Google Search Heaven

So, you know, I can tell who you are. You know that, right? I can see where you come from when you read The Rouge Wave. Forums (and which thread), whether someone emailed you about TRW, whether you checked in from the US or from Spain. You click on my Facebook a lot. You click on my Twitter. I can see whether your internet carrier is from Fox or Disney or pacbell.net. I can see which other blogs you were reading first. I can see which blogs you read next. I can see that my ex-boyfriend occasionally reads the Rouge Wave. Unless there's somebody else who works at his exact company at that exact location. Hi sucky ex. You know who you are.

I watch with great curiosity how Wavers get here. Or my assistant does and she tells me every day who you are.

The more people Google TRW, the higher page ranking I get. So in the interest of doing some self-SEO-ing here are a tiny fraction of the searches just TODAY that led people to The Rouge Wave. If you're the Gretchen Mol nipple guy let me just say for the love of god why do you search for that so often?! And to that other guy - if you have to ask - probably not.

Burmese movies
Gretchen Mol's nipple
Julie Gray
Do I have talent?
How do I write a movie?
Rogue waves
Sex scenes
Hot sex
Logline how do I
Rouge Wave blog
ROUGE WAVE BLOG
Gretchen Mol's nipple (yeah. we get that a lot)
Juno dialogue sucks
Black List
television staffing
successful web series
write script
Mat Nix
how to write a tv script in 10 minutes

I am not making this stuff up, Wavers. We actually get some pretty awful and disturbing searches as well. Won't print those here. Yeccch.

So there's your Friday entertainment. No get out and do something nice for yourself this weekend. And make mama proud. Do some writing.

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Mentoring, Networking & Paying it Forward

So my friend Marc Zicree kept telling me about this amazing writer/director/producer/(add other hyphenates here) group that has met every single Thursday for 15 years in Toluca Lake. It's an invitation only group that has swelled to 500 members (not all of whom show up to every meeting, otherwise it would be bedlam). So I went last night, brought a friend and was just amazed by the warmth and support in this amazing networking group. My friend had just moved to LA from Kentucky a few months ago and really hasn't found a big group of like-minded creatives to connect with but I think he's found a home now, for sure. The cool thing about this group is that some of its members are Oscar winners and Emmy winners - and we even had a Hugo Award winner there last evening. The majority, of course, are not quite at Oscar/Emmy level, which is nice, otherwise one would be frozen with awe rather than really interacting comfortably.

The best thing about this group is the premise and the intentionality: Marc goes around the room (there were probably 50 people there last evening) and you first talk about what's going on with you and then you ask for what you need. It might be advice, it might be some editing equipment, it might be a new headshot - and then, because the group is so big and so multi-connected, someone offers to help introduce you to someone or otherwise get you what you need. It's networking to the nth degree. And I love that it's invitation only; it ensures that everyone in the group has been vetted by Marc and understands that this is a group interested in really, truly supporting one another.

Last night I came away with a few headshots for my table reads, the business card of an actor who does bookkeeping on the side and an offer to have coffee next week with a comedy writer. The cool thing is I could have asked for just about anything - does someone know where I can get the best deal on snow tires? I'm sure someone would have a friend they could introduce me to. People last night were looking for a variety of things and some people had some really great news about various projects they are working on.

When my friend and I left, he said wow, I had heard that people in LA were so me, me, me but this group really isn't. Very true. It isn't. It's like the It Takes A Village Creative Support Group. Marc is a huge believer in networking and mentoring and he's had a fair measure of success in his own career to prove how helpful that really is. So many of Marc's stories start off with someone making an introduction to someone else who opened a door and then...Marc got what he needed in the end. He's all about paying it forward and all about making a list of the people who are doing what you want to be doing and finding a way to introduce yourself to those people and just by making that personal connection, you are paving the way for a future involvement with them. I can't possibly encapsulate or sum up the way Marc runs his group - or The Table as they call themselves - but I was just blown away by the warmth of this group of people. And it all springs from Marc, who is one of the kindest, most generous people I have ever met.

If you live in the LA area, Marc runs another group called The Super Mentors class and I'm going to be sure my friend signs up for it. Mentoring, networking, paying it forward - it seems old-fashioned, but it's the foundation Hollywood was built on. And it's nice to see it alive and well at a small cafe in Toluca Lake every Thursday night.

