The Mini-W Reviews: Slumdog Millionaire

There are 3 words that define the film Slumdog Millionaire: Best Picture 2008.

Every year the Academy searches for the movie of the year that inspires, that moves the audience, that has impact. This is precisely what Slumdog Millionaire does. Jamal Malik, a contestant on India’s version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” and winner of 10 million dollars, is accused of cheating. He is interrogated and forced to prove how he knows every answer to all of the questions.

Jamal tells of each life experience that he has had, revealing why he remembers each answer, such as who is on the 100 dollar bill. Jamal has led a tragic life. Growing up in the slums of Bombay, and orphaned at a very young age, Jamal and his brother Salim have made it by themselves through unimaginable pain, fear, and poverty.

With amazing accomplishment, heart breaking loss, and unbreakable love, the story of Slumdog Millionaire is one that will go on for a long time. Don’t hesitate to get out of the house, go to the theater, and take the time to watch this movie. Keep in mind that it’s an intense experience, not to be mistaken for a feel-good film. The ticket at the Arclight was so worth it.

I give Slumdog Millionaire five out of five jellybeans.

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Is Your Script Out of Synch?

The zeitgeist, she is a'changin'. Fast. The US has elected the first ever African American President, the economy is in the toilet and the era of W is coming to a shuddering, gasping close. So - what's in the air right now? Hope, high expectations, trepidation, change.

So - what if you are hard at work on an action script about the corrupt US government and it's set in the Middle East? Or what if you're working on a script about famine or rebel warfare in Africa? A romcom about a reality show?

I hate to sound the klaxon horn - but friends, your ship is going DOWN. Not good timing. All done, all old, all out of synch with the zeitgeist.

Up is the new down. Pessimism is out, optimism is in. The war in Iraq is out, a war in Venezuela is in. Terrorism is out, embracing Islam is in. Africa is out, India is in. Chocolate is the new vanilla and sleeping is considered passé.

How do I know all these things? I don't. I just made that all up.

Nobody really knows what the zeitgeist is all about; we're all guessing. But as writers, you need to use your best, most informed guess. Read the newspaper, watch the news, read thoughtful social and political essays online.

But most importantly, if you're writing something that you suspect is out of synch, abandon ship and do it now. Maybe you love and adore the project, maybe it's your passion and hey look, maybe in two or three years the topic will be back in the spotlight again. But if you're trying to set up a career now, you really need your finger on the pulse.

This warning is taken from a true story of a writer who worked hard on what looked and felt like a late 90s action script but he wasn't aware of that, he'd been working on it for so long. He was warned but he didn't listen. He was married to it, he'd worked so hard. He just took it out to some reps he had connections with. And he got slammed hard for being behind the times. I imagine right about now he is on a bender. I would be.

Don't let this happen to you.

My writing partner and I wrote a thriller which went out almost two years ago. We got plenty of praise for the writing but the subject matter was considered too much. It's about to go out again because a couple of movies like it paved the way and did well. So out of the drawer and back onto the pavement for that material. And that could happen to you as well. Take a look at your inventory and what you're working on now and put your energy into really nailing the zeitgeist as best as you can.

Zeitgeist is all about what is in the air and on the horizon. What are we collectively worried about or anticipating? What kind of new medical technology is on the cusp of changing our lives? How is the tectonics of world socio-economics shifting right now? Away from what and toward what? What is the new coin of the realm on a global level? How are families earning their living right now - how will they in ten years? Where is Facebook leading us?

Zeitgeist. Not only stay on top of it - get ahead of it. Use your imagination. That's what writers do. Now get back to work.

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In The First Person

Rouge Waver Steve Axelrod returns to us once again with a fun first person essay. Please, Wavers, stretch your muscles and write something other than scripts. If you'd like to write a 500-750 word first person essay and see it on the Rouge Wave, contact me and if I love it, you're good to go.

***
Mutant Powers for Grown-ups, #1: Epiphany Man

Here’s a question: what’s the most annoying thing about a annoying person? It’s not necessarily what they do. It’s what they think about what they do. It’s their attitude. A standard piece advice for beginning fiction writers is that the villain should always believe he’s the good guy. There’s a reason for that. The villain actually does believe he’s the good guy. That’s the creepiest thing about him.

We’ve all known the obnoxious motor-mouth who actually believes she’s ‘a good listener’ despite the fact that she hasn't shown a heat-lightning flicker of interest in anyone else’s life in decades, and can keep acquaintances on the phone literally for hours with the operatic drama and traumatic details of her own. One of these people marched into my apartment twenty minutes after I had found out that my father died, stared at the shell-shocked group on the couch and started talking about her day at work. When my girlfriend explained the situation, this lunatic said “Oh,” – just a little pot-hole in the road to swerve around --and then re-launched: “So, anyway, the all the cooks hate me and they won’t give me my orders and then I have to explain that to the customers, I mean without seeming rascist or whatever, and when I try to talk about it I just get the cold shoulder. The one guy? His name’s Raoul? He actually had the nerve to say …” and on and on.

We just stared at her, dumbfounded.

And I realized that this woman had no idea of how she sounded, or what we were thinking at that moment, or to be more inclusive, who she really was: her nature, the truth of her character. Alcoholism is not the only mental disorder whose primary symptom is denial.

One of these Olympic level marathon talkers accidentally heard an answering machine tape of a phone message – not even a live call, just a message, in which he was going on and on, ceaseless as a cicada, tedious as a cricket, subtle as a woodpecker – and he was appalled.

But it was soon forgotten, that’s the point.

The only lasting value to that brief moment of clarity was it made me realize what the coolest mutant power would be. Not shooting beams from my eyes, or levitating objects, or growing metal claws out of my fingers. No, my power would be much more devastating. With a single blast I would make people see themselves with absolute clarity. Not who they think they are, but who they really are. On top of that they would get some vivid consensus flash of the way other people see them. The jerk who thinks he’s admired and efficient and envied … kind of a Renaissance man, actually … gets the blast and suddenly realizes, not for a second like the friend with the phone message, but permanently, as an absolute reconfiguration of the synapses, that he is in fact an inept blowhard, a bully and a fool; that people despise him and laugh at him behind his back. That his name itself has come to be a kind of joke, a slang word for an incompetent bungler who thinks he can do everything perfectly.

Iceman can encase you in a block of hardened snow; I think my power would be far more paralyzing.Cyclops can hit you with a bolt of sheet energy from his eyes; but you can recover from that attack.

Once you realize the truth, there’s no going back. Remember the first time you saw the flash in the upper right hand corner of the movie screen just before the reel change? Someone had to point it out to me. But now I always see it, and I always will.

Maybe my victims will take this knowledge and change. Maybe they’ll just get some kind of aneurism and collapse. Maybe they’ll spend a year or two whimpering in the fetal position. There’s no way to tell – I can’t predict that.

Hey, I’m just the messenger.

The classic Twilight Zone ending to the story of this power is that I blast someone, they move unexpectedly and it turns out they were standing in front of a mirror. The blast ricochets right back at me and I see I’ve turned into a pompous, power-crazed tyrant, myself.

So I never unleash the power again. Too bad, because the world could really use it.

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Why the Classics Matter

Hello, Wavers, and happy inexplicably named "black Friday" - the day when shoppers rush in hordes to shopping malls for day-after-Thanksgiving-bargains. I read that a man was trampled by a crowd at a Walmart in Long Island. What must the aliens looking down upon us think...

I had a great meeting the other day, as I mentioned, and my writing partner and I are doing a quick rewrite of a thriller so we can get it out on the market as soon as possible. So mama is busy and a bit overwhelmed which is why I am cutting and pasting my reply on the Rouge Wave II, about a question regarding whether watching the classics helps a writer's skill set. Short answer: It doesn't. If you haven't joined the RWII, I urge you to, since it is a fun and informative forum where you can have more and more detailed conversations between yourselves, without silly old me having to approve each comment.

*****



..."I'm just curious what you think the classics adds to the writing skills?"

Seeing the classics doesn't add to your writing skills. It adds to your breadth of knowledge about the medium itself. The history, trends and politics of film. The careers of iconic stars and directors. If you haven't seen Psycho, then you haven't seen what was at that time a seminal thriller.

Everything is ultimately repeated; you need to know what has come before you so that you don't unwittingly write something derivative. Conversely, if you've seen the classics you are able to write something that is in part an homage to another film, borrowing from and updating the thematic or dramatic gist of it.

Seeing the classics and being articulate about them has other advantages: When you take meetings with people in the industry, you'll quickly find that they HAVE seen the classics, and an inability to reference these cultural touchstones within this specific industry will be a handicap on many levels, the most obvious of which is that you will come off as a dilettante with only a surface interest in film.

In meetings, other films, past and present, usually come up in conversation. Do you want to come off as a person who just doesn't care and who hasn't bothered to do your homework? Or do you want to come off as a person with a knowledge, respect and love of the medium? The answer is obvious.

And lastly, the classics offer GREAT performances, GREAT stories and GREAT entertainment. There's so much more at the video store than the new releases.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, Wavers - the day when all Americans eat impossible amounts of food while watching parades and football. The day when we all give thanks to the uh - what was it now? Pilgrims? No, no, the Indigenous People who helped them through a tough winter. And how did we thank those Indians? Oh, uh....yeah. Pass the gravy.

Put on those crazy Pilgrim hats and eat to your heart's content, Wavers. For tomorrow is another day. A day with cold turkey leftovers, yes, but another day. Take this day to hang out with your family or chosen family and be grateful for the fact that you have a gift and a passion - writing. That makes you pretty extraordinary and don't you forget it. Even with all the trials and travails, the frustration and the heartbreak of trying to break into Hollywood, you can do something that 99.9% of the population cannot - you can pour your soul onto paper in an entertaining way.

Thank you Wavers for coming back to the Rouge Wave in droves day after day. For that I am truly thankful because you make it all worthwhile.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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7 Movies in 4 Days

The Mini-W and I like movies. We like them a lot. We go to the video store and just about sweep our arms over shelves and take anything and everything. We figure we saw about 30 movies last summer. And those are just video rentals. We lost count of those we saw at the theaters. Some of the movies below, you're going to say HELLO oh my god, I saw that thirteen years ago! Well, yeah, but that's the point of our video store pillaging - if we haven't seen it, we see it. We are voracious movie omnivores and we bet that if you went to the video store and looked at every shelf we could probably go toe-to-toe with the greatest of cinefiles when it comes to classics. So we're playing catch up on other stuff and we love it. If we hate the movie, who cares, we order in Chinese and go to the next one.

Last weekend, we managed to see:

Artificial Intelligence AI: Wow. Fascinating premise. We were glued to the screen. Very cool and touching and then - geez - a sex robot combined with a fairy tale motif? Wha-? What a red hot mess it devolved into. Too bad. Very disappointing.

