Bulletin Board Items

Item: Congratulations to Mike Perri for his winning logline, The Sailor. Mike will be donating his $25 winnings to a local animal shelter here in Los Angeles.

Item: Saw Coraline last evening (pronounced: cora-LINE) and forgot it's in 3-D. Wild, wacky, trippy and brain-melty. Plus it's very fun to turn around and see everybody in those goofy 3-D glasses. For that reason alone, you should go see it. Felt longer than it really was. Very Lewis Carroll, not for everybody.

Item: I reckon I get 50+ emails on a daily basis. Per the pinging blog post, no hard feelings if it takes a while to hear from me.

Item: The Silver Screenwriting Competition is getting ready to open its doors on March 1 so if you're thinking of entering this year, get ready to rock it. Final deadline is May 1st so you have some time but the early bird gets the discount if you submit by March 15th.

Check out the grand prize:

• MacBook Air*
• iPhone
• Round trip flight to Los Angeles
• 3 nights accommodations at the London Hotel on the Sunset Strip, home of chef Gordon Ramsay's newest restaurant
• A day of meetings with 3 managers
• Cocktails at the Chateau Marmont with The Script Department
• Lunch at the Ivy with a TBA A-list screenwriter
• $750 in cash

*or cash equivalent if you're an IBM aficionado.

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Ping Me

So this pinging thing - how did it become part of the vernacular? Ping me! I'll ping you! Let's ping him! Nonetheless it is descriptive. It's a nudge. A tinny hello down the wires. A wink. A nod. A Riiiiiicolla! (I can't for the life of me understand why Ricola me didn't take off as a colloquialism but then again I never thought the internal combustion engine would be a hit so color me dense.)

So where were we? Ah yes, pinging. Pinging might in another, more formal blog also be described as "following up." You meet someone at a networking event. They agree to "have coffee" or "read your script" but when you ping them a week later, they ignore your email. I say ignore because they saw it all right. But they had post-networking-why-did-I-promise-that regrets. So you wait another week or three and ping them again. They feel bad so they at least email back with some probably semi-true story about being very "slammed." You wait another month and ping them again.

Now this is the turning point. The fork in the road. One of two things is going at this juncture:

They are either truly, deeply annoyed and forward your email to their assistant with the note Who is this jackass? Tell him I'm having face surgery for the rest of my life!

or -

They break down some and think you know what, fine, I'll have ONE CUP OF COFFEE with this person.

I know this because I have done it. Broken down and had a cup of coffee with someone who kept pinging me. Partly out of assuaging my own feelings that I have been perhaps rude and partly - no wait - no, that's it. Just to not feel like a rude, cold or unfeeling person.

How can you tell if you've pung one too many times? Are you being persistent or are you stalking? Well, I would think that if someone SAID they'd have coffee with you or read your script, if they looked you right in the eye and said that, that you have some latitude with the pinging. Even if you feel rude or oddly persistent. Even when you're beginning to feel like a wallflower begging for a dance. Keep pinging. Politely. Sporadically. Ask the person you're pinging how they are. Comment on their latest hilarious blog entry, their script sale or fabulous new hair cut. Flattery will get you everywhere. Because what's going to happen is that you might just wear the person down and because you pinged that one, last time - they will probably break down and meet you finally.

Now I know this sounds counterintuitive, you're thinking, gosh, if I met an agent or manager at a pitch fest for example, and I ping them more than once or twice, aren't I some kind of creepy, entitled CAPE FEAR person?? The more I ping, the more annoyed they get - it'll have the opposite effect. Well - it can. It sure can. But that persistence could also lead to an amazing opportunity, introduction or relationship. You may just ping the object of your pinging on a day when he or she is bored and they might think you know what - FINE - I'll meet this kid/writer for ONE beverage. And that could be your lucky day. Persistence can pay. I have met a number of people for coffee over time because they were politely persistent or because I was politely persistent. No guarantee any professional relationship will arise - but who knows, right?

So you've met a writer, actor, producer, agent or manager at an event. Here's two to-ping-or-not-to-ping scenarios:

Scenario One:
The person you have met is polite but a bit distant and they do NOT agree to read your work, meet you or anything else. They don't offer a business card either. In fact, they move backward slightly while you talk and scan the room over your shoulder. They are polite and pleasant but totally vague.

Should you ping them later? Not if they didn't give your their business card and not if they expressed zero interest in you or your script. No random pinging, please. If they did give you their card but your experience of them was not particularly energized, ping them once, ping them twice - and definitely let it go. They're just not that into you. You'll get put on the "no call" list. I know of two super persistent pingers this happened to. Believe it. If you get rebuffed by silence more than three times - you're not pinging anymore - you're stalking.

