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Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Battle Plan: Ass in Chair


Have you ever noticed how phenomenally hard it is to get the writing ball rolling? You think about your script. You ought to be working on it today, right? But there's laundry to do. And the grocery store. Oh - and email, tons of those to answer. Gotta walk the dogs. Pay bills. Call so-and-so back. You really don't have time.

I'm here to say - yes, you do. You really do.

Here is my time honored method. Sit down at your computer. Open the script file. And just stare at it. No - don't skip over to a message board. Just stare at your pages. Scroll up. Scroll down. Pretty soon you'll find a line of dialogue to change a little. You might make some notes to yourself. Scroll up and down again. Get overwhelmed by what, exactly, needs to be done on the script today. Look at your outline again. Stare at the blank pages that follow page 10. Pretty soon your eyes start getting tired. Close them for a sec. But don't move. Do not let yourself move from that spot. Put on a timer if you have to. It won't take long before grudgingly, you change an action line to shorten it. Then you'll go to the scene you left off on. And you'll type some really bad dialogue. But that's okay. Don't judge it. Just type it. Keep going. Tell yourself that before you get up, you'll write three pages of your script. Bad dialogue and all. Long action lines and all.

Writing is rewriting but the blank pages don't fill up magically, they fill up by pure determination and gluing your behind to the chair. And once you get some stuff down you'll be bummed to notice that your allotted time has already passed and you have to return to the more mundane tasks in your day.

It's sort of like working out - I know I have a JILLION great reasons why I don't have time to do it. But I put on my iPod and think okay, whatever you do today, it's good. Just move your body. And pretty soon, I find myself feeling energized, proud of myself and more relaxed and fulfilled - and ready to move on to other things with a better, healthier attitude.

Sometimes writing is a battle of wills. Some days it flows like water. But you'll never find it out if you don't sit down and create the space for the writing to show up. Try it. I promise you, you'll write SOMETHING worth keeping. And you'll get that ball rolling. Even on days when you have a million excuses not to do it.


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Friday, January 9, 2009

The Assistant Files



It's a new year and a lot of folks are in the market for new jobs, myself included.

Looking for an assistant gig in the entertainment industry can be absurdly difficult. Often you have to know someone just to get your resume in the door. You endure multiple rounds of interviews, usually starting with the outgoing assistant, who will give you the stinkeye and declare that you've never worked a desk as intense or busy or important as THIS one. It's enough to make a girl want to scream, "Listen, people. I know how to answer the phone. IT'S NOT BRAIN SURGERY."

Because there is such hot competition for even the most entry-level positions, sometimes we lose sight of whether a given job is one that we'd WANT. And with job postings so full of industry catchphrases, sometimes it's hard to tell just what the job entails. So I've compiled a list of common job posting language for your reference. Interpretations are based on my own experience and may differ for individual users.

*****************

Andy's Guide to Understanding Hollywood Assistant Job Postings:

Typical assistant duties: Rolling calls, scheduling meetings, reading minds.

Thick-skinned: You will be yelled at a lot and blamed for things that could in no way possibly be your fault. Crying is not allowed.

Long hours: Say goodbye to your non-industry friends, your pet, and sleep.

Organizational skills: You'll be expected to know at a moment's notice the exact location of every scribbled note, scrap of paper, and crumpled receipt that has ever crossed your desk. You'll keep all of these items indefinitely, in a meticulous filing system, even though you've also committed them to memory.

Must be flexible: You'll be required to run personal errands.

Must be discreet: You'll be required to run embarrassing personal errands, and claim them as your own.

Attention to detail: You'll be expected to remember which restaurants your boss has approved for lunch meetings, exactly how he takes his coffee, and which corner of the desk the trades should be arranged on before he arrives in the office each morning. Slack on any of these and you'll likely need to employ that Thick-Skinned quality, so I hope you weren't padding the ol' resume on that one.

Strong computer skills: The company doesn't have an IT department, so you should know how get all of the computers up and running again after he crashes the system trying to download the latest celebrity sex video.

Excellent phone etiquette: Must be able to lie convincingly on the phone.

Excellent communication skills: Must be able to decipher cryptic phrases such as, "Andy, why don't I see that thing on my calendar?"

Ability to anticipate: You'll need to provide a synopsis and a new copy of that script he took home but didn't read, without being asked, and in time for the meeting where he will pretend that he read it.

Desire to learn the industry: You'll eagerly memorize the phone number and client roster of every agent in town. And you'll do it for peanuts because the experience is so invaluable.

Ability to handle a demanding environment: Your boss will demand one crazy, unreasonable thing after another. You'll handle it.

xxoo,
Andy Sachs


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Thursday, January 8, 2009

SAG Strike - Please, God - No!

Hello, Wavers - I received this video today via the Save the Biz organization and I thought it was a good message and that I ought to share it with you. I don't know enough about the issues on the table with SAG and the AMPTP but I do know a strike would be debilitating for so many who work in the industry. You can make up your own mind.

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StoryLink Article: New Years Goals

Each month, I write an article for the StoryLink Ezine. Here is this month's article:

Question: “What is the best way for a writer to reinvent him/herself when approaching the new year?”

Answer: This is an ideal time to take stock of where you are as a writer and what goals you should set for yourself in the new year. January just happens to coincide with Hollywood slowly ramping up again after several weeks of holiday hibernation. Additionally, most competitions set their deadlines in April, May, and June, and the staffing season for television revs up in the spring as well.

Whether it’s the cusp of a new year or not, you should be doing a few things on an ongoing basis: 1) Educating yourself with classes, workshops, and books. 2) Networking with other writers at events such as the Great American Pitch Fest, the Creative Screenwriting Expo, or consider joining (or forming) a writing group. 3) Making time each day or week to write and continue generating material (this includes ideas, by the way) and 4) Creating and maintaining balance in your life by taking care of yourself. Get enough rest and exercise and read books and newspapers to feed your imagination.

Not only is the new year a great time to renew your goals and determination, it’s also a great time to take stock of your inventory. How many scripts are you working on right now? What state and stage are they in? If at the beginning of 2009 you’ve only written two or four scripts, I’d really focus on generating new material this year. You want to have several scripts in your arsenal before seeking representation. If you feel you do have a pretty great arsenal, you still need to be generating material at the same time as querying reps, entering competitions, networking, etc. You need to treat your writing as a small business – with a multi-faceted approach to incremental success with tangible goals and deadlines.

