otherwise elucidatory way. It’s not well, it’s bedtime, I have to fill page space by showing him get ready for bed. It’s – check out the way this guy gets ready for bed. And watch that tooth floss. It's going to come back later in the story...

Every single word you write in your script is scrutinized for meaning. If you have two characters discussing something in a scene and one character gets up in the midst of that scene, answers the phone and tells the dry cleaner that if they can’t get the stain out of the dress they should just toss it – I am going to wonder why that just happened and I am going to try to assign some meaning to it. Because nothing in a script is accidental. Yes, in real life, quite often our conversations are punctuated with the UPS man’s arrival or opening bills or kicking the fridge door shut. Because real life continues to go on around us and we just swim in it as we try to achieve our larger goals. But in movies, everything flows into the story.

If you have a character kick the fridge door shut we then would ask of that scene: did they just get a beer out? Or a chocolate pie? Is there a magnet on the fridge that falls off after the kick-shut and the magnet says: Eat to live? In other words choose actions very consciously. Choose your actions to make a point. Yes, I know that in real life people scratch and move a dishtowel and doodle. But in movies, I don’t care. Unless it matters. So if you show your character doodle, I am going to watch that carefully for some kind of meaning. And if it ain’t there – now I wonder why you wasted the gesture.

New writers tend to write a scene and think well, I’ve got to make this more life-like and add a phone call, a dog bark or some laundry folding and mail sorting because my two characters can’t just sit there and statically talk. True enough, they can’t just sit there and statically talk. Unless you’ve written MY DINNER WITH ANDRE and what they are saying is so brilliant that you can get away with the minimalist action of ordering more wine or espresso.

What are you characters doing in each scene? What is going on around them? Look for a balance of adding that layer of the reality of their world versus simply giving your character something to do so they don’t sit still. If you’re just not sure – write the dialogue in the scene, move on and come back to it. Don’t add actions simply so they are there. It’s okay to come back and then add a layer that you couldn’t think of in the moment.

Make every scene count, make every word count, make every action count. Otherwise – it’s just business.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Rouge Wave Scene Competition

It's the dog days of summer and many writers are in the doldrums as they await competition results. Summer is waning, a strike is looming and inspiration is low. But Wavers, you must keep writing. How often is too often to say: it's a numbers game. Be generating material at all times. So as a little shot in the arm, the Wave-inatrix dangles a small competition out there for interested Rouge Wavers.

Write a half-page scene which includes: Cosmetics, an aging movie star and a soup commercial. Choose a genre. Make it funny, make it scary, make it poignant - heck, make it ON GOLDEN POND but you have only 1/2 page to do so. And here's the fun part: you must include the words whiskey, tango and foxtrot somewhere in the short scene.

The Wave-inatrix will choose the top three scenes, post them and we shall collectively vote.

The winner receives a $25 gift certificate for either the Landmark Theaters, AMC or California Pizza Kitchen (winner's choice) and 25% discount on any Script Whisperer service (winner must take advantage by August 31st).

Deadline to submit: Monday, August 6th

Submit HERE

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Frustration. It hits all of us. The Wave-inatrix sees it more than most because it's either my own frustration or one of the hundreds of writers I work with. Some recent examples:

Writer, friend and Script Whisperer client: This is a gifted and experienced writer. He wrote and rewrote a script, was feeling very high octane about it, got notes from an exec. Not good enough. Can he do more this and less that and eviscerate this and add that? Can he gut the 2nd act and why is this character so brooding? It's not that the notes were not necessarily legitimate, it's the distance between those notes and where my writer thought the script was. He is still in Pissed Off Seclusion as far as I know.

Close friend of mine: has this writer friend, right? The kid was so-so. She'd given him notes from time to time and while I must maintain her anonymity, suffice it to say she's qualified to easily assess his writing skills. Kid is all of 22. Suddenly his mediocre, cliched, predictable horror script gets some attention at a major studio. Kid gets a pitch meeting. Studio buys pitch for a quarter million dollars. Kid has a studio-bought dinner with an A-list, academy award winning screenwriter. He texts my friend from the bathroom, mid-dinner, with lots of exclamation points. A few weeks ago, the kid shows up in the list of top-ten screenwriters to watch. Which is when my friend called me, absolutely apoplectic. We have to have dinner, she said, her voice shaking - we have to have dinner to discuss WTF is going on here!

Script Whisperer client: has written a fanTAStic family adventure. Great work, definitely makeable. I got it to some producers here in LA at appropriate companies who liked it but weren't looking for that particular storyline at this moment in time. They commented very positively on the writing though. His material was read by buyers with millions of dollars in their budgets and was taken quite seriously - as it should have been. But a few months earlier, he had placed the same script in several competitions. As the results begin to roll in, he finds to his disbelief that it hasn't placed in a one. And the Wave-inatrix can personally attest to the general quality level of competition scripts - dismal. So - what's going on here? Why isn't his work being recognized??

The Wave-inatrix: had a script, along with her partner, out at several A-list actors and top-notch production companies last fall. The project bounced from office to office, getting good notes but not quite finding a home. We'd get notes from actors like: She just did a project like this. or She wants to do a comedy right now or She's booked for two years. But she liked it. Great. The material made the rounds at all the big buyers and players and my partner and I were proud of that even though to date, it hasn't come to fruition. Partner and I decided to work on something else and tend both projects at once (it's a numbers game, remember?) We get notes from a producer who wanted to read the earlier script as a sample before reading our new one. The notes were not only not positive, they defied all the notes we'd gotten for a year previous. They defied the notes of the studio we developed our material with. In fact, if these were the only notes we'd ever gotten - we'd probably cry in our coffee and quit right now. Thank god we had some perspective and experience but WHAT is going on that points of view range that widely. And this 22 year old kid.....It makes the vein in one's forehead throb.

Wave-inatrix friend: wrote a taut psychological thriller. Great stuff, the Wave-inatrix vouches for it personally. Friend got script to a great management company. These were her notes: Really liked it, great character and story development but could you move the midpoint to page 25? I really like my first acts to end no later than page 20. First act end by page twenty? So where does that put the end of the second act - page 60? So there's either one helluva long 3rd act or we're talking about an 80 page script here. How much compressing can a story handle? Do audiences have that much ADD? That's as if we show the girl getting attacked in Jaws, then go straight to the heated chase of the shark out on the boat and skip the town meeting, the USS Indiana speech, the snarky conversations with Richard Dreyfuss. If action is piled on action and we lose the smaller moments, where does a script have to go from there? What are we left with? By these definitions, most of the great movies we know and love from the past would not stand a chance today. Whiskey tango foxtrot??

So Wavers - the Wave-inatrix and friends and clients of hers know your pain and frustration very, very well. Sometimes you just want to chuck your laptop under a train and go be a normal person with a normal job. In this business, the goalpost is always moving. Mediocre writers are rewarded with big paydays and great writers labor for years, unnoticed. It's who you know. It's the buzz your material creates that dictates how "good" it is. The same execs who were your detractors will be your biggest fan if someone higher in the food chain gives you and your work kudos. It's mixed up. It doesn't make sense. What can the Wave-inatrix say except that this is Hollywood, and if it were easy, everybody would do it.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Action Line Don'ts

Here are three examples of bad action line writing that I came across very recently:

They’ve been friends since high school.

He enjoys impressing people even though he has no connections.

He has a hot temper

Now go with me here, Wavers – remember the basic tenet that action lines do not appear on the screen, yes? Does everybody see what is patently wrong with these examples?

So how does “They’ve been friends since high school” work in an action line? It absolutely does not. Because I can’t see that, you’re just telling me that. You’re going to have to work that fact in to the scene in some other, organic way. How about:

Darleen: I’m so fat! I can’t fit into this dress!
Roberta: Remember that Clamato juice diet we did in the 9th grade?
Darleen: What were we thinking?!

There are so many creative ways to let us know that these two have been friends since high school. This can be indicated in dialogue as above, it might be indicated by possessions, shared memories, or even someone else making a comment. Don't cop out and simply announce to us what this relationship is. It's lazy writing, it doesn't work, it is the mark of an amateur and it will get you a PASS.

How about this one – “He enjoys impressing people even though he has no connections.” Show it don’t say it and certainly do not describe your character as if you are introducing him or her on a gameshow: Dexter loves spotted dogs, flying kites and impressing people, though he has no connections.

No, no and NO. Maybe Dexter compensates by wearing a gold pinky ring. Maybe he has a vast Rolodex on his desk. Only we see that most of the cards are blank. Certainly in his dialogue, he’s going to speak pretentiously. The scene in LA STORY when Steve Martin tries to book a table at an impossibly pretentious French restaurant is a great example of a character trying to impress someone but having absolutely no luck whatsoever.