12 Monkeys: Wow! We loved it! Why is Brad Pitt so good at playing lunatics? Others said it was convoluted and confusing but we found it relatively easy to follow. We *heart* Bruce Willis and Madeline Stowe was okay too. Fun discussion about the nature of reality afterwards.

The Strangers: GREAT horror flick; scared us to pieces even though Mom had read the script about three years ago and knew what was going to happen. A knock on the door was never so terrifying. Simple, frightening, memorable. Mini-W and Mom have canceled vacation at cabin by lake.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay: Oh, lord. Funny moments but not as funny as the first installment of H & K. Gross-out factor: High. Intelligence and wit: Also high. Strange combination. Best moment: when Neil Patrick Harris sees the unicorn in the background as a policeman is interrogating him. But drugs are bad. Just say no.

Journey to the Center of the Earth: Uh - well - we do like Brendan Fraser and there were some pretty cinematic moments. Too bad we didn't have 3-D glasses but we got the gist. Seems like this could have been GREAT when it was only okay. This movie is aimed at fourth graders - which is fine by us but we're too old. Mom remembers when she was working at Walden Media and they were casting for the kid. A SEA of young boys around age 12 were crowding the lobby with their moms in tow. Mini-W unimpressed by this remembrance.

Role Models: Saw this in the theater. The Mini-W thought it was funny and cute, Mom sat in silence, anticipating a big laugh but never getting it. I thought it was under-cooked, trite and obvious and am surprised at the "hilarious" reviews I have heard from my friends who have seen it. Not that funny, not that cute. Could have been so much better. Disagreement solved by going out to a delicious lunch and putting the experience behind us.

Slumdog Millionaire: Wow! Dark! Dark and wow! Epic! Colorful! Unforgettable. The Mini-W and I are big Danny Boyle fans and love how he genre hops. Not exactly a feel-good movie and yet ultimately a totally feel-good movie. We give the Bollywood ending five out of five jelly beans.

Movies Mom is looking forward to: MILK and AUSTRALIA (five words: Hugh with his shirt off). Movies the Mini-W is looking forward to seeing: SAW V (video rental from which mom will be conspicuously absent) and UNBORN.

So there's a holiday weekend coming up, Wavers. You don't have to hit the theaters if you don't want to - it's going to be crazy-crowded. But hit the video store and load up. Particularly load up on movies in the genre you love best and make sure to see any and all movies that bear any resemblance whatsoever to what you're writing right now. If you haven't seen the classics, stoop down low on the shelf, toward the bottom, and load up on those. If you want to be a screenwriter, you have no excuse if you don't see a lot of movies on an ongoing basis.

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Receiving Feedback

Yesterday I trotted out an oldie but a goodie - how to give a friend or peer notes in a way that is constructive. Today's oldie but goodie is about something ultimately far more important - receiving notes. Because if you're lucky enough to have an agent, manager or production company exec like your script enough to want to meet you, believe me, they'll have notes for you. I've taken notes many, many times and in fact I have a very cool meeting tomorrow morning on one of the thrillers my writing partner and I wrote. Are we ready to take notes? Of course we are. We're professionals and we've done this many times. We only want one thing: a better script and a sale. So bring it. We're ready. We listen to it all and we make the changes required to get buyers interested. It's not about us - it's about the material.

So without further ado - here's a post from January, 2007:

***

You just didn’t get it! That’s what a fair percentage of writers say when they don’t like the notes they receive. Yeah, they didn’t get your subtextual meaning, sheer brilliance or thematic meaning.

This to a consultant, exec or agent who has read upwards of a thousand plus scripts.

Well try this on for size: That’s right. They didn’t get it. Because it wasn’t on the page.

I have noticed a trend: the more experienced the writer is, the easier notes go down. Because experienced writers know how to handle receiving notes. It is the inexperienced writers who shriek like the Wicked Witch of the West after the bucket of water has been thrown on her. Or you sometimes get the quiet, disgruntled writer. Oh. I see. Well. I worked really hard on that. I guess you just - wait for it – didn’t get it.

Handling notes is easy when you can remember one simple thing. It’s not about you. It’s about the story. If you don’t have to kill some darlings then you may not be getting totally honest notes. Want to know how to handle notes better? Here’s how: Just write all the notes down. Don’t judge them, don’t get your hackles up, just nod and scribble. If you are in a meeting situation you may need to dialogue about the notes right there in the moment. But you may also receive notes from a consultant or a friend who was nice enough to read your script.

There are different kinds of notes. Notes about set up (I didn’t buy that the character was really all that desperate). Notes about logic (how could the murderer have been in all those places at once?). Notes about tone or genre (I know it was supposed to be a comedy but I didn’t laugh.) Notes about execution (I got confused. Was the murder in space or on earth?). Notes about the premise itself (I feel like the story was very familiar to me).

Notes are not personal attacks. Notes are opportunities for you, the writer, to improve your story. Set your ego aside and get selfish. Yes, selfish. Do you want the best script ever? Grab those notes, wring them out and see what you can use to improve your script. Check your ego, kill your darlings and don’t get defensive.

Some of the hardest notes to handle are the outright suggestions: Why don’t you make the husband a cross-dresser? What if the killer is from Poughkeepsie? Oh! I know! If you make the lion a hippo, it would be *way* scarier! The way to handle notes like this is exactly the same. Nod and write them down…

Because what you are going to do later (and it’s not only permissible it’s wise not to have answers right there in the moment) is look at your notes and separate them by element. This note is a character issue. This note is a tone issue. This note is a premise or logic issue. This note is structural in nature. Take an inventory – do your notes all have something in common? Maybe your structure is not working. Maybe your characters need a lot more development. Some of the notes will feel vague and you won’t be sure how to interpret them. But here’s how you can try. If the note is something like – it would be really cool if the killer attacked the police woman in this scene! This note probably translates to there’s not enough exciting action in this segment of the script. If the note is – I didn’t buy that the character really *had* to find the treasure. This note is about character motivation and set up.

Make sure you do some quality control when seeking notes. Get notes from experienced writers and get notes from some regular folks – who are smart and like movies. Don’t get notes from your cousin Jimmy or your mom. They won’t be helpful. Absolutely, no matter what, you will get some notes that are ridiculous. That’s okay. Write them down, categorize and evaluate them – and toss them out. This is your story after all. If you use a consultant, you shouldn’t really get any completely ridiculous notes. If the consultant is any good, the notes will be fairly organized and generally spot-on. Yes, personality comes into it. Some people just won’t like your script. Full stop. They don’t like the genre, the type of humor or a particular character. A professional won’t have those personal issues; they will remain objective and judge the script in a mechanical way.

An interesting litmus test is this: if the note really upsets you? Take a hard look at that note. Sleep on it. What is pinging for you? Why are you feeling defensive? Nine times out of ten it’s because the note is spot on but the issue at hand is a darling and you’ll be damned if you’ll kill it. These are the most valuable notes of all. The ones that really get to you.

So here’s the primer on receiving notes:

• Breathe it out – don’t take it personally. That’s rule one.
• Nod and scribble. Write it all down.
• Sort out the notes, look for a pattern.
• Interpret notes that weren’t clear to you. Look for the underlying note.
• Thank the note giver and buy them a drink. They deserve it. If you react with graciousness and sincerity – they might just read for you again.
*If you're receiving notes from an agent, manager or exec, discuss them calmly, sort out the most important ones, dialogue about them and go home and make it happen tout suite.

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Giving Good Feedback

Well it's the Monday before Thanksgiving and many of you may already be packing your bags to visit Ye Olde Relatives. I'm not going anywhere but things are definitely very quiet here in Los Angeles - we are about to enter a period of hibernation - the holidays. On the one hand, yes, business slows, but on the other hand, this is the time when many jr. execs and assistants are manning the phone since they are lowest on the totem pole and guess what - these are the people you want to befriend. Things are less hectic and this could be a time when you can get your script read by some hungry assistants with time on their hands. Things are never slow for me - if I'm not busy doing one thing I'm busy doing another. The Rouge Wave is approaching its second anniversary and there are literally hundreds of posts in the archive. So this week, unless I get terribly, terribly inspired, I will be trotting out some oldies but goodies. Here is a post from March, 2007:

***

Giving feedback is not only good karma, it is paying it forward. When you next need feedback, you’ll have someone to ask. Giving constructive feedback is an art. And it is an art that will serve you well as a writer.

We’ve all been burned by bad feedback. Rude, insensitive, bossy, arrogant, wrong-headed, cruel even. Oh, I have some bad memories of that. I gave my very, very first script to a demi-friend and he said he thought it was “pablum”. I’ll save you the Google look up: Trite, insipid, or simplistic writing, speech, or conceptualization.

He was probably right – it was my first script – ever. I was lucky to have slug lines and page numbers, actually. But he went straight for the jugular. That comment hurt me deeply and really took the wind out of my sails for some time. That hasn’t been my only bad experience but obviously the story has stuck with me.

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. You put your heart and soul into the script, for months and weeks. And now somebody is going to pass judgment. Writers awaiting feedback are in a very vulnerable position. Yes, yes, we have to have thick skin but writers are sensitive, let’s face it. This is not a new toilet we have installed – our stories are our hearts.

We don’t give feedback to be right or superior or better. We do it to be constructive and productive. Given, I do this every single day; it’s my day job. So I’m pretty good at it. But if this is not normal for you, reading a script and giving notes, just remember to give feedback in the same way you’d want to receive it. Most people upon hearing that will say – well, I want the honest truth. Rouge Wavers – most people can’t handle the truth. That doesn’t mean you should obfuscate – it just means you should always deliver your opinion with kindness and professionalism.

Tips for feedback:

Do it often; develop a support system with peers you respect

Don’t promise to read a script and give feedback if you really don’t have time

Do read it promptly once you have it

Do ask your friend what they want out of this read. You’d be surprised at the different answers. Tailor your notes to the needs and wants of the writer.

Do start on a positive note. If you can only think of one thing – stress it

Don’t throw out your own suggestions – this is not your script; you’ll derail the creative process

Do frame concerns in a “what if” question. (What if you tried this? What if you tried that? I wonder what would happen if this?)

Do understand what the writing is going for or trying to achieve

Don’t chide the writer for failing to execute the idea well; that’s why you’re reading it, ding-dong. If they thought it was perfect, they wouldn’t ask

Do limit your comments to things like: logic, characters, stakes, ticking clock, and pacing; don’t go all McKee/Campbell on your friend. I feel the subplot doesn't connect to the inner need of the protagonist and this is not reflected thematically in the arc of the dynamic character who has reached statis but must find Euclydian balance before the elixir can motivate the shapeshifter. Very annoying.

