How Good Are Free Notes?

An unnamed Waver sent me an email this morning - she was upset. Someone on a message board offered to give her notes, and within the notes, this selfless person rewrote some of the dialogue. The Waver was really upset by this - naturally - and wondered if that's kosher or if maybe she needs thicker skin. Now in the interest of full disclosure, I have read that particular script and while like any script, it has room for improvement, dialogue is not one of those areas. She writes great dialogue and has had a lot of positive things come from that script.

Getting notes for free (or cheap) from message board types can be heaven and it can be hell. Some who offer free notes really are quite good at it - and others - well, they aren't very experienced. This is what bad note givers do (and yes, this has happened to me, a million years ago):

Bad note givers are totally SUBJECTIVE. They give their opinion based on what they like and how they would write this story. But it's not their story. They make overt suggestions ala what THEY would do if the story were theirs. Sometimes they'll change or suggest dialogue to the way they would like to see it written. Cardinal no-no.

Bad note givers have an unearned sense that they KNOW what is good and what is bad. And usually this vibe comes across in the notes. Ergo, bad note givers put the writer on the defensive.

Because some free note giver on a message board offers to give you notes doesn't mean that they'll be bad - or good. The stumbling block is that you'll be on the defensive very quickly because the free note giver has very little experience doing this. So the jumping off point is dysfunctional; they aren't experienced, so they have no authority in your view, and you'll get defensive and they might be too subjective...and the whole experience can be a mess.

Free notes are hit or miss. The problem is that if they are a miss, the writer is left with a feeling of having been judged by someone not qualified to judge them...and even if there were salient points, they will not hear those points. It's like I said about the spoonful of sugar.

Giving good notes is like being a therapist - oh, sure, the therapist sits there in their cashmere scarf sipping tea, all curled up in their chair and they seem very ordinary - they don't discuss your issues with you from a technical standpoint - they get you comfortable but while you're talking, they're running your issues through their Psychology Degree Learning Background and searching for and addressing issues that have distinct jumping off points from an academic point of view. But when they talk to you, they put it in such a way that makes you feel comfortable. Something good is happening in this interaction but it's beneath the surface. If they asked you questions more directly, you'd shut down and now the session is useless. It's about how to get people to open up and hear you.

Free (and bad) note givers don't have enough experience working with writers to use this methodology. They may (or may not) have some good points to make on the script but they don't know how to deliver that information in such a way that the writer feels empowered. And though they'd never admit it in a million years, they get ego-gratification about pointing out what's wrong with your script because somewhere deep inside there's a little voice saying I could do this better than you.

A professional reader doesn't have that voice because they just don't care enough. They don't know you, they have nothing invested in who's a better writer. It's a job. On a message board, there's sometimes a weird, gossipy thing that goes on where someone offers to give you notes, and then they can sort of say on the board, in hushed tones - Oh, I read that script - it really isn't that great. It's one-upmanship. Professional readers aren't into that. They aren't going to go to CURLYGIRL3 and say Hey, did you know that FOXYCHICK isn't a very good writer? Did you know that? She posts so much about her accomplishments but she's really not that great!

A lot of writers can fall into one-upmanship. It happens. A writer is getting traction on a script and suddenly everyone wants to read it. Know why this happens? Not because they are truly curious as to what makes a script gain traction but because they secretly want to say - Oh. It's not really that great. I have NO idea why that script is at William Morris. Hmmph.

That's happened to me recently. The script my partner and I have being packaged at WMA or ICM (whoever bites first; we should know early next week) so it can go to DreamWorks with a producer attached has already engendered several minor acquaintances asking to see it. We've had this script going for awhile now and nobody was interested before. Now they are. Color me cynical (which is not my usual color) but there's a negative subtext there. Now, naturally, when a script is on the launching pad, I would never send it to anyone, especially on the interwebs. If that script got passed around and read and forwarded - it could kill the project. Which would add to the 9,000 other reasons the script could get killed anyway. So why should I risk that right now? But the larger question is - why do people want to read it? To comfort themselves. It's really not THAT great. I could do a better job. Why is THIS script in the position it's in? Because this is bullshit and I could do better. Lovely sentiments, all.

But I've been guilty of it myself - you hear about a script sale and you think - Huh, I read that and I wasn't very impressed. No matter how nice you normally are, a little green devil climbs out of your pocket and begins to whisper in your ear - This isn't fair. I'm a better writer than that person!

But you know what - there's no rhyme or reason to what sells. There really isn't. I'll be the first to say that while I'm proud of our thriller, it's not brilliance. It's just good. It works, it's well written but it's hardly IN BRUGES. I'm realistic about the script, I'm no puffed shirt. It's a good idea, executed well, with a modest budget and some good roles. If that sells, I'll be a happy girl. If it falls flat, I'm no worse for the wear. No existential spirals for me. You just keep doing what you do.

To get back on topic, free notes can be a nice thing to receive but please, please consider the source. And if you OFFER to give free notes, ask yourself this - what is your agenda? Can you set aside your ego and just be honest? Are you really qualified to do this? I mean, sometimes a person will say hey, I just want your knee-jerk opinion. Did you laugh? Did you like it? Well, just about anybody is qualified to do that and that's a nice thing. But do check in with your motivation on giving or receiving free notes. If you are getting the notes, are you secretly looking for praise or respect? If you are giving them are you secretly hoping to establish that YOU are the better writer?

That's why I advocate just paying someone. Look, doesn't have to be MY company which is the best in the business (you knew I was going to say that, I couldn't disappoint!) but if you pay someone, then it's a business transaction and unless you get someone horrible (and there are services to avoid) you should get a straight up evaluation and skip the Ego Rumble.

Signs that your super cool free read was a very bad idea:

You feel defensive and upset.
The notes contain snarky comments and put-downs.
The person who offered is a blowhard on your local message board.
The notes are specific, not global and the reader offered advice that you dislike.
The person uses the word "I" a lot. (I liked this. I didn't like that. I would do this. I wouldn't do that.)
The person actually rewrote or suggested dialogue.
The person made plot suggestions that do not fit and spin the script in a totally new direction.

So (non) buyer beware. Free notes are a blessing and a curse. You need to vet who's offering. And you need to check in with yourself - can you set your ego aside? Can you take what makes sense and dump the rest? Do you respect this person? Do they know a lot about screenwriting or do they just claim to give totally honest feedback? I will be totally honest with you is often a code for: I'll rake you over the coals to make myself feel better. Believe it. I've been on the receiving end of that and I do think that experience in some ways led me to my current philosophy that giving notes must be done in such a way that it is respectful and palatable. Because if I'm going to take the time to read your script I want you to get something out of it. Not me. You.

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Google Search Heaven

So, you know, I can tell who you are. You know that, right? I can see where you come from when you read The Rouge Wave. Forums (and which thread), whether someone emailed you about TRW, whether you checked in from the US or from Spain. You click on my Facebook a lot. You click on my Twitter. I can see whether your internet carrier is from Fox or Disney or pacbell.net. I can see which other blogs you were reading first. I can see which blogs you read next. I can see that my ex-boyfriend occasionally reads the Rouge Wave. Unless there's somebody else who works at his exact company at that exact location. Hi sucky ex. You know who you are.

I watch with great curiosity how Wavers get here. Or my assistant does and she tells me every day who you are.

The more people Google TRW, the higher page ranking I get. So in the interest of doing some self-SEO-ing here are a tiny fraction of the searches just TODAY that led people to The Rouge Wave. If you're the Gretchen Mol nipple guy let me just say for the love of god why do you search for that so often?! And to that other guy - if you have to ask - probably not.

Burmese movies
Gretchen Mol's nipple
Julie Gray
Do I have talent?
How do I write a movie?
Rogue waves
Sex scenes
Hot sex
Logline how do I
Rouge Wave blog
ROUGE WAVE BLOG
Gretchen Mol's nipple (yeah. we get that a lot)
Juno dialogue sucks
Black List
television staffing
successful web series
write script
Mat Nix
how to write a tv script in 10 minutes

I am not making this stuff up, Wavers. We actually get some pretty awful and disturbing searches as well. Won't print those here. Yeccch.

So there's your Friday entertainment. No get out and do something nice for yourself this weekend. And make mama proud. Do some writing.

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Mentoring, Networking & Paying it Forward

So my friend Marc Zicree kept telling me about this amazing writer/director/producer/(add other hyphenates here) group that has met every single Thursday for 15 years in Toluca Lake. It's an invitation only group that has swelled to 500 members (not all of whom show up to every meeting, otherwise it would be bedlam). So I went last night, brought a friend and was just amazed by the warmth and support in this amazing networking group. My friend had just moved to LA from Kentucky a few months ago and really hasn't found a big group of like-minded creatives to connect with but I think he's found a home now, for sure. The cool thing about this group is that some of its members are Oscar winners and Emmy winners - and we even had a Hugo Award winner there last evening. The majority, of course, are not quite at Oscar/Emmy level, which is nice, otherwise one would be frozen with awe rather than really interacting comfortably.

The best thing about this group is the premise and the intentionality: Marc goes around the room (there were probably 50 people there last evening) and you first talk about what's going on with you and then you ask for what you need. It might be advice, it might be some editing equipment, it might be a new headshot - and then, because the group is so big and so multi-connected, someone offers to help introduce you to someone or otherwise get you what you need. It's networking to the nth degree. And I love that it's invitation only; it ensures that everyone in the group has been vetted by Marc and understands that this is a group interested in really, truly supporting one another.