On the other hand, crafty and skillful writers can say things in action lines like:

Robert sits down on the piano bench. Wishing he were anywhere but here.

Floyd files his nails – can jury selection go any more slowly?

Rachel winds her kite back in. Bored.

Why can you get away with things like this? Because these are sentiments generally accompanied by facial expressions or body language. Can you see Rachel winding her kite back in - bored? How about if she wound her kite back in, frightened? Or annoyed? Well, I can picture those things. But I can't picture the fact that she never gets dates. And Wavers, it is my sad duty to inform you that yes indeed I have read action lines like: Rachel likes to fly kites and never gets dates. Sometimes she overeats when she's lonely. What is the Wave-inatrix disclaimer that comes right around now...? I wish I made this stuff up.

Remember - show it, don't say it. Evidence things, do not list them. Do not introduce your characters as if they are on The Price is Right. You don't have to tell us everything about your character immediately. Take your time. Let your character's quirks, predilections and personal history come out bit by bit, as the scene and situation calls for it. Did we know that Raymond Babbitt had to have fish sticks on Tuesdays and that he bought his underwear at Kmart on the first page we met him? No. We got to know his habits and routines little by little until they build like a drumbeat, driving his brother crazy.

When introducing a character ask yourself:

Is this piece of information or history important to convey here and now? Or might it make an interesting reveal, later?

Is this character evidencing the history or habit or am I just noting it for the reader?

Is this a sentiment or an opinion? Can my character act it out rather than my just saying it?

Which is more economical and clever here, naming the sentiment or acting it out?

and always, always, as a fail safe, read the action line again and ask yourself: what does "he likes to impress people" look like?

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Beg to Differ

The Wave-inatrix's script consulting business has grown such that there are now other readers available to read scripts in the two and three reader packages. Whether or not the Wave-inatrix is one of those readers, I do of course review all the sets of notes, ensuring the notes meet my standards. The whole point of getting your script read by two or three readers at once is that you will see variances of opinion.

Recently, my two readers (wildly qualified and experienced, both) turned in notes on the same script and I noticed something fascinating. While their story notes were almost identical (there were a lot of problems) they had some nitpicky notes that were almost completely opposite. The writer is one who just so happens to have a ton of voice and personality on the page - something I absolutely adore. But one reader really took him to task for one particular action line stylism he has while the other made no comment but picked up on another stylism and took him to task for that. And interestingly, though I was not the third reader on the material - I have read his work before and would not have been bothered by either example.

So I went back and reviewed the notes again and found, upon closer examination, that the story notes from both readers reflected a narrative that was not working in a rather profoundly unsettling way. And they both felt character work was way off for the main character. AHA - so the reason they lasered in on a couple action line idiosyncrasies was that they were irritated that the script was not working on a larger level. And when readers get cranky about things like that - they nitpick.

I have had the same experience myself - if a script has a lot of typos and it's not working as a whole, I will definitely ride those misspells and malapropisms. If the script is pretty great on the whole, my eyes glide over small errors because I don't care - I'm caught up in the story.

So the moral is manyfold: yes readers can and might nitpick over small errors and idiosyncrasies and yes that is totally subjective. So, particularly if this is your first through fourth script or so - take it easy on stylizing or otherwise popping a lot of wheelies on the pages - try to lay down a great, solid story as your number one top priority. In fact, that is always, aways the first priority but the Wave-inatrix finds that the more experience a writer has getting the story right, then the writer can relax and add that layer of voice and style. But it's a careful balance at first.

Happy is the reader reviewing pages telling a great story in a great way, but cranky is the reader reviewing pages that aren't working, made more plain by stylistic choices that only highlight what isn't working. The impression a reader is left with is that the writer was a lazy pretender, eager to show off an undisciplined voice but not yet skilled enough to tell an original story and execute it well.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Goodbye Tammy Faye

Hours ago, Tammy Faye passed. Say what you will, she was one extraordinary woman. May she rest in peace. And check out the documentary.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Tammy Faye Messner

For those of you who have seen the interview of Tammy Faye Messner on Larry King, the sight of this formerly spunky (to say the least) woman weighing in at only 65 pounds, ravaged by cancer may have been jarring. And quite sad. She doesn't have long to live, clearly.

The Wave-inatrix thought this would be a good time to remind Rouge Wavers of a wonderful documentary about Tammy's life, made in 2000, called THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE. I saw it when it was released and I think I expected a lot of laughs at Tammy's expense. I mean, this lady was ridiculous, right? When I came of age in the 80s, Tammy Faye and then husband Jim Bakker were tabloid fodder; truly despised by so many because of the scandals connected to the PTL Club and their right-wing political and Evangelical views. How could Tammy Faye, with her garish makeup, big blonde do and little tiny munchin voice possibly be a person one could have any respect for? She and Bakker deserved absolutely everything they got when it all came apart - the humiliation, the bankruptcy and the shame. That's how I felt going into the documentary.

But I was surprised, when THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE was over, to have a newfound respect for this little dynamo of a woman who crashed, burned and reinvented herself with courage and laughter. She went on to become a gay and hipster icon and there was just something about her crazy makeup and insistent smile that made you want to root for Tammy. One line from the movie I will never forget. It's not profound, it's not even that original, but responding to a question about her rise and fall, Tammy says: You know, we're all made of the same dirt.

Put THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE on your Netflix. You won't regret it.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Character Trait: Smoker or Non-Smoker?

From the Hollywood Reporter last May:

Filmmakers now might get an R rating as a thank you for smoking. The MPAA said Thursday that its rating board will consider film depictions of smoking among the criteria for assigning movie ratings. Anti-tobacco activists have been pressing for an automatic R rating for films with smoking scenes, but MPAA chairman and CEO Dan Glickman rejected the proposal for a more nuanced approach...the MPAA ratings board "will now consider smoking as a factor among many other factors, including violence, sexual situations and language, in the rating of films," he said."Clearly, smoking is increasingly an unacceptable behavior in our society," Glickman said. "There is broad awareness of smoking as a unique public health concern due to nicotine's highly addictive nature, and no parent wants their child to take up the habit. The appropriate response of the rating system is to give more information to parents on this issue."Glickman described the move as an extension of the MPAA's practice of factoring underage smoking into the rating of films. The ratings board will ask three questions, he said: 1) Is the smoking pervasive 2) Does the film glamorize smoking 3) Is there a historic or other mitigating context?Also, when a film's rating is affected by the depiction of smoking, the rating will include such phrases as "glamorized smoking" or "pervasive smoking."

So the Wave-inatrix wants to know - how do Rouge Wavers feel about this restriction? Do writers have a social responsibility to cut down on the characters that we might show smoking? How about drinking? Hard drugs? Pot? Would KNOCKED UP be the same if Seth Rogen's buddies smoked a little less weed?

There are so many traits that as writers we can assign to our characters. Quirks, eccentricities and habits - good and bad. Do we have a moral, social or ethical responsibility to bear in mind that some viewers might watch this character and want to emulate him or her? This doesn't necessarily mean the viewer is a blank slate or idiot - the Wave-inatrix quit smoking a few weeks back. And I tell you, when I see a character smoking in a movie - I want to affix my face to the screen and suck that smoke straight into my lungs. It's tough. People Magazine used to have a policy of photoshopping out the cigarettes usually clutched in the hands of so many celebrities. But they have begun to show the cigarettes anyway. The public deserves to see the whole picture, they figure. So celebrities do it - and the public sees it - so how can a writer be in any way compared to that? We aren't writing about real people, we are writing about pretend people. To the Wave-inatrix, it's about avoiding glamorizing or making smoking look cool. In BLADE RUNNER, smokers abound. But it's part of the broke-down, dark, dystopian vision of the story. I mean, look at that world. Shoot, I'd buy my smokes by the truckload.

I just recently read an interview with Shia LaBeouf, and the interviewer included that LaBeouf lit up a smoke before answering the next question. Should that detail have been included? Had the interviewer not included it, we would never have known the kid smokes. Until we saw his picture in People and noticed a small, blurry white stick in one hand. Should the interviewer have skipped over this detail? Should LaBeouf not have lit up, knowing it would probably be noted? Which? Neither?

Where is the line between social responsibility and doing our jobs as story-tellers? The Wave-inatrix is currently ghost-writing a mystery novel with a Texan client who depicted his main character drinking - a lot. I mean - a lot. Maybe it's a Texas thing. But I advised him that we really are going to need to cut down the number of Dewar's and waters we show this guy put down. Why? Because we want our readers to like this guy, not raise their eyebrows everytime he slams back another one. I mean, I'm working on this material and I don't know how the guy stands up and solves anything. It would be different if the material were LEAVING LAS VEGAS, right? Or would it?