Scenario Two:
The person you met was warm and friendly; they looked you in the eye and when you asked if they can read your script or have coffee sometime they nodded, smiled and said "sure." They really looked at you, man, they really SAW you.

Should you ping this person? Did they mean what they said? Well, they were probably punch drunk and on auto-pilot when said they'd read your work or meet you for coffee. They said that to 10 other people too. They don't remember your name, they don't care that much but it was the polite thing to say. Should you ping them? Oh, of course. Ping once, ping twice, ping three times before you give up trying, in this scenario.

Pinging persistently can absolutely pay off and pay off big. You might actually get that script read, or form a new professional relationship. But do your pinging well. If you ping someone for the first time, do it about three to four days after you met them. Hey, met you at the thing with the thing, just wanted to thank you for an informative evening, love to have coffee some time. Done. You hear nothing back, so ping them again in about three to four weeks - Hey so and so, just checking in. How's your thing with the thing? I read about your sale in the trades - congratulations! My script is coming along pretty well. In fact, I wondered if you might have time for a coffee? No accusations, no guilt-tripping, no you-never-answered-my-other-email. NO NO NO. When pinging be as obsequious the second time as you were the first time. Remind the pingee where you met. Do NOT expect them to remember you.

Persistence can be very high yield - you never know - it might just be your lucky day when you ARE able to meet up with someone in person who might be able to help you out. After three pings (at the most) please let it go.

Remember, part of the reason people agree to "read your script" or "meet you for coffee" is that they are doing a rapid-fire calculus - maybe this writer is someone I WANT to know...they never know, right? But people are busy and they do forget, so keep pinging every once in awhile until the silence or "I'm slammed" blow-offs are loud and clear to you.

There are some who would disagree with me and would champion pinging ad infinitum. I personally send those pings to my assistant with the face-surgery-into-perpetuity note. But maybe that's just me. If you have gotten a note from my assistant with any kind of blow off, you've pung too much.

Now get back to work. And find somebody to ping.

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Indie Film Project

The Two-week Turnaround Tour or T3, is a community filmmaking project. Thousands of amateur and professional filmmakers will come together in over 14 US cities to write, shoot, and screen a short film in just two weeks.

There will be plenty of opportunities for screenwriters and we believe everyone has something to offer in the collaborative art of filmmaking. The tour kicks off March 27, 2009. Get more details HERE.

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The Assistant Files

Industry assistants expect other industry assistants to Get It: speak the lingo; use the shorthand; know the players, the protocol, how to treat each other, and the secret handshake.

It's mostly stuff you pick up in your first two weeks on the job. But every once in a while you run into someone who's either completely oblivious, or who's just a jerk and doesn't believe in the "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" method that most of us live by.

WARNING: ANDY-RANT AHEAD. When you're an assistant to a talent agent, one of the things you do is set up BAZILLIONS of appointments for your clients to be seen by casting directors. You deal with the casting assistant, who may or may not actually be an unpaid intern, depending on how big the production and/or casting person is. Fifteen of our clients had appointments to see one casting director yesterday afternoon. Several different roles on one project and a few clients up for each role, you see. That's a lot of appointments to keep straight. And someone just got fired off another desk for screwing up one client's appointment, so I was taking no chances -- I confirmed the appointments a day early AND the morning of. Not uncommon practice for a good assistant.

And yet yesterday I came back from lunch to hear voice messages from clients saying things like, "Hey Andy-- I'm standing outside the room and there's no one here. Am I in the right place?" You get one message like that, you think, "Okay, smartypants. Did you print out the email I sent you with exact turn-by-turn instructions on where to go, or are you going off 'vibes' again?" You get two messages like that, you think, "Ugh, ACTORS. Do I have to come pick you up and deliver you to the audition myself? Do I look like Elisabeth Shue? Don't f*** with the babysitter!" However, when you get SEVERAL messages like that, you immediately think, "I AM SO FIRED."

But this is all in a day's work for Andy Sachs, Super Assistant, so I spring into action. Call the casting assistant at the number I'd reached him earlier. No answer. Why isn't anyone answering?! I have lines blinking, people. Pick up your phone! Again and again, still no answer. All the while, I'm emailing him, hoping he's in front of his computer and not running around, assisting with the casting session.

Finally I get a ping back. "Oh, sorry! We changed the location." WTF? "We decided we were too diva for that room. Ha ha." HA HA?! This is funny to you? I now look like a jerk in front of no less than FIFTEEN of our clients, their respective managers, my boss, and anyone else who doesn't hear the end of the story where it turns out it's not my mistake and you're just a jerk. THANKS, dude.