Last night I came away with a few headshots for my table reads, the business card of an actor who does bookkeeping on the side and an offer to have coffee next week with a comedy writer. The cool thing is I could have asked for just about anything - does someone know where I can get the best deal on snow tires? I'm sure someone would have a friend they could introduce me to. People last night were looking for a variety of things and some people had some really great news about various projects they are working on.

When my friend and I left, he said wow, I had heard that people in LA were so me, me, me but this group really isn't. Very true. It isn't. It's like the It Takes A Village Creative Support Group. Marc is a huge believer in networking and mentoring and he's had a fair measure of success in his own career to prove how helpful that really is. So many of Marc's stories start off with someone making an introduction to someone else who opened a door and then...Marc got what he needed in the end. He's all about paying it forward and all about making a list of the people who are doing what you want to be doing and finding a way to introduce yourself to those people and just by making that personal connection, you are paving the way for a future involvement with them. I can't possibly encapsulate or sum up the way Marc runs his group - or The Table as they call themselves - but I was just blown away by the warmth of this group of people. And it all springs from Marc, who is one of the kindest, most generous people I have ever met.

If you live in the LA area, Marc runs another group called The Super Mentors class and I'm going to be sure my friend signs up for it. Mentoring, networking, paying it forward - it seems old-fashioned, but it's the foundation Hollywood was built on. And it's nice to see it alive and well at a small cafe in Toluca Lake every Thursday night.

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Broad Humor Film Festival

The Fourth Annual Broad Humor Film Festival is accepting screenplay submissions in three length categories: Under 20 pages, 20 to 60 pages, and over 60 pages. Broad Humor celebrates film comedies written and directed by women so screenplays should be submitted by female writers only. Dramedies are accepted as long as the script has lots of laughs or “smile moments” important to the story. Early (postmark) deadline is March 7; late deadline is May 9.

The Broad Humor Film Festival takes place June 12-14, 2009, at the Electric Lodge Performing Arts Center in Venice and includes screenplay readings as well as film screenings.

For more information CLICK HERE

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What Defines "good" Notes?

Morning, Wavers. I was going to write about good loglines today but I'm feeling lazy and busy. Busy and lazy. And overwhelmed. But the show must go on! So for today, here is an excerpt from an upcoming interview of moi in an undisclosed publication that I thought would make a convenient cut-n-paste and an informative, edu-taining read. We'll talk about loglines later. Suffice to say that mama has not been well pleased with the loglines submitted so far. We are missing conflict, we are not being pithy, we are sending stuff missing the key words. But. We shall revisit that anon. For now:

What makes for “good notes” from a reader?

Well, from where I sit, as the employer of many readers and a reader in the past myself, I would say that the notes need to be objective, respectful, instructive and well organized. Good notes from a company such as The Script Department are presented in such a way that the writer not only feels encouraged and validated in those areas that did work, but motivated and instructed about where to do better. I like my clients to come away with a plan of action and the energy and inspiration to attack improving the script, rather than feeling downhearted and directionless.

Bad notes are vague, snarky, verbose, disorganized and ultimately disrespectful of the writer. A good reader HAS to respect what the writer was trying to do. Nobody sets out to write a bad script. Nobody. Doesn't happen.

Now: there’s a very important distinction to be made here. Readers who work for production companies provide coverage that the writer will never see. The report is not for the writer, it is for the production company. So these notes will be quite a bit harsher and pretty unforgiving. Well, totally unforgiving. Readers who provide notes for a company such as mine are working for the writer. And the writer is going to see those notes and use them as a guide for improvement. That’s quite a different kettle of fish. Coverage versus Notes: Coverage is a brutal assessment. Notes are an instructive assessment.

When it comes to readers who work for The Script Department, I have one, overarching philosophy that my readers are aware of: I don’t care where a writer is on the curve, they worked hard on the script and deserve to be treated with respect because anyone who creates something where there was nothing and then asks for feedback is pretty okay in my book.

Readers who come to my company after having read for a production company have to take a moment to adjust to a new atmosphere; kind honesty and shrewd observations instead of brutal honesty and shrewd observations. Having made the transition myself, I know it is quite an adjustment. Believe me, it's much, much easier to do notes for a production company. You just crank them out and the writer's feelings are inconsequential. To produce notes that instruct and motivate takes more thought and time.

Good notes that YOU the writer will actually see and read should leave you feeling inspired to do better, not crying in your soup. Even when we have to give you bad news, it should be given in such a way that you want to rise to a challenge, not jump off a bridge. What I try to do is to provide notes to my clients that will result in a great coverage from a production company down the line. So we're honest, alright, but we want the result to be a better script. And you know what I always say -a spoonful of sugar and all that. Beating a writer up never encourages anything positive.

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Logline Competition

Okay Wavers - this is gonna be a whole lotta fun. Lotta, lotta fun. We're going to try something really different. Let's see who can write the most compelling, original, pithy logline that you could actually pitch in a room. A logline with a clear genre indicated, with conflict, cinematic potential and a unique main character . All in 50 words or less. Sounds impossible, right? Well, no it's not. So let's give it a shot!


Guidelines:
Any genre
50 words max (strictly enforced)
Must include the following: A sailor and a pirate. Doesn't matter which is the antagonist or protagonist. Just use a sailor and a pirate.

Deadline:
Wednesday, February 4th, 11:59pm Pacific Time
Submit HERE

Prize:
$25 gift certificate to the online vendor of your choice.

Fees:
Heh. That would be hilarious.

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The Power of Writing it Down

We all know the importance of having goals in life. It motivates us, it gives us direction and fuels our efforts. It gives us milestones when the path is dark and bumpy. I've talked a lot about goals in the past couple of months - the new year is a great (if false) marker and measure for looking forward and backward at the same time.

You know that annoying question that is sometimes asked at job interviews - where do you see yourself in five years? Well - where DO you see yourself in five years? In your professional and your personal life? It's actually a pretty helpful question to answer.

So here's some really fun, uplifting homework for Wavers today: Write a free-flowing paragraph or two about where you see yourself in five years. Write it only in the positive - as if you HAVE achieved your goals - personal and professional. Write it with feeling - how great it feels to have achieved what you have achieved. How hopeful you are about even more achievement and success. Where are you living? What kind of house? What is your relationship status? How's your health? What have you written? Has it been sold or published? What's your peer group like? How's your family? Don't think - just write. This will become your personal mission statement. Keep it somewhere safe and reread it from time to time.

Now: there's one caveat. You have to believe that your goals are achievable. So if you write down: I have sold nine scripts, won three Academy Awards and live in the Taj Mahal where dancing girls wearing nothing but coconuts entertain me - you're defeating the purpose of this exercise. Unless you really, truly, madly, deeply believe that is in fact in your future. In which case, I have a great psychiatrist I can turn you on to. You can make anything happen if you honestly believe, down deep, that it is possible. So write down goals that you KNOW you COULD possibly achieve and then watch them begin to show up for you. Oh and you have to do the work. There's that.

Just the act of articulating and writing down your goals is a powerful way to set them into motion. Go ahead - give it a try. I did it the other day and I feel like one meeellion dollars!

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If I Knew Then....

Gary Goldstein, the erudite and inspired producer of PRETTY WOMAN, is working on a set of audio books for screenwriters. I am honored to have been one of the professionals he has chosen to interview with my consulting as a jumping off point for my particular input. The title of my section is: If I Knew Then What I Know Now - and it's aptly titled. I was going to pull some of the questions from that section for today's blog but I think I'll leave that for the actual interview this Friday. But it inspired me to share with you today what my biggest What I Know Now lesson was. Well, it's not really one lesson, it's a bunch of lessons and if I had to be pithy and use one word to describe that group of lessons I would say it's: PATIENCE.

There is an urban myth among screenwriters - particularly newer ones, that goes like this:

I will write a script, I will query with that script, I will get repped, the manager will sell the script and I will put hundreds of thousands of dollars in my bank account and I will buy an island somewhere, equipped with a Blu-Ray, a private jet and dancing girls with coconuts. I will be interviewed, I will go to the premiere of my movie, I will be employed thereafter as a working (and somewhat vaunted) screenwriter. I practice my interviews in the shower now. I'm a genius! Why didn't I think of this like 10 years ago when I had that crappy job! Screenwriting is GREAT!

I thought all that stuff would be true too. I really did. You know, probably without dancing girls, more like I don't know, Viggo Mortensen would be my best friend and I would order trays of crudites from my chaise lounge by my pool, but of course, what a bitter lesson it was so learn the truth. My truth went something like this:

I will write a script and I will query and get no bites except from that one guy in Florida. I will feel excited but vaguely uneasy. Nothing will happen with that script. But hey, I must be pretty good! I will write another script and the same thing will happen except I get absolutely no replies to any of my queries. I will read about other people selling specs and buying islands and feel embittered or maybe impassioned and I will be tempted to quit in a huff but I don't. I keep trying. I will feel like I don't possibly have time to write when I have my job and my family and the stress of life. But I'll keep writing anyway. I will buy numerous screenwriting books and read them all and know that this next script is finally gonna be the ticket. It won't be. I will enter a competition nobody's heard of and place. I know it doesn't matter in the big picture but it feels great. So I keep writing. I finally query a manager who asks to read the script. He passes. I am bummed but at least something happened. Another manager, another read and a meeting this time! A real meeting! Would I like a water? Why, yes I would! Shampoo, rinse, repeat.

I fast forward, six or eight scripts in and I get a manager! A real one! From LA! One with a reputation! I am very excited, I made it over the moat! I'm in, guys! They like me, they really like me! The script "went out" and got some "fans" but no sale. Whiskey tango foxtrot! I'm somewhere between disappointed, bitter and a little wiser. Ahhhh, expectations, they must be managed. I tell myself this is normal. And as I look around at others in my position, I see that it is. AHA - this is the journey! I keep writing.