In terms of reinvention, you might also take a look at what has been working – and not working - in the past. If you’ve been querying with no read requests, it might be time to take stock of where you are on the learning curve. Taking classes online, such as at Writers University, can be a great gift to yourself in 2009. I particularly recommend UCLA Extension Writers' Program courses. They have a wide variety of screenwriting classes to choose from and the winter quarter begins soon.

Another good thing to check in with is which genre have you been writing. Are you certain the genre you're writing is the one for you? I wrote rom coms for a long time without breaking in more than winning a competition, but, when I switched genres to thriller, I got a manager and had that script in development with a major studio. Is it time to consider a genre switch for you? For me it made all the difference.

Set some goals for 2009: Choose at least two or three competitions to enter. This gives you deadlines, which are so important to writers. Set a goal of starting and finishing two full-feature scripts this year. If you write television scripts, write two original and two spec scripts. You can do it. There’s more than enough time. Set aside time to write on a daily basis, if you can. Even one focused hour will yield real progress. Read produced scripts. You can find them online pretty easily and each script takes an hour or so to read. Why not commit to reading two scripts each month for inspiration and motivation? See movies regularly. You can do this with your family and it doesn’t cost much to go to the video store.

Writers don’t reinvent themselves as much as they evolve. It’s a journey. And like any other journey, there are setbacks, roadblocks, and detours. All of us would like to snap our fingers and just arrive at our destination without having to go through the woods, over the bridge, and across the meadow. But that’s not how life works and it sure isn’t how writing works. There’s an old adage that says: The difference between writers who make it in Hollywood and those who don’t is that those who make it never give up.

To sum up:

Take inventory of your writing arsenal
Consider taking some classes
Consider switching genres
Network with other writers and industry professionals
Read produced scripts
Reset your goals for 2009
Stick to the deadlines you set for yourself
And write. Every day!


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Okay, Not This. TOTALLY Not This!

So the other day - wow a lot of my posts begin that way - tell me if the Rouge Wave descends into what I had for lunch and I'll have myself taken away to farm...oh dear, where was I? Oh yes, hung out with a dear friend who was utterly stumped with a very good problem on her hands. Her manager sent her to a meeting and at that meeting a producer threw her a premise and asked for her to work up a "take" on it. That means she is to write a treatment and submit it to see if she might get the job of writing the script. She's a good writer but this premise is just one half-step to the left of what she usually writes. And she was stumped.

So over coffee (it wasn't yet 5pm), we brainstormed about the premise until she wound up with enough ideas and inspirations to write her "take."

Remember the video I posted here some time ago...?



As my friend and I were brainstorming we said to each other, referring to the video above, not this but - well, NOT this but what IF - and when we were able to playfully enter the zone of ridiculous ideas and laughter, slowly, out of that arose some really great ideas.

You can brainstorm with anybody. Yes, it definitely helps if your brainstorm partner knows a little something about character, structure and film but they don't HAVE to - maybe you have a friend or your spouse or a fellow writing group member who would be willing to brainstorm with you. The only thing you should remember while brainstorming is that you are looking for ideas of all sorts but you are also looking for significant act break beats. Sometimes brainstorming sessions can descend into free form spitballing and you can get a bit swept away in an avalanche. Remember to grab a tree now and then so that you can write down ideas that actually do hold down the bit of your script that you're looking to pinpoint as jumping off points. Somebody has to be the designated driver - wait, wait - what is the INCITING INCIDENT?

Brainstorm playfully and often. It's good for your writerly soul.


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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Structure and Sequence Writing

This from the RW mailbag:

Understanding that the first act breaks into two around page 25, how does one still write in 10 page sequences? Does the first act break into 2 halfway through the third sequence? While also understanding that these aren't hard and fast rules, I am confused how sequences 'overlay' or 'interwork' with the 3 act narrative.

You'll see from the question that I'm a total newbie, but I'm also totally confused.
-David in Dunkirk

Nothing wrong with being a newbie and nothing wrong with asking great questions, David.

The sequence method is something that I tout a lot because I love it and it really, really works for me. So here is an overview of that methodology:

The 12 Sequence Outline:

Imagine that each sequence in your script describes approximately 10 pages of material (ten minutes of screen time) and that your script is about 100 to 115 pages long (work with me people; I am quite loathe to set down rigid numbers on topics like these as there are always variants by story and by writer. So these numbers are flexible and approximate):

ACT ONE: 25 to 30 pages-ISH
Sequence One: 1-10 - the inciting incident
Sequence Two: 10-20
Sequence Three: 20-30 – first plot point, act break or pinch*

*so in other words, somewhere between pages 25 and 30 is your first act break. But in the macro, your first act break falls within the 3rd sequence.

ACT TWO: 50 pages-ISH
Sequence Four: 30-40
Sequence Five: 40-50
Sequence Six: 50-60 – the midpoint somewhere around page 50-ish
Sequence Seven: pages 60 to 70
Sequence Eight: pages 70 to 75
Sequence Nine: pages 75 to 80 – the second plot point, act break or pinch*

ACT THREE: 15 to 20 pages- ISH
Sequence Ten: pages 80 to 85
Sequence Eleven: pages 85 -90 – climax/battle scene
Sequence Twelve: pages 90 -95 - the resolution and aftermath

And - look at that - this sequential narrative template doesn't EVEN go to page 100. That's okay. We're not going to worry about math as much as we are about ratios. Further, you’ll notice that not all sequences have ten pages; here is a good place to note that while generally each sequence will have about ten pages, the further you go along in your script, the more compressed each sequence becomes. Because remember, in a script, events escalate furiously as we near the end. Because tension is rising and things have snowballed into bigger and bigger stakes and entertainment. Also we know that third acts are not as lengthy as the first or second act in your script; the material is not evenly divided by dint of the job that the third act has to do.

The sequence method is a guideline. What is crucial is that you think of each sequence as a unit. I like to use the image of the Jacob's Ladder - you know, that wooden toy for kids? Each unit has a beginning, a middle and and end - which forces the next sequence to click forward. Set up, complication, resolution. Complication, resolution, reversal. So each sequence contains conflict which clicks the whole story forward into the next sequence. Now, that said, some sequences bear more dramatic weight than others, due to where they fall in the structure template. Ergo the bold-faced bits above.