Anyway, my point here is that it's never all about you. (Unless you're A-list, then the rules are different. But I don't think there's ever been a casting assistant on the A-list. I could be wrong.) The industry is a collaborative effort. Not just during the development process or once you get into production, but in the course of everyday business. There are a lot of moving parts that keep this town running. We all rely on each other. So don't be a jerk.

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New Media: The Epicenter of Creation

When I was in high school - QUITE awhile ago (shut up, you in the back) - my best friend and I wrote, directed and produced a number of quality films. Yeah. Films. On a Super 8 camera. It was quality fare. It sapped our allowance though. The price of film and development made it out of our reach to make more than a few movies. We had no room for mistakes. Things got tense but we never let it affect the art. But seriously, at that time, to produce entertainment was prohibitive for anyone but the Already Connected and Working. Now anyone can create online entertainment. It's a brave new world. And I love it.

Wednesday I went to the Hollywood Web Television Meet Up, hosted by TubeFilter. I was SO amazed to be around such a wealth of pioneering creativity. I couldn't help but be struck by the fact that this was the epicenter of what's to come in New Media. The guest list was impressive. There were executives from Sony, Warner Brothers, NBC, UTA, Strike TV and Yahoo with titles like Content Aquisitions and Director, Online Development. There were actors, producers, directors and techie geeks, all braving the free bar and massive crowd. Pigeon John provided excellent music.

I met and talked with Tay Zonday and yes, his voice is just like that. And of course, who could miss Ruby Ann Boxcar who was gracious enough to share a peanut butter fudge via the microwave recipe with me.

And of course, our very own Citizen Kate. I don't know why I say our very own except yeah, she's been to my house and we're like, totally like THIS.

Now you might be saying to yourself, yeah but most New Media just isn't that great. You'd be wrong and you're not looking hard enough. If you haven't seen Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, you're missing out. Oh and Easy to Assemble. Of course, Funny Or Die has some great stuff. Drunk History is good stuff but please, click on and revel in Palatial Regalia. Tell me when you stop laughing. I'll wait.

I'm sure you wonder how anyone producing New Media will ever make money. Well, check out this sale to ABC Family. For you too-lazy-to-click-throughers: ABC Family has picked up Take180’s My Alibi for distribution on ABCFamily.com, marking the first major content deal coming out of the community driven web series site.

I have a dear friend who I probably shouldn't name who just shot an online pilot with HUGE comedic promise. Is he going to sell it to a television network? Maybe. More than maybe, quite possible. But I don't think his totally subversive idea could have come up in or flourished within the usual milieu. And in the time it took you to write a feature script, my friend wrote, directed and produced a pilot. Think about that. Cash and carry, baby.

New Media has its detractors and doubters but I'll tell you one thing, being around this huge group of talented story tellers who are breaking all the rules and writing and producing what they want was really thrilling for me. Because it's a new medium that is coming into its own. Because it feels a little like Hollywood in 1925 - things are wide open right now. It's a brave new world.

What does this mean for you? It means the sky's the limit. It means you can write outside the box and outside of the constraints of the entrenched studio system. It means something exciting is happening and you should pay attention. You never know, you might be the next Chocolate Rain guy. Or Ruby Ann Boxcar - mwah - see you at the Streamy after-party!

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Top Three Sailor/Pirate Loglines

Okay Wavers, it's the moment you've been waiting for. I received TONS of loglines. Everything from the ridiculous to the sublime and back again. I received loglines that really, really don't work but that made me laugh very hard. I received loglines that were quite sober and dramatic but not particularly unique. So I came up with these three top nominees based on inventiveness, entertainment factor and well - I just liked these three the best. They stood out from the crowd. There were about three others besides these that I had to carefully consider but at the end of the day, this is what I chose:

Yellow Fever by Audrey McKenzie

When a notorious pirate seeks revenge on the Port of Savannah for the outbreak of yellow fever that decimated his crew, a sailor recuperating from the disease struggles to mount a defense and protect a young woman the frightened townspeople blame for the epidemic.

The Sailor by Michael Perri

After an extraterrestrial war forces a impotent human race to seek refuge in space, a rag tag ship and its crew attempts to evade a Pirate overlord bent on recapturing a stow away simply known as the “Sailor” with the ability to regenerate the human race.

The Entertainer by Elizabeth Ditty

When a Somali pirate with a secret fantasy of becoming an entertainer is sent onto a cruise ship disguised as a sailor, hijinks ensue on the high seas as he attempts to serve two masters: his duty and his dream.

Cast your votes by end of day, Monday February 9th.

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Loglines and Premise Lines

Since the Kill Me With a Spork logline blog entry yesterday engendered a lively discussion I thought I'd do a part two. Now, for my money, the difference between a premise line and a logline is about 100 words. A LOGLINE is that super pithy iteration of the moving bits:

The set up:
character/flaw
situation/location

The complication:
crux of conflict, antagonist

and the BIG CHOICE or twist or sacrifice that makes me want to read your script NOW.

