The Ratings System

Screen Scribe asked a good question apropos of my last post:

...how does one know when a script is right or wrong, good or bad, well written or poorly drafted? Is it simply a matter of reading said script and coming to the realization or do you have guidelines that must be met in order to fill all of the required qualifications?

Readers judge scripts for PASS or CONSIDER based on ratings in five areas:

Premise: Is it original, compelling, entertaining?

Structure: Is it technically correct but more importantly, is it effective?

Storyline: Is the way the story is being told working for this story? How's the pacing? Was it confusing or muddled?

Character: Were the characters memorable and three-dimensional?

Dialogue: Was it organic sounding and well written?

After we fill out the grid with "fair" "good" or "excellent" for each element, we write about 1 1/2 pages of notes (depending on the prodco, some like more) and a synopsis. In our notes we say something (anything) nice then list the elements that are or are not working that justify the fact that this is a PASS or CONSIDER.

Then we write about one paragraph about each element and further backup our opinion with examples and comments. We don't say anything about how it could improve or be better, we just lay out why it's not working as a whole and/or why it won't work for this particular production company.

Obviously, notes for consulting clients dig much deeper into the how and why the script is troubled and seeks solutions. Writing coverage for production companies isn't that difficult because you don't have to put too much thought into it, you just look for certain qualities and rate them. Rarely - RARELY - have I ever really been on the fence about a PASS versus a CONSIDER. It's usually pretty obvious. And if the exec who reads my coverage simply doesn't get inspired by the logline, that's not my problem, I've already done my job.

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End of a Long Week

Another week winds down for the Wave-inatrix. My recycling bin is full to overflowing with scripts; I read five scripts from Monday morning until late Friday afternoon. One children's animated adventue, one action adventure, one science fiction and two vague dramas. That's approximately fifteen pages of notes and 20 hours of my time. Not a bad schedule this week. Sometimes I read closer to eight scripts. That's a bit too much, I find. When a production company asks for coverage though, you don't really have a choice. Unless you don't care if they drop you from the team which is what happens if you don't take assignments.

About half my work this week was private clientele, actually. Which I much prefer because those notes I put my heart into. If I don't know the writer from Adam because it's for a production company, well, I'll be honest, I time myself and I try to be efficient. I just want to get through it. PASS or CONSIDER - that's the bottom line.

That's why I started doing this privately. I care more. I guess that shows because Script Whisperer clients call me just to say hello sometimes and tell me how they're doing. I've gotten cases of wine, flowers, lucky plants and E-cards. Oh and a boomerang and tea towel from Oz once.

At the end of a long week of reading scripts, my desk is covered with brads, highlighters, pencils and post-its. Those are the tools of my trade. I pull out the brads first, lay the title page face up for over-all notes as I read through, and start reading. I highlight anything I think is either egregiously wrong or really really wonderful. I scribble pencil notes in the margin. When I'm done, I straighten out the whole script and pull all the pages with notes, reorder them and then write my notes, pulling pages for examples as I go.

I am amazed at my memory. Sometimes a script and writer will return to me after several weeks and yes - I remember the title, I remember the story. There are certain scripts I've read at production companies that really stuck with me. Books too. It's a strange sensation when you see a movie trailer and it s-l-o-w-ly dawns on you that you read that script three years ago. Oh yeaaaaaah!

And at the end of another long week of script reading I realize I already have next week completely booked too. Hey, it's a living, and one the Wave-inatrix is extremely grateful for. How many people pay their way by reading stories all day? It's a pretty cool job.

Have a lovely weekend, Rouge Wavers and remember to vote for the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Competition if you haven't already. This has been a real nailbiter!

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Malapropalooza

That's right, Rouge Wavers, it's that time. I have again collected a small sampling of my favorite belly-laugh malapropisms. I have a special glass jar where I plunk them when I find them and save them just for you. It's just a short list this time. Oh, but such a good one:

Polished to a “I”.

A mop has gathered to watch the stoning.

Our time is neigh.

A medic sows up his leg.

You loose, I win.

The crowd clams down.

Sigmund approaches the Maiterde.

A gigantic blue portly fish bodied bird faced creature flew by.

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Quik-E-Structure Check

Well, the voting on the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot competition has been highly entertaining to watch! Our 3 finalists must be biting their nails watching the percentages go up and down!