Now personally, I don't like to put any more labels or constraints on my sequences than knowing approximately where the big structural beats should fall. Over time, this becomes second nature anyway. I know that the Save the Cat beat sheet has specific Save the Cat moments which get slotted in. I've seen other labels and templates put over the sequential narrative as well, the Heroes Journey and whatnot. I prefer to use a more free form method because I personally get hung up when I look at sequence, I don't know, five and it says: the hero unties his shoelaces here and finds the elixir in the cave and saves a cat. That doesn't exactly apply to my story and I don't like using anyone else's terminology with which to frame MY story. I might have a metaphoric cat-saving in my first sequence - make your main character likeable - I get it, thank you very much. But beyond that, since each story is so utterly unique, framing and reframing and labeling and relabeling basic story beats to me just adds confusion. Of course your story will contain an archetypal template but that's in your bone marrow - you don't need to be told that. I have a problem, in general, with over intellectualizing screenwriting. Many writers (including myself in the early years) can become enslaved by that.

I hope this answers your question, David. I know meander and use mixed metaphors but my main goal is to SIMPLIFY screenwriting, not make it more confusing. I hope I have not just made it more confusing. Many a writer spends part of their evolution getting really locked down into PAGE NUMBERS and other academic constraints. But if you keep writing and keep at this, eventually all of this becomes second nature and you begin to jump off of it and use what works for you.



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Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Page Count Clinic


Good morning, Wavers! I inexplicably slept for 10 hours last night. I have no idea why so I just count my blessings that my lifestyle gives me the latitude to do that and get on with my day.

Ahem. Onward.

A commenter on yesterday's post wondered why BENJAMIN BUTTON appears to have a very loose structure and, I assume, intimated that we should not be as concerned with getting structure right when there are (truly) so many exceptions. Yes, there are many exceptions to the rule. But until or unless you have made it - are repped, are pitching, are sold or selling - you MUST understand exactly how structure works and you must demonstrate this in your writing. Exceptions are no excuse not to know exactly what you're doing in the now. Aspiring screenwriters are like nascent cooks - you must stick to the recipe in order to learn. Once you've made it over the moat that separates aspiring writers from paid ones - then and only then can you begin to put the recipe book down and vary from it when it comes to things like structure. Yesterday's discussion of structure was a rudimentary one - of course there are all sorts of jumping off points.

Additionally, before we get to today's topic, one cannot know what went on in the production of a major motion picture unless one was there. The script may have been tightly structured but somewhere in development, decisions were made to add more and bigger set pieces that plumped the structure up until it is what it currently is - pretty free form. Or not. We have no way of knowing unless we can ask that question directly of the writer. One can spend all day every day finding exceptions. Aspiring screenwriters trying to break in don't have the luxury of stepping off with new and wacky structural techniques. You need to show a rep or producer that you have basic screenwriting craft down cold before you start popping wheelies.

So on to the topic of the day: The Page Count Clinic

Another commenter said: Do you have any suggestions for reining in runaway page count, other than the obvious of scene chopping solution?

Yeah, no, I dunno. Good luck with that.

Wait, I'm getting too cavalier lately. Forgive my insouciance. Yes, there are a few things you can do to cut down on page count. When I write, I never, ever worry about page count in the early stages. I don't care if my whole script, from fade in to fade out has 72 pages. That gives me room to expand and add more set pieces and more character development. I don't worry if my script has 132 pages either - that's an opportunity to take what I have and distill it into sharper, more powerful pages.

So when you have too many pages that's the opportunity begging to be had. Distilling 10 okay pages into five GREAT pages.

There are two fundamental ways to approach reducing your page count - reviewing each SCENE for relevance and then reviewing each and every PAGE to see where you can cut a line of dialogue, two lines of action, etc.

SCENEWORK
When it comes to each scene, do the scene test: Does this scene contain a relevant beat? Does this scene concurrently develop character? Does this scene contain the thematic undertones of your premise? Does this scene, in other words, absolutely carry its weight and earn its spot in the script? Think of yourself as the captain of a ship loading up to head out to sea - is this scene necessary? Does it earn the spot on the ship? Or is it ballast that can be tossed because it will only weigh the ship down?

PAGEWORK
Once you're confident that every scene is absolutely necessary, go over every single page and look for ANY opportunity to reduce your action lines from three lines to two. Are there entire action lines that break up dialogue between characters? Are you over-directing the characters, in other words? Is there another way your character can express his or her thoughts in half the dialogue? Is your character actually repeating him or herself? In the same way that grapes are stomped down into a pulp which will ferment into wine, pages can be s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d down into more powerful stuff too.

Something I like to do which seems a bit arbitrary is to say to a writer - okay lose 10 pages off this script. I don't care where, I don't care how, just do it. And to a one, the writer comes back aglow with accomplishment and sleeker, faster, more powerful pages.

Just given that marching order with no parameters is empowering because when it comes right down to it, it's not rocket science to look at your pages and see where the fat is.

So you may want to try that first - just take 10 pages out of your script. Open that sucker up and go. If that feels daunting or directionless, try reducing pages using the following steps:

Do a structure check: Are your act breaks falling on or about pages 10, 25, 50 and 75? How far off are they? Remember, this is a ratio based on the Golden 100 Page Script. Is the ratio about right? If there are 50 pages between act breaks, you have now pinpointed where the problem is in your script. So focus on that section.

Do a scene review: go through each and every scene and ask it these questions: What's your name and where are you from? Well, no, maybe like: What is the BEAT in this scene? Is there one? Does this scene absolutely and without question move the story forward? Does it develop and reveal more about your character? And ideally - does it do both? Does this scene jump in late and get out early? Could the scene move a long even a little faster?

Do a global page reduction: Go through every single page and find any and all lines that can be cut. Anything. Dialogue, action lines - nothing is safe. Go pithier. Use more powerful, evocative words. The sun shines down on this suburban neighborhood. Dogs bark, children play and the mailman makes his rounds - which is not bad - might then become: Another sunny day in this family neighborhood; kids play, dogs bark. - We lost seven words in the second example. Maybe we don't need the mailman. Or do we? Go through every single action and ask - what is really important to point out here? Is the word 'suburban' really critical? Or does 'family' do the job? That's your call. But I guarantee that you will find TONS of things you can reduce just slightly. Writers tend to overwrite and over direct scenes. Strip each scene down to the bare bones using words that deliver the feeling and imagery important to the scene but that literally take up less space.