A premise line is the exact same thing only with more detail. The premise line is what you work on before you outline a beat sheet. In fact, if it works for you (and this is actually what I do) you can write a logline and once it really works and you like it, expand that into a premise line, adding more detail. If your premise line is one that anybody else could grasp instantly, you're on the right track. In other words, writing a 500 word premise line that only YOU get is not actually doing yourself a favor. You want clarity.

If you can focus on a premise line - and in reality, instead of someone giving you elements like "sailor" or "pirate" you'd start off with whatever element popped into your head as a story - you can TEST the idea by moving the bits around and changing up the character, the character flaw, the location, the genre, the time period, the antagonist, the m.o. of the antagonist and the big choice or sacrifice in the end. It really is like a flip book or Rubik's Cube. Click, click, click - look for a pleasing pattern. So maybe everything is really working out...except the character's flaw isn't really fueling the conflict in an active way. Or maybe the whole idea needs to be set in 1872. Or 10 years in the future.

While working on a premise line can feel confining - limit yourself to say 100 words - it's actually FREEING in the end. Does that make sense? You force a discipline on your story idea by making sure the moving bits create a compelling pattern (or narrative); and, in doing that, you now open yourself up to fun discoveries like - wow, this is a comedy!

So while you're working on your premise line to test your idea, you both force yourself to recognize and craft a specific, easy to articulate story and therefore define the Big Idea of the whole script AND you leave yourself open to allowing the unexpected in.

I can't say it often enough, the difference between a premise line and a logline is about 100 words (to over-simplify for the purpose of clarity). So once you have a premise line that you like - it really tickles you - it really seems to WORK - then comes the horrible task of showing it to a friend or two and wracking your brain to ensure nobody else has done this exact story or even anything too close for comfort. The least painful way to do this is to simply stare at your premise line and then write down three movies it reminds you of - IN ANY WAY.

Now: when did those movies come out? How did they do? Will your premise be compared to FATAL ATTRACTION? That can be fine if it's in the same vein - just as long as it's not actually the same story. Right? That make sense?

The great thing about working on a premise line is that it's fun, and you won't notice it but you are giving your writer's brain a GREAT workout every time.

If every writer got in the habit of working out a good premise line before writing the script, the number of scripts that just DON'T WORK would be reduced greatly. Think of it as exercise - of course you don't want to work out, you just want to look great at the party tonight, right? Am I right? But what's the reality there, Wavers? Everything that looks great - a person at a party, a sculpture, a garden, a movie - had a foundation of work beforehand. Right? Right.

So do the work ahead of time - and the best part is, we're making stuff up here, people. So while working with a premise line can at times feel frustrating, if you can just remember to be playful as you do it it'll pay off a thousandfold when you write your script: because you created a road map ahead of time, one that works and one that inspires joyfulness in yourself and that will show on the pages. I can't stress that enough; I can ALWAYS, 100% of the time, tell when a writer was having fun when they wrote the script. It leaps off the pages. And it is very powerful.

So much of screenwriting is totally counterintuitive; work HARD but have FUN. Be specific but OPEN YOURSELF UP. Planning carefully lays the foundation for jumping off and discovering something totally new and unexpected.

And don't forget the most powerful word when it comes to thinking about your idea and your character - WHY?

So go forth, be merry, work hard, develop some discipline and make me proud. Consider me your personal trainer. You're gonna look GREAT at the party.

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The Trick With Loglines

By now Wavers know that I have an aversion to over-intellectualizing screenwriting. There are so many books on the topic out there, and so many theories and metaphors (the elixir! the cave! save the cat! mini-movie! the pinch! the plot point! the arc! the flow! the thematic-narrative-thing-with-the thing!) that it can be ultimately overwhelming and confusing.

I did what most people do - learn all that stuff, forget it and just write a lot. And you'll find that what you've learned will then shape itself to what makes sense for YOU. Of course, at least one of you will then write a revolutionary new screenwriting book entitled: Save the Pinch! Because it came to you one night very late that the pinch must be saved and it was such a powerful epiphany of total clarity that you just had to share it with the world.

Let's talk about loglines. Baybee.

Normally loglines would be written AFTER the script is done, right? So a reader reads your script and generates a logline based on what he/she just read. So in our logline competition I asked Wavers to do something slightly counter-intuitive, which is to write a logline as if there were a script already written. Not easy to do, but a very fun exercise. The ability to write a logline based on thin air (or in this case, two words) stimulates your ability to recognize story and character combinations that MIGHT work as a screenplay. Whooo. I said "stimulates."