I thought I'd take this opportunity to give Wavers a quick way to check under the hood to see if the structure of your script is solid. So put on your grease-stained jumper, stick your wrench in your backpocket, turn your hat sideways and let's put your script up on the rack:

Take your script and turn to page 10. Write down any significant event that occurred thereabouts (two pages before or after is okay too)

Go to page 30 and do it again. Again, you are looking for a significant event.

Go to page 50 and do likewise, and then again at page 75ish.

Now look at the events you wrote down. They should be the most significant turning points, reversals and complications in your story - upon which the entire plot turns. You should be able to look at these events separately, without the window dressing of the scenes in-between. And they should still work from a bird's eye view of your script.

Well - how do the events you wrote down look? Pretty exciting? Does each one hinge on the last? Are the events causal, compelling and escalating in nature?

Sometimes when your script has made it into the "maybe" pile at a competition, a judge will glimpse at the synopsis of the prior reader and simply thumb through your script - to those significant act breaks, looking for exciting set pieces and turning points. Believe it or not - I've seen this done. One competition called it "the page 50 test".

So go on ahead and test your own script by checking these turning point pages. See anything good?

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For Your Consideration: The Top 3 Whiskey Tango Foxtrotters

Well Rouge Wavers, it's the day we've all been waiting for. The top 3 finalists in the Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot Competition. The Wave-inatrix received over two dozen submissions so the judging was tough. I want to thank everybody who participated! Now pay careful attention because here's how we're going to vote: See over to your right? On the sidebar? Click there for the title of the half-page scene you most enjoyed and which most embodied the creative joie d' vivre that the Wave-inatrix holds so very dear. And so, without further adieu, read on, dear Wavers:

FINALIST NUMBER ONE:

SOUPER TROOPER
by
Bernadette Rivero

INT. CAN OF SOUP - DAY
A commercial film crew preps for a shoot inside a three-story tall CAN OF SOUP. Nearby, a heavy-set CLIENT paces nervously.

Not-so-gently fading actress BLANCHE DESMOND - 60’s, whiskeyvoiced - perches on a diving board high above a pool of tomato bisque. Blanche brushes off nervous makeup assistant HONEY as the girl gamely tries to layer pancake makeup onto her weathered face.

BLANCHE
Get that spackle off of me. I
couldn’t care less how I look on
camera -- just like I couldn’t give
a shit about this soup if I
squeezed all night.

Honey GASPS, takes a step back and trips off of the diving board. One leg inadvertently HOOKS BLANCHE’S FOOT, pulling the old woman into the opaque bisque with her. A messy liquid tango results as the two women claw at each other. The crew is too stunned to move. Eventually, two bodies float to the surface of the soup -- both of them face-down.

THE CLIENT
(nervously)
Foxtrot, did you get that on film?

FOXTROT, the director, shakes his head “no.”

The client mops his forehead, breathing a SIGH OF RELIEF.

FINALIST NUMBER TWO:

JUNIPER
By
Jenny Thomas

INT. MANSION - BEDROOM - DAY
Yellowed newspaper clippings cover every wall, touting the career of JUNIPER LEWIS. From child star to superstar.

A foxtrot crackles from a record player.

Juniper (70s) sprawls in bed. An oxygen mask secured against her mouth. She takes labored breaths. She pulls the mask aside, applies a deep red lipstick over her thin lips.

The song switches to a tango. A YOUNG MAID wanders in with a cup of tea. She draws open the curtains. Flips on the television.

Juniper reaches under her pillow, pulls out a small whiskey bottle, adds a dash to her tea.

ON TELEVISION
Black and white footage. YOUNG JUNIPER (10) sits at a table with a bowl of soup.

YOUNG JUNIPER
Have you had your soup today?
Campbell’s of course!

Young Juniper backtracks. Skips into frame. Sits at a table. Slurps her soup. Over and over and over again.

FINALIST NUMBER THREE:

ALPHABETTIOS
by
The Moviequill

INT. DRESSING ROOM - DAY
Glossy 8X10s taped to a makeup mirror: publicity stills, vintage black and white movie scenes. The happy and vivacious STARLET in the photos looks to be in her 20s.

A wrinkled face stares back from the makeup mirror. SANDI CARUTHERS, 70, the same actress from the photos now in her waning years. No smile. The twinkle in her eyes long gone. Sandi takes a healthy sip from a whiskey glass, puts it down and picks up a makeup pad. She applies white powder to her face, totally whitening it out.

Vintage latin jazz MUSIC suddenly drifts in from another room. Sandi smiles as she finishes a layer of makeup. She stands and turns away from the mirror.