Do write your notes down and summarize them.

Don’t do page edits and correct typos unless requested. This is also muy annoying.

I hate to repeat it but my friends: never read a script so you can put it down and then feel better about yourself. Say it with me. NEVER read a script with that attitude. Why? It’s bad karma and it will come back to you like a boomerang and whack you upside the head. And at least as importantly, reading with a superior or authoritative attitude deprives you of the learning experience built in to giving feedback.

Good feedback is kind, thorough and timely. It is professional and focused. It leaves the writer feeling challenged to do better but great about their strengths. Even if that just means the location they chose was cool. Give your feedback relative to the skill set of the writer. Never lie or obfuscate. Just serve it up gently.

Ask questions of the material rather than dictating your own concepts. Giving the writer your own ideas only derails or co-opts the writer’s creative process – and in my view, this is a huge trespass. It isn’t your script. If the writer wants brainstorming they’ll ask for it. Even then lead the writer toward realizations or ideas. Part of the process of becoming a better writer is revving up your brain with all those juices and problem solving yourself. Writing by committee is the fast track to obsolescence. Even if you think you're helping by making very specific suggestions (unless requested, I can't stress that enough - it happens) really you are hijacking someone else's material and it's just not cool.

Go forth now, Rouge Wavers – go forth and give feedback. Make me proud.

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The Field of Dreams

It's so fun when you are working on your script and you think - this would be PERFECT for Diane Lane and Owen Wilson or Laura Linney and Ryan Gosling. An actor with the right look, an actor who seems to relish this type of role and whose work you have enjoyed in the past. I actually find it quite helpful to write your characters with an actor in mind; that way you can more clearly imagine their speech cadence, gestures and movements.

Yesterday I had lunch with a VP of production at a very cool feature film production company (and he'll be doing a guest blog soon). And we talked nuts and bolts about production and specifically, a particular script. As we talked about packaging and casting of this material, we ran into that rock in the creek - well, that actor's last two movies didn't do so well. The studio wouldn't like him/her in a package. Or - that actor already has another project like this one. That actor is good but not as bankable as X other actor. That actor is in rehab and we can't get insurance.

A glimpse into the locker room and at the strategy board is daunting. And that's just the actors - then there's budget, attaching a bankable director and the whole, complex, difficult game of, as this VP put it, "running the ball down the field and getting it in the net."

The distance between you writers out there writing a script, getting that script repped and then getting the movie made is vast. Getting the movie sold much less produced is not a genteel game of cricket - it's rugby, Wavers. Down and dirty. Intense. Constantly shifting.

But, as my friend and colleague pointed out - "a good script is more imperative now than ever."

So. Stuff to think about. You, the writer, are the center - you hike the ball to the quarterback, the agent. And the production company executive is the running back who is going to try to get the ball down the field and over the goal posts. Okay I know I'm now mixing up about twelve sports up here, but you get it. The script is the ball. The ball must get over the goal post or into the net.

Nobody is going to get all beat up and bruised in this wild game of running down the field to get the movie made unless you have written a great script. Why would they? Everybody wants to make money and to enhance their careers but it all comes down to your script. Without the pigskin, we all go home and there's no game.

You will be a happier, more successful and informed writer if you understand the strategy of the game. It starts and ends with the script but there's a whole lot of people and agendas and politics between the script being written and a movie being made. Take it upon yourself to learn everything you can about how the game is played.

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Short Scene Finalist WINNER

By popular vote, Jeff Undsman, scribe of the hilarious Animal House has won the Rouge Wave Short Scene Competition. Thank you everyone who submitted your scenes and congratulations to Jeff and the other two finalists for such entertaining work! Thank you too, loyal Rouge Wavers, for taking the time to read and vote for the top three finalists. The Rouge Wave couldn't possibly be the fun, interactive blog that it is without your readership and participation.

Jeff, please contact the front desk to collect your prize!

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Diagnosing Your Script: The Charmin Effect

So I have read - oh gosh - a thousand scripts? Fifteen hundred? I have no idea anymore, I've stopped counting. These days I take it easy; I don't read all that much, maybe 3 to 4 scripts a week. And more than ever, I realize the value of having another pair of eyes on a script. What to me is obvious - a weak complication, two-dimensional character or front-loaded script - to you is a nagging mystery until I point it out. Because after spending so much time with one script, you can't see the forest for the trees. And I don't blame you.

The only thing I have that you don't have is perspective and a thousand scripts under my belt. I have not stared at your script day in and day out for six months. I have not lived with your characters. I am like a doctor. I sit your script down on the exam table and I look at what's there in the here and now. And it might hurt juuuust a little. Close your eyes if you don't like needles or a whack on the knee. But I always send my patients back home with a lollypop and a smile.

It takes a lot of courage to go to the doctor. We all want to get a clean bill of health. But people come to The Script Department because they have a weird itch, limp or rash and they don't know why. We all want to hear we're going to be fine and that there's nothing we have to change or worry about. We all want to hear that if we take the doctor's advice, we WILL win the marathon or gold medal. But the doctor can make no guarantees. Only diagnose and send you home with a prescription.

If I had to name the most common script problems I see, the problems I point out over and over and over each week, I would have to say The Charmin Effect.

DIAGNOSIS of the CHARMIN EFFECT
Soft character arcs, soft premise and soft structure.

What does "soft" mean, exactly? It means that there's too much subtlety in whichever element. As we are all aware, in real life, things are often complex and multi-layered and things almost never resolve neatly. Complications and reversals can land on us like a ton of bricks or they can accrete over time. In real life we muddle through our problems and we are quite good at not allowing anything to force us to change. Some of us literally never change.

In the movies, however, audiences crave resolution, for one thing, and they need to see things writ large. Now, of course there is a difference between character arc in a movie like THE SAVAGES and in a movie like THE MUMMY; you have to service your genre appropriately.

Soft premise, soft character and soft structure - these things are all related. It's all the same problem. Not going BIG enough. Put it another way: not enough going on in the premise to warrant a whole feature script, passive main character and complications and act breaks which don't move the story forward in a significant way. This all combines to create a boring script, or the BOSH script - bunch of stuff happens. Kiss of death, my friends. Flat line on the monitor.

CAUSE
A soft premise is the result of fear of conflict not really thinking the premise all the way through. Writers get stuck in their heads sometimes and tell a story which has mild emotional and usually autobiographical interest to them but not to anyone else. A woman inherits a house from her grandmother and learns that like her grandmother, she loves photography. Wha-? Movies are about conflict. Major conflict. Movies are uncomfortable and filled with tension. In real life most of us avoid conflict like the plague. But the movies are centered on it. Writing a script is a time to scrap being polite, proper or careful. Movies are conflict.

Newer writers are too easy on their characters because they model them too closely after themselves or people they know. But your character is not you or a friend - a character is a symbol that represents Jealousy, Power, Innocence, Betrayal, Justice or Heartbreak. Writers are often loathe to be too hard on their characters. They like them too much to give them a meaningful, active flaw. They start them out pretty nice and they wind up nicer. Characters must have an arc of change and they can't wind up changed if they started out pretty okay in the first place. Something has to be majorly amiss in your character on page one. Not a little amiss like they are shy and want a date. That's boring. We all want a date. Go. Bigger.

Soft structure is bound, hand and foot to soft premise and soft character arcs. You cannot separate these three elements. If you're too soft on your characters, the turning points and complications will be soft too. Your pages will just blur in to one another with nothing significant moving the story forward. And you wind up with a script with the consistency, color and flavor of oatmeal instead of a script with the consistency, color and flavor of paella.

THE CURE
Don't avoid conflict - seek it out. Take the gloves off. Don't be so polite and so careful. Writing is a down and dirty occupation and don't let anybody tell you any different.

Write down your premise line. Do you have an antagonist? A crux of CONFLICT, major turning points and a big sacrifice or choice the main character will have to make? Stare at your premise line. Is it going to get anyone outside your immediate family excited? Does it have a hook and a unique concept?

It takes courage to Go Big in your script. Writers are afraid to really think bigger and sometimes they are too lazy to do the work. That's right, I said it. Too lazy. Where is the backstory for your character? Where is the outline for your script? Where is the killer logline that you should have worked out before you started writing the script? Laziness, timidity and a loathing to really put your characters through the wringer is the reason that the word "soft" would apply to so many scripts.

I know most writers don't have the access to read a thousand scripts in order to gain the perspective that lends a person. But you have the Rouge Wave and a million other resources. Ask yourself if you're really writing about conflict, change and catharsis. Not kind of - but truly.

Watch movies that are in any way similar to your script idea. Push the pause button when you think you spot a major complication. Look at the timer on your dvd player - notice that it's right about 10, 25 and 50 minutes into the movie that these things happen? Gain some cajones, Wavers - are you writing about conflict or are you writing about CONFLICT? Are you being too easy on your main character? Is your premise SERIOUSLY worth several million dollars to make? Who would the audience be for this movie? You and your family? Or millions of people all around the world?

Writers who are unafraid to really go there - whether in the premise and in the execution or whether that means going to the doctor to find out how they did - are writers who have a million times more chance of actually having a writing career than a writer who is stuck in his or her head, too timid and too vacuum-sealed to get outside perspective and to push their characters harder and further than they thought possible - or nice - or convenient.

It's up to you whether you take the cure. We are not all getting in shape for a sprint here, that's the good news. This is a marathon. So you've made some mistakes. So what. It's never too late to get it together so you can really compete with the thousands of scripts that flood into Hollywood every single day.

Bigger, better, faster, more. It's the way of the movies.

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The Assistant Files

A little confession: I couldn't think of a topic to write about today. I searched dark corners of my brain for something, anything, about an assistant's life that you might find interesting. But there was nothing.

And then I happened to be on the phone with a genuine literary agent, and I thought, "Now there's a head writers might want to get inside!" So I asked him, "Awesome Lit Agent, if you could give some advice to the up-and-coming screenwriters of the world, what would it be?"

His response? "Where do I start!"

And then I waited while he laughed at his own joke. But THEN he actually did offer some advice on three things your script can do to catch his eye and turn him in your favor right away: have a good title, hit the important structural beats, and have a great opening sequence.

Remember how we talked about building trust in a query letter? It's sort of the same thing. He's looking for some indication that your script won't make him want to beat his head on his desk.

Said the agent, "Let's be honest, my instincts are to do as little work as possible." And he has plenty of scripts to read, work to be done. So he's going to put your script through a few checkpoints before he commits to giving it a real read. First you have to grab him with the title. Then he'll flip through to see if the inciting incident, act breaks, and midpoint show up at the appropriate times. And then he'll read the first three pages to see if you've established the tone, if the writing is fresh and clear, and if it seems like a story worth telling.