If you can write a decent logline - even a slightly silly, playful one - based on nothing but a couple of suggested elements, it's like playing with a Rubik's Cube; you learn how to take the given information and click it into a pattern that works. It's WAY good for your writer's brain.

So your logline needs to have:

A setup, a complication and a compelling* choice or sacrifice.

*what is compelling should be compelling to YOU and at least 12 other people.

The setup includes a main character and his or her deal: A pacifist Menonnite. An ambitious journalist. A paranoid PETA scientist.

The complication includes the situation in which the main character then finds him or herself: Is transferred to Dubai where he must manage a strip club. Gets an assignment to cover the World Mud Wrestling Competition. Is kidnapped and forced to concoct a formula that makes turkeys violent killers.

The compelling choice/sacrifice might be something like: But when he falls in love with a Persian stripper on the lam, he must choose between his non-violent ways or the love of his life. But when one wrestler drops out, threatening the worldwide simulcast, he must either get in the ring to save the event or report the sensational flop and win journalism's highest award. But when a turkey that only he can stop attacks the President of the United States, he must choose between his lifelong ethics and the life of the leader of the free world.

Now let's throw in an antagonist: A ruthless sheik. A ruthless newspaper editor. A sociopathic turkey farmer.

Okay so these are all ridiculous examples - but it's like one of those flip books for kids where you turn the page and the chicken has a dinosaur head. And now it has human legs. And so forth. So if you take the ridiculous examples above and put them together:

When a pacifist Menonnite is transferred to Dubai where he manages a strip club, he falls in love with a Persian stripper who just happens to be on the lam from a ruthless sheik who'll stop at nothing to get her back. Now he must choose between his pacifist ways and the love of his life.

So do you see how the italicized bits are the moving parts? Can you see that a "pacifist" might make a good choice of a flaw here? Can you see where that's going to arc this character? Can you see an ethical choice for him? Remain a pacifist or screw that and go get the girl. So this guy's gonna change. But the fun of this is that maybe it would be more interesting if this Mennonite were actually a kick-boxing champ. Maybe it would be more interesting if he fell in love with a ruthless sheik. What if the antagonist were the Persian stripper? See how you can move the parts around? Maybe it's not Dubai, it's Philadelphia. Or Anchorage in 1872. It's almost endless. But the moving bits have to have a fulcrum point - a relationship to one another.

Okay let's take another one:

An ambitious journalist is assigned to cover the World Mud Wrestling Competition but when one wrestler drops out, threatening the world-wide simulcast, he must either defy his boss, a ruthless newspaper editor bent on notoriety and get in the ring to save the event or report the sensational flop and win journalism's most prestigious award.

So again the moving bits have a relationship to one another. The flaw (or as I academically referred to it earlier - the deal) of the main character is going to SUCK in the situation you choose. So an ambitious journalist assigned to cover the inauguration of the new president of Zimbabwe (please, god) isn't really going to be up against much, is he? No, that's a pretty cool assignment. I mean, we could complicate that but let's choose the situation that is going to have the MOST suckage for that character. Ambition. Mud wrestling. Terrific.

And so forth.

What can kill your logline would include, but not not be limited, to:

Too broad a flaw for your main character
Too small, unoriginal and uncompelling a situation
Lack of an antagonist
Lack of some kind of big choice or sacrifice
Generic language; platitudes e.g., "must choose between love and peace."

So this is the kind of thing one might see which signals DO NOT READ THIS SCRIPT:

A college graduate gets the job of his dreams, falls in love and learns that love is more important than ambition.

I kid you not, Wavers, I read scripts in which that an approximate upshot of the script. Where's the freaking antagonist? What's the main character's flaw? What dream job? What ambition? Just kill me with a spork and do it now.

Now get back to work.

"Suckage," "moving bits," "deal" and "kill me with a spork" are all copyrighted and the exclusive intellectual property of The Rouge Wave and will be featured in the upcoming book: Kill Me With a Spork: The Importance of Moving Bits and Deal in a Script Without Suckage. Order early.

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The Telly

Hi Wavers! Lisabeth Laiken here. Since I am writing these posts it should come as no surprise that I like to talk to people about television. Sooner or later in many of these conversations I bring up Battlestar Galactica and quite often the response to that is an adamant or dismissive “I don’t watch sci-fi.” I always find that funny because dollars to donuts, one of the shows that we have already discussed would has been Journeyman, Chuck, Day Break, Lost or Heroes. In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya: “ I do not think it means what you think it does.”