Every script I write gets better than the last. I look at the first script I ever wrote and I cringe. I can't believe I thought that would get me repped. I take classes. I live my life. I go to screenwriting events. I make lots of friends who are writers. I keep writing. I grow more circumspect. I stop focusing on getting repped and sold and I start focusing on writing a great script. And now I am finally at the place where something might - might - happen for me. And I keep writing. And I get repped yet again. And I get real meetings. Then nothing happens. But I'm not that upset by this - I take this as a challenge and I keep writing. And I write a script with a partner that gets me high level studio meetings and I'm picturing my island and nothing happens. I keep networking and I keep writing and I gain a reputation as a good writer who is "good in a room." One of my scripts gets a very successful producer attached. He takes the script to DreamWorks. And I wait. And I hope. But I know I won't be crushed if it doesn't happen because I've been down this road and I've grown as a writer and I know that this is a solid script and that I've got more like that in me.

I'm no longer picturing a private island but rather a decent paycheck and an open door for more meetings. I've come to relax into the journey. And I look back at the ridiculously high expectations of my earlier days and I wince - but I realize that this is the journey of a writer. It's like having a child - you can't know how hard it is or you'd never do it. You have to start out with high expectations and ideals. You can't know how circuitous this journey is going to be, or how long.

And that is the wisdom I have to pass along to you on this fine Monday, Wavers. I can't tell you to manage your expectations - you still think the journey I have been on will not apply to you. Oh, you won't admit it, of course. But deep in your heart, you think your path will be much, much shorter. That's okay. I felt the same way. You can't go around it, you have to go through it. Your path will be unique but it will have similar signposts. You might have three ineffective managers. You might have five. You might grab the brass ring on script number four and manager number two. But you can't know that - all you can do is hang onto that determination and not be swayed. As long as you keep writing and keep improving (that's key) your path will continue to unfold before you. Just keep swimming, as the Ellen DeGeneres fish said in NEMO. You know, whatever her name was. Just keep swimming. And now that tune is stuck in your head. You're welcome.

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The Boob Tube

On Tuesday I saw change come to America, twice.

First and foremost, as I stood on the Mall in Washington, one of millions in a crowd that truly encompassed the great variety of Americans. The prevailing feeling was a happy anticipation of the needed and past due end of one presidency and the amazing ascendancy of another. The peaceful transition of power, now — after everything, in the midst of all this — it’s amazing...and beyond that, for it to be such an important first. I saw it on the faces of everyone I passed: people who traveled to Washington knowing that they would not be within eyesight of the action but nonetheless, needing to be there.

Witnessing this historic inauguration was a profound experience. Standing with my friends, about halfway down the mall, in easy camaraderie with the people surrounding us, it was a type of technologically assisted witnessing that has become normal. It was all directly ahead of us, but we looked to the Jumbotrons and followed the action through that edited feed. There were four screens between me and the Capitol - I could see the images repeated and reduced until the eye was drawn back to where history was happening. That has become commonplace, but over the shoulder of a neighbor in the crowd I watched the CNN footage of what I had just experienced myself: the crowds emerging from the Metro, massive but orderly, the filling up of the Mall and also the events unfolding inside the Capitol. A live experience added to and mediated by having the televised experience in your hand.

And then when it was all over, we returned to my friends’ apartment. After an intense nine hours, of course what we wanted to do was to watch more! To check out the parade and catch up on the coverage of the event itself. After peeling off our layers we collapsed on the sofa — and our host turned on his computer. He doesn’t have cable. He doesn’t even have a TV antenna. All his viewing comes over the internet. And generally, he says, that works fine. He’s an avid follower of a few shows and an extremely well informed person but he doesn’t care if he catches things as soon as they are on or a day later, so he sees no reason to have cable. He has no plans at all to get it ever again. For the entertainment industry this is a game-changer.

I know this might sound like a sublime to ridiculous juxtaposition, but bear with me a moment. The trend to do without cable has already started for college students - they go on to not pick it up when leaving school for their first apartments. But my friend is not in the 18-34 bracket, just someone at ease with computers.

Setting something up so it works and having it able to do what you want is not necessarily the same thing. It is still the early days of internet access to what has always been the purview of cable and network channels, but content is out there, if you can find it.

If Tuesday was a good example, web TV is a scattershot world. Mostly we searched and surfed, without finding what we wanted. Googling by topic doesn’t work very well. It was great to go to YouTube and watch the videos that people had already uploaded to the site about their experiences that day, but that’s not the same as real news coverage. On sites like CNN, ABC or Comedy Central it was not always easy to find if they had live or earlier event coverage streaming. And using the mouse and keyboard, even wireless, was continually awkward, especially when it was sharing the coffee table with snacks.

Some of you might have already given up your cable box and are, like my friend, doing the solely web TV thing. I’d love to hear how it is working for you but this experience didn’t convince me. If I had been home I would have taken full advantage of the two tuners in my box and the Picture in Picture capabilities of my television to keep one channel up and wander around to see what else is being reported, then switch when I found something of interest. On my high-def screen I would have seen the details, the resolve on President Obama's face during the speech or the tears in spectators' eyes. It would have been as real as being there in some ways. The full screen streaming was not even as sharp as regular television and some of those parade costumes deserved to be seen in detail.

My friend was OK with it, despite the shortcomings. He thinks it will only keep getting better. And I think he is right; eventually it will. Both in how you find the content and the quality. It already has for non-live events - look at Hulu. Sooner or later they will find a way to normalize and monetize video on the Internet. The question is how long will that take? Change is happening, but right now, with a struggling economy and an unsure industry, what will the effect be to the production of content if more people make the decision my friend made and don’t subscribe to cable?

***
Tips from TV Land on catching your favorite shows.


Our TV correspondent Lisabeth Laiken has been scrutinizing television since they got the breed of dog wrong on Little House on the Prairie. After ending her college years watching movies and television critically in a joint Film Studies and Semiotics program, she went on to use two VCRs to collect and catalog all her favorite shows (over 500 tapes) long before DVR was a glimmer in anyone’s eye.

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Dear Academy Awards

Dear Academy Award Producers:

I'm asking really, really nicely here if you can please produce a ceremony that brings the Oscars out of the doldrums and back into relevance. You know what I mean. Ratings have dropped for many successive years. But I am your one true fan. I watch every year. And every year I hope for a monumental gaffe, streaker or Native American to collect a statue by proxy. But no. Every year I wind up with leftover warm beer, pretzel and potato chip crumbs all over the couch and a vague sense of having just lost three hours of my life. And zomg, not in a good way, like when I play online Scrabble. See, wasting time is a national pastime. So in a way, you've come full circle back into relevance.

Remember when Bette Davis won a lifetime achievement award? That was good TV. Why not serve booze to attendees right where they sit? Like in little commemorative flasks? Grease the wheels a little. I'm just sayin'.

We want numbers on this show, guys. Spice it up. Seat actors with long-running grudges next to each other. Get an animal act. Maybe an angry, drunk monkey. Seat Uma and Oprah right next to each other - see, no brainer. I am available for consultations, btw. That's short for "by the way" - you guys are a little behind the times, imo. LOL. This is the Facebook/Funny or Die Generation, guys. KK?

Why does Jack Nicholson always sit front and center? Can you mix that up a little? I mean, seriously, what goes on there?

Why didn't Revolutionary Road get more and more significant nominations?

Why did you choose Hugh Jackman to host? Sure, he's easy on the eyes, but seriously, I think we all have major qualms on this pick. Are Jon Stewart or Chris Rock just too "edgy?" I get your decision not to use Letterman - dear god - but Jackman? Isn't he irritated or embarrassed that Australia didn't get one nod? You better watch him carefully. He could do anything up there. I'm just pointing out the obvious. You're welcome.

I have included my return address so you can answer my questions. Much appreciated. Oh and p.s. - if you have an extra tickets, please mail them to me in the enclosed SASE. Thnx.

***
The complete list of nominations

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The Assistant Files

In the last Assistant File we talked about interpreting the code phrases used in industry assistant-wanted ads. In this one I'm going to give you some tips on acing the interview process.

You see, I - like many assistants who've worked in the industry for any length of time - have functioned as a one-Andy HR department, and have hired my own replacement, simply presenting two final pre-approved options for The Boss to choose between.

(Or, to be honest, to fuss and moan about, because most bosses, even though they are theoretically aware that you are not going to stick around and answer their phone for years and years, simply cannot believe that you are leaving them. Some of them actually use phrases along the lines of "I can't believe that you're leaving me!" or "I thought better of you, I really did!" or "A good assistant would never have done this.")

All this boils down to the fact that many long-time assistants have done a lot more interviewing than you might expect from people who are glorified helper monkeys. And here, for what it's worth, are my takeaways:

*DO have an email address that is some version of firstname.lastname@gmail.com. Do NOT have an email address like NUMBER1PHIL@AOL.COM or AWESOMEASSISTANT4U@HOTMAIL.COM or SEXXYSEXXYSUE@YMAIL.COM.

*DO have your contact info immediately accessible in your cover letter. Do NOT include email addresses that will bounce back or phone numbers of cell phones that are disconnected for lack of payment. When I call to chat with you about your resume, if this isn't a good time, say so. I'm going to be asking you probing questions about past insane jobs you've had, so if you're at work and can't talk, don't be stilted and weird, ask if you can call me back over lunch.