Do writers get carte blanche or do we have to bear in mind that this thing we do is bread and circus? We are selling our stories, right? To buyers. Who turn around and sell the story to the public. Who will have judgments and reactions to our material.

It's a complex issue and a slippery slope. Maybe the writer who wrote BUT I'M JUST A CHEERLEADER (wonderful movie by the way) should not have written it. It did feature homosexuality, after all. Oh but wait - that's not a bad habit, that's just the way you're born. But not to a conservative it isn't. It's a bad lifestyle choice. Which really shouldn't be depicted. That's an argument that the Wave-inatrix cannot get behind. But - should we think twice about the drugs, drinking and smoking we show our characters engage in? What is our role?

Food for thought.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Guest Blog: The Property Master

The Wave-inatrix is proud to present another in a series of guest blogs by friends and colleagues who have experiences and perspectives to share with Rouge Wavers. Today I proudly present Details, Details, Details by a dear friend who just happens to be the Property Master on one of the top three network televisions hits that many of you may love. She's also worked on a pretty jaw-dropping list of feature films. Just what is a Property Master? Read on to find out:

***

Hey out there, Wavers! The good news today is that if I’m reading your script, you’re stoked. Not because I can give you the sacred green light, but if your story has trickled all the way down to me on the moviemaking food chain, somebody already has. I’m a Propmaster for film and television and my inclusion in the process means that the hallowed greenlighter has committed to make your movie, budgeted it, scheduled it, cast it (hopefully), and staffed it, with below-the-line people such as myself.

I’ve been propping in various capacities for over a decade now. I got my start working with one of the most talented comediennes in the business, with whom I am still friendly to this day and I worked with a formerly A-list comedy star who tried to have me fired, right around the time he melted down at the corner of Balboa and something one hot Tuesday afternoon. I’ve faced off with Val Kilmer and James Woods (on respective projects), shot at the Playboy Mansion, skid row and the Dorothy Chandler House in Hancock Park. I’ve worked on television shows that have won Emmys and movies that have won Academy Awards. I’ve worked on straight-to-video and cable movies with budgets so low that we used confetti for snow. I’ve stood on a ladder high above an Academy Award winning actor and gently sprinkled rose petals down onto his face. Off-camera, of course. I’ve strapped drop-holsters onto the crotches of super hot A-list actor dudes that you see on the cover of current issues of People or US. I’ve handled guns, bombs, purses, leeches and cow brains.

But it’s not all the glamorous life. In my day to day, I work in concert with a Production Designer, Set Decorator, Costume Designer, Cinematographer and of course, the Writer and Director to help take your words off the page and make them three dimensional. Though hopefully you’ve figured this out already, the rough definition of a prop is anything an actor touches which uh, covers a pretty broad spectrum. So, props, you say. Isn’t that just the little stuff? How can those details be so important that someone needs to be assigned to organizing them? Let’s back up a sec and review a couple of movie titles, say, Gaslight or American Beauty. Ok, yeah, two really good movies. But contained in those titles, which are um, PROPS, by the way, are the entire thematic threads of those stories.

Ok, so maybe you’re not totally with me yet. When I read your script, I’m looking for character detail, tone and themes. These ideas in your story are the templates for the choices I make. In American Beauty, Annette Bening’s character is a gardener of prize-winning roses. She’s uptight and a desperate social climber. So when you describe her in the garden with her tools, your economy of description, ie, she is a type A personality, mean I find for her an immaculate Smith and Hawken gardening kit, stool and pristine gloves (which we did). Used effectively, props are an extension of character and thusly, the deeper themes of a film. Be advised when you write, that the bullet points of character: such as economic status, appearance, and bearing, are the touchstones for which people like myself use to make illustrative decisions around providing or creating the three dimensional objects that the actor uses over the course of a film.

But let’s bring it all back to you. As a fan of the The Rouge Wave, I can tell you, when she encourages you to write with colorful details, the Wave-inatrix is right on the money. But when describing props and sets, keep it simple, because an army of people will be hired to create the look of a film and sustain it. They will be part of a larger visual, aesthetic that happens long after your fundamental work is done. In The Salton Sea, the brilliant writer Tony Gayton, wrote something to the effect of ‘the gang of meth heads recreate the Kennedy assassination with pigeons, in the compound.” Ok, the basic components are, a radio-controlled car, pigeons and 22 caliber rifles. As Prop people, we think backwards. What would a bunch of tweakers do with this idea? They’d get high and meticulously recreate the factual details on a smaller scale. Lynda Reiss, the amazing Propmaster I worked with on this film, had the awesome idea of building a chassis for this car with all the materials available to a bunch of dudes manufacturing methamphetamines. She used solvent cans for the chassis, beer can pull tabs for the handles of the suicide doors, bobby pins for windshield wipers and a household spatula for the grill. And the piece de la resistance? A spray painted water bottle cap for Jackie O’s pillbox hat. Watch the movie, it’s a great set piece. Point being, not your job to write the heck out of these details. We’ll take care of them for you.

That said, what we need-to-know types do expect from you writers is, KNOW YOUR CHARACTERS AND STORY. In my opinion, writers are clearly the principal architects of a film and have spent the most time with the characters and themes. Though they have been given short shrift historically, squelched by auteurist theory, more and more I find, directors will to defer to you. And myself as well. So pony up. We NEED your knowledge of the underpinnings to solve creative problems. If you have the great fortune to find yourself in a Wardrobe, Props or Sets and Locations meeting, be prepared to give decisive, specific answers. We are trying to bring your vision to life and more often than not, we need answers and we need them quick. You may be the architects, but we are the finishing crew. Only with the most effective collaboration, can we build the most inspired movie, one that weathers the test of time.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Rouge Wave Poll Results

So how did Rouge Wavers feel about Gorenography? Interestingly, very mixed.

29% said that they really didn’t care about it one way or the other
30% said that it is deeply offensive
28% said their main concern is that it gives the horror genre a bad name.

Apparently, on its opening weekend, CAPTIVITY grossed a mere $1.5 million which according to the box office wonks is the death knell for the movie. To put that box office in perspective, all three SAW movies together averaged $27 million on the opening weekend. That’s an average; the first installment only made $18 million. At any rate, that does make $1.5 million look rather paltry. Rumors are swirling around that Lionsgate is going to eat their shorts on the fourth installment of the SAW franchise; it is slated to be released this October 26th and interested parties within and without the industry are predicting a box office tank-fest. Time will tell whether this sub-genre of horror is dying, dead or simply needing to take a long nap and reinvent itself.

In other Rouge Wave poll reflections, 68% of Rouge Wavers admit to not having seen ON THE WATERFRONT. Put it in your Netflix queue and do it now. Seriously. It is Eva Marie Saint’s first feature film and she is luminous. Marlon Brando is superlative and finally, you’ll be able to put “I coulda been a contender” in context. The scene is actually quite moving. Make this movie a priority; you won’t regret it.

As for CITIZEN KANE, the second runner-up of movies Rouge Wavers admit to having not seen – the Wave-inatrix will risk a pillorying to admit that of course I’ve seen it but – meh. Not an entertaining experience as far as I am concerned. If you don’t mind popping it in for a few minutes and giving it a try, you really should. It’s part of Hollywood film history and you should give it a chance. If you don’t like it, you won’t be the first one to say so.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Landing Your Moments

My daughter, the Mini-W, is addicted to America’s Next Top Model. And slowly but surely, I have found myself also glued to each episode. It has actually fascinated me, how much more there is to modeling than I could have imagined. What strikes me is that the way the models go from sleepy and complaining to ON – the minute they are asked to. They know that everything changes when they are being watched – and judged. Most of us don't go to fashion shows and many of us may not have much serious regard for Tyra Banks and her television empire, but one thing is definitely true - say what you will about runway models - it's hard to take your eyes off of them.

So let's talk about your writing. You know in your head what you want to happen in a scene, and you type it out quietly, between sips of coffee - but this scene is destined to be read by some executive, assistant, reader or intern out there and that scene better be absolutely smoking-hot; all long legs and penetrating eyes. Your scene better be riveting, in other words.

No lazy strolls, no dense action lines of information - put your words on the catwalk so that all eyes are glued on them and so that when something happens, you draw attention to it. Land your moments, nail them - do not write them at the pace of a lazy stroll.

All of this “landing” scenes and moments and comparing it to runway models might be a bit of a reach. What in the heck is the Wave-inatrix talking about? Let me illustrate.