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Broad Humor Film Festival

The Fourth Annual Broad Humor Film Festival is accepting screenplay submissions in three length categories: Under 20 pages, 20 to 60 pages, and over 60 pages. Broad Humor celebrates film comedies written and directed by women so screenplays should be submitted by female writers only. Dramedies are accepted as long as the script has lots of laughs or “smile moments” important to the story. Early (postmark) deadline is March 7; late deadline is May 9.

The Broad Humor Film Festival takes place June 12-14, 2009, at the Electric Lodge Performing Arts Center in Venice and includes screenplay readings as well as film screenings.

For more information CLICK HERE

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What Defines "good" Notes?

Morning, Wavers. I was going to write about good loglines today but I'm feeling lazy and busy. Busy and lazy. And overwhelmed. But the show must go on! So for today, here is an excerpt from an upcoming interview of moi in an undisclosed publication that I thought would make a convenient cut-n-paste and an informative, edu-taining read. We'll talk about loglines later. Suffice to say that mama has not been well pleased with the loglines submitted so far. We are missing conflict, we are not being pithy, we are sending stuff missing the key words. But. We shall revisit that anon. For now:

What makes for “good notes” from a reader?

Well, from where I sit, as the employer of many readers and a reader in the past myself, I would say that the notes need to be objective, respectful, instructive and well organized. Good notes from a company such as The Script Department are presented in such a way that the writer not only feels encouraged and validated in those areas that did work, but motivated and instructed about where to do better. I like my clients to come away with a plan of action and the energy and inspiration to attack improving the script, rather than feeling downhearted and directionless.

Bad notes are vague, snarky, verbose, disorganized and ultimately disrespectful of the writer. A good reader HAS to respect what the writer was trying to do. Nobody sets out to write a bad script. Nobody. Doesn't happen.

Now: there’s a very important distinction to be made here. Readers who work for production companies provide coverage that the writer will never see. The report is not for the writer, it is for the production company. So these notes will be quite a bit harsher and pretty unforgiving. Well, totally unforgiving. Readers who provide notes for a company such as mine are working for the writer. And the writer is going to see those notes and use them as a guide for improvement. That’s quite a different kettle of fish. Coverage versus Notes: Coverage is a brutal assessment. Notes are an instructive assessment.

When it comes to readers who work for The Script Department, I have one, overarching philosophy that my readers are aware of: I don’t care where a writer is on the curve, they worked hard on the script and deserve to be treated with respect because anyone who creates something where there was nothing and then asks for feedback is pretty okay in my book.

Readers who come to my company after having read for a production company have to take a moment to adjust to a new atmosphere; kind honesty and shrewd observations instead of brutal honesty and shrewd observations. Having made the transition myself, I know it is quite an adjustment. Believe me, it's much, much easier to do notes for a production company. You just crank them out and the writer's feelings are inconsequential. To produce notes that instruct and motivate takes more thought and time.

Good notes that YOU the writer will actually see and read should leave you feeling inspired to do better, not crying in your soup. Even when we have to give you bad news, it should be given in such a way that you want to rise to a challenge, not jump off a bridge. What I try to do is to provide notes to my clients that will result in a great coverage from a production company down the line. So we're honest, alright, but we want the result to be a better script. And you know what I always say -a spoonful of sugar and all that. Beating a writer up never encourages anything positive.

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Logline Competition

Okay Wavers - this is gonna be a whole lotta fun. Lotta, lotta fun. We're going to try something really different. Let's see who can write the most compelling, original, pithy logline that you could actually pitch in a room. A logline with a clear genre indicated, with conflict, cinematic potential and a unique main character . All in 50 words or less. Sounds impossible, right? Well, no it's not. So let's give it a shot!


Guidelines:
Any genre
50 words max (strictly enforced)
Must include the following: A sailor and a pirate. Doesn't matter which is the antagonist or protagonist. Just use a sailor and a pirate.

Deadline:
Wednesday, February 4th, 11:59pm Pacific Time
Submit HERE

Prize:
$25 gift certificate to the online vendor of your choice.

Fees:
Heh. That would be hilarious.

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The Power of Writing it Down

We all know the importance of having goals in life. It motivates us, it gives us direction and fuels our efforts. It gives us milestones when the path is dark and bumpy. I've talked a lot about goals in the past couple of months - the new year is a great (if false) marker and measure for looking forward and backward at the same time.

You know that annoying question that is sometimes asked at job interviews - where do you see yourself in five years? Well - where DO you see yourself in five years? In your professional and your personal life? It's actually a pretty helpful question to answer.

