The Dreamer's Disease

Being a writer can be a singularly frustrating, unrewarding career. It feels like shouting into the wind. Weeks, months – sometimes years go by without professional validation, recognition or reward. And yet we keep doing it and we’re not sure why. Some days, we feel ultra-charged up; happy and excited about what we’re writing and about our prospects. We feel high – we probably are high – and creatively en fuego. Other days – and sometimes for days on end – we can barely get out of bed. It all seems an exercise in futility. The story isn’t working and we feel with a certainty that we are awful writers and that everyone around us is simply too nice to say so.

Many writers literally do suffer from depression. If you are one of them, welcome to the pantheon; the list of famous writers who have struggled with it is long indeed. Is suffering an inevitable side-effect of the writing life? Does it make you a better writer? The jury is out on those questions but the Wave-inatrix does recommend that if you really do think you have depression, see your doctor about it. It's not glamorous, it's debilitating and you can and should feel better and still be creative.

But let’s assume for a moment that it’s not clinical, it’s just the writing life that sometimes gets you down. The first thing you need to realize is that all writers feel this way sometimes. And secondly, this thing, this dream we’re chasing is ridiculous. But that’s why we do it and that’s what makes writers writers and artists artists. Because against all odds we continue creating worlds on paper; ideas flow into us all the time – we scribble on napkins and matchbooks, we eavesdrop on great dialogue at the diner, we read the news and imagine a scenario which springs from it, we love words, we type really fast and we sometimes spend more time at the computer than with other human beings.

Wavers, it is a well-known fact that the odds of selling a script are astronomically high. But they are zero if you don’t try. The Wave-inatrix recommends diversifying; don’t just write scripts. Exercise your writing muscles and broaden your writing world by trying short fiction, essays or poetry. Have many irons in the fire. It helps buoy up your hope, provides an outlet and helps take the focus off of the script you sent in to a competition two months ago. I have two short stories out being reviewed for publication right now, another I’m working on and a feature script in play as well. While I try to not think about those things but rather keep writing, it is somehow comforting to think that I might receive some professional recognition on several fronts. It’s kind of like mom used to say: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Wavers, when you feel yourself down in the dumps, when writing feels a Sisyphusian not to mention idiotic task, when you are sure you should give it up and take that job at the widget factory, take a deep breath and roll those shoulders. What you are feeling is what all writers feel from time to time. All writers – published and produced included. It’s part of the job description.

Know that it won’t last. Know that the impulse to create is an honorable one and that this uncontrollable urge you have to shape words into stories is something that must express itself. And during the dark periods when you just can’t imagine writing today because it’s so pointless:

Get out of the house
Exercise
Go see a movie
Cook something delicious
Go the bookstore and treat yourself to some books

And ask yourself…

Is there anything I’d rather do?

Recommended reads:

On Writing by Stephen King

The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

Rejections of the Written Famous by Joyce Spizer

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