The Secrets of Dealing with Adversity

It's that time again, Rouge Wavers! No, not time for a cocktail. Not yet. Give it another hour. Geez. Buncha degenerates!

No, it's time for blog tag! And The Wave-inatrix is "it" thanks to her dear friend Scott at Filmflap. The topic comes from the aptly named Adversity University and is - wait for it - dealing with adversity.

Adversity is something the Wave-inatrix is intimately acquainted with. On a level and to a degree to which I could never have imagined. How do I deal with it? My top five self-soothers are: 1) prayer and meditation 2) swimming laps 3) getting out and seeing movies or friends 4) maintaining perspective by continuing to write and be proactive and 5) making a commitment to be a grateful optimist and not an annoying whiner; you can't lose your support system faster than by abusing it.

There's no two ways about it - it sucks to be going through adversity. You can't deny it or skip it or hit the fast forward button. A book that really helped me through a tremendously difficult time and left me with a new attitude about adversity is Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart.

The book left me with a priceless gift; that it is possible to view adversity from a whole new angle - as an opportunity for growth. When you think about it, it's not very often that things in our lives absolutely fall apart. The Wave-inatrix once lost everything I cared about in the space of an hour. Wow. Talk about free fall.

As you're hurtling straight down into a terrible void of tremendous upheaval or loss, you find that something interesting happens. You stop struggling and look around at the scenery whizzing past and realize - wow - I literally have nothing to lose. And in one of life's great paradoxes, there is something incredibly freeing about that.

So sure, you can have your coping mechanisms - and you should have them - but The Wave-inatrix can speak from deeply painful personal experience and say that accepting adversity as an opportunity is probably the greatest lesson adversity has to give you. It's not easy; human beings are hard-wired to suction cup onto sameness, routine, safety and normalcy with an iron grip. It flies in the face of our dna to let go and experience the free fall. We dwell in the great collective denial of a steadfast truth: adversity is a necessary and inevitable part of life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no ascended master. Adversity sucks. You'll hit the ground and it will hurt. But you won't die. And when you do hit the ground you look around and find yourself in a brand-new landscape. Changed, chastised, wiser and stronger. I wouldn't trade the adversity I have experienced for anything in the world. And the best part is? I no longer fear it.

And now the Wave-inatrix creeps up on and tags:

Manolo the Shoeblogger
Borderline Inappropriate
Development Hell
Uninflected Images Juxtaposed
Living the Romantic Comedy

If you enjoyed this post, follow me on Twitter or subscribe via RSS.