Here’s a changed-up and paraphrased example from something my partner and I wrote not long ago. It appears on the very last page of a psychological thriller. The previous scene was an intense battle scene between the main character and antagonist. We fade to black after a gunshot blast. You don't know how it ended... We cut to a quiet dock in New England.

A seagull feather floats down above the dock gently. A HAND catches it.

Alice smiles directly into the camera.

Less experienced writers might not have taken advantage of such a big reveal. I very often see the same type of moment written like this:

A seagull feather floats down above the dock gently. Alice catches it She smiles directly into the camera.

See how much more fun the first example was? See how that landed? It was a pleasure to read. We delivered the same information but notice that we used a HAND – so the reader knows this is significant, whoever it is…then we put a blank line between that and the reveal. Why? Because it literally makes you wait another second before you get the answer. A nanosecond – but an important one. A crucial one. A fun one. The second example contains the reveal but it doesn't LAND it.

I have read action lines in scripts in which clearly, some big, fun, scary or otherwise important piece of information is delivered in the same flow of words as the ones you’re reading right now so that if the murderer is your brother and he’s standing right behind you with an ice pick and you sip your coffee but before you can whirl around the ice pick appears through a clavicle, that is about the way you would experience that moment. That was pretty fun, huh? Quite a wild ride. As always, Rouge Wavers, I do not make my examples up. I might paraphrase but I have read what was supposed to be terrifying or hilarious set pieces in paragraphs like this one in which the writer laundry-lists the big Moment and it lands like a damp towel.

Use all-capped words, use spaces, use tension and mystery - use everything in your toolbox as a screenwriter to make the moment memorable. So let's have that writer be murdered by his brother once more:

The writer peers at his blinking computer screen as he reads the Rouge Wave. He chuckles to himself. Unseen by him, a shadow falls on his desk.

SUDDENLY an ice pick BURSTS through his shirt! Blood stains his blue oxford in a macabre blossom. The writer slumps over and turns weakly toward his attacker. His eyes widen.

Writer: Richard! I thought you were dead!

Parse the information out a little. Make us wait for it. Land your laughs or reveals. How things land is particularly important in comedy and in horror or thriller. But really, honestly, it’s always important. You script is on the catwalk. Strutting, winking, smoldering. Pivot, hands on hips, and stare into the eyes of your reader when something big happens. Work it. You want all eyes on you. Dull action lines in which information and actions just spool out are the equivalent of watching a very old person hobble across a crosswalk while you wait at the now green light. Come on already. COME ON ALREADY!! No. We want a Willie Wonka tumble to surprise us. Bam! Land it.

How are your moments landing?

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Give Your Characters Some Credit

We talk a lot about writing good characters on the Rouge Wave and there’s a reason for that – I know, this is repetitive, anyone want to fight me over it? – in a sense, all movies are character-driven. Yes, the characters in THE TRANSFORMERS do not have the depth and complexity of the characters in EVENING – but Wavers, take it from me, strive for depth and complexity because if you find yourself being paid oodles of money down the line to write a big action picture – it will still come in handy. But if you just have no idea how to write good characters, well, your “career” will be brief – if it ever gets started at all. And the odds aren’t good if you can’t write believable characters.

Nobody said it is easy. In fact, it is about the most elusive and difficult part of screenwriting. But I find that some writers underwrite characters they view as so ancillary as to not warrant the time and trouble. So we wind up with waitresses who speak like Stepford Wives, or coaches who bark orders relentlessly or "hot babes" who seem to literally have no other concerns, obligations or interests outside of the kegger they have been dropped into as filler for the writer. Give your characters a little credit, guys. They must have the dimension, quirks, common sense (or lack of it) that real humans do.

Every line of every page of your script is an opportunity. Don’t waste a character, don’t waste an action line, don’t waste a single square-inch of your script.

Remember, characters are not replicants of human beings, they really should be written as if you are recording the best, more emotional, entertaining moments of a real human being. After all, when your movie is made, real human beings will inhabit these roles. And if this human being is a truly good actor, what was a character on your page is going to be a living breathing human being onscreen. One indistinguishable from a real person for audience members. Did anybody for one second see Anthony Hopkins when they watched Hannibal Lecter do his thing? No. You were focused on Lecter. As if he truly exists.

On the flip side, sometimes an actor's celebrity is so huge that when you see Brad Pitt in a role, you perceive Brad Pitt playing such-and-such character. His celebrity always comes between you and his character. Meryl Streep is an actress famous for becoming so enmeshed and immersed in her characters that you forget it's Meryl Streep that you are watching. In a sense, she disappears. And the character takes over.

Going to the movies is a suspense of disbelief; audiences make an agreement with you when they buy the ticket, that they are entering a fantasy zone in which x,y and z things will happen. And it is a trip so real that they will laugh aloud, sniffle and cry and go home quoting great lines. So keep up your end of the bargain and don't skimp on making your ancillary characters three-dimensional every bit as much as you do your main characters.

So often novice screenwriters get really excited about the potential money they can earn if they sell a script. We've talked at length on the Rouge Wave of the probability of that and how you should be driven by the love of it more than anything else since the odds are frankly monstrous. But for the sake of argument, yes, successful screenwriters can get paid very well. But they work for it. Keep up your end of the bargain. Don't rush through your script and gloss over anything. Not even that "hot babe" in the party scene.

So open your script and read it aloud to yourself or a captive audience. Act the script out yourself. Would a person really say the line you just read aloud? For real? Wouldn’t a real person be more scared? Or wouldn’t a real person question what just happened? Give your character some credit. They are not pretending to exist and pretending to be in this situation – for them this is a real world and these things are really happening. It sounds kind of creepy, as if you have to be a little crazy to write good characters. Now is a good time to get okay with that.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

How to Indicate Another Language

What if you have a character who speaks another language entirely? Do you need to indicate that every time they speak, subtitles will be necessary? Well, yes. Sort of. How you indicate this is key, however.

I have seen writers do this:

Howard and Rolfe punt across the river. Rolfe speaks Russian.

Rolfe: (In Russian)
I am allergic to water. I can’t find that in my phrase book.

Howard speaks English.

Howard (In English)
Jolly good! We’ll row for five more kilometers!

Rolfe speaks Russian.

Rolfe (In Russian)
I’m beginning to regret this vacation.

All right. Not only have you annoyed your reader mightily very quickly (and imagine, Rouge Wavers, this method of indicating Rolfe's language extending the length of a script) you are also being redundant and using up precious space. This is not the way to indicate that Rolfe speaks Russian. Also, if your script is being considered here in the US, it’s a given that it’s written in English and that all characters speak English. So you don’t need to indicate that Howard speaks English – of course he does. But we do have the problem of Rolfe.

Here’s how you approach that. The very first time we meet Rolfe, describe him as you normally would a new character but note that he speaks a different language.

ROLFE, (20) muscular with Slavic features and a Faberge egg tattoo on his right forearm, speaks only Russian.

Rolfe: (in Russian) I miss my homeland.

Howard: You want to go rowing?

BUT what if Howard is English but speaks and understands Russian? Well, that’s simple. You can do one of two things:

Rolfe: (in Russian) I have a great fear of drowning.

Howard: No worries, dear boy. I’m a certified punter. I’ve never lost a tourist yet.

You see? It's clear that Howard understood Rolfe judging by his answer.
Here's another way:

Rolfe: (in Russian) You don’t understand – I have nightmares about Virginia Woolfe!

Howard: (in Russian) Yes, well, she was right daft.

Rolfe: (in Russian) Are you saying I’m crazy?

Howard: I don’t get paid enough for this.

Rolfe: (in Russian) What?

Howard: (in Russian) I said it’s almost tea time, don’t you think?

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

WGA Negotiations Begin Monday

This just in from Variety online, Rouge Wavers:

Tense scripter talks to begin next week

By DAVE MCNARY, DAVE MCNARY, ELIZABETH GUIDER

Get ready for a bumpy ride when contract negotiations start next week between the Writers Guild of America and Hollywood producers.
Amid some rather pointed saber-rattling, the two sides officially will begin Monday in their efforts to replace the Writers Guild's current three-year deal, which expires Oct. 31. And bargaining promises to be particularly rocky this time, given the positions that have just been spelled out.

"The preview of Writers Guild negotiations makes me very pessimistic," admitted Nick Counter, president of the Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers, at a media briefing Wednesday. "I've never seen a list of the magnitude that they've outlined in their pattern of demands."