So here's some really fun, uplifting homework for Wavers today: Write a free-flowing paragraph or two about where you see yourself in five years. Write it only in the positive - as if you HAVE achieved your goals - personal and professional. Write it with feeling - how great it feels to have achieved what you have achieved. How hopeful you are about even more achievement and success. Where are you living? What kind of house? What is your relationship status? How's your health? What have you written? Has it been sold or published? What's your peer group like? How's your family? Don't think - just write. This will become your personal mission statement. Keep it somewhere safe and reread it from time to time.

Now: there's one caveat. You have to believe that your goals are achievable. So if you write down: I have sold nine scripts, won three Academy Awards and live in the Taj Mahal where dancing girls wearing nothing but coconuts entertain me - you're defeating the purpose of this exercise. Unless you really, truly, madly, deeply believe that is in fact in your future. In which case, I have a great psychiatrist I can turn you on to. You can make anything happen if you honestly believe, down deep, that it is possible. So write down goals that you KNOW you COULD possibly achieve and then watch them begin to show up for you. Oh and you have to do the work. There's that.

Just the act of articulating and writing down your goals is a powerful way to set them into motion. Go ahead - give it a try. I did it the other day and I feel like one meeellion dollars!

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If I Knew Then....

Gary Goldstein, the erudite and inspired producer of PRETTY WOMAN, is working on a set of audio books for screenwriters. I am honored to have been one of the professionals he has chosen to interview with my consulting as a jumping off point for my particular input. The title of my section is: If I Knew Then What I Know Now - and it's aptly titled. I was going to pull some of the questions from that section for today's blog but I think I'll leave that for the actual interview this Friday. But it inspired me to share with you today what my biggest What I Know Now lesson was. Well, it's not really one lesson, it's a bunch of lessons and if I had to be pithy and use one word to describe that group of lessons I would say it's: PATIENCE.

There is an urban myth among screenwriters - particularly newer ones, that goes like this:

I will write a script, I will query with that script, I will get repped, the manager will sell the script and I will put hundreds of thousands of dollars in my bank account and I will buy an island somewhere, equipped with a Blu-Ray, a private jet and dancing girls with coconuts. I will be interviewed, I will go to the premiere of my movie, I will be employed thereafter as a working (and somewhat vaunted) screenwriter. I practice my interviews in the shower now. I'm a genius! Why didn't I think of this like 10 years ago when I had that crappy job! Screenwriting is GREAT!

I thought all that stuff would be true too. I really did. You know, probably without dancing girls, more like I don't know, Viggo Mortensen would be my best friend and I would order trays of crudites from my chaise lounge by my pool, but of course, what a bitter lesson it was so learn the truth. My truth went something like this:

I will write a script and I will query and get no bites except from that one guy in Florida. I will feel excited but vaguely uneasy. Nothing will happen with that script. But hey, I must be pretty good! I will write another script and the same thing will happen except I get absolutely no replies to any of my queries. I will read about other people selling specs and buying islands and feel embittered or maybe impassioned and I will be tempted to quit in a huff but I don't. I keep trying. I will feel like I don't possibly have time to write when I have my job and my family and the stress of life. But I'll keep writing anyway. I will buy numerous screenwriting books and read them all and know that this next script is finally gonna be the ticket. It won't be. I will enter a competition nobody's heard of and place. I know it doesn't matter in the big picture but it feels great. So I keep writing. I finally query a manager who asks to read the script. He passes. I am bummed but at least something happened. Another manager, another read and a meeting this time! A real meeting! Would I like a water? Why, yes I would! Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

I fast forward, six or eight scripts in and I get a manager! A real one! From LA! One with a reputation! I am very excited, I made it over the moat! I'm in, guys! They like me, they really like me! The script "went out" and got some "fans" but no sale. Whiskey tango foxtrot! I'm somewhere between disappointed, bitter and a little wiser. Ahhhh, expectations, they must be managed. I tell myself this is normal. And as I look around at others in my position, I see that it is. AHA - this is the journey! I keep writing.