And if you meet all those requirements, he'll give you until about page ten to really hook him in. Time is money, folks. If the first ten pages don't compel him to read the rest, he's on to the next script in the pile.

Now keep in mind that this isn't ALL he's looking for in a script. But imagine it's Sunday night, and he has a stack of scripts he has to get through before tomorrow's meeting where they'll discuss the weekend read. He's going to survey the selection and prioritize. Sometimes other factors come into play: "Oh, this is the one that the senior agent was pushing (moves to the top). Hmm, this is the one from my mom's dry cleaner (moves to the bottom)." But if you're one of the rest of the scripts in the bunch, these three things he's mentioned can help get you closer to the top of the pile. Which is good, because you know he's not getting through that whole mountain of scripts on Sunday night, that's for sure. Not with Entourage to watch. So the closer you can get to the top, the better your chances of getting read now, rather than trying your luck in next weekend's heap.

There you go, Wavers. Apparently agents don't just schmooze in expensive Beverly Hills restaurants all day, they also read scripts. I braved the Armani suits and finger guns to get this information. Don't say I never did anything for you.

xxoo,
Andy Sachs

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Investing in Yourself

Are you like me? Do you tend to spend money on the necessities, then loved ones, then any other obligation but yourself? I'll spend $150 on taking a manager out to a nice dinner, or buying a good friend a fancy gift or attending a business-related event - but $150 for a gym membership? Ohhhh that is steep. Or how about spending $75 on a massage to help deal with stress and tension? Noooo I'm tough. And I need to send so-and-so flowers as a thank you for a meeting.

But Wavers, we need to put ourselves first. If mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy. It's amazing how much money we drop easily on dinner out or gifts for others but do you have a budget set aside for yourself? Are you really taking care of yourself and setting aside the money to invest in your screenwriting career, specifically? Even if your family doesn't quite understand? Do you have the budget set aside for screenwriting books, software, dvds, receiving notes or going to screenwriting events? Can you set aside maybe $2500 a year for all of that stuff? In the big picture, I bet you can. I'm amazed at how much money I drop unconsciously on all sorts of stuff. But that stuff is generally about and for anyone but me, personally.

To touch briefly upon my Unified Unicorn Theory of Life, I find that when I feel good about spending money, it shows up for me. But when I am in scarcity mode, it does not. It's about making a mental adjustment, Wavers, about how important you and your happiness are and knowing, for sure, that you deserve to fulfill your ambitions and that spending money on you and your screenwriting aspirations is as important as spending money on Aunt Clara's birthday gift. Stake a claim for your personal ambitions. Know that you are important and that what you are doing here is important and the money will show up. You'll never look back from your deathbed and regret the people you met, the classes you took or the experiences you had with your writing.

In my opinion, at the very top of your list of Me Money, should be the CS Expo. The Expo is an annual event sponsored by Creative Screenwriting Magazine, for those of you unfamiliar with the event. It is the premiere screenwriting conflagration to end all conflagrations.

It generally takes me two or three days to recover from being at events like the CS Expo, Fade In Pitch Fest or Great American Pitch Fest. Two, three, four days under fluorescent lights, talking constantly with hundreds of attendees and dozens of colleagues; it's exhausting. But I love it. There was grumbling on message boards about this year (and last's) CS Expo and the prices and administration of the event. I do think attendance was down this year compared to previous years because the prices did go up, the economy is not great and the holidays loom. That said, the event was still well populated and the attendees seemed happy with what they experienced. I recognized many faces from previous years events and of course many new faces as well.

The thing is this - through good years and bad, what other event can get the likes of Aaron Sorkin, William Goldman, Nancy Meyers, Tim Kring, Simon Kinberg, Jason Reitman, Josh Olson, Steve Faber and Marshall Herskovitz all under one tent to talk with aspiring television and feature film writers about their experiences? It's like the Woodstock of screenwriting gatherings; they should give each writer a complimentary bic lighter.

And there were dozens and dozens of classes. Everything from Scaling the Great Wall of Hollywood, taught by Gary Goldstein (producer, PRETTY WOMAN) to Beyond the Chick Flick: Writing the Female Driven Screenplay taught by my friend and colleague Pilar Alessandra to Anatomy of the Harry Potter Series (John Truby), Crafting Vivid Description for Emotional Impact (my dear, sweet Karl Iglesias) to Setting Up Character and Story (Syd Field). I mean, wow. I think it's probably really hard to choose which class to take since there are so many great ones.

Not to mention the after-parties where writers get to network and get to know one another. The writers I talked with felt pumped up and inspired after the event - which is precisely the point in my view.

If you didn't go this year, I highly, highly recommend staying tuned and going next year. You're right where the industry lives, in Los Angeles, and you can hear A-list speakers and take classes from some amazing teachers and you get to know writers from all over the world. Is it worth the $350 or $400 or whatever the Gold Pass cost was? For an annual event, plus hotel and airfare, you're talking what - $1000 or so? Is your screenwriting career worth that investment? God, I hope you think it is. I mean, seriously, at the end of the day, that's not a lot of money when it comes to making an investment in your writing career.

Put yourself first, Wavers. Take care of yourself personally. Eat well, sleep a lot more than you are now (the national sleep deficit is an epidemic, I tell you!) get a massage once in awhile, get some exercise and take your writing seriously. Yes, you do need to spend money on your writing career by attending events, purchasing books or dvds and getting notes and feedback on your script. It's not a luxury, it's a necessity. Don't let anybody tell you differently. There are all sorts of budgets and all sorts of ways of attacking that. But if you put yourself dead last on the list, you'll feel it, I promise you. I know from personal experience, trust me. If you want to take an online screenwriting class from the UCLA Writer's Program Extension, yes, that's going to cost you $500. But that's money so well spent I can't even tell you. I've done it many times and never regretted a penny of it.

Look at your budget for 2009 and ask yourself how important your personal happiness and fulfillment is. Go get a massage now and again. And save up and get revved up for screenwriting events in which you can immerse yourself in classes and networking that will pay off in any number of ways over time. Because you're worth it. And so is your writing.

The year is winding down but here are two upcoming events that I absolutely adore:

The UCLA Writers' Program Writers Studio, February 5th - 8th, 2009. I love this event and have attended many times. I cannot say enough about it.

The Great American Pitch Fest, June 13th and 14th in Los Angeles. I have never attended a better organized, friendlier pitch event than this one. Really fun, really relaxed atmosphere, extraordinarily organized pitching.

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Should You Rush a GREAT Idea?

I was having dinner the other night with three talented writers who are all close friends of mine when one of them, two margaritas in, reminded me of a script idea that he'd partially worked out a couple of years ago but set aside in favor of a newer project. As he described the logline, we all went nuts - it is BRILLIANT. It is high concept, it is zeitgeisty as hell and it is completely original - for now. Unanimously, we urged this writer to drop everything and complete this script as quickly as possible. Because somebody else is definitely going to come up with this idea. In fact, in the two years between writing a rough draft of the script and having moved on, my friend did find out that there is a comic book coming out with the same basic idea. Normally, I am not one to be super secretive about loglines but this is one of those loglines that you DO NOT tell many people because it is just so fantastic.

How do you know if you have a money idea? Well, that's one of those things that is helped quite a lot by living in LA and being around a lot of industry people so you can research whether it's been done before or worse - is being done right now.

But you don't necessarily have to live in LA for that advice. It's not so hard to find out if the idea has been done before. You can do an IMDB keyword search and go to a trusted industry connection and ask them to help you out. Is this idea floating around Hollywood right now? That's harder to find out. That's the kind of thing I turn to my colleagues for, since I know so many people who are preternaturally plugged in to what's going on in Hollywood.This is when having paid it forward will be enormously helpful. I have so many people (and you know who you are) who were former clients, became friends and do me little favors all the time. And I return those favors whenever I can. And the same is true for me - I have paid it forward and I have many colleagues that I turn to as well. On my own behalf and on yours.

I know a writer who had what felt like a GREAT idea for an episode of an existing show and was so excited - until he talked to someone who just happened to have seen literally every episode and...yep, it had been done. What a buzz kill that was. Better to find out in advance than shop around a spec with something that has already been done and look foolish.

Say you have an idea like my friend does. Fresh, totally original and yet totally obvious, thematically familiar and yet fundamentally different. Is it a rush or a race? Unfortunately, yes. A very strange thing happens with writers - and it doesn't matter where you live - but we seem to share the same thinking. It is a common occurrence that script ideas come in clusters. Without going all metaphysical on your behinds, I have no explanation for this. Ideas swim around in the ether and writers are always looking for them. We are all exposed to the same media and group-think and national and international zeitgeist so it's like being in a petrie dish; sooner or later connections will be made from one news item to another and new ideas will begin to form from single cells to wriggling flagellum.

So your totally brilliant, one-of-a-kind idea is, in all likelihood, not so original. So now the race is on. Who is going to not only get their wonderful idea DONE first, but who is going to execute it the best? You cannot sacrifice speed for quality if you are an unproven writer. Yes, established writers - known quantities - can sell the idea alone. Or the treatment. But new, unproven writers really can't. Because the idea might be great, but why should someone trust you, a new writer, to execute that on the page in a way that services this great idea beautifully, when they can either steal your idea and get it to a writer they KNOW is great, or wait for that to occur naturally. Because it will. And yes, idea theft does happen.

If you are a semi-experienced screenwriter, meaning you've written at least four or five scripts and done well in a competition or any other venue, you should be able to outline and write a first draft of your brilliant idea within six weeks. Or less. I know, that sounds insane, but so often we writers actually drag out the process much more than we need to. If you are that excited about your brilliant idea, you better burn the midnight oil and get it done. I give that about six weeks because after that you're going to need another two weeks to get notes and rewrite the draft. And maybe even another set and another rewrite. If you turn in a slipshod, rushed draft, this golden idea just turned into brass. Game over for you.

I generally like to practice what I preach - be present, enjoy the process, write for the joy of it. But once in awhile, when I hear an idea as good as the one I am referring to, then I preach Getting Thy Ass in Motion. Now. Because if you don't - someone else will. It happens all the time. Enlist your friends - get notes and guidance. You have one shot and you don't have much time. So do it right.

What if you knock yourself out to get a draft out there of an idea and then you read in the trades that another script is making the rounds with the same idea? Well, if the other draft out there is by a novice screenwriter, and you have rep, there's still some chance you'll be able to get your draft out there was well. All may not be lost. But - it's not a great situation. If the other draft floating around is by an experienced writer, it's time to go put your fist through a wall because it's all over for the shouting.