The WGA's key demands include hammering out compensation for writing for new-media platforms and expanding jurisdiction into reality and animation.
But the Hollywood studios and networks are coming to the table with what they call "a revolutionary idea" as the centerpiece of their demands: junking the entire system of residuals for writers, actors and directors for reuse of movies and TV shows because of the fast-changing revenue landscape as new-media platforms proliferate.

For several months, the companies have been floating the idea of a study to create a revamped system as essential to the industry, only to be brushed off by the WGA and SAG. And after the briefing Wednesday, the WGA immediately declared the idea of rethinking residuals a non-starter, with negotiating committee chief John Bowman accusing the companies of duplicity -- crying poverty to the talent guilds while boasting to Wall Street about record profits.
At the briefing at AMPTP headquarters in Encino, three top network execs said they want to ask not just the WGA but also SAG and the DGA to go back to the drawing board for the next three years for joint studies that would create a new profit-based compensation system. The Screen Actors Guild and Directors Guild contracts both expire June 30.

"We're operating under terms and conditions that were formulated 50 years ago," Warner Bros. Entertainment chairman-CEO Barry Meyer explained on Wednesday. "We have to look at models that allow our investment to be recaptured. And this is the time to do it because of all the new-media issues."

Along with Meyer, CBS' Leslie Moonves and Disney's Anne Sweeney appeared at the briefing to emphasize the companies' key goal -- persuading the WGA to extend the current deal. That way they can begin to overhaul the entire compensation system for talent, particularly the residuals structure and install profit-based models.

Each exec stressed that the proliferation of new-media outlets is making the current system untenable. "It's a time of great experimentation," declared Moonves, adding that retaining the current residuals system will turn the nets into "dinosaurs."

"We need complete flexibility," added Sweeney, the Disney-ABC TV Group president said. "The guild restrictions limit our ability to do what we need to do."

Moonves stressed that it's too early to expect mega-congloms to sort out which digital platforms are going to survive and thrive: CBS -- and its rivals -- have made and will make dozens of deals in the new arena, but current revenues from them are still "minuscule."

"Our hands can't be tied," Moonves added.

Not surprisingly, the WGA was unimpressed. In a statement issued a few hours after the producers' media briefing, Bowman chided the studios and networks.
"Our proposals will be fair to writers and to the industry," Bowman said. "What we are seeking over a three-year contract is about what a couple of failed executives get every year in severance packages."

He also dismissed the notion of a joint study, asserting it's merely a delaying tactic employed by companies that already have plenty of operational experience that can be used to fairly compensate writers. The WGA's been irked over companies' practices in the digital arena -- such as asserting that work on new platforms amounts to promotion and doesn't trigger residuals.

"The companies have made hundreds of deals in the new-media arena over the past year, which proves that they do have viable business models," Bowman said.
"We don't need a study," he emphasized. "We need a fair share for writers of the revenue our work generates. Our members can't rely on Hollywood accounting. According to studio analysis, 'The Simpsons' doesn't turn a net profit. The companies have lost the right to talk about a profit basis for residuals."

The possibility of companies' pushing for a revamp of residuals received its first mention in 2004, when the DGA concluded that such an initiative could be an unintended consequence if it pushed for a hike in DVD residual rates.

The DGA concluded that it wasn't ready to take that step and then reached its current agreement, with the biggest gains in health and pension contributions; within six months, the WGA and SAG followed suit.

On Wednesday, SAG topper Doug Allen reiterated his guild's previous stance against a study and a concurrent contract extension. "We are not interested in extending our agreement," Allen declared. "We don't need a study to know that a compensation system based on profit accounting would be inaccurate, unreliable and unfair. Talent can't be asked to share the profit risk when creative artists have no control over what projects are made or how they are budgeted -- particularly for promotion and advertising."

Counter said Wednesday that he's uncertain if the demand for a study would prompt a strike by the WGA. "We won't really know how deeply they're dug in until Oct. 31," he added.
But if it comes to that, the producers say they'll be ready with alternative shows that won't require guild writers.

"CBS is not going to go blank," Moonves said. "We will have product on the air, high-quality shows."

"You shouldn't," Sweeney added, "underestimate our resolve."

Read the full article at:http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117968372.html

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Rouge Wave Bulletin Board

My dear friends at My Visual Pitch are sponsoring a Visual Pitch competition. Upload up to three Visual Pitches of your strongest screenplay or movie idea, or trailer for your completed film for a chance to win some pretty fabulous prizes including one donated by your very own Wave-inatrix.

Also, my wonderful friend and colleague, Pilar Alessandra of On the Page is teaching a class to end all classes: BEYOND THE CHICK FLICK: Writing Female-Driven Screenplays That Sell Saturday, August 18: 10:00 - 4:00 at her offices here in Los Angeles. Take it from the Wave-inatrix, Pilar is one amazing lady.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Competition Fever

Rumors and rumors of rumors are floating around Hollywood right now that script sales seem to be happening at a clip this summer, with executives skipping vacations in order to clinch deals. Competition fever is the air too. Some deadlines have just passed, others are upcoming and writers everywhere are wondering how they'll place and what that will mean for them if they do. Back in February, the Wave-inatrix wrote a blog entry about seeking representation and thought I would reprise it today, apropos of the renewed interest in competitions:

***

Hollywood often feels like a very exclusive club with menacing bouncers standing at the door. And you, the writer, are one of thousands standing in line outside in the cold waiting and hoping for your chance. The line seems to shuffle forward little by little but like a Sisyphusian nightmare, you always find yourself standing at the back of the line. Watching other people get ushered inside. And everyone who gets inside has one thing in common: a smartly dressed escort at their elbow. That would be an agent or manager.An agent or manager is a necessity. But how do you get one? Many writers try the scattershot method of listing their script with a query-blasting service, which sends your logline to any producer with an email address like so much spam. Others list their loglines on websites which producers browse. Word on the street is that successful producers have time to browse the internet for scripts. That make sense to you? Other writers invest in a Hollywood Creative Directory and start with A and end with Z, sending out one query letter after another. I know these methods well because I tried them all. And nothing came to fruition for me. Work sent in these ways usually winds up lost in a sea of other loglines and queries. The question is how do you stand out from the rest?

It seems everything is stacked against us. Some agents don’t accept unsolicited queries. So how do they get new clients? They may not be looking for clients except through referral. So how do you get referred? If you sometimes feel that everything is designed to keep you and your work at arms length, you’re not far off base. In my adventures reading for production companies I have been and continue to be shocked by the piles of scripts I see. I call them “the slithering stack”. They literally slither to the floor because there are too many. And these are represented scripts.

In order of efficacy, here are the best methods for seeking representation:

1) Friend of a friend.
2) Be a competition winner or finalist
3) Go to a pitch-fest and blow an exec’s mind
4) Query selectively using the HCD
5) The Schwab’s Drugstore Fantasy

FRIEND OF A FRIEND
The friend of a friend is obviously something very few people can take advantage of. But you can cultivate relationships in the business which could lead to a hand-off at some point in the future. You never know. That’s how I got my manager. But as I look back, it was a long time coming until the stars were aligned and I just so happened to have a good script and it just so happened to be right up my manager’s alley. Luck = timing + opportunity.

COMPETITIONS
A much more realistic approach is to enter your scripts into competitions. There are many to choose from and by and large, they really are a terrific way to get noticed. I would avoid those contests that run competitions frequently and that don’t seem to have much in the way of industry credibility.

In my opinion, some competitions which can really pay off for you are:

The Nicholls Fellowship
The Austin Film Festival
Creative Screenwriting’s AAA Competition
Creative Screenwriting’s Expo Competition
Final Draft Big Break
The Blue Cat Screenwriting Competition
The Disney Fellowship
Slamdance

Some competitions are more illustrious than others – Nicholls comes to mind – but all of these competitions are designed to help launch writers. I urge all my clients to enter as many of these competitions as they can.

PITCH-FESTS
Attending a pitch-fest is also a good way to seek representation although you really should be very prepared. The CS Expo offers pitching opportunities so check that out.

QUERYING
If none of the methods above have paid off for you, or do not appeal for any reason, you can go old school and query. This is not the most effective method but still – there are exceptions. Buy yourself the latest edition of the Hollywood Creative Directory for agents and managers (it is updated quarterly) or get an online subscription of same. As you flip through the book, have your IMDB at the ready. Read the company descriptions carefully, look up execs and their resumes.Sometimes as a new writer, the smaller boutique management shingles are the best place to look. The HCD will include absolutely everybody but there are two things to be very aware of: The long shots and the shysters.