Every script I write gets better than the last. I look at the first script I ever wrote and I cringe. I can't believe I thought that would get me repped. I take classes. I live my life. I go to screenwriting events. I make lots of friends who are writers. I keep writing. I grow more circumspect. I stop focusing on getting repped and sold and I start focusing on writing a great script. And now I am finally at the place where something might - might - happen for me. And I keep writing. And I get repped yet again. And I get real meetings. Then nothing happens. But I'm not that upset by this - I take this as a challenge and I keep writing. And I write a script with a partner that gets me high level studio meetings and I'm picturing my island and nothing happens. I keep networking and I keep writing and I gain a reputation as a good writer who is "good in a room." One of my scripts gets a very successful producer attached. He takes the script to DreamWorks. And I wait. And I hope. But I know I won't be crushed if it doesn't happen because I've been down this road and I've grown as a writer and I know that this is a solid script and that I've got more like that in me.

I'm no longer picturing a private island but rather a decent paycheck and an open door for more meetings. I've come to relax into the journey. And I look back at the ridiculously high expectations of my earlier days and I wince - but I realize that this is the journey of a writer. It's like having a child - you can't know how hard it is or you'd never do it. You have to start out with high expectations and ideals. You can't know how circuitous this journey is going to be, or how long.

And that is the wisdom I have to pass along to you on this fine Monday, Wavers. I can't tell you to manage your expectations - you still think the journey I have been on will not apply to you. Oh, you won't admit it, of course. But deep in your heart, you think your path will be much, much shorter. That's okay. I felt the same way. You can't go around it, you have to go through it. Your path will be unique but it will have similar signposts. You might have three ineffective managers. You might have five. You might grab the brass ring on script number four and manager number two. But you can't know that - all you can do is hang onto that determination and not be swayed. As long as you keep writing and keep improving (that's key) your path will continue to unfold before you. Just keep swimming, as the Ellen DeGeneres fish said in NEMO. You know, whatever her name was. Just keep swimming. And now that tune is stuck in your head. You're welcome.

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The Boob Tube

On Tuesday I saw change come to America, twice.

First and foremost, as I stood on the Mall in Washington, one of millions in a crowd that truly encompassed the great variety of Americans. The prevailing feeling was a happy anticipation of the needed and past due end of one presidency and the amazing ascendancy of another. The peaceful transition of power, now — after everything, in the midst of all this — it’s amazing...and beyond that, for it to be such an important first. I saw it on the faces of everyone I passed: people who traveled to Washington knowing that they would not be within eyesight of the action but nonetheless, needing to be there.

Witnessing this historic inauguration was a profound experience. Standing with my friends, about halfway down the mall, in easy camaraderie with the people surrounding us, it was a type of technologically assisted witnessing that has become normal. It was all directly ahead of us, but we looked to the Jumbotrons and followed the action through that edited feed. There were four screens between me and the Capitol - I could see the images repeated and reduced until the eye was drawn back to where history was happening. That has become commonplace, but over the shoulder of a neighbor in the crowd I watched the CNN footage of what I had just experienced myself: the crowds emerging from the Metro, massive but orderly, the filling up of the Mall and also the events unfolding inside the Capitol. A live experience added to and mediated by having the televised experience in your hand.

And then when it was all over, we returned to my friends’ apartment. After an intense nine hours, of course what we wanted to do was to watch more! To check out the parade and catch up on the coverage of the event itself. After peeling off our layers we collapsed on the sofa — and our host turned on his computer. He doesn’t have cable. He doesn’t even have a TV antenna. All his viewing comes over the internet. And generally, he says, that works fine. He’s an avid follower of a few shows and an extremely well informed person but he doesn’t care if he catches things as soon as they are on or a day later, so he sees no reason to have cable. He has no plans at all to get it ever again. For the entertainment industry this is a game-changer.

I know this might sound like a sublime to ridiculous juxtaposition, but bear with me a moment. The trend to do without cable has already started for college students - they go on to not pick it up when leaving school for their first apartments. But my friend is not in the 18-34 bracket, just someone at ease with computers.

Setting something up so it works and having it able to do what you want is not necessarily the same thing. It is still the early days of internet access to what has always been the purview of cable and network channels, but content is out there, if you can find it.

If Tuesday was a good example, web TV is a scattershot world. Mostly we searched and surfed, without finding what we wanted. Googling by topic doesn’t work very well. It was great to go to YouTube and watch the videos that people had already uploaded to the site about their experiences that day, but that’s not the same as real news coverage. On sites like CNN, ABC or Comedy Central it was not always easy to find if they had live or earlier event coverage streaming. And using the mouse and keyboard, even wireless, was continually awkward, especially when it was sharing the coffee table with snacks.