To be fair, science fiction shows run the gamut, and Battlestar Galactica - about a ragtag fleet of spaceships traveling by means of FTL jumps through the galaxy looking for Earth while being chased by human-form robots - is pretty far into the red zone. Being a reboot of what is remembered as a pretty cheesy show doesn’t help. But Ronald D. Moore and co. have spectacularly subverted the original, managing to eerily flip what we remember to its own shadow. This is science fiction as allegory, providing a stark stage on which to play out a civilization’s reaction to crisis and tragedy. Shot in a realistic, hand-held style, it’s a show that makes its characters walk through pitch just waiting for a spark to set them all ablaze. And over the course of the four seasons there have been plenty of sparks.

No show suits everyone, but I highly encourage those of you who haven’t watched Battlestar Galactica to check it out. If you are looking to write for the screen of any size you can learn a lot from this show, and if you are looking to write television, there are opportunities with BSG to get under the hood and see how it all works that I’ve never seen offered before.

If you’re a newbie or had given up on it because it was too dark (and it is dark, really dark, bleak, and cold, like so many of last year's Oscar movies), the first thing to check out is this video, which manages to encapsulate the story of three seasons in eight minutes. It's a great primer on finding the plot points. Also, Salon posted a comprehensive low-down on the whos, whats and whens. After these two you will be ready to watch this season. The latest Season Four episodes are up on the Sci-Fi channel and Hulu; the other seasons are available on DVD.

Now seeing it once is good, but seeing it a second time with commentary track is even better. On these iTunes downloads, Ron Moore talks about how each episode developed and discusses the difference between the original scripts and the shooting scripts - he really gives an inside look into how a show with such a long and complicated arc is accomplished. Look for the other goodies like audio of story meetings and David Eicks videoblog to get some other insider views.

Some other things else to check out from the writers' perspective, are the webisodes. The Resistance, Razor Flashbacks and The Face of the Enemy [Julie:] all show you storytelling in miniature and are a great introduction into this new and upcoming storytelling format.

Ron Moore and the writers give incredibly in-depth interviews with Maureen Ryan at the Chicago Tribune. I’ve never seen a production team talk so openly about their creative process before the show is over. There is even an example of a first draft of a scene with a discussion on why it changed. I am hoping that these keep up through the end of the season (I think they will) as they add so much to my understanding of the show and of the crazy, controlled chaos that is creating long arc television.

So check out Battlestar Galactica (on the Sci-Fi channel 10pm Fridays) before it’s over and dip into the extras. And if you are one of those who say they don’t watch sci-fi, let me know if this has changed your mind, or if at least you find it to be interesting storytelling.

Lisabeth Laiken has been scrutinizing television since they got the breed of dog wrong on Little House on the Prairie. After ending her college years watching movies and television critically in a joint Film Studies and Semiotics program, she went on to use two VCRs to collect and catalog all her favorite shows (over 500 tapes) long before DVR was a glimmer in anyone’s eye.

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100 Most Beautiful Words

Rouge Waver Steve Axelrod sent me this me the other day and since it's a nice, mellow SuperBowl Sunday I thought I'd share. Please note: I didn't bother to correct any lack of punctuation or inconsistent capitalization. What are you - some cranky-ass reader? What - are you gonna PASS on this list? Don't cause an imbroglio or be jejune.

It would warm my cockles and be quite scintillating if Wavers - especially those with Facebook - would adroitly conflate some of these words into conversation this week. It's no panacea but it would be most felicitous. Oh, halcyon days, here we come...