A short list of the long shot agencies and management firms would include:

CAA
ICM
William Morris
UTA
Benderspink

We know that these agencies represent the crème de la crème in both the literary and acting realms. Not the best place for a newbie to come a’ knockin’. Which is not to say you can’t try – just be aware that it would be quite an accomplishment to even get a response to your query through these venues.

The shysters are the one-man outfits, usually. With addresses outside of Los Angeles or New York. Yes there are managers and agents in Chicago, Atlanta and Minneapolis; but that’s not where the business is. How effective and connected is a manager who can’t do lunch easily and regularly with potential buyers?

As you peruse the HCD, IMDB the principal and see if anything comes up. If you do call or query, absolutely do NOT pay a fee for anything. Some of these unethical charlatans prey on new writers by charging fees to send your work out. These types of people are tempting for new writers because they will pick up the phone more or less immediately, they will talk to you and they will agree readily (most often) to read your material. That’s because they aren’t in the business of making deals – they are in the business of bilking writers. If it’s too good to be true – it probably is.Do not pay any fees – ever. Do not trust the “manager” that has a barking Chihuahua in the background or the drone of a television set. How do I know to warn my dear readers of these types? Been there. Done that. Believe more highly in your work than to be lured into the grasp of these bottom feeders.

A resource for checking out the creds of agents and managers is the Done Deal Message Board. There writers can post about their experiences. Do a search and spend some time on the site; you may find all the answers you need right there.

SCHWABS
We’ve all heard stories of an actor or writer being discovered at odd moments or locations. And yes, it can indeed happen. Which is why you should always be prepared to talk about your work. However. The instances of a writer making a profitable connection with a representative or producer while shopping for shampoo are – well – miniscule. If you are doing everything in this list to find representation and then you run into Tom Hanks while you are checking out with your Clairol Herbal Essence - terrific. But don’t count on it.

The big question really is – are you ready for representation? It’s not just a matter of the stars being aligned – it’s a matter of the maturity of your material. How many scripts have you written? If this is your first script, the chances that the material is rep-ready are pretty slim. And that’s okay. It takes time to learn the craft and you will improve with each new script you write. It took me 7 ½ scripts before I got repped. And I tried everything from spamming producers through a service to dressing up like Dorothy and hanging out in front of Laundromats handing out scripts. Well, okay, my friends had an intervention before I made it out the door on that one.My point is that yes, getting representation is indeed the opening through which your career can sashay into the exclusive club. It doesn’t guarantee that you will then sell the project or be a real working writer, but you are in the game.

Before you look for a rep, make sure you have accumulated a body of work. An arsenal as some say. Read the how-to books. Take some classes online or in person. The UCLA Writers Program has great online and weekend classes. Also the Writer’s Boot Camp in Santa Monica has online and on-the-ground courses. Give it some time. Then, when you are ready, you just upped the chances of getting a rep by 1000%. Trying to get a rep before you’re ready will ultimately be a blow to your confidence as a writer. You will find yourself on the receiving end of a whole lot of unreturned phone calls and/or dismissive letters. Make sure you and your material are up to snuff.The sixty four thousand dollar question is this: how do you know if your work is good enough to be repped? Have you sought feedback from either professionals in the industry or trusted and literate friends? Have you done everything in your power to improve your writing at every turn? Are you perhaps rushing things and looking for the instant one million dollar spec sale? Slow down, take your time and do your homework.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Writing From the Deepest Part of Yourself

I cannot tell you, Rouge Wavers, how many scripts I read in which it is clear that the writer is every character in the script – if not most baldly, the main character. Very often, younger male writers write scripts which are fantasies about the way they wish their lives were. These are scripts about endless parties, good buddies who are constantly funny and busty, lusty girls and lots of ‘em. But female writers can do it too. Women writers who fall into this trap write some version of a famous man – usually a rock star – who is sexy and sought after but he sees the main character (the writer) for who she is. And he chooses her above all others. It’s a pulp romance fantasy that many women have. And there’s nothing wrong with that fantasy. But it doesn’t make a very interesting script.

That’s the thing: writing a fantasy version of your life and figuring that other people will care is a big mistake. One must differentiate between writing one’s own fantasy, whether that be recreating the past you wish you had or conjuring up an alternative life for yourself if everything was perfect versus writing a story about the human experience. Don’t write about your life, write about life.

In order to have audience appeal, movies need to speak to us as humans. Movies, and the character in them need to be relatable, in other words. But here’s what most novice writers do: You’ve gone through a bitter divorce from your pro wrestling husband. So you write a script about a wonderful, beautiful, talented woman who divorces her jerk of a…wait for it….pro wrestling husband. And trust me on this, the work just won’t sing. Because it’s too personal for you.

Back away from the specificity of your own life and take a deeper, more universal view. If you’ve gone through a divorce, you know about feelings of anger, grieving and new horizons. You know about betrayal and loss and late alimony checks. So how can you translate the feelings generated for you by your particular experience into a story that all audiences can relate to? Here’s a hint: how about story that has nothing to do, specifically with divorce, but rather a story about loss and endings and new beginnings. Use what you know to write about what you feel; what is true for all of us will show up on the page.

When I read Anna Karenina I was amazed, on every page, as I reflected upon Tolstoy’s ability to see inside of a woman’s heart – perfectly. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t that particular experience, being a man and all.

The ability to separate yourself from your work is, in the Wave-inatrix’s opinion, the only truly great gulf that separates real writers from dilettantes. Writers are conduits for stories that seem to come from without. We are translators of the human experience. Many writers have experienced the strange feeling of dialogue just coming through them. I know writers who have penned entire acts of a script and don’t really know how they did it; it was almost trancelike. We have rituals and talismans, we sit in the same way by the same window – we’ll do anything to let that muse pour through us.

My first script was not only completely terrible – I still cringe – but completely self-reflective and ultimately self-aggrandizing. I didn’t realize it at the time. It was only several years later that I looked back and realized why I was really writing that awful script. It was an ode to myself and how cool I am and how I wish love could be. No wonder it sucked. I have since written many more scripts and several short stories. I have had people who have read a short story of mine meet me for the first time and be blown away – wow, I thought you were a man. I thought you were black. I thought you were way younger. Why? Because the story came from points of view that are my own but not at all my own. The story came from outside of me and from within me at the same time.

Think of a mountain stream. The water flows at two different levels; the rushing water on top, crashing against the rocks and splashing and tumbling, and the water which runs much more slowly across the sandy streambed, dappled with sun, where the fish swim. That is where your writing should come from – from that deeper, more universal part of yourself, not from your ego or surface consciousness.

I had a conversation with another consultant recently who is writing a book focused on this very topic. Our discussion was enlivening and elucidatory and I know he is doing writers a great service to really talk about this issue. He speaks of needing to separate from the Self in order to be a truly great writer. As we discussed it, we both agreed that essentially only one thing can get a writer to that place of writing from the deeper part of themselves – experience. But it is my hope that being conscious of the fact that your script just might be self-referential is a step in the right direction. The ability to write about places you’ve never been and people the likes of which you’ve never met is a gift that will serve you for the rest of your life as a writer.

To be able to write about a woman getting a divorce simply because she is a human being experiencing the end of something – even if you are 23 and never been married and are a guy – that is the mark of a writer.

It bears repeating: Use what you know to write about what you feel; what is true for all of us will show up on the page.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

When Does a Movie Billboard Cross the Line?

I think we have all come to be fond of the Mini-W and her sometimes ascerbic, generally pretty wise take on the movies. This is the same child who said at age five that SUNSET BOULEVARD was her favorite movie. So it was with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, one day a few months ago while driving my early teen to school, that I followed her open-mouthed, shaken gaze to a billboard on Santa Monica Boulevard. What movie is that for, mom?

What do you say to your daughter about what is essentially a pornographic snuff/horror film - writ large, in color, on a 30 foot billboard? What does it mean to be a woman? What has entertainment come to?

Just this morning my wonderful writing partner sent me this
link to an article in the Huffington Post, written by Jill Soloway about the frightful, stomach-turning billboards for CAPTIVITY that peppered Los Angeles for a time and what one outraged mother did about it.

Whether your are a parent, or simply a citizen not exactly interested in being unwittingly assaulted by a billboard depicting woman-hating torture whilst walking to get your afternoon Pinkberry, check out the article and then move on to the blog to read more about the issue and to write a letter to the MPAA about the consequences for the makers of CAPTIVITY.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Guest Blog: Copywriter's Rules for Screenwriters

The Wave-inatrix is proud to present Working for the Man, a guest blog by a dear friend and gifted copywriter who weighs in on what he has learned in his career and how it applies to screenwriting:

***

I’m an aficionado of junk mail. Every time I open the mailbox, I look over each pre-approved credit card offer, clothing catalog and sweepstakes entry, carefully judging the headlines and teaser copy and designs, before I shred them. Call it professional courtesy, because as a freelance ad copywriter, most of my work is made to be thrown out, too.