Depending on where you are as a writer - the global page reduction method is probably the best way to cut down on pages. You'd be surprised - even the most advanced writer can always find extraneous stuff on his or her pages. Newer writers are more likely to have scenes that are not necessary at all. If you're not sure where to begin, I'd follow the steps above in that order without worrying about what your total page count should then be. Just follow the steps and then check in again. Did you lose 10 pages or so?

If you have to lose more than 10 pages you either have a problem with the structure full stop or you have a major issue with overwriting pages.

If you have 10 pages or less to lose, you probably just need to trim action and dialogue on your pages.

Writing IS rewriting. I love trimming pages because it's not a punishment, it's a challenge. How can I make what's here work BETTER than ever before? It's like chipping away at the marble to reveal a finer, more beautiful image. It is making wine from grapes, it is squeezing the - okay I've run out of weird metaphors but you get it.

In general, as a rule of thumb*, I always like to shoot for the Golden 100 Page Script. If you're writing comedy, romcom, thriller or horror, this page count is actually pretty sweet. If you're writing scifi, fantasy or drama, you might wind up with 110 pages. If your script has over 115 pages, you need to pull the car over and see what's going on. It might be fine but it also might be your clarion call to write sleeker, more powerful pages. No matter what your page count, you can always produce better pages than the ones you currently have. I guarantee that. In fact, that's a whole other blog post - when to STOP tweaking!

*stuff it, Anonymous.*

*This seems like a good time to explain my "stuff it, Anonymous" disclaimers. A couple or three times a week I get comments or emails from disgruntled Have-to-be-Righters who tell me how WRONG I am. Everything on the Rouge Wave is from MY perspective and MY experience. Anyone who takes what I say as gospel should have his head examined. These are all suggestions and advice. Do what you will. Do what works for you.




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Monday, January 5, 2009

Let's Talk About Structure and Also Poker


First, totally unrelated to structure - this from today's Variety Online: The record-breaking 2008 domestic box office proves Hollywood isn't as dependent on by-the-book franchises as everyone feared. It will also be remembered for prospering even as the economy collapsed.

To read the rest of the article, click HERE.

Now. I thought maybe we should get down to brass tacks. Let's talk about structure. A topic that for many makes the blood run cold. Three acts or four? Inciting incident on page five or 10? First act break on page 25 or 30? Get character up in tree, throw rocks at character. Right? Forget all that stuff for a minute.

There is no element in screenwriting that can be discussed totally unto itself. Well, you could, and people try to, but it doesn't make sense. Structure in particular is the hub of the wheel and is closely tied to character and premise. We know that the structure of a screenplay is roughly a three act proposition. I personally like thinking of it in terms of four acts - but that's hair splitting; four acts is just the second act divided in half. So we might have:

Act One: pages one-25
Act Two A: pages 25-50
Act Two B: pages 50-75
Act Three: pages 50-100*

*I am using the magical 100 page script here for two reasons. One, it's not a bad page count to aspire to and two, it just makes the math easier. If you script has a longer page count, the ratios here still apply.

We know we have certain milestones in the three or four act structure:

The inciting incident which falls anywhere from page one to page 10 (latest, kids, latest). Another name for this milestone might be: Why did I buy a ticket to this movie? When is all the stuff I saw in the trailer going to start to happen?

The first act break, which falls right around page 25 or so. And we might call this: I forgot to buy M&Ms I'll just be a minute - oh HEY, what's this? I'll get them later.

The midpoint, which falls, yup, dead center. And we might refer to this as the okay forget the M&MS, the Coke, forget everything, I cannot leave this seat, things just heated up - again!

The second act break, which falls just before the third act, so in the area of page 75 or so. And we most definitely can refer to this one as: I have to use the restroom but...but...I HAVE to see what happens now!

So we know this, right? Each portion of the structure ramps things up to engage the audience in more interesting and complicated ways. Sucking them into the story more and more. That's looking at structure purely from an entertainment factor point of view, not a story point of view. This is not the gist of what I want to talk about today but it's a useful way to think of structure. Every 25 pages or so you have to turn up the heat so that your audience is more committed, more curious and more entertained by what's going on.

But of course, you cannot accomplish this by adding rhinoceros stampedes, BIGGER rhinoceros stampedes and flying monkeys - when you've written a romcom. Well, maybe you could. Here's the thing, once you understand structure from a purely academic point of view and with the use of my handy Audience-ometer Structure Guide (patent pending) as above, you have to design your structure in such a way that it makes sense for your premise and for your character. Structure and character arc are indelibly linked. Like Siamese twins.

Many new writers think okay I'm on page 25, something a bit bigger needs to happen here. It's a sort of structure by numbers methodology. It is helpful to chart out your character's arc relative to the structure. Things like rhino stampedes are only a good escalation for a certain type of character. Maybe in JUMANJI this makes sense.

The escalation embedded in and implied by structure has to make sense. What is the worst thing that COULD happen for THIS character at THIS point of time given THIS premise?

Again, anybody can simply jot down what I indicated above:

Act One: pages one-25
Act Two A: pages 25-50
Act Two B: pages 50-75
Act Three: pages 50-100

But this is only an academic understanding of structure. Again, what is the worst thing that could happen to your particular character at this point in the story? And are you going to be able to top that organically, within the premise, in another 25 pages? I actually take some issue with the macro view statement that you get your character in a tree and throw rocks at him. What character? In what tree? What kind of rocks are these? It's all relative to the story you are telling and the type of character inhabiting this story. The act breaks for DIE HARD are in no way related to the act breaks in RAIN MAN. Yes, they fall in approximately the same places but that isn't specific enough to be helpful.

So much of screenwriting is like that - we are all taught the academic perspective but one size does not fit all. And that's part of the journey of being a screenwriter. We learn about the various elements from a macro view but it is only as you gain more experience that you can get a feel for the jumping off points and after you've written a few scripts, structure just starts to come naturally to you.

Imagine thinking of structure as a poker game for your main character - and he or she really doesn't want to be there at all. Your main character doesn't know how to play poker, never played a hand in his or her life and would much rather go home. But this is a movie and you the writer are God. You have literally thrown your character into a high stakes poker game against his or her will. There's no going home there's only winning or losing. Or is there a third way?

At each structural juncture, your character is more and more screwed in this imaginary poker game. At the midpoint, he or she is all in. With a bad hand. Audiences are conditioned to believe that your main character will in fact succeed. But with that hand? All in? It's not possible. Or is it?