*DO dress up a little bit. If you're a boy, nobody is going to make fun of you for wearing a suit and tie. If you're a girl, wear something your conservative aunt would approve of. No open toes, no cleavage. This isn't a date. Do NOT wear jeans. Come on. Entertainment is mostly a pretty casual environment (barring agencies. Agencies are like Mad Men.) but the understanding for job interviews is that you show up at your most formal, not like you just got back from Senor Frog's.

*DO explain in your cover letter why you want this particular job, particularly if you're trying to break in. Do NOT say stuff like "I'm just trying to get my first job in entertainment. I'll take anything. But I'm really looking to jump ship to talent management." Industry jobs get insane numbers of resumes, so if your background isn't something I can grasp at a glance - say, if your work experience is all in real estate and you're applying to be a development assistant - you can't expect that you're going to get a call unless you have a terrific pitch for why I ought to consider you over the dozens of people with exact-match backgrounds.

*DO lie. (A little.) Tell me you're detail-oriented, terrific with difficult people, organized like a mofo, willing to go the extra mile, work-obsessed, happy to commit for two years: As an assistant, I know full well that those little white lies really boil down to "I will work hard and give this a for-real shot." Which is really all one can expect. Do NOT lie in real ways that I can spot. Like if you say that you work at Company X but really you got fired from that desk six months ago and I know people there. And do NOT be too honest. Don't say things like "How much overtime can I count on, moneywise?" or "I take a tango class on Tuesdays so I'd need to leave early every week, I hope that's not a problem," in the actual interview. This is Hollywood. Everyone's pretending they don't need the money and love the job so much they'd work for free.

*DO, if it's relevant to the position (the ad said something about "personalities" or "thick skin," or the outgoing assistant uses code phrases like "Boss expects excellence") mention any past work experience with a "demanding" boss. Do NOT badmouth said boss. There's a fine line between letting me know that you worked for a crazy bitch and handled it fine because you're a rock star, and actually calling your old boss a crazy bitch.

*DO be polite and attentive during the interview. I know a monkey could do this job, you know a monkey could do this job. You still need to pretend to be thoughtful and impressed when I'm telling you about the long hours and the stress and the lack of getting to go to the bathroom. I just want you to know what you're getting into so I don't foist a lemon off on Boss. Do NOT blow past me with stories about how you had a sooooo much more stressful job than this. That's not going to impress me, it's going to make me think that you're a jerk.

*DO follow up after the interview. A thank-you note or email is not just polite, it helps me remember who you were. And feel free to call or email about a week later if you haven't heard back. Do NOT call me twice a day, every day, because you thought you were such a terrific fit. I know I said that interviewing isn't like dating...but really, it is. If I want to see you again, I'll call you. In the meantime, be cool. You don't need the money, remember?

If you follow the above tips, you may not get the job - this is after all a ridiculously competitive industry - but you at least stand a shot of being taken seriously and having your resume go in the keeper file, instead of having me make fun of you in an Assistant File later.

xxo,

Andy Sachs

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Writing a Logline Sucks

Yeah, you read that right. Writing a logline sucks. But like organizing your receipts for taxes, cleaning up what the dog harked up and visiting your mother-in-law, it's a necessary evil.

First of all, there really has been a bit of a blur between the definitions of a premise line and a logline. I tend to go with the distinction that a logline is what describes your script within the industry. Meaning, a reader will write a logline of your script. Executives will ask what it is. Loglines might appear in brief descriptions of scripts online, in competitions or in the trades. It's brief, it's not particularly sexy, but it sums up the script. A premise line is a bit longer and this is a tool for you, the writer, as you are working on your script. A logline should be one or two brief sentences. A premise line can be three or four sentences. The premise line is what you the writer use as you are fleshing out your story - it might change 13 times. The logline is the end result to describe the script that is already written. Let's keep this particular conversation focused on loglines rather than premise lines - a summing up of your script AFTER it's written.

Now. We all know that summing up our scripts in two or three sentences is a horrible thing to have to do. I can't leave out the part about the crazy janitor! Oh, oh and the thing - that sequence, with the big chase scene? Or how Teo tells Liz he loves her in the coffee shop? No, no and no.

When you are a production company reader you have to generate loglines quickly, easily and often. And of course, with practice, you get pretty darn good at it. One of the key ingredients to getting to do it quickly and easily is of course repetition. Readers also don't care that much how poetic the logline is: A group of teenaged werewolves terrorize a Nova Scotia village until a legendary polar bear drives them off. Done. I'm just writing a very quick upshot.

Wait, wait, back up - didn't I just say that loglines are what readers generate? So let them do it, loglines are for suckers! Oh how nice it would be if that were true.

The ability to rattle off a quick logline as an entree to discussing your script is a great thing to be able to do on every level. You might be at a party. You might meet someone who can help you. But more importantly - perhaps most importantly - being able to state a logline for what you've written (or are continuing to work on) helps you gain clarity as a writer.

But gaining this type of overview clarity is hard and it takes practice. It's like playing Scrabble, doing a Rubik's Cube, doing a crossword puzzle and juggling all at the same time. See, we writers have weird brains. Can anyone really dispute that? We think in concentric circles. We think in details. We think in moments and bits of dialogue and the fact that this scene takes place at the dawn. With a soft rain falling. But we have to ask ourselves to shift gears into the macro. Because nobody likes to talk to a writer who lacks the ability to FREAKING UPSHOT THE SCRIPT.

Nothing glazes eyes over faster than hearing this from a writer, after having asked what their script is about: Well, okay. It's about this guy. Wait - no, a guy and his wife, right? And they're bank robbers. So they rob this bank and - wait - no, back up, okay they live in Nebraska and have two kids but then he gets laid off so they - wait - okay so they got married really young, right? And... So here's what's happening in my head as you are now what I consider babbling: I am eyeing the bar behind you. Should I get a mojito? I am looking for any escape route. Oh LOOK - canapes! I'll do anything to get out of this long, boring, circuitous conversation. That's not exactly the effect you were going for, as the writer.

Aside from boring the hell out of potential contacts, a writer who cannot rattle off a quick logline to describe their script is in trouble. Because if you can't sum up your script quickly, it's likely the case that the script is not in terrific shape. The higher the concept of your script, the more exact the execution, the more intimate you the writer are with the narrative and character arcs - the easier it is to summarize quite briefly.

It could be that you need to practice. Go ahead - rattle off your logline. Can you do it in two sentences? Remember - I'm only talking about the macro overview. It is useful to practice rattling off a logline before, during and after writing your script. It keeps you centered. It's your compass rose.

Again - crucial distinction here - I am NOT talking about a premise line (which we shall revisit later this week), we are talking about a logline - so I'm not super concerned with the old rules of having to mention the antagonist, main character flaw, etc. If you CAN get across the genre, the main character's flaw and the antagonist all within that one sentence, Willy Wonka and a chocolate river to you - that's GREAT. But don't be super concerned about that right now.

For this initial exercise, I'm asking Wavers to push the pause button today and jot down a simple logline. If you can't do it - try again. And again. And then if you still can't sum up your script that quickly, you may need to diagnose just why that is. Do you have a BOSH script? (bunch of stuff happens). Generating a logline is like a doctor being able to give you the quick upshot: You have the measles. Great - I can work with that.

Naturally, if the spine of your story is simpler, it will be easier to sum up. But in any event, you should still be able to give me the freaking upshot already: A bank robbing couple from Nebraska go on a spree and become folk heroes. Okay, I can grok that pretty quickly. That's all I wanted, a quick thumbnail so I can tell my boss that this script might be something we should read for our production company.

Now I know what you're thinking and I know this because pretty much all writers try this excuse at one time or another: But my script isn't so simple! It's complex and full of nuance and detail and MY script is far, far above simplistic pablum and defies a brief overview! You know what, I have bad news for you - these are bullshits. Your script might be complex, it might be full of detail but somewhere in there, you DO have a spine of your story. And you need to be able to pull that out, hang it up in front of the class and point to it. Basically this is the story of...what?

Learning how to summarize your script in one or two brief sentences can feel like torture. But it's good for you - trust me. Take a minute today and write a logline for your script. I know you're going to hate it, that's a given - but can you do it? Practice makes perfect. Generate loglines for movies you see or scripts you read. Generate loglines for ideas you have. Generate loglines for old scripts you've written. Keep at it and soon you'll find that your logline muscles will grow.

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Slumdog of Sundance: Part II

Wow, I will probably irritate quite a few people with this but -- I have still not seen a film yet. It's not that I don't want to. I really, really do, it's just that I'm a young writer trying to meet people and when opportunities arise I feel I have to take them. So maybe this blog is more about networking then anything.

Yesterday we went to several parties. Two were at Hollywoodlife for premiere after-parties. One for a film Denise Richards was in, I'm not sure the other. Paris Hilton was there with her many assistants. She of course was upstairs in the blocked off section, but it's not like meeting her is going to help a screenwriter's career anyway, right? Or maybe it would?

I met tons of publicists. I guess that makes sense. It's just funny that they would take an interest in a writer. I guess everyone needs publicity these days, though. They are great people to meet at parties because they introduce you to people right there on the spot. I met several people that way.

I met one of the producers of Harry Potter - she was very sweet and her husband was so nice. We talked to him quite a bit actually. She just did a documentary called The Cove that was at Slamdance I believe. We were at the after-party for it when we met her.

I'm loving Sundance. I've probably made over 10 valuable connections through it and already have meetings for next week when I get back to LA. And a name actor who recognized my director from the New York Film Festival told him he's interested in one of the roles for our movie!!

Monday was again more parties; however, Park City seems to be winding down. We went to Rock Band Lounge for the premiere after-party of Once More With Feeling. It's in Sundance noncompetition but it's nearly sold out for the entire week! Awesome because I have mutual friends with the filmmakers and I love when little films get some buzz!