Some of you might have already given up your cable box and are, like my friend, doing the solely web TV thing. I’d love to hear how it is working for you but this experience didn’t convince me. If I had been home I would have taken full advantage of the two tuners in my box and the Picture in Picture capabilities of my television to keep one channel up and wander around to see what else is being reported, then switch when I found something of interest. On my high-def screen I would have seen the details, the resolve on President Obama's face during the speech or the tears in spectators' eyes. It would have been as real as being there in some ways. The full screen streaming was not even as sharp as regular television and some of those parade costumes deserved to be seen in detail.

My friend was OK with it, despite the shortcomings. He thinks it will only keep getting better. And I think he is right; eventually it will. Both in how you find the content and the quality. It already has for non-live events - look at Hulu. Sooner or later they will find a way to normalize and monetize video on the Internet. The question is how long will that take? Change is happening, but right now, with a struggling economy and an unsure industry, what will the effect be to the production of content if more people make the decision my friend made and don’t subscribe to cable?

***
Tips from TV Land on catching your favorite shows.


Our TV correspondent Lisabeth Laiken has been scrutinizing television since they got the breed of dog wrong on Little House on the Prairie. After ending her college years watching movies and television critically in a joint Film Studies and Semiotics program, she went on to use two VCRs to collect and catalog all her favorite shows (over 500 tapes) long before DVR was a glimmer in anyone’s eye.

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Dear Academy Awards

Dear Academy Award Producers:

I'm asking really, really nicely here if you can please produce a ceremony that brings the Oscars out of the doldrums and back into relevance. You know what I mean. Ratings have dropped for many successive years. But I am your one true fan. I watch every year. And every year I hope for a monumental gaffe, streaker or Native American to collect a statue by proxy. But no. Every year I wind up with leftover warm beer, pretzel and potato chip crumbs all over the couch and a vague sense of having just lost three hours of my life. And zomg, not in a good way, like when I play online Scrabble. See, wasting time is a national pastime. So in a way, you've come full circle back into relevance.

Remember when Bette Davis won a lifetime achievement award? That was good TV. Why not serve booze to attendees right where they sit? Like in little commemorative flasks? Grease the wheels a little. I'm just sayin'.

We want numbers on this show, guys. Spice it up. Seat actors with long-running grudges next to each other. Get an animal act. Maybe an angry, drunk monkey. Seat Uma and Oprah right next to each other - see, no brainer. I am available for consultations, btw. That's short for "by the way" - you guys are a little behind the times, imo. LOL. This is the Facebook/Funny or Die Generation, guys. KK?

Why does Jack Nicholson always sit front and center? Can you mix that up a little? I mean, seriously, what goes on there?

Why didn't Revolutionary Road get more and more significant nominations?

Why did you choose Hugh Jackman to host? Sure, he's easy on the eyes, but seriously, I think we all have major qualms on this pick. Are Jon Stewart or Chris Rock just too "edgy?" I get your decision not to use Letterman - dear god - but Jackman? Isn't he irritated or embarrassed that Australia didn't get one nod? You better watch him carefully. He could do anything up there. I'm just pointing out the obvious. You're welcome.

I have included my return address so you can answer my questions. Much appreciated. Oh and p.s. - if you have an extra tickets, please mail them to me in the enclosed SASE. Thnx.

***
The complete list of nominations

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The Assistant Files

In the last Assistant File we talked about interpreting the code phrases used in industry assistant-wanted ads. In this one I'm going to give you some tips on acing the interview process.

You see, I - like many assistants who've worked in the industry for any length of time - have functioned as a one-Andy HR department, and have hired my own replacement, simply presenting two final pre-approved options for The Boss to choose between.

(Or, to be honest, to fuss and moan about, because most bosses, even though they are theoretically aware that you are not going to stick around and answer their phone for years and years, simply cannot believe that you are leaving them. Some of them actually use phrases along the lines of "I can't believe that you're leaving me!" or "I thought better of you, I really did!" or "A good assistant would never have done this.")

All this boils down to the fact that many long-time assistants have done a lot more interviewing than you might expect from people who are glorified helper monkeys. And here, for what it's worth, are my takeaways:

*DO have an email address that is some version of firstname.lastname@gmail.com. Do NOT have an email address like NUMBER1PHIL@AOL.COM or AWESOMEASSISTANT4U@HOTMAIL.COM or SEXXYSEXXYSUE@YMAIL.COM.