Just some food for thought on this Monday when the holidays are behind us and the new year lies ahead. Maybe you already have structure nailed. But for many new screenwriters, structure, which is deceptively simple, is a very difficult thing to wrap their minds around. Try looking at it from three points of view: Academic, Audience-ometer and Character Arc.


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Saturday, January 3, 2009

What it's Worth

The other day I took a meeting at the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel. In the Polo Lounge, to be exact. The type of place I used to frequent in my past (married) life. All white gloves, caps, red carpets and deferential greetings. It's not that the food at a place such is this really is that much better - some of my favorite eateries in San Francisco and Los Angeles are in the funky neighborhoods - no, it's the service. The unmitigated, all out attentiveness. That's what you have to pay more for and that's what you get at high end establishments. And you know what? It's pretty darn nice to be treated as though you are important and your needs and comfort matter.

That's how I felt when the Mini-W and I saw THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON at the Arclight Cinema in Hollywood yesterday. The movie clocks in at something like two hours and 45 minutes but for us, it was two hours and 45 minutes of white glove, tip capping, door opening "good morning, ma'am." Every detail of the movie was designed for your viewing pleasure and satisfaction. From the clever button CGI Paramount logo at the beginning, to the lush soundtrack, gorgeous set design with fastidious period detail, to the exacting makeup and beautiful cinematography to the stellar acting, resonant theme and satisfying ending.

Now, when you're writing a script and if you should get so lucky as to sell it and if you should be so spectacularly fortunate to see it produced, the production values and budget are totally out of your hands. But you want to write a script that is so fantastic that the producers of the subsequent movie are so passionate about it that there is a beautiful collaboration in bringing your story to life. But the most wonderful production values in the world cannot elevate a hollow story. So the lowest paid, least glamorous, generally unknown writer of a movie really does play the most important part. Because without the heart and skill you pour onto your pages, nothing else really matters.

Most aspiring screenwriters think they have to please an agent or manager with their writing. And they do. But you want to write a script that not only gets an agent or manager excited, but also gets a production company excited as well. And not just one guy at the production company but several. A great number of people have to get on board in order to push your project forward. That any movie ever gets produced is a miracle. When that movie is good, it is a major miracle. When it is great - well, that's some kind of magic.

Your script has to generate a viral excitement. No matter what the budget is, you are writing something that needs to fuel the passion of a cinematographer to do her best work, for a director to get excited with his or her vision for the movie, for a set designer to pull out the stops, for costume designers, makeup artists and grips to do their best work. Because when everybody is passionate about your script, when they really GET IT and LOVE IT, then movie magic can happen.

The amount of collaboration on a movie is staggering. If you've ever visited the set of a major motion picture, you know that it takes a small city to make a movie. The number of people on a set is absolutely mind-blowing to me. Every time. I don't get over my awe.

A good friend of mine who has worked in production for over 20 years now likens film production to launching a small, highly organized army for an offensive. Every single day. For weeks. Walkie talkies buzz, people ride by on bicycles, trucks pull in and out loaded with lighting and equipment, assistants scurry, stars rehearse their lines, extras await direction, caterers provide a never-ending supply of hot food, directors sit behind the camera, brows furrowed, having long conversations with producers and the DP over this or that scene or shot. Booms raise and lower and huge cables snake everywhere. It is another day at work for many, but to me, it is mindboggling how this organized chaos coalesces into a movie.

Everyone is working on making your story come to life. They're happy for the work and happy for the opportunity to have a credit that highlights their respective technical or creative skills. Everybody wants the movie to do well - of course.

But it all starts with you. One line of thinking is that you should write what YOU are passionate about. Period. Don't try to second guess the market, this line of reasoning continues, just write your heart out. Don't worry about what is "hot" right now or what feedback you might get from a producer - just write what totally ignites and inspires you.

And I do subscribe to that philosophy, very much. But something begins to happen over time, as your screenwriting skill and intuition sharpens - there is an intersection of what makes you passionate and what makes others passionate as well. The more you write, the more you begin to intuit universal resonance in film.

This is what usually happens for screenwriters*

Write semi-autobiographical, dramatic, fairly dull script with your very low, newbie skill set.

Write a derivative riff on some movie (or movies) you really personally liked - but fall short.

Write about three more of those.

Have some kind of existential crisis and write a slasher when you hate slashers.

Write a script that you like and that others like too but that is not commercial enough.

Write about three more of those.

*I say generally because by and large this is the pattern. But there are always exceptions, so stuff it, Anonymous.

Then, one day, after having written about 10 scripts that went nowhere, you have a flash of insight. It's almost a religious experience, this insight. You get an idea to write something you really love and you have a very rebellious "screw it" attitude. But you smile to yourself while writing it because you have a weird feeling deep in your gut that you have in some way arrived at the creative crossroads of writing what YOU love but with an understanding of what audiences love too. And it is usually THIS script that finally gets you repped, optioned or sold. Because you simultaneously don't give a good god damn what anybody else thinks and know that this is exactly the attitude that's going to show on the pages and make them sing. You've stopped being so careful about your writing. You've stopped second-guessing every idea, every page, every character. You're finally in the zone. You feel confident. You've found your voice.

Now, there are no guarantees that that script really will sell or be produced. But now you are a real contender because you can replicate this experience into your next script and your next.

You can't go around it, you can't go over it, you have to go through it. Which is why screenwriters don't generally skip crappy scripts one through ten and just write a great one. Because there is a learning curve. It's repetition and frustration and learning. It's wax on, wax off. One day, everything just clicks. But scripts one through ten were important too. They were part of the learning curve.

We'd all like to hit the fast forward button and just arrive at total balance, abundance, wisdom and maturity. We'd all rather have skipped the painful, acne prone high school years or the bad marriage entered into too young or the unfortunate incident at the margarita mixer party. But we become the sum of our experiences and if we hadn't had them - the good and the bad - we wouldn't be who we are today. It's the same with writing. How could it not be?

Well then, how does one start off screenwriting with the knowledge that your first few scripts are going to be terrible? You can't. You have to believe each one will be great - just like you really believed that electric blue suit you wore to the prom was really great. But when the script falls short because you get no read requests, or you get a set of notes with global notes advocating a total page one rewrite, you simply have to shrug your shoulders and go for it. Again. Writing is not a destination, it's a journey. A pretty long one. Know that now and embrace it. Nothing worth having comes easy. But tell you one thing, when you slid into that electric blue suit for prom, you looked in the mirror and you thought - damn. Right? Am I right? You had to. Else you never would have gotten out the door.