Sandi is dressed in an oversized fat suit made to look like the letter W. She begins a tango to the beat of the music.

A KNOCK on the door and a PAGE enters carrying a clipboard.

PAGE
Ten minutes, Sandi.

SANDI
It’s Miss Caruthers, sonny.

PAGE
Sorry. Is that a foxtrot? I think
I saw my Grandma do that at the
home once.

Sandi stops and glares at the Page. Wobbles.

SANDI
You wouldn’t know a foxtrot if it
bit you on your diaper rash...
(begins to foxtrot)
This is a foxtrot!

The Page rolls his eyes, shuffles his feet.

PAGE
I thought we were going to go over
your lines?

SANDI
I’m an Alphabettio in a goddamn can
of soup. I don’t have lines.

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Deadline Looms

ONE HOUR LEFT TO SUBMIT!

The Whiskey Tango Foxtrot competition deadline is 5pm Pacific Time - sorry for you Wavers in different time zones. I have received over two dozens entries and the competition looks stiff. Remember, the Wave-inatrix will post the top three submissions and Wavers will be the final judge. I think we all remember the super fabulous prizes.

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Good Question

A loyal Rouge Waver sent me a question today that many of us wonder about - even those of us already living in Los Angeles. And here's the question:

Do you think it is imperative that a screenwriter live in Los Angeles, or is it possible to function as a successful screenwriter in another state without having to relocate?

In my opinion, it definitely, definitely helps to be here, no question about it. But there are a lot of other things to take into account. A friend of mine and I were just discussing a really neat book called Your Money or Your Life about, well, your money and your life. More specifically, the book is about how you balance out how you want to live, where you want to live and what you want to do all day to support that. Los Angeles is very expensive. Take it from the Wave-inatrix who is currently seeking a 2 bedroom apartment in either West Los Angeles or Santa Monica and if you know of a great place, Let me know.

Ahem. Back to the question. Los Angeles is expensive, large, smoggy and sometimes a bit incestuous when it comes to show-biz. It's also vibrant and colorful with great weather, beaches and amazing diversity and great food. In other words, let us establish once and for all that yes, absolutely, living here is advantageous if you're pursuing a career in entertainment(writing or otherwise) but you have to be okay with living in Los Angeles, warts and all - even if the writing thing never takes off for you. So look at that way, dear readers. Don't move here thinking you will be rewarded instantly - or ever.

So what if you decide no way, I'm staying wherever I am - do you still have a shot? Yes, you do. Because good material will always out. Cream rises to the top. All that stuff. Say you have an identical twin and they have written exactly the same script only they live in LA and they have done some networking, elbow-rubbing and odd jobs. Will they have an advantage? With the identical script? Well, sure. But as long as you can fly out for a meeting on short notice and as long as you go that extra mile to develop relationships in any way possible - going to the upcoming CS Expo, pitchfests, taking the occasional weekend class at UCLA - then you should do fine. Because no packed up Uhaul is gonna write an amazing script.

It's not imperative. But it helps. It's your decision and your life. If you're happy as a clam at high tide where you are - stay there. If you're up for an adventure and a change and your expectations are totally realistic - maybe you should check it out.

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Self Doubt and Sabotage

The other day I was driving down Pico Boulevard when a cool idea for a kid’s book hit me. Excitedly, I turned the idea over and over in my head and began really taking seriously that I should start this book. Then it hit. The Don’t Bother Train. You know the one. It sounds like this:

All the stories have already been told. There’s just no point. There's too much competition. Throw in the towel. Forget it. Throw in the towel. Forget it. Don'tbotherdon'tbotherdon'tbother...

And that dark train of doubt rides on into the night leaving it's faint, melancholy whistle drifting on the wind.

Believe it or not, Rouge Wavers, this negative stream of consciousness is something that goes through my mind every once in awhile. And I am a relatively evolved, spiritual person who has been published multiply in the past. I have a manager, I have a writing partner and I have made writing, in one form or another, my life. And yet I still feel so discouraged by the enormity of it all sometimes. By the odds in Hollywood but worse – by the feeling that every writer has already said everything that there is to say.

The minute I began to think about my children’s book idea, about 38 reasons came to me why I shouldn’t bother. I sabotaged myself before I even began.

