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Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Robotard 8000

About a week or 10 days ago, I found the Robotard 8000 online. At first, I thought it was a joke. But the reviews of this script are by some pretty well known people. The site streaked around the intertubes with comments like - Have you SEEN this? Is this for real? ROFL what is this??

Is it a hoax? Is it a stunt? Is this by some unknown writer from Nebraska, desperate for attention? And if so - is this a genius move or is it the move of a, well, robotard?

I am told that this script is actually written by an A-lister associated with Will Ferrell. I have also been told this script was written by a collective of A-listers. I don't think anybody knows for sure but I'll tell you this - the script is hilarious. Not the most brilliant script I've ever read but what I like about it is that it is totally in keeping with the title of the script - BALLS OUT. Any script that starts with "fade the f*ck in" has my attention. The script is playful and ridiculous and offensive. And it's a quick, funny read.

Publicity stunt by a collective of A-listers or a hoax, you really should read the script for a sense of what "having fun on the page" looks like. The premise may not be the most original, but it's evident on page one and every page thereafter. The action lines are pithy, yes there are a few typos here and there, but it moves quickly and it's just so entertaining that you can't put it down. I read the first 30 pages while I was supposed to be doing something else. I just couldn't stop.

And that, Wavers, is how you want people to feel about your script. They just can't put it down.

So for a quick, fun, totally offensive read, stop by the Robotard 8000 and check out the script. The loglines on the very last page are the comedy topper of toppers.

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Belzecue said...

"face the f*ck in"

Well, yes, that takes it to a whole new level, but 'fade the eff in' is the actual quote. (Did Julie just 'rouge wave' herself? W00t!)

Julie Gray said...

@Belzecue - you know darn well that until my assistant proofs my posts I am as apt to make mistakes as anyone without an amazing assistant ;)

Christian M. Howell said...

Yeah, I read that. it was funny in it's own sick way. Some of the ideas are worth stealing, but some were ehhhh.

What stood out was the heaven scene that started his "descent."

In some ways it reminds me of "Bad Influence" with Rob Lowe and James Spader.

Christina said...

It's definitely a fun read.

The domain name, however, is registered to someone in suburban Ridgefield, Connecticut. I did a search on the address and through political contribution listings which include addresses, figured out who lives at that address. I won't state his name, but this does not look like the (computer) work of an A-lister. Sorry! If I was an A-lister covering my identity, I'd register my domain privately and use my hosting company as the technical contact.

Unless these A-listers are soooo clever they used their brother's address in Connecticut as a cover. I dunno. I smell a stunt of some sort engineered by an amateur.

Julie Gray said...

@Christina - the A-lister rumor I heard is from a very reliable source. So I think there's some IP address cleverness going on. I actually heard it's a publicity stunt for a movie upcoming. But I really don't know.

chaia said...

@Julie - aww! :>

I'd missed the loglines when I read it last week or so...VOLQUAKO! made me LOL quite hard. And then actually start outlining.

Karen said...

You need to scold your source, Julie. I know the identities of the writers behind it, and they\'re not A-listers.

Anonymous said...


It IS an A-Lister...or several of them. Read the registered name VERY carefully to yourself a few times.

I am going to drop the name here, because it's very obviously fake. I will also mention now that it will, once read properly, offend at least someone.

The name is Lou Skunt.

Yeah. See? Definitely not a legit name. It's dirtiness makes a lot of sense too given the script (which I loved, by the way).

Plus, the Robotard 8000 would have to be an absolute IDIOT(s) to attribute fake quotes to real famous people. They would have their asses sued off, which indicates those quote are real...which indicates they have access to A-Listers, which indicates they are already well broken in to Hollywood.

PJ McIlvaine said...

You really thought this was hilarious? I read the first 30 pages or so and gave up. I didn't think it was funny at all, and this from the girl who grew up on THE THREE STOOGES. Give me IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD any ole day.

Christina said...

@Nicholas - Yes, I saw that they used the name "Lou Skunt" and yes, I can pronounce very slowly and get the joke. Ha Ha.

No, you didn't read my comment all the way through - I put THE STREET ADDRESS they used in the domain name listing to find the name of the guy who really lives at that address (a real address), and the person that lives there is - surprise - not named Lou Skunt. He's got a much more normal name and contributed $1,000 to Obama this year according to the Huffington Post. Most likely a friend or brother of the A-listers, or web guy, or something.

You can fake a name through network solutions easily (at least, I have), but I doubt the address is fake.

Stan said...

Why after all the red flags and warning signs I decided to give this giant turd of a script my attention I have no idea. Never made it past the first scene. Insult my intelligence, sensibility, and humanity twice within the space of your opening image is why I turned movies like Wedding Crashers and Waiting off after the first minute or two any way. Pure garbage! Excuse me while I vomit--all over this script! Words can't describe-- no wait, they can. And they're all expletives!

Benjamin said...

We are neither A-Lister nor n00bs.

We are indeed A-List adjacent. In fact, as you can see from the comments on our site, we are A-List beloved. However, in fairness, I/we must mention that we are also A-List reviled.

There are some pretty astute analysis of what we set out to do with this screenplay if anyone is interested.

Therobotard8000 is a friend to all people.



Michael said...

This screenplay is spectacular ... and not because it's some ground-breaking comedy (though it does have good parts -- BRRAAGGHH, Jimme more!) But because it is written BALLS OUT.

It seems that at least half of what's funny about this screenplay is how it's written -- written in a way that doesn't seem like it would translate *at all* to the screen. "Fade the f*@k in" is just one small example. The characters CO-WORKER 2: THE SPAWNING and BLAH, BLAH are another.

BUT, it's a great tool to learn from: The EXTREME situations that lead to absolute cringe-worthy reactions; the concise, amazing action lines that sometimes literally -- KA-POW! pack a punch; and as Julie mentions the ever-present voice.

Oh, and Tom Cruise! Mayge that's the real ticket to success... just have Tom Cruise in every screenplay. :)

James said...

It's hilarious.

When I was reading it I was getting a Will Ferrell vibe. Thought it might be a Ben Stiller-camp script though because of Tom Cruise.

Mongo said...
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