*DO have your contact info immediately accessible in your cover letter. Do NOT include email addresses that will bounce back or phone numbers of cell phones that are disconnected for lack of payment. When I call to chat with you about your resume, if this isn't a good time, say so. I'm going to be asking you probing questions about past insane jobs you've had, so if you're at work and can't talk, don't be stilted and weird, ask if you can call me back over lunch.

*DO dress up a little bit. If you're a boy, nobody is going to make fun of you for wearing a suit and tie. If you're a girl, wear something your conservative aunt would approve of. No open toes, no cleavage. This isn't a date. Do NOT wear jeans. Come on. Entertainment is mostly a pretty casual environment (barring agencies. Agencies are like Mad Men.) but the understanding for job interviews is that you show up at your most formal, not like you just got back from Senor Frog's.

*DO explain in your cover letter why you want this particular job, particularly if you're trying to break in. Do NOT say stuff like "I'm just trying to get my first job in entertainment. I'll take anything. But I'm really looking to jump ship to talent management." Industry jobs get insane numbers of resumes, so if your background isn't something I can grasp at a glance - say, if your work experience is all in real estate and you're applying to be a development assistant - you can't expect that you're going to get a call unless you have a terrific pitch for why I ought to consider you over the dozens of people with exact-match backgrounds.

*DO lie. (A little.) Tell me you're detail-oriented, terrific with difficult people, organized like a mofo, willing to go the extra mile, work-obsessed, happy to commit for two years: As an assistant, I know full well that those little white lies really boil down to "I will work hard and give this a for-real shot." Which is really all one can expect. Do NOT lie in real ways that I can spot. Like if you say that you work at Company X but really you got fired from that desk six months ago and I know people there. And do NOT be too honest. Don't say things like "How much overtime can I count on, moneywise?" or "I take a tango class on Tuesdays so I'd need to leave early every week, I hope that's not a problem," in the actual interview. This is Hollywood. Everyone's pretending they don't need the money and love the job so much they'd work for free.

*DO, if it's relevant to the position (the ad said something about "personalities" or "thick skin," or the outgoing assistant uses code phrases like "Boss expects excellence") mention any past work experience with a "demanding" boss. Do NOT badmouth said boss. There's a fine line between letting me know that you worked for a crazy bitch and handled it fine because you're a rock star, and actually calling your old boss a crazy bitch.

*DO be polite and attentive during the interview. I know a monkey could do this job, you know a monkey could do this job. You still need to pretend to be thoughtful and impressed when I'm telling you about the long hours and the stress and the lack of getting to go to the bathroom. I just want you to know what you're getting into so I don't foist a lemon off on Boss. Do NOT blow past me with stories about how you had a sooooo much more stressful job than this. That's not going to impress me, it's going to make me think that you're a jerk.

*DO follow up after the interview. A thank-you note or email is not just polite, it helps me remember who you were. And feel free to call or email about a week later if you haven't heard back. Do NOT call me twice a day, every day, because you thought you were such a terrific fit. I know I said that interviewing isn't like dating...but really, it is. If I want to see you again, I'll call you. In the meantime, be cool. You don't need the money, remember?

If you follow the above tips, you may not get the job - this is after all a ridiculously competitive industry - but you at least stand a shot of being taken seriously and having your resume go in the keeper file, instead of having me make fun of you in an Assistant File later.

xxo,

Andy Sachs

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Writing a Logline Sucks

Yeah, you read that right. Writing a logline sucks. But like organizing your receipts for taxes, cleaning up what the dog harked up and visiting your mother-in-law, it's a necessary evil.

First of all, there really has been a bit of a blur between the definitions of a premise line and a logline. I tend to go with the distinction that a logline is what describes your script within the industry. Meaning, a reader will write a logline of your script. Executives will ask what it is. Loglines might appear in brief descriptions of scripts online, in competitions or in the trades. It's brief, it's not particularly sexy, but it sums up the script. A premise line is a bit longer and this is a tool for you, the writer, as you are working on your script. A logline should be one or two brief sentences. A premise line can be three or four sentences. The premise line is what you the writer use as you are fleshing out your story - it might change 13 times. The logline is the end result to describe the script that is already written. Let's keep this particular conversation focused on loglines rather than premise lines - a summing up of your script AFTER it's written.

Now. We all know that summing up our scripts in two or three sentences is a horrible thing to have to do. I can't leave out the part about the crazy janitor! Oh, oh and the thing - that sequence, with the big chase scene? Or how Teo tells Liz he loves her in the coffee shop? No, no and no.