How does one fight that chug-chugging train of negativity and doubt that seems to seek out hope only to crush it under its wheels? The Wave-inatrix says:

If writing brings you joy – just do it. Believe that you have something to say and believe that it’s worth the effort. You might just have a brilliant story inside of you, or an Academy Award winning movie. Or a moving poem. You might have a charming, heartfelt story that will be published in the Reader's Digest or simply pressed between the pages of a book and discovered and relished by your grandchild. Write because writing feels good. Write because writing is a gift and it is yours to develop and enjoy.

When you feel too discouraged and the odds seem crushingly, completely stacked against you – take a break from it, get out and exercise, do something fun and then later on, sneak back to your quiet desk – you know you will – and get back to work on that script, novel or essay. Do it for the primal joy of storytelling and the intoxicating romance we have with words. Odds schmods. Tell me a story.

As for that cool kid's book idea? I have begun to outline.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Thomas A. Edison

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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot format

Many Wavers have emailed and asked about format: pdf is fine, as is, quite honestly, word. It's only a half-page scene and once I choose the top 3 I will have to cut and paste into the Rouge Wave anyway, so the format will be wonky in any event.

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Rouge Wave Scene Competition

REMINDER: The deadline for submissions for the Whiskey Tango Foxtrot scene competition is Monday August 6th. The Wave-inatrix will choose the top three submissions and Rouge Wavers will have a week to vote.

Here are the parameters:

Write a half-page scene which includes: Cosmetics, an aging movie star and a soup commercial. Choose a genre. Make it funny, make it scary, make it poignant - heck, make it ON GOLDEN POND but you have only 1/2 page to do so. And here's the fun part: you must include the words whiskey, tango and foxtrot somewhere in the short scene.

The winner receives a $25 gift certificate for either the Landmark Theaters, AMC or California Pizza Kitchen (winner's choice) and 25% discount on any Script Whisperer service (winner must take advantage by August 31st).

Submit HERE

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The Sideways Rewrite

I love my job. I love reading, I love writing, I love writers. There are upsides and downsides but mostly I can't believe I get paid to read stories all day. But there's one task I really hate and that's telling a writer, the second time I see their script, that their rewrite was no improvement. In fact, now the script just has a whole new set of similar problems. I call this the Sideways rewrite.

Here's what usually happens. The writer gets notes from me - and my notes are usually over-arching in nature - I don't micromanage and I don't try to take over your creative process. But for some writers, these over-arching notes are their darlings. They listen to me, they nod earnestly and I think they may even take notes. But they don't want to really take a hard look at the main character's passive flaw. Or the crux of the conflict in the premise. No - they want to write the same script they just wrote. So they do. They simply rewrite it and come up with a whole new set of problems because they didn't address the larger issues.

How can you make sure, as you approach a rewrite, that you are really going to be effective? You don't want to do as above and rearrange the script so that you have the same script with new problems, nor do you want to absolutely eviscerate the script so that you have the same problems with a different story or worse - wind up with Frankenscript; born of desperation, stitched together clumsily and chased out of town by torch-bearing villagers.

When you get notes, write them down and group them by element. Then make a rewrite plan. And each time you open your script to work on it, work only on that particular element. Keep focused, in other words, on the element at hand: main character, ticking clock, structure, dialogue - whatever it happens to be. Do not wander off into making a scene funnier or scarier - stay on task.

I know the temptation to make changes but not improvements. My writing partner and I recently got a note on our latest psychological thriller that irritated and confounded us. So we had a meeting to talk it through. We each came up with some excellent, scary moments that would be just GREAT for the first act. But we stopped and realized that was not the problem. Our note was not add more scary moments. It was activate the story earlier. Big difference. But we love writing scary moments - we have more ways to kill a character than you'd ever want to know. But the meat-and-potatoes of the note was actually structural in nature. We had to stop funning around with scary moments and do the harder work of reviewing the structure and making creative choices that were not so easy to toss out on the spur of the moment.

How do you know you're doing a Sideways rewrite? Well - you'll feel vaguely as if you're going around in circles. You'll make a change on page 12, then go to page 37, then page 101 and back again. You'll tweak, in other words. And there will be a slight feeling of defiance within you as you rewrite. Defiance mixed with dread. You know in your gut the script is not really improving.

The most heartbreaking thing I have to tell a writer is that he or she just wasted an entire rewrite and two to three months of their time because they did a Sideways rewrite. It happens to the best of us - I've been guilty of it myself. But as with so many things, awareness is the first step to breaking the pattern. If your rewrite feels too easy - it probably is. Slow down, make a rewrite plan and stay focused. Have specific rewrite goals in mind. Articulate them. And make sure you don't wind up with another version of what wasn't working the first time.

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