A couple of years ago, my former writing partner and I had a GREAT idea to adapt a cheesy 70s book (and television movie) into a feature film. It was a slam-dunk. Until we found out, very early on in our conversations that Scott Rudin has already set it up at Paramount. What a huge let down that was. But there you go. Glad we didn't waste our time, tell ya that.

So you have an amazing idea. The first thing you need to ascertain is if it really is that amazing. Then you need to make sure it truly has not been done before. Then you need to find out if it's floating around Hollywood right now. Then you need to buy three cases of Red Bull and outline and outline and outline and get ON writing the draft.

That is all. Now get back to work.

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Top Three Finalists

Good Monday, Wavers! The Expo has wrapped up for another year, Los Angeles is slouching toward Thanksgiving with smoke-filled air and today we have the top three short scenes in the Thanksgiving, Chihuahua, Election competition.

Voting Guidelines: As always, NO ballot-stuffing. Finalists, please refrain from asking your parents, co-workers and groupies to vote for you just because you're so wonderful. We haven't had a serious ballot stuffing problem in some months but I think we all remember that with distaste. Vote for the short scene that you most enjoyed - simple as that.

Animal House
by Jeff Undsman

INT. ANIMAL HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES - DAY
A whole host of animals sit in a huge semi-circle. On the platform, a massive turkey paces back and forth. This is SENATOR RED NECK.

Behind the podium stands SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA. He strikes the podium with a wooden hammer.

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Thanksgiving day and it’s getting late. Everyone wants to get home.

REPRESENTATIVES
(all together)
Gobble-gobble-gobble. Woof-woof-woof. Meow-meow-meow.

SENATOR RED NECK
I have to be at the table today, no matter what.

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
The election has been postponed way too long. We must finalize the candidate. Senator Red Neck has been the most popular candidate but as you all know...

The room fills with jeers, cheers, and an assortment of ANIMAL SOUNDS.

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
It is against this country's laws for a president to be foreign born.

DISTANT VOICE
You can't prove anything!

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
Senator Red Neck is ineligible to be elected and I have proof. He is not the typical turkey you were all led to believe in.

Silence falls upon the room. Speaker Chihuahua scans the room. All eyes are upon him.

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
It pains even me to break the news to you all, but Senator Red Neck was not born in the United States of Animals. He was born in...

Senator Red Neck waves his wings as if trying to stop Speaker Chihuahua from continuing.

SPEAKER CHIHUAHUA
(screaming)
Turkey!

***

Birds of a Feather
by Cathy Krasnianski

FADE IN:

INT. BARN – DAY
The turkeys are assembled in the center of the room.

CROOKED BEAK
So, you all know Thanksgiving’s tomorrow, right?

The birds exchange nervous looks.

SCRAWNY NECK
He wouldn’t pick me, would he? I’m too young to die!

He lets out a squawk.

BRUISER
Hey, none of us wants to end up like poor Henrietta.

They cringe, remembering.

BRUISER (CONT’D)
...and this year, if we’re smart, we won’t. C’mere.

The birds huddle.

PELE, the farm’s overly cheerful Chihuahua bursts in.

PELE
Hi guys! What’s shakin’, ’sides me?

The birds regard him.

BRUISER
We were just talking ‘bout you, kid. Congratulations, you won the election for mascot. Scrawny will help you into your costume.

PELE
This is so cool! I didn’t even know I was nominated.

Scrawny leads Pele away. Just then, FARMER BOB Enters.

FARMER BOB
So, who’s it to be this year, boys?

The birds part, revealing Pele covered in feathers.

ALL THE BIRDS
Him!

FADE OUT

***

Chewie is Dead
by Richard Sheehy

EXT. TRAIN STATION - DAY

ROBBIE COLE (18) stands alone. An old, beat up Chevy pulls
up. In the front seat, his parents, RITA and LEO COLE (50s),
wave spastically. A Chihuahua yips away in Rita's lap.

Robbie shuffles over - dead man walking - climbs in.

INT. THE COLE'S CAR

RITA
Oh, my god! You lost weight. Leo,
he's a skeleton. Have you been
eating? You need my Thanksgiving
dinner to fatten you up again.

LEO
Rita, please. Give the kid a
break. He just got off a train.
You look bigger. Been workin' out?

Robbie just stares ahead, dumbfounded.

RITA
So... how'd the election go?
Should we be calling you Mr.
Student Body President?

ROBBIE
I got eleven votes.

Leo and Rita exchange a hopeful look.

ROBBIE
Out of a thousand.

They grimace. Robbie points to the dog. It still yips away.

ROBBIE
Ummm, what the hell is that?

RITA
Surprise! I know how hard it was
on you when the police shot Chewie.

ROBBIE
You got a Chihuahua to replace my
Rottweiler?

LEO
Good to have you home, son.

ROBBIE
I hate my life.

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Expo Update

Good morning, Wavers! It's day three of the CS Expo and The Script Department is having a blast, despite complaints about the loop of musicals playing at the booth from some of the boy volunteers (and you know who you are!) We have met friends, new and old - I recognize a lot of writers from last year, and we even had Diane Stredicke stop by, the winner of the 3rd place at the Silver Screenwriting Competition. Karl Iglesias came by the booth and gave me a hug and of course, life would not be complete without a little squeeze from Dov Siemens.

I went to a Master Screenwriting panel, with my good friend Steve Faber (WEDDING CRASHERS), Jason Reitman, the director of JUNO and writer/director of THANK YOU FOR SMOKING, Josh Olson, writer of A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, Aline Brosh McKenna, writer of 27 DRESSES, Simon Kinberg, writer of MR. AND MRS. SMITH, JUMPER and the upcoming SHERLOCK HOLMES and Dan Waters, writer of, among other things, HEATHERS, DEMOLITION MAN and BATMAN RETURNS. The panel was by turns hilarious, blue and hilarious.

Today will be a very busy day at the Expo, with more classes going on and more Big Names, including Tim Kring (Heroes) Adam Horowitz (Lost) and Karen Lutz and Kirsten Smith (LEGALLY BLONDE).

We have met attendees from literally all over the world - there is even an Italian Contingent who came from Rome to attend the event. I cannot stress enough that this is the premiere screenwriting event; if you couldn't come, it's well worth planning to come next year.

I received TONS of short scene submissions for the Thanksgiving, Chihuahua, Election competition and will be posting the top three on Monday when we can all vote. Have a great weekend, everyone!

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In The First Person

Sorry for my relative absence lately, Wavers. The Creative Screenwriting Expo is going on right now, at the LA Convention Center, and all hands are on deck at The Script Department booth where we are showing movies, handing out green apples and doing altogether too much laughing. People like to come back to our booth again and again and tell us about their classes, their projects and their pitches. Our booth is always mobbed and I love it.

There are over nine volunteers who are helping out at our booth at this huge event and I am grateful to each and every one for helping communicate to attendees of the event that The Script Department is unlike any other script coverage service out there because we are a company by writers and for writers with a very personal, collaborative touch, unlike the vaguely hostilely-named-aquatically-themed, cold corporate entity that is our competitor. Suffice to say there's a new fish in town because anyone can call themselves the "industry leader" - that's just ad copy.

The fact is that this town is all about relationships. And we have great relationships with our writers - unique individuals who appreciate personal attention and encouragement, as well as great relationships with agents, managers and producers looking to be introduced to those writers. We're like the E Harmony of script coverage services. Crazy business model, huh?

I'm just saying - the shark should be looking over its pectoral fin right about now.

Aaaanyway. So in lieu of me blathering on (albeit entertainingly) about something entertainment related, I present a lovely first person essay by Steve Axelrod:

***

I don't know whether to refer to this as a 'wake up call' or a 'reality check' or maybe just skip the cliches altogether and present the facts.

For the last few months a thriller I wrote has been haunting the atrium of the Creative Artists Agency, ringing ever more faintly, like someone’s lost cell phone. I was just hoping someone might find it behind the potted ficus tree before the last bar ran down. But that begins to seem more and more unlikely.

Still, some people there like the script, and they’ve been trying to get clients interested in making the movie. If enough of them commit, the people who get in-house projects financed there could go out and get the money for the production. It’s an odd situation. I’m not a CAA client. I suppose I might become one eventually, if some creative ignition happens. But for the moment my script is as anonymous as a Shaker quilt.

We were given a list of possible directors and then watched as each one took a different movie. It was like reading Ten little Indians, except that nobody died. Most of them never even saw my screenplay. There’s not much incentive to read some unknown’s work when big stars and Academy Award winning writers and studio deals with big paychecks beckon. Finally the only one left was Peter Weir. When I first saw the list it never occurred to me that they might give him my project. He’s in a different class than the others. He's an authentic artist, a giant. I couldn’t imagine he’d be interested in my paltry adventure story. The last thing remotely like a thriller he did was Witness and this was no Witness, even I could see that. But I amused myself with some wary moments of hope as the weeks wore on. Finally he passed, as I had always been pretty sure he would.

What did he choose to do instead?

Well, he’s making film out of William Gibson's Pattern Recognition, a book I read last year when I was looking for something edgy and engrossing. Fascinating book. With a script by David Arata who wrote the screenplay for Children of Men, one of the best adaptations of all time. Even P.D. James said it was better than the book. I've read the book and she's right. The whole climax, where the hero and the last pregnant woman on earth have to infiltrate the hellish immigrant detention camp to reach the coast and their rendezvous with 'the human project', overwhelms the mundane final moments of the novel.

So --I'm supposed to compete in that league?, asked the house painter from Nantucket.

I don't think so. I don't get to be ball boy in that league. So that's today's humbling tale of Hollywood.

As a fan I'm looking forward to Pattern Recognition. As someone who doesn't believe in portents and signs, I'm not taking this as the big blood red sky-writing message (SURRENDER DOROTHY) that it seems to be. I'm more used to the other OZ paradigms. For writers, Hollywood is full of them: the poppies and the flying monkeys, the friendly munchkins and the angry trees.

All the quotes feel chillingly familiar: “Off to see the Wizard” (or is it the Head of Development); “Bring me the broomstick (or the next unnecessary free revision) of the Wicked Witch of the West.” And don’t forget that old favorite, “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain”.

Of course it ends with “There's no place like home” as you flee back to Kansas and tell yourself it was all a dream. But I did that 20 years ago. And I'm still dreaming.

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Why Table Reads Are Fun and Cool!

Last evening at the Attic Theater, as I am wont to do about once each month, I hosted a table read. This time the guest of honor was Rouge Waver Chris Bosley. Chris was nice enough to stay up late afterward and write a blog post for y'all about what it was like:

***

One of the challenges for an aspiring screenwriter -- okay, any screenwriter -- is becoming comfortable with uncertainty. Even if you come up with what you think is a solid story premise and dedicate yourself to executing that concept in the form of a well-written script, i.e., unique voice, visual scene descriptions, memorable characters, snappy dialogue, complete unity of theme, until someone reads that script and puts up a truckload of money to turn it into a film . . . you just. don't. know. Will anyone "get" my vision for this story? Or is it just 110 pages of self-indulgence that will only cause the reader to hurl it across the room in frustration??