Like any other copywriter, I have other aspirations. After all, there is nothing even remotely noble about what I do. I write to manipulate people. I spend hours crafting words to frighten sick people, to flatter rich people, to make children and their parents unhappy with their toys and to publicize the most menial details of corporate America.

But writing is writing and every word on the page is educational – even something so blatantly mercenary as copywriting. Just the process of subjugating my creative process to someone else’s schedule is itself priceless experience. For example, I was recently asked to write a 2500-word article on a topic I knew nothing about in three days. That’s six weeks worth of work in 72 hours. Under those conditions, inspiration is a luxury. And that’s excellent training for a screenwriter.

But copywriting is also about cutting to the chase, so without further ado, here are my Two Great Copywriter’s Rules for Screenwriters:

Rule #1: The Goal Makes the Rules.

Freelance writing sucks – make no mistake about that. A career in screenwriting is no different from any other kind of freelance writing – you spend half your time trying to get work, half your time trying to get paid for the work you did, and half trying to actually do the work you have. Those numbers don’t add up? Exactly.

Successful freelancers are pragmatic people. Every choice is made in the context of the bigger picture. If I want to take a vacation, I have to make sure that I’ve done enough work beforehand to afford not only the cost of the vacation, but also the cost of the money lost while I’m not working. That is Rule #1 in action. My goal (vacation) makes the rules (extra work beforehand).

For my screenwriting, Rule #1 has been truly liberating. Selling a script to a major studio brings with it certain rules about structure, character, genre, and so on. So does a self-produced indie drama. Don’t waste time railing against the rules. If you’ve learned them well enough, you’ll get where you want to go. Simple as that.

Rule #2: The First Draft of Anything is Garbage.

I used to get very frustrated when my first drafts came back to me covered with so much red ink, they looked like they’d been used to clean up a murder scene. Then I realized something – clients don’t know what they want until they’ve seen what they don’t want. Everything is theoretical until I turn in my draft. Once I do, then it becomes the thing that’s ripped apart by marketing departments and rewritten by micromanaging VPs. But before that? It’s nothing but an idea.

The same is true of screenwriting, except in this case, the “client” is an amorphous mass of people known as Development Execs. But no matter what they’re called, Rule #2 will always apply. In fact, that endless stream of notes is not an indictment of your talent. If anything, it’s an affirmation of it, a testament to the fact that you continue to give them something to think about and deconstruct. Yes, it would be nice to feel like you nailed it on the first try, but that’s simply not possible.

As I said before, writing is writing and every word on the page teaches us something. And though most of my work goes right from mailbox to trash can, copywriting has taught me the two most important things about screenwriting I ever will learn.

Oh – and it’s bought me some beer.

Pete Considine is a self-professed “word whore,” who has written and edited everything from real estate listings to music web sites. He currently works in the glamorous world of educational publishing, where he mostly gazes out the window and dreams of a career in film producing.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

(V.O.) and (O.S.) in Dialogue

(O.S.) indicates that the dialogue of that particular character is heard while the character is nearby but not on camera. In a different room, behind the door, in the closet –whatever. So that you might have:

*****

FRANCIS (28), thinning hair and a potbelly, sits at the chipped kitchen table eating a plateful of something burnt. The radio plays Vince Gil in the background.

Francis: Damn, burnt pork-n-beans again!

Sue-Ellen (O.S.) I heard that!

SUE-ELLEN (32) corpulent and angry enters the kitchen with the remote in hand.

Sue-Ellen: Maybe if you didn’t work at the Dairy Queen we could afford better!

Dad (O.S.) Told you to keep your mouth shut, son!

Sue-Ellen: And I’m so tired of your dad living here! You said it would be one week! That was six years ago!

Dad (O.S.) Bring me a beer when you come back, Sue-Ellen.

Sue-Ellen looks over her shoulder toward the living room.

Sue-Ellen: So help me god I’m gonna kill him one day. When you’re done listening to your radio, go to the cellar and bring me up some dessert.

*****

Or you might do something like:

*****

Francis peers into a dark corner of the cellar when –

Man (O.S.) I’ve been waiting for you.

Francis whirls around and there he is – the Creamsicle Killer!

In that last example, the man was in the same room – but he wasn’t on camera. Using (O.S.) is fun; it can be used in a moment like the one above to scare or surprise the character and it can be used for comic effect as well. But do remember that technically it simply means the character can be heard but not seen. But they are in the vicinity.

(V.O.)

(V.O.) literally means “voice-over” which indicates that the voice of a character is heard and the character is not only not on camera, they are not anywhere around. Well, they might be on camera, silently doing something and you might hear their own voice-over ….Let’s clarify with a few examples:

*****

Francis climbs down the cellar stairs slowly.

Francis (V.O.) In retrospect, I shouldn’t have gone down those stairs. For it was there in the cellar, that I was to meet my greatest fear. I mean - aside from Sue-Ellen.

Francis peers into a dark corner of the cellar when –

Man (O.S.) I’ve been waiting for you.

Francis turns chalk-white and stumbles backward a step -

Francis (V.O.) Suddenly, I no longer cared about Sue-Ellen, or my job at Dairy Queen or anything at all. For I knew that I had a bonafide killer right before my eyes. All I hadda do was talk him into leaving me alone and going upstairs. Then all my problems would be over.

Francis: I got beer up in the kitchen? You want one?

*****

Now, there are those who get all pink-faced and hysterical when it comes to discussing using that kind of voice-over. Spittle flies and they shake all over. Don’t do it! It’s expositional! It’s one of the first things a reader or exec will PASS! Rouge Wavers, in my experience, having read hundreds of scripts both by complete novices and much more experienced writers, I have yet to see a gross violation of expositional voice-over. Obviously avoid telling your whole story that way. Use voice-over judiciously, use it to achieve an effect but don’t get all hysterically pedantic about not using it either. It is the opinion of the Wave-inatrix that those aspiring screenwriters with major don’t-use-voice-over issues need to find a hobby like knitting or perhaps scuba diving.

But. (V.O.) is used in many other instances. Again, remember (O.S.) means the character is unseen but nearby. (V.O.) unless we’re using the example above, means the character is nowhere around but we can hear their voice. So we might have:

*****

Bob drives down a long, dark country road. He turns up the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Yep, that’s right folks, the Creamsicle Killer was spotted at the Dairy Queen just yesterday so watch your tootsies.

Click. Bob turns off the radio and grins.

Bob: (to himself) And that was a damn fine burger, too.

*****

Oh – got a wrylie in there, or more properly, a parenthetical – but we’ve covered that.

All right, so the radio announcer was a (V.O.) because we’re hearing him but not seeing him. What if we see him too? Well, then he’s not (V.O.) anymore, is he?

*****

Bob drives down a long, dark country road. He turns up the radio.

RADIO ANNOUNCER (V.O.) Yep, that’s right folks, the Creamsicle Killer was spotted at the Dairy Queen just yesterday so watch your tootsies.

Click. Bob turns off the radio and grins.

Bob: (to himself) And that was a damn fine burger, too.

INT. RADIO STATION – SIMULTANEOUS

The RADIO ANNOUNCER takes off his headphones and rubs his forehead.

Radio Announcer: Hope to god they catch that monster.

The phone rings. He picks up.

Radio Announcer: KFRK. What can I do you for?

Man (V.O.) It is I. The Creamsicle Killer.

*****

See? The caller is (V.O.) because – why? – Right, because we can hear him but he’s not on camera.

Now, some fancy pants screenwriters like to use (FILTERED) rather than (V.O.) in these particular instances of phone calls. (FILTERED) sort of emulates or indicates the way a person sounds on the phone – sort of distant and – well, filtered, I guess. Does this work? Is it acceptable? Yes, perfectly. But only for phone calls. And do not combine it with (V.O.) because to indicate both is redundant.

Another (V.O.) instance might be something like:

*****

Bob parks his Oldsmobile and creeps through a cellar window. Safety at last. He finds a dark corner. Ah - a freezer. He opens it. And it's full of Creamsicles.

Radio Announcer (V.O.) So I recommend that folks lock their cellar windows and put away their Creamsicles tonight.

UPSTAIRS

Francis clicks off the radio and turns toward the living room.

Francis: Anyone else feel like a creamsicle?

Sue-Ellen: (O.S.) I told you to get those at the beginning of this blog you idiot! America’s Funniest Home Video’s is comin’ on so hurry!

Francis scoots his chair back and heads for the cellar.