The 100 Most Beautiful words in the English Language

1 adroit Dexterous, agile.
2 adumbrate To very gently suggest.
3 aestivate To summer, to spend the summer.
4 ailurophile A cat-lover.
5 beatific Befitting an angel or saint.
6 beleaguer To exhaust with attacks.
7 blandiloquent Beautiful and flattering.
8 caliginous Dark and misty.
9 champagne An effervescent wine.
10 chatoyant Like a cat’s eye.
11 chiaroscuro The arrangement of dark and light elements in a picture.
12 cockle A heart-shaped bivalve or a garden flower.
13 colporteur A book peddlar.
14 conflate To blend together, to combine different things.
15 cynosure A focal point of admiration.
16 desuetude Disuse.
17 diaphanous Filmy.
18 diffuse Spread out, not focused or concentrated.
19 dulcet Sweet, sugary.
20 ebullient Bubbling with enthusiasm.
21 effervescent Bubbly.
22 efflorescence Flowering, the opening of buds or a bloom.
23 elixir A good potion.
24 emollient A softener.
25 encomium A spoken or written work in praise of someone.
26 ephemeral Short-lived.
27 epicure A person who enjoys fine living, especially food and drink.
28 epiphany A sudden revelation.
29 erstwhile At one time, for a time.
30 eschew To reject or avoid.
31 esculent Edible.
32 esoteric Understood only by a small group of specialists.
33 ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable.
34 etiolate White from no contact with light.
35 evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time.
36 exuberant Enthusiastic, excited.
37 felicitous Pleasing.
38 fescue A variety of grass favored for pastures.
39 foudroyant Dazzling.
40 fragile Very, very delicate.
41 fugacioius Running, escaping.
42 gambol To skip or leap about joyfully.
43 glamour Beauty.
44 gossamer The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk.
45 halcyon Happy, sunny, care-free.
46 hymeneal Having to do with a wedding.
47 imbricate To overlap to form a regular pattern.
48 imbroglio An altercation or complicated situation.
49 imbue To infuse, instill.
50 incipient Beginning, in an early stage.
51 ingenue A naïve young woman.
52 inglenook The place beside the fireplace.
53 inspissate To thicken.
54 inure To jade.
55 jejune Dull; childish.
56 lagniappe A gift given to a customer for their patronage.
57 lagoon A small gulf or inlet in the sea.
58 languor Listlessness, inactivity.
59 lassitude Weariness, listlessness.
60 laughter The response to something funny.
61 lilt To move musically or lively, to have a lively sound.
62 lithe Slender and flexible.
63 loquacious Talkative.
64 luxuriant Thick, lavish.
65 mellifluous Sweet-sounding.
66 missive A message or letter.
67 moiety One of two equal parts, a half.
68 mondegreen A misanalyzed phrase.
69 nebulous Foggy.
70 niveous Snowy, snow-like.
71 obsequious Fawning, subservience.
72 odalisque A concubine in a harem.
73 oeuvre A work.
74 offing That part of the sea between the horizon and the offshore.
75 onomatopoeia The creation of words by imitating sound.
76 paean A formal expression of praise.
77 palimpsest A manuscript written over one or more earlier ones.
78 panacea A complete solution for all problems.
79 panoply A complete set.
80 pastiche A mixture of art work (art or music) from various sources.
81 peccadillo A peculiarity.
82 pelagic Related to the sea or ocean.
83 penumbra A half-shadow, the edge of a shadow.
84 peregrination Wandering, travels.
85 petrichor The smell of earth after a rain.
86 plethora A great excess, overabundance.
87 porcelain A fine white clay pottery.
88 potamophilous Loving rivers.
89 propinquity An inclination or preference.
90 Pyrrhic Victorious despite heavy losses.
91 quintessential The ultimate, the essence of the essence.
92 redolent Sweet-smelling.
93 rhapsody A beautiful musical piece.
94 riparian Having to do with the bank of a river or other body of water.
95 ripple A small, circular wave emanating from a central point.
96 scintillate To sparkle with brilliant light.
97 sempiternal Forever and ever.
98 seraglio Housing for a harem.
99 serendipity Finding something while looking for something else.
100 surreptitious Sneaky.

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How Good Are Free Notes?

An unnamed Waver sent me an email this morning - she was upset. Someone on a message board offered to give her notes, and within the notes, this selfless person rewrote some of the dialogue. The Waver was really upset by this - naturally - and wondered if that's kosher or if maybe she needs thicker skin. Now in the interest of full disclosure, I have read that particular script and while like any script, it has room for improvement, dialogue is not one of those areas. She writes great dialogue and has had a lot of positive things come from that script.

Getting notes for free (or cheap) from message board types can be heaven and it can be hell. Some who offer free notes really are quite good at it - and others - well, they aren't very experienced. This is what bad note givers do (and yes, this has happened to me, a million years ago):

Bad note givers are totally SUBJECTIVE. They give their opinion based on what they like and how they would write this story. But it's not their story. They make overt suggestions ala what THEY would do if the story were theirs. Sometimes they'll change or suggest dialogue to the way they would like to see it written. Cardinal no-no.

Bad note givers have an unearned sense that they KNOW what is good and what is bad. And usually this vibe comes across in the notes. Ergo, bad note givers put the writer on the defensive.

Because some free note giver on a message board offers to give you notes doesn't mean that they'll be bad - or good. The stumbling block is that you'll be on the defensive very quickly because the free note giver has very little experience doing this. So the jumping off point is dysfunctional; they aren't experienced, so they have no authority in your view, and you'll get defensive and they might be too subjective...and the whole experience can be a mess.

Free notes are hit or miss. The problem is that if they are a miss, the writer is left with a feeling of having been judged by someone not qualified to judge them...and even if there were salient points, they will not hear those points. It's like I said about the spoonful of sugar.

Giving good notes is like being a therapist - oh, sure, the therapist sits there in their cashmere scarf sipping tea, all curled up in their chair and they seem very ordinary - they don't discuss your issues with you from a technical standpoint - they get you comfortable but while you're talking, they're running your issues through their Psychology Degree Learning Background and searching for and addressing issues that have distinct jumping off points from an academic point of view. But when they talk to you, they put it in such a way that makes you feel comfortable. Something good is happening in this interaction but it's beneath the surface. If they asked you questions more directly, you'd shut down and now the session is useless. It's about how to get people to open up and hear you.