Now here's a truth difficult to hear: Only a few writers will write 10 scripts and then experience success by way of a sale. A tiny fraction of all aspiring writers, in fact. I know. It's depressing. But it's the case. Because we have an unknowable, unquantifable quality at play here - talent. Do you have it? If you could know that now, with certainty, the game wouldn't be very fun to play, would it? You knew before you started writing scripts that there is absolutely no guarantee of anything, right?

And yet - there's pleasure to be had in the undertaking. Because like all those dancers, musicians, sculptors, poets and writers that came before you - the unsung and the successful - you are driven to create. So that's what you should be doing. Regardless of the outcome.

That's my wish for you in 2009: Enjoy this journey of creation. Keep it real, keep your eyes wide open, but when you open up your computer to write, do it with all your heart. No matter what the outcome of your writing is, you're doing something that is in my view pretty mystical - you are creating something from nothing. And there's nothing more meaningful and worthwhile than that.


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Friday, January 2, 2009

How Many Movies Were Released in 2008?

573 titles. Isn't that amazing?! It's a huge number. Now, many of these films were quite small (see the note below about what qualifies a movie to be on this list) and many were clearly a pretty bad investment. Go to Box Office Mojo to find out how each performed. Nonetheless, I do find this total number encouraging. Sure, sure, it might be less than in 2007 (I actually don't have stats on that, but this is what I am told) but let's not be negative, this is the Rouge Wave after all.

573 movies were released in 2008. Let's get your movie on the list for 2009, shall we? And not up for Razzie consideration! Which is the provenance of this list, by the way. I don't keep a notepad of stuff like this. I'd have to be freakishly organized. No, I rely on the hard work of OTHER people when providing nifty lists on The Rouge Wave. Thank you, Other People.

Enjoy skimming through this lavish list and coming upon titles and thinking, hey wait - whatever happened to that movie? TOWELHEAD had that affect on me. Right, right, that Allan Ball movie. Kerplunk.

*****

COMPLETE LIST of ALL 2008 RELEASES

January 1st through December 31st: 573 Titles

NOTES: To appear on this list, a film must have played at least a one-week/regular admission engagement in either Los Angeles or New York (Manhattan) commencing during calendar year 2008, thus qualifying it for both Golden Raspberry and Academy Award consideration.

KEY:

a = Animated

d = Documentary

f = Foreign Film

R = REMAKE

S = SEQUEL




21

27 DRESSES

88 MINUTES

$9.99

1968: TUNNEL RATS

10,000 B.C. / R

Able Danger

Adam Resurrected

The Air That I Breathe

Alexandra

Alice's House

Alice Neel / d

All in This Tea / f

Allah Made Me Funny: Live in Concert / d

The Alphabet Killer

The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela

America the Beautiful

AMERICAN CAROL / R

American Teen

American Zombie

Amusement

Anamorph

The Animation Show #4 / a

Anita O'Day: The Life of a Jazz Singer

Antarctica

Appaloosa

Ashes of Time Redux / f

Asian Stories (Book 3)

August

August Evening

Australia

B.O.H.I.C.A.

Bab Aziz (The Prince Who Contemplates His Soul) / f

Baby Mama

Babylon A.D.

The Babysitters

Baghead

Ballast

BANG COCK? DANGEROUS! / R

The Bank Job

Battle in Seattle

Be Kind, Rewind

Beautiful Losers

The Beautiful Truth

BEDTIME STORIES

BEER FOR MY HORSES

Beaufort / f

Beauty in Trouble / f

Before the Rains

Ben X / f

Beverly Hills Chihuhua

Beyond the Call / d

Bigger, Stronger, Faster / d

Billy

Billy the Kid / d

The Black Balloon

Blind Mountain

Blindness

Blindsight

Bloodline

Boarding Gate

Body of Lies

Body of War / d

Bolt / a

Bomb It! / d

Bonneville

Bottle Shock

Boy A

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Bra Boys / d

Breakfast With Scott

Brick Lane

Brideshead Revisited / R

The Brothers Bloom

Burn After Reading

The Business of Being Born

Bustin' Down the Door / d

CSNY/Deja Vu

Cadillac Redords

Call + Response

Captain Abu Raed / f

Caramel / f

Cassandra's Dream

Changeling

Chaos Theory

Chapter 27

Charlie Bartlett

Che / R

Chicago 10

Children of Huang Shi

Choose Connor

Chop Shop

Chris & Don: A Love Story / d

A Christmas Tale / f

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian / S

Ciao!

CJ7 / f

Circulation

City of Ember

City of Men

The Class / f

Cloverfield

College

Constantine's Sword / d

The Cool School / d

The Counterfeiters / f

College Road Trip

Cover

Crossing Over

Cthulha / f

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Dare Not Walk Alone / d

The Dark Knight / S

Dark Matter

Dark Streets

THE DAY THE EARTH BLOWED UP REAL GOOD / R

Days and Clouds

DEAL

Dear Zachary

DEATH RACE / R

Deception

Defiance

Definitely, Maybe

Delgo / a

The Dhamma Brothers / d

Diary of the Dead

Dimished Capacity

DISASTER MOVIE

Doomsday

The Doorman

DR. SUESS' HORTON HIRES a HO / a, R

Dostana / f

Doubt

Dragon Hunters

Drillbit Taylor

The Duchess

The Duchess of Langleals / f

The Dukes

Dying to Live

Eagle Eye

Eden

The Edge of Heaven

Eight Miles High

Elegy

The Elephant King

Elsa and Fred

Encounters at the End of the World

The Exiles

Expelled / d

Expired

The Express

THE EYE / R

Faded Memories

The Fall

Fall of Hyperion

The Favor

Fears of the Dark

Felon

Filth and Wisdom

Fighting for Life / d

Finding Amanda

The First Basket

First Saturday in May / d

FIREPROOF

FIRST SUNDAY

Flash of Genius

Flash Point

Flawless

Flight of the Red Balloon / f

FLY ME TO THE MOON / a

The Flyboys

Flow / d

FOOL'S GOLD

The Foot Fist Way

Forbidden Kingdom

Forever / d

Forever Strong

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

FOUR CHRISTMASES

A Four Letter Word

Four Minutes / f

Fraude: Mexico 2006 / d - f

Freebird

Frost/Nixon

Frozen River

Fugitive Pieces

Funny Games

The Garden / d

Garden Party

Gardens of the Night

GET SMART / R

Ghost Town

A Girl Cut in Two /f

Girls Rock!