So it's nice, short of an actual sale or the like, to have those occasional moments when you can see your work click with others and be reasonably confident that, okay, maybe it doesn't totally suck. I was lucky enough to have one of those moments tonight at the table read Julie arranged for me at The Attic Theater. The subject matter was the first act of my rom-com titled SOULMATING. Although I placed in the quarterfinals of Silver Screenwriting with it, there was obviously something that wasn't connecting enough to take it into the later rounds. And since I hope to enter it in other upcoming contests, I need to figure out what the problems are before I can fix them. This was the first step for me in that next rewrite phase.

Naturally, Julie being the font of support and encouragement that she is, took that goal and amped it up about 500% by surprising me and bringing along her friend Steve Faber, writer of "Wedding Crashers." So that was pretty damn cool right there. And in the interest of making the most of my read, I also dragged along my friends Max Adams and Lee Patterson. Max is a past Nicholl fellow, writer of the feature "Excess Baggage," and coordinates the online writing workshop that I've been in for the past two years; Lee is a fellow workshop member and just in from London because he won the Nicholl himself this year. Like the old Sesame Street song says: "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong." I'm only the guy with the first act of a script that needs some help.

But then another cool thing happened as the read began: people laughed. And in the right spots. This might sound like a minor thing, but especially with a comedy, making people laugh is somewhat of the essence. So that was good too. But the best part was getting notes and feedback from the actors and other writers in the room. Like, insanely great feedback. Steve diagnosed several fundamental character issues with laser precision. Things I kind of knew were hanging out there became instantly clarified. And with plenty of possible fixes for those issues as well. Max, Julie, and the others also gave me awesome suggestions on plot and story improvements that, if I can implement them, will (hopefully) make a good script great. My head is still swimming as I try to absorb and process everyone's comments, but in a good way. In a way that will fuel a whole round of new creative thinking about the script as I take the next pass. Many thanks to everyone -- actors and writers -- who gave of their time and selves to help me become a little more certain about my script.

To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, it is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend taking advantage of the service that Julie provides. All you have to do is bring snacks!

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In The First Person

La La Land
by Julie McDowell

What is it about LA that makes it so alluring? The glam? The glitz? What is it that draws people back time and time again? After all, LA is the home where the Barbie Dolls roam, with rich men who play with money all day. I moved to LA on a simple premise which our dear friend Jiminy Cricket sings so nicely:

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

Los Angeles. The City of Angels. The city of dreamers. Where little wooden dolls become real boys, where the stars you wish upon become the stars you walk upon, where a nobody becomes a somebody, where dreams really do come true. Like every young girl, I dreamt big. Oh, to become a princess, to bite into a poisonous apple only to have my prince come rescue me. I wanted to become part of the magic, the fantasy. To live amongst those who created anything and everything, bound not by time but only by their desire to dream.

I’ve lived in LA for several years now and I’ve bit the poisonous apple, met Prince Charming, as well as the Wicked Witch of the West, and I’ve loved every minute of it. LA is like an adult Disneyworld. Within this great amusement park lay many diverse lands full of wild rides. From the hippies in Topanga Canyon to the hipsters in Silver Lake, from the groove in Venice to the beat in Hollywood, from the Bentley driving gents in Beverly Hills to the bling in the hood, one can delve in to any fantasy they like. It’s where the black sheep come to graze patiently waiting for their moment of inspiration, the moment where they realize that not only can they become white but that they can fly.

All over the world people are accustomed to tradition, to falling in line and adapting to their environment, to settling, to giving in, to living in reality. “Come down to earth,” “Get your head out of the clouds,” people say. What does that even mean, “living in reality?” Is not my reality that which I choose to make it? Of course, there’s The Golden Rule to live by. But what about the silver one sprinkled in fairy dust that allows you to dream big and live happily ever after? True, there are those who cut off their toes in order to find the right fit to a glass slipper. But they only end up on the arm of a millionaire older then their grandfather, having dinner at Maestro’s Steakhouse, waking up to a great big rotten pumpkin with seeds of self-hatred. Then, there are those who live honorably and courageously, who get their hands dirty and clean the cinders from the fireplace. Those who work hard, never losing sight of their dream, until one day the glass slipper comes knocking on their door.

From San Diego to northern California, from Italy to New York, I’ve been fortunate to live in some beautiful places. Each area has its own unique gifts to offer. However, every time I run off to explore some place new, there’s a force that brings me back. LA is the city of dreams. Sure, one can dream in any town, Philadelphia, Boston, Paris, or Wasilla, but LA is the city where one’s dreams come alive. It’s the cherry on top of the American Dream. The Promised Land. It’s saddling up one’s horse and riding out west to stake one’s claim and search of the Holy Grail. Only in this town the grail isn’t found in the hands of Harrison Ford. It’s found in the eye of the dreamer.

Everyday I wake up leaving one dream and stepping into another, inspired by the notion that anything is possible in LA. I know that at one moment an idea is formed, and the next it can be seen dancing on screen. True, I have grown from that young girl understanding now that in fantasy exists both the dream and the nightmare. For an artist cannot paint in merely black and white. It is in this mystical city that all shades are exposed. I find that only here can I delve into such a range of life. The yin and yang, the light and dark, the comedy and tragedy. It’s the duality of this town that entices me. Like Dante’s Divine Comedy, I can travel through both the depths of hell and the peaks of heaven to find my prince and live happily ever after.

Maybe it’s the mystical Santa Ana winds that blow in every fall from the desert, maybe it’s the way the mountains meet the ocean on that crystal clear day, or maybe it’s that last martini I had up on Sunset Plaza. There’s something in this town that stirs my soul. I hate to love it, but I do.

***
If you would like to submit a first person essay to the Rouge Wave, write something terrific, keep it between 500 and 750 words and send it in for consideration.

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The Assistant Files

Some assistants read query letters and some don't. Unfortunately you really don't know which type of assistant your letter is going to land in front of. (And trust me, it will almost definitely be an assistant who opens any mail you send.) But I'd venture to say that more are read than aren't. Because, as I've blathered on about before, it's good for an assistant's career to find that next great script. Hoping to do so, we go to the pitch fests, we see who's winning which contests, and we read queries.

Of course by "read" I mean "skim with about 8% of my attention span while I also roll calls with my boss."

I started thinking about this topic because Blake Snyder posted about it last week on his blog. He encourages querying, but also writes, "But what actually do we put into those communiques to elicit the best possible response?"

Um… let me preface this by saying that this is just one assistant's opinion. Okay? But for me the answer is SO SIMPLE I almost can't believe there might be people out there pondering the existence of other answers.

The first thing I look at? The thing that better be SO GOOD it commands 100% of my attention? The logline, obviously.

Because it's all about the idea for the movie. I mean, your letter could be witty or brilliant or fascinating in some other way, but if I'm going to go to the effort of REQUESTING and then READING yet another script, it's only because your logline made me say, "Now THAT'S a movie!" So make sure it's an amazing, wish-I'd-thought-of-it idea.

Once you have that, make it easy for me: put your logline right there in its very own paragraph, indent it, make it bold. It's the VERY FIRST THING I'm going to look for, so you may as well direct my eyes to it.

And that's about it! Sounds easy, right?

However, even AFTER you've dazzled me with your logline there are still many, many things you can do in your letter to make me hesitate about requesting your script. They include but are not limited to:

*misspelling pretty much anything
*sounding like an amateur
*sounding crazy and/or desperate
*telling me how much your friends, family, or anyone else I don't know
from Adam liked your script
*including photos of you and your dog dressed as characters from your story

I'm not saying any one of these things on its own would make me turn away from a great logline ( ...possibly the last one), but enough of them together might add up to make me think, "I don't know if I want to deal with this person." Because you have to remember, A LOT of query letters come in. That's a lot of potential projects, and I have to figure out a way to weed through them somehow.

Simple, professional, and AWESOME. That's pretty much what you're shooting for with a query letter.

xxoo,
Andy Sachs

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The Angelina Jolie Effect

I saw The Changeling this weekend (don't worry, no spoilers) and Jolie really ruined it for me. Don't get me wrong, the girl can emote and also roller skate (nice little period detail). But she does not look like an ordinary person and I just couldn't detach enough from her freakish beauty to lose myself in her story. There's a lot more going on in The Changeling than Jolie (a LOT more, and it doesn't work out well) and I appreciate that Jolie, being a mother herself, took on the role with much gnashing of the teeth and pouting of those crazy lips.

I just wish I could believe, for one red hot second that a woman with that face would be a single mother working at the phone company rather than a starlet or exotic dancer. This was LA in 1928, after all, and the moving pictures were already big business. Amy Ryan, who has a small but memorable part - now that is an actress I would have bought as Christine Collins - not only can she act circles around Jolie, she looks like a regular person. Because I am a regular person I need to identify with movie characters.

I mean, don't get me wrong, most actors are extraordinary good looking people - that's the point, right? They are more handsome, glamorous and have better cheekbones than most of us out here in the unwashed masses. But in some movies, they are supposed to BE the unwashed masses, someone like us who also can't decide between love and career or who struggles with dating or paying taxes or whether to murder our abusive boss. And if all we can think when we look at them is - that is FREAKISH beauty, it distracts from the normalcy and identification that we crave. So I'm asking Angelina nicely to please retire from acting and raise her 16 children and continue her work for the global good and let other less stunning actors play us so we can focus on the story. Thanks Ang, you're a peach.

In other news I went to a meeting last evening that I can't really talk about but if I could you would be HIGHLY entertained - and I mean HIGHLY - to talk about the need for good writers and good scripts. We know by now that having a fan in the business can transform your life as a writer. And you never know who is looking for content in all genres. All I can say is - keep writing Wavers, and know that you are being sought after. Yes, sure, as a cog in the money-making wheel but that's what writing is, for better or worse and it could be YOUR script that is plucked from obscurity and pushed into development by someone who believes in you and in your story. At this mysterious meeting I pitched a particular script and all agreed the concept was great. But. How is the script itself? How is the execution? That is up to the writers. I can work with the writers (and I am and you know who you are) but it all depends on what's on the page. If this script is executed with elan and professionalism, these two writers (now you really know who you are) are going to make a sale and maybe a career. Only time will tell and I'm counting on these guys. And if they don't pull it off, I have other writers who may beat them across the finish line.