I really want to go to the Slamdance happy hour. Some of the greatest people I've met both this year and last year have actually been at Slamdance events, not Sundance.

I promised myself I will see a movie if it's the last thing I do. How can I not?


DJ Halferty has written in the independent world writing paid assignments. He's optioned a script and recently signed a purchase agreement for teen comedy Aunt Sylvia's List, which he's currently doing rewrites on. It's in development/pre-production to be shot in Salt Lake City, Utah later this year.

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Put Your TiVo to Work

So earlier today while nursing a slight cold and doing Very Useful Things, I noticed that my TiVo didn't have my favorite channels listed. Despite the fact that I actually don't watch much in the way of TV other than Seinfeld reruns and the occasional - OKAY FINE - Dancing With the Stars, I chose a handful of faves. Then began flipping through them idly (wow cold medicine makes you feel all fluffy inside) when I noticed a plethora of movies that I either haven't seen or I loved. Check out this fun list:

JOHNNY BELINDA: Ahhhhh....never saw it? Has Jane Wyman? Good enough for me.

A DRY WHITE SEASON: Ohhhh I remember when that came out. I remember the trailer which may be why I have a vague sense I've seen this when I'm pretty sure I have not. (Does that happen to anybody else?)

BATS: Wait, didn't a friend tell me recently this is a HILARIOUSLY bad movie? Always TiVo the Funny-Badness.

NEPTUNE'S DAUGHTER: Esther Williams, technicolor, synchronized swimming. Thank you. You're welcome.

CRY, THE BELOVED COUNTRY: That is definitely a movie I think I thought I saw. Either that or the Long Term Movie Memory disk is offloading information. Anyway, South Africa, politics, tragedy, based on a book...Must seem serious and learned at parties concerning such.

HELLBOY: Have not seen that. And really should have. Whooo - just saved three bucks at the video store!

NINOTCHKA: Have not seen this. Oh Greta. I'm never as lonely as when I'm with you.

IT WAITS: This looks like a tragi-comically bad movie. Must TiVo the Funny-Badness. Always.

THE PETRIFIED FOREST: Horrified to admit I have not seen this. But - should I be? Ohhhh okay, Bette Davis and Leslie Howard. Done.

MARTY: I just gotta know why that line in QUIZ SHOW was so significant. Plus, two words: Paddy Chayefsky.

I WANT TO LIVE!: I am 95% sure I have seen this sort of goofy Susan Hayward tear-jerker. But what the hell. Live dangerously.

THE ITALIAN JOB: Haven't seen it. Might like it. Not that invested.

FIERCE PEOPLE: What's this?! Diane Lane movie I haven't seen?

SHAMPOO: Due to an intense aversion to Warren Beatty when I was a child (god I despised the whole overtan, tight white pantsed, hairy chest, gold necklace thing in the '70s, among so many other things) I have not seen this. And I should.

Are you making the most of your TiVo? Check out the future listings today and see if there are any movies on your Hall of Shame or What the Hell lists. It's fun, it's free and Wavers know how aspiring screenwriters with a dearth of film viewing hours particularly when it comes to seminal and classic movies gives me an EYE TWITCH. Do it for mama, guys. Watch more movies.

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The Slumdog of Sundance

I was meaning to blog each day for at least the first weekend since that's when most things go on, but we decided to take an already busy schedule and throw in a 24 hour film competition. So friday I wrote a 3 page script in roughly 20 minutes, went to meet up with some people that manage the main hotels for the week (Hotel Park City, The Yarrow, etc) to see about getting into certain events, then shot some scenes, and then went back to Park City. For friday night we weren't on any lists so we just figured we'd show up and see what we can do. We did talk to some publicists, via our friend April, about possibilities for us later on this week. We'll see...

Like I said, Sundance is about the parties. celebrities, money, etc. Not that I care about those things very much, but those are the things that get films made. Specifically, and hopefully, my films. So we went up to some place on Main Street (If you've never been, most of Sundance takes place on this street.) This place had a huge line. We slip up to the front and the doorman is telling everyone how it's at capacity. No one can be let in. Even on a list. Riight. I think they just say that. And my theory held true because the guy turns away all these people, but looks at my friend and I and says, "You two can go on in." Random? Yes.

After the party we went to go shoot another scene for this 24 hour contest. Part of the competition was they give you a prop you have to use. Haha, Therefore, I was dressed in a match costume, lol, and couldn't even move! I'm at the top of the stairs with no eye holes, hoping to God I don't trip and plummet down the steps.

We were up until 9:30 am shooting, but had to be at some SAG panel at 10:30. Haha...needless to say, we missed the panel. (A friend took notes for us, though.) Apparently an increasing number of projects are starting to be shot in Utah. Not just indie or LDS films either. (Nothing against either of those -- great films are great films regardless) But some major productions are deciding to shoot here as well. Anybody out there with any Utah contacts might want to consider this.

So we didn't make it to any screenings today (but we do know some volunteers who can hook us up -- another important thing to consider -- be a volunteer at Sundance. A lot of times you can even get a place to stay up in Park City for free.)

Instead, we met up with other friends to catch up and talk about projects. I met a few possibly good contacts at random places (waiting in lines while avoiding the cold, at a couple parties) who are looking for writers. Again, we'll see...

A lot of the celebs we're out to play today. I heard about tons of them, but only saw Ashley Judd, Brett Ratner, Alan Cummings, Kevin Bacon. I've noticed how much friendlier they are than what you would see on TMZ. Pretty sure it was Kim Bassinger today walking in front of me. Some girls pointed and screamed how much they love her. She smiled back and said she loved them even more. Easy enough, but still polite and kind.

What am I forgetting? Oh yeah went to an Ed Hardy show (and we might be heading to an Ed hardy party here pretty soon, but we're exhausted and our contact for it hasn't texted us back yet.)

Tomorrow I've got a meeting and I'm determined to finally go see one of the films. I'm hearing a lot about the 500 days of summer one. I love how people will ask each other "is this a good one?" "what have you heard?" "Yeah, it's supposed to be good." "No, I have no idea what it's about."

Just like last year, Sundance isn't changing my life, but it's fun and you can definitely meet people. So far I'm enjoying it despite the lack of sleep and cold philangees.

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The Slumdog of Sundance

Have you ever wanted to go to the Sundance Film Festival? I'm torn. The friends I have who have gone complain of the bitter cold, the scene-y atmosphere and the lack of quality films. But sure, I'd go just once to say I did. I might do it next year. But for this year, The Rouge Wave has a mole at Sundance. My friend DJ has made his way out there as of yesterday and will be sending Rouge Wavers blog reports of his experiences. Armed with the list of the hottest screenings and parties to talk his way into, he's mostly winging it so we'll take what we can get.

****

So here's our first message from Sundance:

So I just got into Utah. Cold! Nothing really happened today. I think this is partly due to the festival being cut back so much this year and most people just getting in or coming in Friday. It sure does seem scaled back. Way fewer parties from what I've been hearing.

So tonight I just walked around with my Utah filmmaker friends Colton Tran and April Frampton. (I won't bore you but they're amazingly talented. Colton's directing Aunt Sylvia's List, April does PR/pretty much everything.) We talked to some other people and just put together our game plan for the week. We saw Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue! April was joking and called out to a guy she thought looked like him. Turns out it was him. He said all of hi.

So tomorrow (16th) is when things really start going. So far what I have planned is a couple meetings, some screenings, a couple fashion shows, some parties of course. Sundance is all about the parties.

And yes, I promise I'll mention any celebrities I see. Last year I remember seeing Jimmy Fallon EVERY SINGLE DAY I was there. It's like he was omnipresent. I know as writers we don't care about celebrities...but let's be honest. You know you do.



DJ Halferty has written in the independent world writing paid assignments. He's optioned a script and recently signed a purchase agreement for teen comedy Aunt Sylvia's List, which he's currently doing rewrites on. It's in development/pre-production to be shot in Salt Lake City, Utah later this year.

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New Speak: It's JUST for Texting!

So how many Rouge Wavers text their family and friends? I do it a lot now. Texting has become part of my life. I was never one of those self-described Luddites. I can upload, download and update many things. Nevertheless, texting as far as I was concerned initially was a sort of last ditch thing for confirmation, etc., but now I text friends and colleagues about any number of things. When I first started texting I would text something like this: Hey, my flight is late. See you at the gate. I'm wearing a red coat which took me 3 minutes to text and gets a reply like: C U thr. So now I am down with the texting lingo: U R cmg @ 8? It was a brief learning curve but I can now text with the best of 'em.

As a sidenote, I'm fairly certain my Blackberry's "smart type" has some kind of content editor because no, I am not texting the work "duck" or "ducking" - ever.

Texting and IMing using a truncated new speak is not new. We're all familiar with brb, lol, omg, cya, kk and my funny newest - zomg! But one pitfall of new speak, whether it's in texting, IM or message boards is that we become lazy. It's fine to say "your gng 2 B lte!" - the operative word there being "your" instead of "you're". I have noticed that spelling in scripts I read has gotten worse and worse. And this is the truly horrible part - I have to catch myself more and more too.

Not that you're going to catch me writing: 2 B or nt 2 B anytime soon in a script or anywhere else, but it is a challenge when your brain shifts back and forth from proper spelling to new speak. Proper spelling and grammar is slowly eroding. On the one hand, that is the way of things. We no longer speak the way Shakespeare wrote - iffin that was the way Joe Average spoke at that time, or anywhere close. We no longer speak the way we did in the 1950s for that matter: Say, you are looking very nice today, Jody! Today that would be: Girl, you're hot!