When you are a production company reader you have to generate loglines quickly, easily and often. And of course, with practice, you get pretty darn good at it. One of the key ingredients to getting to do it quickly and easily is of course repetition. Readers also don't care that much how poetic the logline is: A group of teenaged werewolves terrorize a Nova Scotia village until a legendary polar bear drives them off. Done. I'm just writing a very quick upshot.

Wait, wait, back up - didn't I just say that loglines are what readers generate? So let them do it, loglines are for suckers! Oh how nice it would be if that were true.

The ability to rattle off a quick logline as an entree to discussing your script is a great thing to be able to do on every level. You might be at a party. You might meet someone who can help you. But more importantly - perhaps most importantly - being able to state a logline for what you've written (or are continuing to work on) helps you gain clarity as a writer.

But gaining this type of overview clarity is hard and it takes practice. It's like playing Scrabble, doing a Rubik's Cube, doing a crossword puzzle and juggling all at the same time. See, we writers have weird brains. Can anyone really dispute that? We think in concentric circles. We think in details. We think in moments and bits of dialogue and the fact that this scene takes place at the dawn. With a soft rain falling. But we have to ask ourselves to shift gears into the macro. Because nobody likes to talk to a writer who lacks the ability to FREAKING UPSHOT THE SCRIPT.

Nothing glazes eyes over faster than hearing this from a writer, after having asked what their script is about: Well, okay. It's about this guy. Wait - no, a guy and his wife, right? And they're bank robbers. So they rob this bank and - wait - no, back up, okay they live in Nebraska and have two kids but then he gets laid off so they - wait - okay so they got married really young, right? And... So here's what's happening in my head as you are now what I consider babbling: I am eyeing the bar behind you. Should I get a mojito? I am looking for any escape route. Oh LOOK - canapes! I'll do anything to get out of this long, boring, circuitous conversation. That's not exactly the effect you were going for, as the writer.

Aside from boring the hell out of potential contacts, a writer who cannot rattle off a quick logline to describe their script is in trouble. Because if you can't sum up your script quickly, it's likely the case that the script is not in terrific shape. The higher the concept of your script, the more exact the execution, the more intimate you the writer are with the narrative and character arcs - the easier it is to summarize quite briefly.

It could be that you need to practice. Go ahead - rattle off your logline. Can you do it in two sentences? Remember - I'm only talking about the macro overview. It is useful to practice rattling off a logline before, during and after writing your script. It keeps you centered. It's your compass rose.

Again - crucial distinction here - I am NOT talking about a premise line (which we shall revisit later this week), we are talking about a logline - so I'm not super concerned with the old rules of having to mention the antagonist, main character flaw, etc. If you CAN get across the genre, the main character's flaw and the antagonist all within that one sentence, Willy Wonka and a chocolate river to you - that's GREAT. But don't be super concerned about that right now.

For this initial exercise, I'm asking Wavers to push the pause button today and jot down a simple logline. If you can't do it - try again. And again. And then if you still can't sum up your script that quickly, you may need to diagnose just why that is. Do you have a BOSH script? (bunch of stuff happens). Generating a logline is like a doctor being able to give you the quick upshot: You have the measles. Great - I can work with that.

Naturally, if the spine of your story is simpler, it will be easier to sum up. But in any event, you should still be able to give me the freaking upshot already: A bank robbing couple from Nebraska go on a spree and become folk heroes. Okay, I can grok that pretty quickly. That's all I wanted, a quick thumbnail so I can tell my boss that this script might be something we should read for our production company.

Now I know what you're thinking and I know this because pretty much all writers try this excuse at one time or another: But my script isn't so simple! It's complex and full of nuance and detail and MY script is far, far above simplistic pablum and defies a brief overview! You know what, I have bad news for you - these are bullshits. Your script might be complex, it might be full of detail but somewhere in there, you DO have a spine of your story. And you need to be able to pull that out, hang it up in front of the class and point to it. Basically this is the story of...what?

Learning how to summarize your script in one or two brief sentences can feel like torture. But it's good for you - trust me. Take a minute today and write a logline for your script. I know you're going to hate it, that's a given - but can you do it? Practice makes perfect. Generate loglines for movies you see or scripts you read. Generate loglines for ideas you have. Generate loglines for old scripts you've written. Keep at it and soon you'll find that your logline muscles will grow.

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