Having a great idea is one thing - great execution of that idea, great enough to get several people excited enough to get the script in front of buyers - that is the key. Suffice to say that there are people having meetings in Hollywood every day discussing the need for good scripts. And they come from you. No meeting, no fancy house, no Cuban Cigars, no fine wine and genial conversation about your script is going to go anywhere unless you deliver great page work. Crisp, clean, compelling pages that captivate. Say that three times fast. So go, writers, go! You are needed. Content does not write itself. No matter how crazy the odds may seem, no matter how much competition there is, no matter what you read in the papers about Hollywood - people are looking for content. Lives are built on good content. Theaters are filled when there's good content. Help us help you.

Now get back to work.

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Kurt Vonnegut and Story Graphs

A very dear friend lent me A Man Without a Country, a sort of memoir/musing hybrid by Kurt Vonnegut and I read it in one sitting yesterday evening. It was a Friday evening and I had opportunities to do other things but once I picked up the book I couldn't put it down. What a delightful read. Vonnegut muses on life, fossil fuels, writing and the fact that "We are here on earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different." And this - I love this: "What you can become is the miracle you were born to be through the work that you do."

I was especially delighted by the story graphs in Chapter Three. They are so basic and make such sense. The Kafka graph made me laugh. Start low. Proceed downward...to infinity. For those of you who may not have seen these graphs, click HERE and enjoy. Kurt Vonnegut passed away in April, 2007 and I just have to say that Kurt is up in heaven now. That's something he found very funny and I just had to say it.

Have a lovely weekend, Wavers and don't forget about the bulletin board items of yesterday. I'm too lazy to type that all again but click HERE to refresh your memory - Script Department Table Read, Creative Screenwriting Expo and of course, the latest short scene competition right here on the Rouge Wave.

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Short Scene Competition

All right Wavers, I think it's time for another Rouge Wave Short Scene Competition. Here are the keywords:

Thanksgiving
Chihuahua
Election


Guidelines:
Write a one page short scene which includes the keywords, above. Put the words in context, and make it creative and clever. The words should be key in the scenes, not just a passing inclusion. Don't just slot them in there somewhere. Genre doesn't matter, just keep it to one page.

Deadline:
Please turn your short scenes in by Friday, November 14th at 12am Pacific Time. I will select the top three and post them here for voting on Monday, November 17th.

Prizes:
As always, a $25 gift certificate to a vendor of your choice: Starbucks, Amazon, etc.

Entry Fee:
Don't be silly. But someday, in order to offer bigger, better prizes, we may all kick in ten bucks or something. That's just a tba thought.

Submit your scene HERE.

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Silliness and Bulletin Board Items

What a beautiful autumn day it is in Los Angeles today. My favorite season. A lovely day with lots of nice things going on. I received a signed copy of the pilot episode of Mad Men in the mail today from a dear friend (You know who you are and WOW this is better than cupcakes! Where did you get this??) Ray's doing great, by the way, and has only torn up about three things so far. So now onto business and silliness:

Two events to know about:

Script Department Table Read
Wednesday, November 12th at 7:30pm
At the Attic Theater here in Los Angeles
We will be reading the first act of Chris Bosley's romcom SOULMATING
Please RSVP here if you'd like to come and/or if you're interested in having a table read for your material.

Creative Screenwriting Expo 2008
At the Los Angeles Convention Center
November 12th through 16th
Lots of fun, great guest speakers, a great opportunity to network and learn. This is really THE screenwriting event to attend, in my opinion. And of course, The Script Department will be there, so come on by and say hello, Wavers!

And just for fun, my wonderful assistant Chaia sent this to me because she knows how to make me smile:

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The Chronicles of Ray

I always swore that I would never write a navel-gazing blog because I honestly find blogs about what random people are doing and thinking vis a vis their lives really boring. Every day I try valiantly to have something on the Rouge Wave that pertains to screenwriting, writing or entertainment. And as I approach the two year anniversary of the Rouge Wave (December-somethingth) I think I've done a fairly good job of maintaining a focus. Even on those days when it's tough to find something to say - anything - that is of entertaining value. But today you'll have to forgive me, Wavers. Because today I am particularly tired.

Because of Ray.

I have said here on the Rouge Wave that I keep crazy hours - often up until 2am and not really functional before 9:30am. But that was before Ray. You see, Ray arrived unexpectedly yesterday evening wearing a hooded black sweatshirt and little else. And, as it turns out, he's an early riser.

Ray is a 12-week old, chocolate brown Chihuahua puppy. He's been very busy having to go potty and laying claim to all corners of the house. My Shih Tzu, the one that everybody is always talking about dognapping because she's so cute is quite confused by this new, animated toy who ferociously guards his lair, his one little stuffed toy and his dignity.

I grew up with a lot of animals; chickens, pigs, horses and rabbits. For real. I grew up in the country and my dad was very into animal husbandry. I was a proud member of the 4-H when I was in elementary school. Do they have that anymore? Our dogs were always big, tough and definitely outdoor dogs. They killed stuff and got into porcupines and skunks. Games like "fetch" and "catch-the-frisbee" were unknown to our family dogs whereas "terrify-the-chickens" was a big favorite. Our dogs never slept inside, much less on a bed. They ate food that came in 50 pound bags, served up with the rattle and clank of an old coffee can.

Not Ray. Ray is a purebred puppy that somebody bought, along with all the most expensive accessories, including, I am told, a $60 collar. But then Ray's previous owner decided he was too much work. Since he's a puppy and all. So yours truly is the beneficiary. Having to get up so early, I sleepily took Ray with me to the couch where we curled up and read a script first thing this morning. Ray is a good note-encourager, as he curls up in a tight little ball tight up against me while I turn pages. At first that sound startled him but he'll soon get used to that.

I was never the type to dress up my dog in clothes but thank god Ray came with his sweatshirt since the evenings have grown chilly and he has nary an extra ounce of fat or fur. My other dog is...zaftig, I think the word is. And furry. But not Ray - he's 2 pounds of short-haired joie de vivre in need of an extra layer. When he barks, his whole body thrusts forward with the effort. Right now he's unsure of every sound - is it a threat? An intruder? Noooo...that would be a door closing, Ray.

Ray has no problem asserting his boundaries - that's HIS tiny stuffed turtle toy, thank you very much. A guy's gotta stand up for what's his. Even to another dog who weighs 13 pounds more. Thank you, thank you, Ray'll be back every Thursday night through February and then Wednesdays at the Laugh Factory. That is, if Ray doesn't suddenly collapse into a comatose nap which he does just about once an hour, from the sheer exhaustion of being a two-pound canine with no chickens to terrify or skunks to have unfortunate run-ins with. It's a tough life.

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The Assistant Files

You know that Making It daydream you have? The one where someone has given you a huge amount of money for your totally awesome spec? And now you're meeting with the execs and producers, and they're fawning over your unrivaled genius? Yeah. That fawning? Lasts for about five minutes. It comes right after they shake your hand and offer you a beverage, and right before they start telling you all the things in your script that need to be changed.

It's true: once you're in business with a production company or studio, you're going to get notes on your script. Prepare yourself.

"Oh, Andy!" You say. "I can take notes! OF COURSE I can take notes. Done it a million times. How else do you think my work of pure genius came to be?"

Yes, well. I'm guessing the way you usually get notes is from one person at a time. You send your draft to a couple of aspiring-writer friends, maybe your mom, and then they come back with comments that range from, "I really liked it!" to "It's your best work yet!"

Not anymore! Now you're going to get notes from several people in tandem, people who are not your friends. It's the Hollywood equivalent of being jumped into a gang. Fun, huh?

A lot is made of the fact that this business is a collaborative one. Which just means you're going to get a lot of input thrown at you. Everyone involved will have something to say about the script (no longer YOUR script so much as THE script). Some of the input will be annoying. Some of it will be confusing. But some of it just might be helpful.

I once dated a guy, a baby screenwriter, who had sold a project and was meeting with the involved parties about the first rewrite. Your average cynical Hollywood type, Boyfriend was stunned when someone in the meeting actually had a good idea. An idea that fixed a little thing in the script that had always bugged him, but he'd never quite worked out. Now, don't worry writers-- I'm not giving all your credit away. It was a minor thing that the suit had managed to fix. And I'm not sure he even realized he was fixing it. But Boyfriend was thrilled with the idea. And had the good sense to recognize it, and to incorporate it. His attitude about taking notes was forever changed. (By 'forever' I mean 'until the next meeting'.) As he said, "Hey, they can give me all the ideas they want. The only person who's going to get credit for them is me!"

…I didn't want to snuff out the mad glint in his eye by reminding him that it was entirely possible he'd be rewritten and have to share credit.

Then again, if he took all of their notes as ungrudgingly, they'd be much less likely to replace him. Hey, I'm not saying roll over and sell out. But keep in mind that a good idea can come from anywhere. And, as absurd as they might sometimes be, producers and studio execs aren't idiots.

Smart writers take notes with grace. Not only does it earn you the reputation of being pleasant to work with, but that way when a good idea shows up, you're open to it.

Until next time, Wavers!

xxoo,
Andy Sachs

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Multi-Tasking: Just Say No

How good are you at multi-tasking? Most women are extraordinarily good at it. We can make a mental grocery list, return three phone calls, check our email, throw the laundry in the dryer, buy the bacon and fry it up in a pan. That's, uh, an old 70s ad for Enjolie perfume for you young'uns. Well, the bacon part is.

I am a great multi-tasker. I have to be. But sometimes when I multi-task an unsavory side effect of that is that I do a million things all day but don't really feel like I got anything done. I do get stuff done but often I don't really put my entire focus on any one thing. It's all a big jumble. I am a big list-maker; I love to cross things off my list. Why, I've crossed four things off my list so far today and it's only 9:15 in the morning.

But when it comes to your writing, you really need to block off focused quiet time. I'm always amazed at what I can actually accomplish when I step away from the chiming emails and ringing phones. There is nothing like uninterrupted time to focus on one task only. Not only is this good for the soul in general terms - slowing down and just doing the dishes, folding the laundry or answering each email thoughtfully, but NOT multi-tasking is a great thing for your writing. Yes, I know, the time flies when you write. If you have one hour for your writing, of totally uninterrupted time, it feels like that hour passes and you haven't done much and you need three more hours. For those lucky enough to be able to keep feeding the meter, that's wonderful. But for many, that one hour, late at night, is a lucky get.

Whether you feel like you got much done in a limited amount of time or not, I promise you this - you really are spending quality time with yourself and your writing if you let nothing else enter into the picture. I used to be very superstitious about my writing time. It had to be a certain time of day, I had to have other things done before I could focus, I had to be sitting in a particular room. But now, as life seems to have sped up to 78rpms on a given day, I no longer have that luxury. Most of us don't. We write when we get to write and we get the time we have.