Language is an organic thing and we have plenty of evidence to prove that. But make sure that you do check yourself when working on scripts or anything else that will be publicly consumed. Watch your "your" versus "you're," "to" versus "too" and duck versus...well - you get my point.

The hilarious thing is that your script will be read by people who are probably texting while reading it: Ths scrpt kicks ass! brb! Mtng! - but they'll still slam you if your script has spelling errors or language usage problems. Because the way we speak in some mediums is not the way we speak in others. Scripts are still expected to be written properly. I am not referring to the fact that you may have a character who uses slang, but particularly in your action lines - get it right.

So even if you are a texting aficionado, but sure to flip that switch when you write. It matters. No j/k.

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The TV Tattler

Woot! Brand new weekly column on the Rouge Wave! The TV Tattler is written by my friend, the gorgeous, glamorous television aficionada Lisabeth Laiken. Feast on this, Wavers!

The third week of January there will be an unusual conjunction of events. Like Jupiter and Venus in alignment to make a smiley face with a crescent moon, Friday Night Lights has its third season finale on Wednesday and then its third season premiere on Friday. Time is not going backwards, despite what happens on some of our current TV shows - but it is occurring in order to save something precious. Last year trying to find a way to renew a critic favorite with a relatively small but very ardent audience, NBC went looking for a partner. This would give them a way to keep the show on the air despite the fact that the ratings were too low for them to continue to produce it. Luckily DirectTV was looking to increase its original programming, and, for first airing rights, took on the production costs. NBC is gambling that the relatively small portion of the viewing audience that has satellite will not take too much away from their ratings. Whether fans have also viewed it through illegal torrents in enough numbers to make a difference is yet to be seen.

TV is in the midst of a turbulent time, above and beyond the continued impact of the writers' strike last year. Look at FNL, or NBC’s Hail Mary play moving Leno to prime time, or the canceled Dead Like Me returning as a direct to DVD movie or Sanctuary - a show that started as pay to view on the internet, was picked up by SCI-FI and then renewed for its second season - or Childrens’ Hospital, original programming on the website for the defunct television network The WB. This is a time when a million viewers on one channel means success and major award victories but six million on another is cause for the cancellation for a critics darling. And speaking of ratings, are they counting the night's numbers or live plus three?

This is a time of continued erosion of scripted time-slots on networks, growing original programming on basic and pay cable, and a year-round TV season. Television is confusing right now, absolutely, and there are grave issues - but there is also new potential and exciting opportunities. And while it's been bumpy the last few years with no one place that seems to have a corner on the “Must See TV” market, like HBO did and NBC before that and ABC before that, going back to the early days of broadcast...there is great scripted television out there. Wonderful shows of all types that grab you and make you want more. The question now is where to find it, when to find it and how to find it. And does or will it even ever appear on your television set? What the landscape will look like in a year or five is still anyone’s guess, although it will no longer be dominated by a stand-alone box in our homes. But there are trends and decisions to be watching. And beyond the business aspects, there is what's going on with the shows themselves. What type of shows are being programmed and, more importantly, watched. And in this time of The Long Tail, where do the numbers come into play? But everything going on does have it’s own sense and logic. There is a "how" to the workings of television. Storytelling in this medium is a complex set of intersecting issues and challenges before you even get to the plot, theme, arc and character development. So these postings will aim to look at all that, to shine a light, to throw down an anchor or two in these unsettled waters.

And finally I’ll ask you the question: Why do we watch what we watch? With so much out there, what draws you to one show rather than another? Unlike movies, television is the writers’ medium. Showrunners, producers, are most often the writers. Television tells the long format story. Week in, week out, with great convolutions or none, with characters changing and growing or staying comfortably the same, with the acknowledgment of time passing or characters that don’t seem to age a day from beginning to end, it has to hold your attention for six episodes or 13 or 23. It has to hold the audience over time. And for that you need the wonder of the writers' minds creating a world that the viewers will want to visit — 100 times if they are lucky. And maybe some of you want to be lucky like that. Hopefully here there will be some good information, insights and explanations to help you.

-Lisabeth Laiken has been scrutinizing television since they got the breed of dog wrong on Little House on the Prairie. After ending her college years watching movies and television critically in a joint Film Studies and Semiotics program, she went on to use two VCRs to collect and catalog all her favorite shows (over 500 tapes) long before DVR was a glimmer in anyone’s eye.

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Cayman Island Writing Retreat

So my friend Christopher Keane, screenwriter and author of Romancing the A-List, is hosting a fabulous writing retreat in the Cayman Islands this summer. Wow. It sounds amazing. It's from July 11th through July 25th and it sounds like a great atmosphere for learning the nuts and bolts of screenwriting in gorgeous place. So check it out, you lucky ducks who can go! You might just find me in your luggage!

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TV Staffing Season

By Margaux Froley

You might think that TV staffing season is more of a spring event. Yes, generally new and returning shows do the majority of their hiring, or as we call it, staffing, around May. However, January is here and the prepared writer should be acting like May is tomorrow.

If this is your first staffing season and you are still trying to get that first elusive staff writer job, you should be getting your material ready to shop to agents and possible representatives. Giving an agent as much time as possible to get to know your work and your own personality only helps them pitch you to shows that might be hiring. Now is the time to solidify any representation relationships. With this jump on the season, an agent can do his/her work getting you general meetings with the networks and studios that will be doing the hiring in months to come. Again, this all allows you to build stronger relationships with people who will be in the position to hire you or to pass your work onto showrunners looking for new writers. Creating fans of your writing early on only helps the staffing process for when you need agents and executives in your corner come April. And, don’t forget, because of cable programming staffing is more of a year round job than ever before. Sure, the majority of jobs come up in the spring, but being ready to go when that hot new HBO show comes looking in February is always a smart move.

Now, the bigger concern many of you might have: What about my material? Is my DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES spec going to work for me this year? Do I need to write another spec? What if I only have a pilot? I would say that having a current spec is first and foremost. If you don’t have a functioning spec, get writing! The market is seeing a lot of specs of DEXTER, HOUSE, and THE OFFICE. New shows that are relevant to spec might be THE MENTALIST, MAD MEN or even DAMAGES, and comedies 30 ROCK, HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, and maybe for the kookier writers, IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA. You should be spec-ing a show that is in the genre you want to get hired in. Don’t write a HOUSE and wonder why THE BIG BANG THEORY didn’t call you. A spec should be of a show that is critically acclaimed and has some commercial viability too. You won’t get a lot of fans of your work if no one has seen the show you are mimicing. And watch out for those stunt specs. Writing the DEXTER spec where his sister dies might be a great sample, but that doesn’t show off your skills to work with the given components of a show. The people hiring you want to know you can work with their cast of characters week after week; you can’t kill a series regular every week.

Having original material, preferably a pilot or a play, has become more and more in demand. Specs are a necessary evil to show people you can mimic someone else’s voice, but with so many people trying to break into TV, you also need material to show that you have a voice. If you are aiming to get staffed, your pilot is being read as a sample. Feel free to make it memorable. You don’t have to worry about production limitations yet; this pilot is purely an example of you showing off your voice. Maybe in a few years someone might want to make it, once you get more experience under your belt, but for now, your original work should be just that, original.

Breaking into TV has become more and more difficult. I highly recommend taking advantage of the many fellowship opportunities around town. Even being a finalist in the ABC or the Warner Brothers Fellowships might get that agent who was hip pocketing you to want to push harder for you this staffing season. These fellowships are a great way to stand out from the pack of writers trying to break in. Even then there are no guarantees.

Good luck getting your scripts in order. Happy Staffing!

Margaux Froley is a staff writer on the CW's Privileged. A long time member of The Script Department, Margaux is available on a limited basis to read and review your television scripts. Rouge Wavers receive a 15% discount on all television services.

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Interpreting GOOD Notes

Rouge Waver Luzid left a very relevant and interesting comment that I thought would be best addressed here:

Julie,

Something else for us to consider when receiving notes is what to make of *good* coverage. Knowing that a little padding goes into critiques to protect writers from taking too much critical flak, how does it work in cases where the coverage is favorable?

Actually, in prodco coverage, no padding is added for the writer. Ever. In my earlier post, I am primarily referring to coverage or notes that writers have paid for. Notes aimed at them, specifically. In my class, I advocate that all readers use care and respect toward the writer - whether the writer sees the notes or not. It's about intentionality and ethics.

When two or more readers (independent of each other) say things like "overall the visuals were stunning with poetic language," "very compelling premise" or "the script could attract name talent due to its overall ingenuity," what does one take away from it?

As writers, we all want to know others are responding to our work. But we also know to be careful not to just hear what we want to hear. What's the best way to analyze positive coverage to avoid getting the wrong idea?

***

You should feel GREAT if you get comments like that. Really great. For about 10 minutes. Then take about 25% off of that great comment and chalk it up to subjectivity and smoke blowing. That's really the best advice I can give you. If you get good feedback there's only one way to view that - as terrific, subjective and slightly inflated. But it's still very, very good overall. If I could tell you the number of times I have gotten AMAZING notes from people who later dropped the ball, walked away or otherwise then back-pedaled, you'd be amazed. Take notes like that as a good sign, be encouraged by it but don't overinflate yourself, your writing or your prospects. Take it in stride and just know that you are doing something very, very right. Then get back to work and keep producing more of what got you that nice note.

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Bad Coverage Sucks

We've all gotten it. Really bad coverage. Bad because the script needed work and it got slammed or bad because the reader was mean-spirited and a bad writer him or herself. The latter is the WORST feeling.