The Go-Getter

God and Gays: BRidging the Gap / d

God Bless This Couple / f

Gomorrah / f

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson / d

Good

A Good Day to Be Black and Sexy

Good Dick

Gran Torino

The Grand

The Grocer's Son / f

Gunnin' for That #1 Spot / d

Hamlet 2 / S

The Hammer

HANCOCK

Hania

Hank and Mike

Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert / d

M. Night Shyamalan's THE HAPPENING

Happy-Go-Lucky

Harold

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay / S

Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29 / d

Hats Off / d

THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY

Heavy Metal in Baghdad / d

Hell Ride

Hellboy II: The Golden Army / S

Henty Poole Is Here

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR / S

Holding Trevor

Hollywood Chinese / d

THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE

Hounddog

House

The House Bunny

House of Adam

House of the Sleeping Beauties / f

The House of Usher / R

How About You

How She Move

How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

Hunger

I Can't Think Straight / f

I.O.U.S.A. / d

I Served the King of England

Ice Blues

IGOR / a

Imaginary Witness: Hollywood and the Holocaust / d

In Bruges

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

The Incredible Hulk / R

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull / S

IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE

Irina Palm

Iron Man

I've Loved You So Long

J.C.V.D.

Jack & Jill vs. the World

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Jellyfish

A Jihad for Love / d

Johnny Got His Gun / R

Journey to the Center of the Earth / R

JUMPER

Just Add Water

Just Buried

Kabluey

Kenny

Kicking It / d

The Killing of John Lennon

Kiss Me Deadly

Kiss the Bride

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl

Kung Fu Panda / a

Lake City

Lakeview Terrace

Last Chance Harvey

The Last Mistress / f

Last Stop for Paul

Leatherheads

Let's Get Lost / d

Let the Right One In

Liberty Kid

The Life Before Her Eyes

Little Big Top

Little Chenier: A Cajun Story

The Little Red Truck / d

Live and Become

Loins of Pujab Presents

Lord, Save Us from Your Followers / d

The Longshots

The Lost

Lost in Beijing / f

Love & Honor

Lou Reed's Berlin / d

Love Comes Lately

THE LOVE GURU

Love Songs (Les Chansons D'Amour) / f

Lower Learning

The Lucky Ones

MAD MONEY

Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa / a - S

MADE OF HONOR

Mamma Mia!

A Man Named Pearl / d

Man on Wire

Marley & Me

Married Life

The Matador / d

Mattie Fresno and the Holoflux Universe

MAX PAYNE

Meet Bill

MEET DAVE

The Memory Thief

MEET THE SPARTANS

The Midnight Meat Train

Military Intelligence and You!

Milk

Miracle at St. Anna

MIRRORS / R

Miss Conception

Miss Pettigre Lives for a Day

Mister Foe

Mister Lonely

Momma's Man

Mongol / f

Morning Light

The Mother of Tears

Moving Midway

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR / S

Murder.com

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL

My Blueberry Nights

My Brother Is an Only Child

My Father, My Lord

My Name is Albert Ayler / d

My Name is Bruce

My Winnipeg

Nana

Nanking / f

National Lampoon's Homo Erectus

NEVER BACK DOWN

Never Forever

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Nights in Rodanthe

Nim's Island

NOBEL SON

Noise

No Regret

Noah's Ark: Jumping the Broom

Note by Note: The Making of Steinway L1037 / d

Nothing But the Truth

Nothing Like the Holidays

Obscene

On the Other Hand, Murder

On the Rumba River / f

One Day You'll Understand

ONE MISSED CALL / R

Opa!

The Order of Myths / d

Orthodox Stance / d

OSS-117: Cairo, Nest of Spies

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

Otto, or Up with Dead People

OVER HER DEAD BODY

P.J.