But one focused hour is better than three sporadically interrupted ones. Even if you spend that hour thinking or writing and then deleting a scene or a page. Just set the time aside. Make it happen. Because nobody is going to do it for you. And it's okay not to answer the phone or your emails for awhile. The world will not end. My phones (I have three different lines) ring all day long. And when I hear that ringing sound, my instinct is to jump up, no matter what I'm doing, and answer it. But more and more lately, I just don't. Imagine that. Sometimes people complain that they couldn't get ahold of me. I might have been writing, or reading or god forbid, just watching TV in my pajamas. And that's okay. Because time is the most precious commodity we have. Full stop.

We are not Pavlovian dogs, people, who have to react every single time a bell chimes. Take your power back. Chunk your time in a healthier, more effective way. And yes that means if you're doing the dishes or preparing a meal, to really be in that experience and do just that. Or if a friend calls, wait for a time when you can truly curl up on the couch and enjoy that conversation rather than having a hurried, half-heard conversation as you're answering emails. You can take the power back and get off the hamster wheel. Just because life seems to be speeding up doesn't mean you can't opt out for your own well being.

Writing takes a particular kind of focus. Turn the sound off your computer so you don't hear the chime of an incoming email. Turn the ringer on your phone off. Turn off the radio, turn off the TV - create a quiet time and space, even if it's for 60 precious minutes and see how much you get done and how much more peaceful and satisfied you feel about your accomplishments.

Multi-tasking is a useful skillset but it can be abused. Some things need our full attention and your writing is one of them. If you're like me and some things recharge your batteries, like exercise, watching TV or reading quietly - schedule that time for yourself. And if people can't get ahold of you during that time, that's too bad. Every day, I take care of the most pressing things first then I make sure that as the day wanes, so do my obligations. Because I reserve the right to just be in my pajamas and not work on a damn thing.

Prioritize each day, making your writing time a high priority. Write when you're most awake and focused. For many of us, that's late at night. For many, family obligations make that tough. But if you want to be a writer for real - not a hobbyist - you need to prioritize your writing in the same way you prioritize paying your bills or taking care of any kind of business. This is a business, this writing thing. And it takes time and it takes focus. You'll get more done in one quiet hour than several hours in which you go fold laundry or answer the phone while trying to write. It takes several moments to refocus. Don't do that to yourself.

Set writing goals for the next several months - the holidays are generally a very quiet time in Hollywood. But it won't be long til spring is here again and it is again competition season and spec season. Take the quiet holiday times to work out a schedule for you and for your writing. The other side benefit is that when you aren't writing, you are fully present for your family and other obligations. This IS your life. Right now. Each day. And we all have a limit to the number of hours in our lives. How do you want to use them - spread thin and multi-tasking, barely remembering conversations or tasting your food? Or would you rather use your time fully focused on whatever you are doing? Life is a gift and so is your writing talent.

Now get back to work. And go vote.

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Tools of the Trade

The other day we talked about the fact that as a writer, you ARE a business. You need to promote your business, fine-tune it and understand the market for what you're selling. You also need to make sure that you have all the niceties figured out as well. The little things. Like leaving a message that is intelligible. Or having a business card that is not lame.*

So here is a check list that may be helpful:

Thank You Notes
Real, paper thank you notes, folks, not thank you emails. Not goofy thank you notes with balloons and dogs on them but simple, classy notes. Get them. And use them. Send them to people you meet at pitch fests, at general screenwriting events, to people like me or one of my colleagues if we help you with something. This is a business based on relationships. Never forget that for one minute. And a real thank you note will be very memorable to the recipient.

A Normal Email Address
Is your email something like writerfoshizzle4556@complicatedcompany.com? Change it. Have a business email address that is simple, easy to spell, easy to type and memorable. I cannot tell you the weird email addresses I see. Choose something very simple and easy so that it's easier to write down, say over the phone or whatever. Be professional. *

*if this post inspires anyone on my newsletter emailing list to change their email address, please email my assistant, Chaia with your new email address.

A Number Where You Can Be Reached
Does your four year-old answer your phone there at home? Then use a different number. If you have a cell phone that is exclusively yours, put that number on your contact information. Make sure it has a professional sounding message on it, not music or anything else. Speak clearly. Check your messages frequently.

Always Put Your Contact Information on the Title Page of Your Script
ALWAYS, people. Every. Single. Time. I know for most of you this is a no-brainer. I can't tell you how often I get scripts submitted to The Script Department sans contact information. Very annoying. And it just could be the one, annoying thing that stops someone from phoning you up with good news.

Business Cards
We've gone over this in the past, but get some very simple business cards printed up with your name and contact information. Bring your cards to every event you attend. Have them at the ready.

Leaving Messages
If you leave a message for someone in the industry, please don't rattle off your phone number so fast that the recipient of your message can't write it down. Speak slowly. Your name, why you're calling and your number. Here's the cadence that works for me when I'm writing down a message: Hey Julie, this is John Roberts. We met at the (blank) event last week. I can be reached at area code 323 (pause) 555 (pause) 0264. Once again, this is John Roberts and I can be reached at 323 (pause) 555 (pause) 0264. As opposed to messages I receive quite frequently: Hey Julie this is (mumble mumble, sounds like Frank-n-smith-n-heimer) we met at the (mumble mumble screenwriting thing last year) and my number is 3235550264bye. HUH? If I have ever not called you back, that's why. I couldn't understand your message. Please make it easy for the person transcribing your message. Slow. Down.

Office Supplies
Please use normal brads. And get a good three-hole punch. Use good, reliable pens and write clearly on your letter/material. Put stamps on the normal way, not the I'm-in-a-special-class way. If you're sending in a treatment that's under 20 pages, staple the pages - never send loose pages. If your treatment is more than that - three hole punch it and use brads. TWO BRADS. Don't use three brads and don't use weird brads. Just normal, brass brads that aren't too long or too flimsy. Go to The Writer's Store online if you can't find them in your area.

Software
I advocate the use of Final Draft, because it's the most commonly used software and it's easier to send files using it. But if you do use a different program, save your script as a PDF and be prepared to send your script in that format. If you don't know what PDF stands for, brush up on your knowledge of software. I'm no tech genius but these are the basic tools of sending your script electronically which is done more and more these days. Do not type or send your scripts in Word or a similar word-processing software. It makes you look like an amateur and is almost impossible to format on the other end. If you want to be a career screenwriter, make a small investment in your software and your knowledge of it.

Your Equipment
How's your computer working out for you these days? Are you backing up your files? (See my cautionary tale of just yesterday). Do you have the latest update of your writing software, internet browser and email program? Do you have a fax machine, copier and scanner? Are you prepared to jot off a release form promptly, when asked? Making an investment in your equipment is key. And for you absolute geniuses who type on a 1957 Olivetti in your attic and eschew all of this stuff, good luck to you. I'm sure you're brilliant.

The Interwebs
That's what snarky people call the internet when referring to yokels who don't know who to use it. Snarky people like me. Well, maybe we're shooting for irony. But I digress. The internet. Figure. It out. Click on new sites and blogs relative to screenwriting. Surf that stuff. Visit the websites of screenwriting services and software companies. Be aware of the resources available to you so you can stop emailing me asking for every script ever produced. Oh, uh, sorry - little personal side story there. The world is at your fingertips. When you call or otherwise contact a professional or organization, be it me, be it Final Draft or Creative Screenwriting or millions more, please have done your homework. Read the website first. Click around some. Inform yourself. Because it's really annoying when people email with lazy questions, the answer to which is already on the site.

In the Entertainment Industry there are so many odd, clashing interests and subtle mores that sometimes seem to conflict and contradict. But at the end of the day, everybody is looking for content. EVERYBODY wants it, okay? I cannot stress that enough. And you got it. But at the same time, everybody is looking for one, easy reason to dismiss you and move on to the next writer and the next script. An annoying, complicated email address, mumbled messages, sloppy looking scripts, three brads, bad breath and dandruff - you name it. Content is King but it also arrives in Hollywood late at night, in packed to the gills rail cards. Hundreds of scripts, thousands of scripts, chug into Hollywood on a daily basis. So there's no shortage of material. It's about sifting through it to find the gems.

Hollywood is a giant mining operation. Every day - BWOOOOOP - the horn blows, everybody puts on their mining hats and descends into the mining shaft with picks. Do you want your script chucked into the dirt pile because your contact information wasn't on it? Or because it was sent in a Word file and is 228 pages long? Or because you left a message that was unintelligible? Of course not. So go over this checklist and see what you've got and how prepared you are. Remember, they don't call it showfriends. Hollywood is unlike any other business in the world and yet at the same time (I told you there are contradictions) it's exactly like all other businesses. Be prepared, be polite and be professional. Have the latest software and a working knowledge of the internet. Because if you don't - someone else does. And their script will be on the top of the pile. No, you aren't such a genius that thank you notes, pithy email addresses or non-crack-pipe messages don't apply to you.

*lame business cards include: photo-shop images of balloons, ice cream, monsters, your original artwork, pull-quotes from your script or favorite movie, a headshot of you, (unless you're an actor), bright colors, rainbows, pictures of your pets or kids, etc. All real examples, by the way.

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Watch and Learn

Hello, Wavers and happy Sunday. Or Monday as the case may be. I like to think that as much as I am an inspiration, I am also a cautionary tale. Because over the weekend something totally unexpected happened. My computer died. It began making a very funny noise and moments later, the screen grayed out but for a file folder with a question mark on it. Which went on blinking and mocking me until I practically wept. Goodness - what to do? Well, I happen to have one of the most gifted computer guys in the world, Greg Madore, and he raced over to my home and fixed it inside of an hour.

Good news, right? Yeah, not so much. Because I hadn't backed up my system since July 28th. I lost 3 months worth of data because I neglected to back up my computer on a weekly basis. This is going to be like having a hang nail; every day at some point, I'll search for a document and not be able to find it. Good times!

Everybody knows you should back up your computer. It's just common sense. I often go outside during the day to walk my tiny canine and I always double-check with myself as to whether to lock the door behind me. I'm just walking a block or two, right? And I always say to myself, well, lock it depending on how you feel about losing everything inside. Uh, okay. Lock. Just takes a second. Like buckling your seat belt, flossing, setting the alarm, changing the batteries in the smoke alarm. And backing up your computer.

So learn from me Wavers. How would you like to lose all the changes you made on your script for the past month? How would you like to lose the script you wrote last year? You cannot get stuff like that back. If you aren't backing up your computer, start doing it and start doing it NOW. Once a week or more often if you are very busy on your computer. Guess who will be an absolute obsessive about backing up now? Yeah. Me. Your own personal cautionary tale.

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