The Reader Cabal: Sorting Fact from Fiction

It is a little known fact that we readers are a secret society with an underground headquarters, special hand signals and a hazing ritual that few survive. Conspiracy theorists have speculated as to the location of our lair but so far we have eluded discovery. We are super elite, we know more about films, writing and life than you ever will. We are trained killers, just waiting to assassinate your script. We want to crush your hopes and dreams beyond repair. We laugh about you during our secret meetings.

None of those things could be further from the truth. Except the secret handshake. But here are some truths that might be helpful:

Readers are usually also writers. We usually work at home. We read for generally two or three companies at the same time. We don’t really care which companies they are but in Reader World, the higher profile the company, the more respect we gain. We read between five and ten scripts a week depending on time, energy and the availability of scripts. We have to drive to go pick up scripts. We do not get paid mileage. If we do not make ourselves available to pick up scripts, the work goes to someone else. If we are not available for a week or two, we stop receiving requests. During the holidays and film festivals, we don’t get much work. We bill for our work and sometimes it takes upwards of four weeks to get paid. We get paid extra for “overnights” which is to say dropping everything at say 5pm, driving to the production company, picking up the work and then turning it in before 9am the next day. Sometimes executives are really nice to us, they ask how we are and they talk with us about what we’ve read. Other times, they only cast us cold, reptilian stares as if we are the algae on the bottom of a rock.

We don’t care which genre we read. The first thing we do is pour a big cup of coffee or tea, sit down and flip to page one. We read about two lines. Then we flip to the last page and see how many pages there are. We learn something about what kind of writer you are instantly, from that page count. We take out the brads and get out a highlighter and a pen. Sometimes a notepad too. We read quickly and scan over action lines that are poorly written and dense. Dialogue lines tell us what is happening the most, so we zoom in on those. We highlight names, places and dates so the script is easier to synopsize. If the script is boring or otherwise bad, we take breaks to put another load of laundry in or answer the phone. If the script is really great, we look up and notice we haven’t budged for the hour it took to read it. When we read something really great or funny we scribble – GREAT – next to it. When we read something really awful or poorly written we write things like KILL ME NOW or NO WAY next to it.

We finish the script and pull the pages with notes. We write the synopsis usually from memory only. We have to write about a page and a half of synopsis; it depends. Some production companies want really detailed synopses, others not so much. If the script was really great, we spend more time on the synopsis. If we have to refer to the script pages more than once or twice to write the synopsis, this tells us the writer didn’t execute the story that well because it was convoluted or confusing. Then we write about one and a half pages of commentary. We start off with a nice comment, even if it’s lukewarm. We have to. The writer could be the executive’s wife, cousin or best friend. We never know. And we have had bad experiences with that before. After the nice comment in which we find something – anything – nice to say, we say in one sentence why the script is a go or no-go. Top reasons the script is a pass would include:

• Unoriginal premise
• Two dimensional characters/bad dialogue
• Poor structure, unsatisfying payoff
• Little or no commercial appeal; this is not a money maker
• This script is too much like some other movie this company already made or another movie currently out in theaters
• This script does not match the mandate of the company

Then in the coverage, we dig a little deeper and cite examples of our no-go reasons. We hesitate to give a script a “consider”. Sometimes we wuss out and give a script a “consider with reservation”. We do this because once we say “consider”, our asses are on the line. Remember the execs with the cold, reptilian gaze? You haven’t lived until you’ve had one of those call you into their office and ask why you gave this script a consider. Now you have to defend the script. It’s rare that we really want to put our reputations on the line for a script. Sometimes we pass on a script and later read about a six-figure sale of the same script in the trades. We just shrug it off and chalk it up to subjectivity. Sometimes the weight of our subjectivity wears on us; we are paid for our opinions. It’s a big responsibility. Are we correct? How do we know the market – that’s the execs job! But this is what we are paid to do. And if we buckle, if we show weakness, another reader will take our job. Confidence, speed and professionalism help us keep our jobs. It helps if our own writing is pretty good. That way the execs respect us. We might get a Christmas card or small gift during the holidays. Depends on the company. We hang on to our good jobs because they are hard to come by. We learn a lot from your mistakes. We feel bad for you sometimes. Sometimes you make us pretty cranky. We get inordinately happy when your work is good. You just made our day. We can’t believe we get paid to read such good stuff. At the end of the day, we are you. We are writers too. And we’re pulling for you.

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