Paranoid Park

Partition

Passing Poston / d

Pathology

Patti SMith: Dream of Life / d

Penelope

Pineapple Express

Ping Pong Playa

The Pink Conspiracy

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything / a

Planet B-Boy / d

A Plumm Summer

The Poet

Poisoned by Polonium: The Litvenenko File / d

Polar Opposites

Uwe Boll's POSTAL

Poultrygeist

Pray the Devil Back to Hell / d

Praying with Lior / d

A Previous Engagement

Priceless / f

Pride and Glory

PROM NIGHT / R

The Promotion

Proud American

THE PUNISHER: WAR ZONE / S

Quantum of Solace / S

QUARANTINE / R

Quid Pro Quo

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi / f

Rachel Getting Married

RAMBO / S

The Reader

Red

Red Roses and Petrol

Redbelt

Refusenik / d

Religulous / d

Remember the Daze

REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA

Reprise

Retrieval / f

Revolutionary Road

RIGHTEOUS KILL

The Rocker

Rock-n-Rolla

Role Models

Roman de Gare / f

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired / d

Romulus, My Father

THE RUINS

Run, Fatboy, Run

Running with Arnold / d

Santouri the Music Man / f

Sangre de Mi Sangre (Blood of My Blood) / f

Savage Grace

Save Me

Saving Marriage / d

SAW V / S

Secrecy / d

A Secret / f

The Secret Life of Bees

The Secrets / f

SEMI-PRO

SEVEN POUNDS

Sex and Death 101

Sex and the City: The Movie / R

Sex Drive

Shelter

Shine a Light / d

Shoot Down

Shoot on Sight

Short Order

Shotgun Stories

Shrooms

SHUTTER / R

The Signal

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 / S

Sixty-Six

Sleepwalking

Slumdog Millionaire

Smart People

Smother

Snow Angels

Solar Flare

Son of Rambow

Soul Men

SPACE CHIMPS / a

Special

SPEED RACER / R

The Spiderwick Chronicles

THE SPIRIT

Splinter

Standard Operatng Procedure / d

STAR WARS: CLONE WARS / a - S

Stealing America: Vote by Vote / d

STEP BROTHERS

Step Up 2: The Streets / S

The Stone Angel

Stop-Loss

Stranded

STRANGE WILDERNESS

THE STRANGERS

Street Kings

Stuck

Sukiyaki Western Django

Summer Love / f

Summer Palace / f

Sunflower / f

SUPERHERO MOVIE

Super High Me

Surfer, Dude

Surfwise

Swimming in Auschwitz / d

SWING VOTE

Synecdoche, New York

Take

Takeout

Talento de Barrio / f

The Tale of Despereaux / a

Taxi to the Dark Side / d

Teeth

Tell No One / f

Ten Nights of Dreams

Tennessee

Then She Found Me

Thoda Payar, Thoda Magic / f

A Thousand years of Good Prayers

Time and Winds

Timecrimes / f

Tinkerbell Movie / a - S

Tired of Kissing Frogs

'Tis Autumn: The Search for Jackie Paris / d

Toots / d

Towards Darkness / f

Towelhead

The Tracey Fragments

Trailer Park Boys: The Movie

Traitor

Transpoter 3 / S

Transsiberian

Tre

Tropic Thunder

Trouble the Water / d

Try Loved

Trumbo

Tyring to Get Good: The Jazz Odyssey of Jack Sheldon / d

Turn the River

Tuya's Marriage / f

TWILIGHT

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns

Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys

Under the Same Moon / f

Undoing

The Unforseen / d

The Universe of Keith Haring / d

The Unknown Woman

Unsettled / d

Untraceable

Up the Yangtze / d

U2 3-D / d

VALKYRIE / R

Vantage Point

A Very British Gangster

Vice

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show / d

The Visitor

Vivere / f

The Violin / f

W.

The Wackness

Waiting in Bejing

A Walk into the Sea / d

A Walk to Beautiful

Wall E / a

Waltz with Bashir / a - f

WANTED

War Eage, Arkansas

WAR, INC.

Water / d

Water Lillies

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

Wendy and Lucy

Were the World Mine

Wetlands Preserved: The Story of an Activist Rock Club / d

What Doesn't Kill You

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

What Just Happened

What We Do Is Secret

When Did You Last See Your Father?

Where God Left His Shoes

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? / d

While She Was Out

Without the King / d

WITLESS PROTECTION

THE WOMEN / R

Wonders Are Many: The Making of Doctor Atomic / d

The World Unseen

The Wrestler

X-FILES: I WANNA BE LEAVING... / S

XXYY

The Year My Parents Went on Vacation

The Yellow Handkerchief

YES MAN

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Young and Restless in China / d

Young @ Heart / d

Young Yakuza / d - f

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zombie Strippers


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Thursday, January 1, 2009

Movie-palooza

As the Mini-W and I are wont to do whenever we have one to two weeks of holiday time, we again went to Hollywood Video and swiped whole shelves of movies at random and watched them all in an orgy of movie gluttony. If you're a long time Rouge Waver, you know that we are totally omnivorous. We'll see anything. Generally, we try to stay away from the New Releases because we've already seen many of them and if we haven't, there's plenty of time. We go for the stuff on the second shelf from the bottom in the quiet sections and we go for the Movies We Should Have Seen. So here's what we've seen so far (oh, we still have a few days left. Just watch us.):

HAMLET2: Other than a couple of pretty hilarious moments, not as funny as we thought it would be. We really, really wanted to love this movie. One particular line of dialogue that is totally horrible and inappropriate is very, very funny and if you've seen this movie, you know what I mean and you laughed too. Rock Me Sexy Jesus is funny but we just sort of ran out of gas on this movie.

SABRETOOTH*: Total B-movie HILARITY. A highly recommended rip off of Jurassic Park (Primal Park: Genetic Engineering at a Reasonable Price). Sample dialogue: "We've done tests. The cats are bulimic."

*Yeah, I spelled that the way they did. British affectation or bad spelling? We don't know.

BLUE DEMONS: B-Movie but with an ironic wink, therefore not as hilarious. Genetically altered sharks chase down - wait for it - nuclear weapons at sea. Electronic readings of red dot groupings of sharks moving up coast - hilarious. Not as funny as SHARK SWARM.

FEAR: Mark Wahlberg stalks Reese Witherspoon in this 1996 thriller set in Seattle. Good but not particularly memorable. As far as crazy-teen-stalker movies, we preferred SWIM FAN.

RESIDENT EVIL: We LOVED it but have been warned again the sequels. Milla Jovovich receives four out of five bad ass points for amazing martial arts moves in a red cocktail dress. Scientific explanation for zombies was buyable, creepy child-hologram of the Red Queen was very cool.

CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS: One of the most engrossing, compelling, disturbing documentaries we've ever seen. Highly recommended. Will provoke an interesting conversation and some depression later.

STEPBROTHERS: Brothers were clearly functionally retarded not charming or funny man-boys. Impossible to relate to or root for main characters and their parents were remiss not to put both "men" on the short bus on the way to special class rather than force them to live on their own. This gap in logic perplexed and annoyed us. P.S.: Dear Judd Apatow and ancillary crew - man-boys are neither charming nor funny. Please stop making movies.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT: As mentioned on an earlier post - we LOVED this clever horror gem.

SHIVER: Spanish-language horror film brought to us by the producers of THE ORPHANAGE (which we loved). Great production values, some scary moments but overall, not super memorable. Clever twist that we didn't see coming but it's delivered pretty early.

DEEP SHOCK: B-Movie carnage with some hilarity. The monster turns out to be giant sea eels that look like something from THE NEVER ENDING STORY - thing is, these eels can read your mind and also email you. You think I'm kidding.

MULBERRY ST.: An offering from the Eight Films to Die For annual film festival. Good production values, effects and acting. Surprisingly good zombie flick.

RUN FAT BOY RUN: A stylized romcom starring Simon Pegg (who we LOVE) and directed by David Schwimmer. We liked this very much. We were surprised and slightly uncomfortable to note that Hank Azaria is RIPPED.

FIRST BLOOD: This first installment of the Rambo series seemed dated and... didn't work for us. The thing tied on Rambo's head was super goofy looking. Heartfelt soliloquy at end of movie was pretty amazing but it was too little too late. Oft imitated since, possibly seminal at the time, this movie felt thoroughly dated.*

*Note to self: Should probably watch seminal movies when they are released, not 26 years later.

EQUILIBRIUM: This sci-fi movie depicts a dystopian future in which having emotions is illegal. Starring Christian Bale and Emma Watson, this movie should have been great but - wasn't. Great action sequences although weird gun-ballet-martial-arts thing was unintentionally funny.


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