Free (and bad) note givers don't have enough experience working with writers to use this methodology. They may (or may not) have some good points to make on the script but they don't know how to deliver that information in such a way that the writer feels empowered. And though they'd never admit it in a million years, they get ego-gratification about pointing out what's wrong with your script because somewhere deep inside there's a little voice saying I could do this better than you.

A professional reader doesn't have that voice because they just don't care enough. They don't know you, they have nothing invested in who's a better writer. It's a job. On a message board, there's sometimes a weird, gossipy thing that goes on where someone offers to give you notes, and then they can sort of say on the board, in hushed tones - Oh, I read that script - it really isn't that great. It's one-upmanship. Professional readers aren't into that. They aren't going to go to CURLYGIRL3 and say Hey, did you know that FOXYCHICK isn't a very good writer? Did you know that? She posts so much about her accomplishments but she's really not that great!

A lot of writers can fall into one-upmanship. It happens. A writer is getting traction on a script and suddenly everyone wants to read it. Know why this happens? Not because they are truly curious as to what makes a script gain traction but because they secretly want to say - Oh. It's not really that great. I have NO idea why that script is at William Morris. Hmmph.

That's happened to me recently. The script my partner and I have being packaged at WMA or ICM (whoever bites first; we should know early next week) so it can go to DreamWorks with a producer attached has already engendered several minor acquaintances asking to see it. We've had this script going for awhile now and nobody was interested before. Now they are. Color me cynical (which is not my usual color) but there's a negative subtext there. Now, naturally, when a script is on the launching pad, I would never send it to anyone, especially on the interwebs. If that script got passed around and read and forwarded - it could kill the project. Which would add to the 9,000 other reasons the script could get killed anyway. So why should I risk that right now? But the larger question is - why do people want to read it? To comfort themselves. It's really not THAT great. I could do a better job. Why is THIS script in the position it's in? Because this is bullshit and I could do better. Lovely sentiments, all.

But I've been guilty of it myself - you hear about a script sale and you think - Huh, I read that and I wasn't very impressed. No matter how nice you normally are, a little green devil climbs out of your pocket and begins to whisper in your ear - This isn't fair. I'm a better writer than that person!

But you know what - there's no rhyme or reason to what sells. There really isn't. I'll be the first to say that while I'm proud of our thriller, it's not brilliance. It's just good. It works, it's well written but it's hardly IN BRUGES. I'm realistic about the script, I'm no puffed shirt. It's a good idea, executed well, with a modest budget and some good roles. If that sells, I'll be a happy girl. If it falls flat, I'm no worse for the wear. No existential spirals for me. You just keep doing what you do.

To get back on topic, free notes can be a nice thing to receive but please, please consider the source. And if you OFFER to give free notes, ask yourself this - what is your agenda? Can you set aside your ego and just be honest? Are you really qualified to do this? I mean, sometimes a person will say hey, I just want your knee-jerk opinion. Did you laugh? Did you like it? Well, just about anybody is qualified to do that and that's a nice thing. But do check in with your motivation on giving or receiving free notes. If you are getting the notes, are you secretly looking for praise or respect? If you are giving them are you secretly hoping to establish that YOU are the better writer?

That's why I advocate just paying someone. Look, doesn't have to be MY company which is the best in the business (you knew I was going to say that, I couldn't disappoint!) but if you pay someone, then it's a business transaction and unless you get someone horrible (and there are services to avoid) you should get a straight up evaluation and skip the Ego Rumble.

Signs that your super cool free read was a very bad idea:

You feel defensive and upset.
The notes contain snarky comments and put-downs.
The person who offered is a blowhard on your local message board.
The notes are specific, not global and the reader offered advice that you dislike.
The person uses the word "I" a lot. (I liked this. I didn't like that. I would do this. I wouldn't do that.)
The person actually rewrote or suggested dialogue.
The person made plot suggestions that do not fit and spin the script in a totally new direction.

So (non) buyer beware. Free notes are a blessing and a curse. You need to vet who's offering. And you need to check in with yourself - can you set your ego aside? Can you take what makes sense and dump the rest? Do you respect this person? Do they know a lot about screenwriting or do they just claim to give totally honest feedback? I will be totally honest with you is often a code for: I'll rake you over the coals to make myself feel better. Believe it. I've been on the receiving end of that and I do think that experience in some ways led me to my current philosophy that giving notes must be done in such a way that it is respectful and palatable. Because if I'm going to take the time to read your script I want you to get something out of it. Not me. You.

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