*****

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

How Observant Are You?

Writing good characters is something that does not come naturally to all writers. And yet, it is a very coveted skill in the world of screenwriting. How well do you write characters? Can you tell? What kind of feedback do you get - not on your pages - but in life? Do you listen to people well? Do you really hear what they are saying to you subtextually? Think of the last movie you saw at the theater - who sat on your right? How did they sit? How did they laugh - if they laughed at all. Did they hog the armrest? Did they eat their candy loudly? Did they cry there, in the dark - or would you have noticed?

The ability to write good characters is rooted, fundamentally, in a writer's ability to observe and to mimic other people. In my work, I often see two-dimensional characters; characters who feel like marionettes not people. They mouth words but they don't really mean them. They walk and talk, saying and doing what the writer says they should be doing - they don't seem to have minds of their own. Sometimes, in an effort to make a character more real, a writer will assign that character tics or quirks. But even those seem inorganic and well - assigned.

Human beings are so complex that to fully capture that on the page is a feat beyond imagining. Tolstoy did it, and so did Flaubert. Many writers capture only parts of a character leaving the rest to be filled in by our imaginations which is part of the point of the writing. Take Flannery O'Connor; many of her characters were types - but types that made a point literarily.

In scripts, the closer your character comes to really seeming like a real person, a real person that one would want to spend time with, the better your script will be. You might even have a PASS script but a CONSIDER writer if you can write great characters.

Be honest with yourself; how much time do you spend developing character? Do you make lists of their fears, hopes, attributes, memories and experiences? In many senses, all movies are character driven. Yes there are exceptions but here's the thing; people are fascinated by other people. Why are soap operas a television mainstay? Why do we care ever so much what happens to Paris Hilton? Why do you sit and happily watch other people at the airport, beach or mall? Because the desire to get inside the head of another human being is so very keen.

What are they wearing? What are they thinking? What is it like - seriously - what is it like to be Paris Hilton? What was it like to be Marie Antoinette? If you're a female writer, what's it like to be a man? And vice versa. Use that curiosity when you write your characters; really get inside their heads and explore.

And as a simple exercise as you continue to build all of your writing skills, the next time you are in a public place, take a few minutes and observe what people are wearing, how they do or do not gesticulate or make eye contact. How they touch, hug or hold each other. Or not. How do old people walk? Who smiles at you in passing - who averts their eyes? Watch for chewing with the mouth open, shoveling in food or eating tiny bird-bites. Observe how many people walk around with a totally blank face. Or people who have permanent frowns. Observe. It will pay off when you write.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

You Know How It Is

Recently the Wave-inatrix did something very clever. My partner and I had just finished another psychological thriller. We were going through our usual routine of getting various rounds of feedback from respected peers and colleagues. Four drafts later, I gave the script, under a pseudonym, to a production company reader and friend. I said it was the script of an acquaintance and wondered if he could give it a read. He did - promptly and thoroughly - and his notes were helpful, astute and smarter than hell. But of course - this guy reads at two of the top coolest production companies in town.

Later I broke it to him that it was actually my script. He felt terrible - not because his notes were harsh (he's a professional, after all) but because he felt he didn't put much heart into the notes. I feel terrible - he told me. I though it was just another read of a script by some schmoe in Ohio. You know how it is. Yes, I do know how it is. I don't do much production company reading anymore - my own consulting business keeps me too busy - but I know well the feeling of cranking out a read and a coverage one after the other and the profound feeling of disconnect from the writer or the material. Which is why I decided to go into business for myself and connect with writers and material.

The point is that while it's not really a pleasant truth, writers need to know that when your work is reviewed by a reader at a manager or agents office or lucky you, a production company, it is being read by someone who has become awful inured of the experience. When the reader knows who the writer is - suddenly there's a human face on the project. Which is why I signed up for the less personal experience. I wanted to know, from a top-rated, very experienced reader, what the reaction to my script would be. As it turns out - it wasn't bad. It's just that later, knowing it was me - he wanted to add some suggestions, recommendations and additional comments. Which was great and I consider myself lucky to know such a person.

How does a writer overcome the built-in prejudice that your script is "just another read of a script by some schmoe in Ohio"? Wow the reader on page one. Wake them up from their jaded, somnabulence. Readers love it. They love the delightful surprise that makes their job again interesting and exciting.

Make a summer resolution that you will rededicate yourself to your craft and to developing a voice, Wavers. Download five scripts this month upcoming and read them. Offer to read the scripts of friends. Don't be some schmoe with a script that has put a reader to sleep before they reach page two. Don't be some schmoe that readers crack jokes about. Be aware that this is what you're up against and upset the dominant paradigm by wowing a reader, so ready to be bored, so ready to not care, with your brilliance.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.

Guest Blog: My First Time

The Wave-inatrix is proud to present a fascinating guest blog appearance by a phenomenally talented client who is preparing to pitch to a major exec at Universal shortly. I'm sure all Wavers wish him luck. And here is the story of this writer's first studio pitch. It's unforgettable.

******
My First Time
by N.

So here I am, 24 years old and I have never done it. But that was about to change. I get a call from my agent; he tells me he has a “gig” for me. He thinks I’ll be perfect for it.

“I have a strip-o-gram, for you tomorrow at Sony Studios. You are supposed to pretend you’re there to pitch a script. Are you available?” Normally, I don’t do strip-o-grams. There is something very uncomfortable about dancing around in butt floss under fluorescent lights for a mixed crowd (men and women). Usually, I only did club shows or bachelorette parties, which were always at night for women only and everyone was drunk. But when I’m not stripping, I’m writing. Without hesitation, I reply, “What time?”

“1:30pm. Just make up a story, talk for a few minutes, then go in to your routine. Chris ***** is the VP of development at Sony. He will be your contact. His assistant Lisa, is turning 27. He wants to surprise her, and hey who knows maybe you could get him to read one of your scripts?”

CUT TO: I’m in the room. Chris, the VP of development, his assistant and a couple of other women are in the room with me. I did everything you’re not supposed to do in a pitch meeting. I started off by making them listen to the song by White Lion, “When the Children Cry”. If any one remembers that song, it’s very depressing, but hey, I’m completely oblivious to any DO’S and DONT’S because I’ve never done this before.

Besides, I’m 24. I think my story is AMAZING, I mean it’s about my brother and me. How could it not be captivating? I’ve always been that guy who could tell a good story. Well, this day was no different. I had their complete attention. I didn’t have any structure to my pitch, hell I didn’t even know what structure was. This was the first script I had ever written, but I believed in the story so much, it didn’t matter. The entire room was wrapped up in my story. I had no fear. I mean come on, in a few minutes I was going to strip down to my butt floss. If I can do that, I can certainly tell a story for a few minutes.

Forty-five minutes later, Chris looks at his watch. A strip-o-gram is only supposed to take at most fifteen minutes. Politely, he gives me that “come on kid, get to the routine” look. Being the brilliant actor that I was, I stop my story and say “Oh, I have another song you need to listen to”. I press play on my boom box, yes I just used the word boom box and Prince’s “The Beautiful Ones” fills the room. I take out a two-dollar rose from my bag, turn around and saunter towards Lisa. We lock eyes. She was probably thinking “what in the hell is this guy doing?” I’m thinking, “My biceps look amazing in this shirt”. I hand her the rose and say “I understand it’s your birthday. Here, this is for you, but you have to dance with me first”. To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

Sorry, I’m not going to get into the details of the routine, this is not about that. This is about the forty-five minutes I spent pitching my script. The forty-five minutes I claimed as mine. The absolute joy I had while sharing my story. The fact that I didn’t let someone’s TITLE make me nervous. I’m not saying spend forty-five minutes pitching your script. We all know short sweet and to the point is usually the best approach. What I’m saying is believe in yourself to the point where you are undeniable. Ok, after it was all said and done, Chris read my script. But that almost didn’t happen. I was in the elevator on my way out, the doors were closing and Chris stops the elevator doors from shutting. He looks at me and says “you wrote that?” “Yes I did.” “Do you have representation?” “No I don’t.” He tells me to step out of the elevator, and then has his assistant get a release form so that I can sign it. Here’s the thing. It was my first script, it was horrible, really horrible. But I will never forget the encouragement I got from Chris. He sent me an official letter from Sony Studios letting me know they were going to pass on the script. In the letter he pointed out that I had a real talent for describing images. He encouraged me to take a writing class, to work my craft and always continue to pursue my dreams. Fifteen years later, I’m still at it. I encourage you to do the same, work your craft and continue to pursue your dreams. And hey, if you get nervous, picture THEM in their butt floss.

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.