As many Wavers know, I teach a class on how to become a production company reader. A prodco reader is a bit different than a reader for, say, a company such as my own. Production company readers do not need to hand hold but they do need to come from a neutral, professional jumping off point of rating the writer and project based on an almost clinical set of guidelines. You won't see your coverage if it comes from a production company, good or bad. You'll just be told that it was good or bad.

But you might get coverage or notes from a script coverage service such as mine or a competition that gives notes and I know from experience how infuriating it is when the notes are just written badly. Because you have put so much effort into that script - whether it came out good or bad - and when someone appears to just phone in their comments without really making the effort to articulate them with insight, neutrality and half an ounce of respect - well, it makes my blood boil. I won't have it when it comes to my clientele and it makes me mad when I hear about writers getting bad coverage from other services or sources. I guess it's because I've been on the receiving end of that and because I know from experience that it isn't that hard to write great coverage. It's about respect for the writer. I mean - come on.

As I grade the coverage samples that my Reader students generate, I find myself grading them on the accuracy of their statements (because of course, I am intimately familiar with the scripts they are given for homework), their use of "coverage-speak" and their tone in general. Coverage speak is something I talked about on the Rouge Wave a million years ago and is just a sort of soft-pedal couching of statements by using words like "however" or "unfortunately" or "potential."

So rather than saying (and let me preface THIS by saying the following is pretty much the type of coverage that I have seen some readers produce): SQUIRRELS OF DETROIT is unfunny, executed badly and has a cliched premise.

Rather, one could say: SQUIRRELS OF DETROIT has a charming comedic premise with much potential; unfortunately the writer missed opportunities to really execute a unique and engaging narrative.

Both comments sum up that the script sucks. But what a difference in the way they land, right?

It's like that old methodology of not saying to a person "You always do this and you always do that" but rather "I feel this way when you do that sometimes." You know - it's all about the delivery. If you are telling someone something difficult, you want to keep your focus on a good outcome, right? So if you dash off coverage notes that are sloppy and disrespectful, the writer will of course feel TERRIBLE and probably MAD and then not really be receiving this information in such a way that they'll do a better job in their rewrite. I don't care how bad a script is: The writer, by receiving notes, just climbed a rung on the ladder and can now do better for the next go round. But not if they feel bad after having read the notes.

Being a good reader is more than identifying what doesn't work - it's about identifying it in an organized, articulate, neutral way. Slamming the writer is a no fly zone as far as I am concerned. Whether at my company or anywhere else.

Many of my students are taking the Reader Class simply to get an inside view of how scripts are covered so they can be armed with what NOT to do, etc. Which I think is pretty damn smart as a strategy. I wish I had known this stuff when I first began submitting scripts. Oh how I wish I had known.

My readers are pretty damn experienced and good at what they do and they've worked for me long enough to know what coverage makes mama happy. But by teaching this class to new readers, my objective is to raise the bar for readers - to really ask more of them. It's not rocket science to see what's wrong with a script. But it does take a certain skill set to identify problems, seek solutions, organize all of that in an easy to understand way and to give the writer this information in a way that makes them feel empowered and excited about the rewrite - not beaten down and crappy. That, believe it or not, is sometimes a reach for some readers. It's all about giving a damn how the writer will feel when they read our coverage.

As I tell the Mini-W, it's not about studying HARDER at school, it's about caring about the subject and about the work you turn in. And I am proud to say that my readers all come from that jumping off place. I wouldn't hire a reader who felt otherwise.

So this from Week Two of the Reader Course may offer more insight to you writers out there wondering how a production company rates writers and how I instruct new readers to do that from my own experience with production companies. My goal is to instruct as many readers as possible so that slowly, over time, industry readers will begin to take more pride in the importance of their jobs and slow down a bit and be thorough, professional and kind. I am not saying current prodco readers are not those things - but there are a lot of bad apples. And they're rating YOUR scripts. I hope to change the prevailing winds a little bit over time:

RATING THE WRITER
You are rating the writer as much as you are rating the project. Writers receive “pass,” “consider” and “recommend” ratings in the same way that the script does. A writer with a “pass” script can still receive a “consider” rating. A “consider” writer is one who executed the script very well, it’s just that this particular material is not right for the company. A “consider” writer should be considered for rewrite or assignment work down the line. He/she is, simply put, a good writer. A “pass” writer is one who just didn’t pull it off. Clumsy writing, spelling errors, poor structure, thin characters, missing theme – things of this nature. This is a writer whom the production company probably wouldn’t want to tap for assignment work because he/she just isn’t up to snuff as a writer. A “recommend” writer is obviously a stellar writer – again, you can have a “pass” script with a “recommend” writer – that just means this is a great writer but the material is not a fit for the production company.

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10,000 Hours

So my best buddy ever, Keith*, gave me a copy of Malcolm Gladwell's new book Outliers and I have been most fascinated by it. In chapter two, Gladwell discusses the 10,000 hour theorem: that it takes about 10,000 hours of practice and repetition before a person is truly head and shoulders above others doing the same thing. 10,000 hours of computer programming, cooking, writing, skiing - whatever. Gladwell makes a pretty salient and compelling point that practice does indeed make perfect.

*This is a rarefied status subject to change, bribery** and favoritism. Just FYI.

**Cupcakes and tiny dog sweaters. [--Ed.]


I think we all remember the Great Computer Meltdown of '08. That horrible day when my hard drive failed and I hadn't been backing up and - well - I lost a lot of stuff. One of the things I lost was the curriculum I had prepared for the Learn to be a Reader correspondence course. So I had to either pay a bunch of money to get that and other things retrieved from the hard drive or just write it again. So I wrote it again. That added another several hours to my cume.

There are a number of students taking this nifty correspondence course and as I am grading their synopses, comments and logline generating skills and giving them new homework for the following week, I am amazed at how much more there is to being a reader than I had appreciated. In having to write the entire curriculum - and then rewrite it all again a month or two later, I have put quite a number of hours into breaking down and expressing the ins and outs of story analysis. And though I do some type of story analysis just about every day, it really has made me stand back and think - wow, this really is not something just anybody can do and do well. I am struck by how much I have learned about reading and covering scripts, about the methodology, the politics and the presentation. I think I probably have spent 10,000 hours doing what I do and it's become second nature. That's a good feeling.

For example, in Week Three, the lecture and homework are about synopsizing a script.

Did you know:

Do not ever, ever, EVER comment within the synopsis – this is a story summary and there is absolutely no room here for your opinions. Strictly separate the synopsis (an accurate retelling of what happens) from the commentary (a breakdown of what is and isn’t working by element).

or -

Do NOT synopsize as you go. This will slow you down terribly in completing the coverage and it will also take you out of the read. Just read the script straight through, as you normally would. Use a highlighter or a red pen and read along swiftly but mark those pages, names or moments that you KNOW are significant enough to include in the synopsis.

or -

Very frequently, the script isn’t very entertaining at all. Your job is then not to write a highly entertaining synopsis because that is misrepresenting the script. However, if the script has ANY funny, moving, scary or action-packed moments that stuck with you – really get that feeling and description down in the synopsis. The ability to write a well-crafted synopsis is what separates okay readers from GREAT readers.

I wish I had been able to take this class several years back when I began reading. I knew the basics but I really had to feel my way through finessing my process. The other day, The Script Department received an order to do some coverage from Seed Productions (Hugh Jackman's company). As I prepared to assign the work to a reader, Seed emailed me again. Could you do it personally? Nobody has the thoughtful insight that you do. You have spoiled us. That compliment really made my day. Though now I have to read, synopsize and cover two 100+ page plays by Monday. But it's all good. I always get GREAT stuff from Seed.

So - how many hours are you putting into your writing on a daily, weekly, monthly, annual and cumulative basis? If Gladwell is really onto something - and I think he obviously is - can Wavers understand why, based on the 10,000 hour observation, that it's not super likely you're going to sell your first script? Ten scripts - 100 hours each - that adds up.

So that's all I have to say this Sunday. Tonight I am hosting a Golden Globes party with ballots and the whole nine yards. Be careful, Keith, you could get bumped in the Best Pal category. Do your homework, show up looking pretty and you might retain your status.

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The Battle Plan: Ass in Chair

Have you ever noticed how phenomenally hard it is to get the writing ball rolling? You think about your script. You ought to be working on it today, right? But there's laundry to do. And the grocery store. Oh - and email, tons of those to answer. Gotta walk the dogs. Pay bills. Call so-and-so back. You really don't have time.

I'm here to say - yes, you do. You really do.

Here is my time honored method. Sit down at your computer. Open the script file. And just stare at it. No - don't skip over to a message board. Just stare at your pages. Scroll up. Scroll down. Pretty soon you'll find a line of dialogue to change a little. You might make some notes to yourself. Scroll up and down again. Get overwhelmed by what, exactly, needs to be done on the script today. Look at your outline again. Stare at the blank pages that follow page 10. Pretty soon your eyes start getting tired. Close them for a sec. But don't move. Do not let yourself move from that spot. Put on a timer if you have to. It won't take long before grudgingly, you change an action line to shorten it. Then you'll go to the scene you left off on. And you'll type some really bad dialogue. But that's okay. Don't judge it. Just type it. Keep going. Tell yourself that before you get up, you'll write three pages of your script. Bad dialogue and all. Long action lines and all.

Writing is rewriting but the blank pages don't fill up magically, they fill up by pure determination and gluing your behind to the chair. And once you get some stuff down you'll be bummed to notice that your allotted time has already passed and you have to return to the more mundane tasks in your day.

It's sort of like working out - I know I have a JILLION great reasons why I don't have time to do it. But I put on my iPod and think okay, whatever you do today, it's good. Just move your body. And pretty soon, I find myself feeling energized, proud of myself and more relaxed and fulfilled - and ready to move on to other things with a better, healthier attitude.

Sometimes writing is a battle of wills. Some days it flows like water. But you'll never find it out if you don't sit down and create the space for the writing to show up. Try it. I promise you, you'll write SOMETHING worth keeping. And you'll get that ball rolling. Even on days when you have a million excuses not to do it.

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The Assistant Files

It's a new year and a lot of folks are in the market for new jobs, myself included.

Looking for an assistant gig in the entertainment industry can be absurdly difficult. Often you have to know someone just to get your resume in the door. You endure multiple rounds of interviews, usually starting with the outgoing assistant, who will give you the stinkeye and declare that you've never worked a desk as intense or busy or important as THIS one. It's enough to make a girl want to scream, "Listen, people. I know how to answer the phone. IT'S NOT BRAIN SURGERY."

Because there is such hot competition for even the most entry-level positions, sometimes we lose sight of whether a given job is one that we'd WANT. And with job postings so full of industry catchphrases, sometimes it's hard to tell just what the job entails. So I've compiled a list of common job posting language for your reference. Interpretations are based on my own experience and may differ for individual users.

*****************

Andy's Guide to Understanding Hollywood Assistant Job Postings:

Typical assistant duties: Rolling calls, scheduling meetings, reading minds.

Thick-skinned: You will be yelled at a lot and blamed for things that could in no way possibly be your fault. Crying is not allowed.

Long hours: Say goodbye to your non-industry friends, your pet, and sleep.

Organizational skills: You'll be expected to know at a moment's notice the exact location of every scribbled note, scrap of paper, and crumpled receipt that has ever crossed your desk. You'll keep all of these items indefinitely, in a meticulous filing system, even though you've also committed them to memory.

Must be flexible: You'll be required to run personal errands.

Must be discreet: You'll be required to run embarrassing personal errands, and claim them as your own.

Attention to detail: You'll be expected to remember which restaurants your boss has approved for lunch meetings, exactly how he takes his coffee, and which corner of the desk the trades should be arranged on before he arrives in the office each morning. Slack on any of these and you'll likely need to employ that Thick-Skinned quality, so I hope you weren't padding the ol' resume on that one.

Strong computer skills: The company doesn't have an IT department, so you should know how get all of the computers up and running again after he crashes the system trying to download the latest celebrity sex video.

Excellent phone etiquette: Must be able to lie convincingly on the phone.

Excellent communication skills: Must be able to decipher cryptic phrases such as, "Andy, why don't I see that thing on my calendar?"

Ability to anticipate: You'll need to provide a synopsis and a new copy of that script he took home but didn't read, without being asked, and in time for the meeting where he will pretend that he read it.

Desire to learn the industry: You'll eagerly memorize the phone number and client roster of every agent in town. And you'll do it for peanuts because the experience is so invaluable.

Ability to handle a demanding environment: Your boss will demand one crazy, unreasonable thing after another. You'll handle it.

xxoo,
Andy Sachs

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SAG Strike - Please, God - No!

Hello, Wavers - I received this video today via the Save the Biz organization and I thought it was a good message and that I ought to share it with you. I don't know enough about the issues on the table with SAG and the AMPTP but I do know a strike would be debilitating for so many who work in the industry. You can make up your own mind.

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StoryLink Article: New Years Goals

Each month, I write an article for the StoryLink Ezine. Here is this month's article:

Question: “What is the best way for a writer to reinvent him/herself when approaching the new year?”

Answer: This is an ideal time to take stock of where you are as a writer and what goals you should set for yourself in the new year. January just happens to coincide with Hollywood slowly ramping up again after several weeks of holiday hibernation. Additionally, most competitions set their deadlines in April, May, and June, and the staffing season for television revs up in the spring as well.

Whether it’s the cusp of a new year or not, you should be doing a few things on an ongoing basis: 1) Educating yourself with classes, workshops, and books. 2) Networking with other writers at events such as the Great American Pitch Fest, the Creative Screenwriting Expo, or consider joining (or forming) a writing group. 3) Making time each day or week to write and continue generating material (this includes ideas, by the way) and 4) Creating and maintaining balance in your life by taking care of yourself. Get enough rest and exercise and read books and newspapers to feed your imagination.

Not only is the new year a great time to renew your goals and determination, it’s also a great time to take stock of your inventory. How many scripts are you working on right now? What state and stage are they in? If at the beginning of 2009 you’ve only written two or four scripts, I’d really focus on generating new material this year. You want to have several scripts in your arsenal before seeking representation. If you feel you do have a pretty great arsenal, you still need to be generating material at the same time as querying reps, entering competitions, networking, etc. You need to treat your writing as a small business – with a multi-faceted approach to incremental success with tangible goals and deadlines.

In terms of reinvention, you might also take a look at what has been working – and not working - in the past. If you’ve been querying with no read requests, it might be time to take stock of where you are on the learning curve. Taking classes online, such as at Writers University, can be a great gift to yourself in 2009. I particularly recommend UCLA Extension Writers' Program courses. They have a wide variety of screenwriting classes to choose from and the winter quarter begins soon.

Another good thing to check in with is which genre have you been writing. Are you certain the genre you're writing is the one for you? I wrote rom coms for a long time without breaking in more than winning a competition, but, when I switched genres to thriller, I got a manager and had that script in development with a major studio. Is it time to consider a genre switch for you? For me it made all the difference.

Set some goals for 2009: Choose at least two or three competitions to enter. This gives you deadlines, which are so important to writers. Set a goal of starting and finishing two full-feature scripts this year. If you write television scripts, write two original and two spec scripts. You can do it. There’s more than enough time. Set aside time to write on a daily basis, if you can. Even one focused hour will yield real progress. Read produced scripts. You can find them online pretty easily and each script takes an hour or so to read. Why not commit to reading two scripts each month for inspiration and motivation? See movies regularly. You can do this with your family and it doesn’t cost much to go to the video store.

Writers don’t reinvent themselves as much as they evolve. It’s a journey. And like any other journey, there are setbacks, roadblocks, and detours. All of us would like to snap our fingers and just arrive at our destination without having to go through the woods, over the bridge, and across the meadow. But that’s not how life works and it sure isn’t how writing works. There’s an old adage that says: The difference between writers who make it in Hollywood and those who don’t is that those who make it never give up.

To sum up:

Take inventory of your writing arsenal
Consider taking some classes
Consider switching genres
Network with other writers and industry professionals
Read produced scripts
Reset your goals for 2009
Stick to the deadlines you set for yourself
And write. Every day!

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Okay, Not This. TOTALLY Not This!

So the other day - wow a lot of my posts begin that way - tell me if the Rouge Wave descends into what I had for lunch and I'll have myself taken away to farm...oh dear, where was I? Oh yes, hung out with a dear friend who was utterly stumped with a very good problem on her hands. Her manager sent her to a meeting and at that meeting a producer threw her a premise and asked for her to work up a "take" on it. That means she is to write a treatment and submit it to see if she might get the job of writing the script. She's a good writer but this premise is just one half-step to the left of what she usually writes. And she was stumped.

So over coffee (it wasn't yet 5pm), we brainstormed about the premise until she wound up with enough ideas and inspirations to write her "take."

Remember the video I posted here some time ago...?



As my friend and I were brainstorming we said to each other, referring to the video above, not this but - well, NOT this but what IF - and when we were able to playfully enter the zone of ridiculous ideas and laughter, slowly, out of that arose some really great ideas.

You can brainstorm with anybody. Yes, it definitely helps if your brainstorm partner knows a little something about character, structure and film but they don't HAVE to - maybe you have a friend or your spouse or a fellow writing group member who would be willing to brainstorm with you. The only thing you should remember while brainstorming is that you are looking for ideas of all sorts but you are also looking for significant act break beats. Sometimes brainstorming sessions can descend into free form spitballing and you can get a bit swept away in an avalanche. Remember to grab a tree now and then so that you can write down ideas that actually do hold down the bit of your script that you're looking to pinpoint as jumping off points. Somebody has to be the designated driver - wait, wait - what is the INCITING INCIDENT?

Brainstorm playfully and often. It's good for your writerly soul.

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Structure and Sequence Writing

This from the RW mailbag:

Understanding that the first act breaks into two around page 25, how does one still write in 10 page sequences? Does the first act break into 2 halfway through the third sequence? While also understanding that these aren't hard and fast rules, I am confused how sequences 'overlay' or 'interwork' with the 3 act narrative.

You'll see from the question that I'm a total newbie, but I'm also totally confused.
-David in Dunkirk

Nothing wrong with being a newbie and nothing wrong with asking great questions, David.

The sequence method is something that I tout a lot because I love it and it really, really works for me. So here is an overview of that methodology:

The 12 Sequence Outline:

Imagine that each sequence in your script describes approximately 10 pages of material (ten minutes of screen time) and that your script is about 100 to 115 pages long (work with me people; I am quite loathe to set down rigid numbers on topics like these as there are always variants by story and by writer. So these numbers are flexible and approximate):

ACT ONE: 25 to 30 pages-ISH
Sequence One: 1-10 - the inciting incident
Sequence Two: 10-20
Sequence Three: 20-30 – first plot point, act break or pinch*

*so in other words, somewhere between pages 25 and 30 is your first act break. But in the macro, your first act break falls within the 3rd sequence.

ACT TWO: 50 pages-ISH
Sequence Four: 30-40
Sequence Five: 40-50
Sequence Six: 50-60 – the midpoint somewhere around page 50-ish
Sequence Seven: pages 60 to 70
Sequence Eight: pages 70 to 75
Sequence Nine: pages 75 to 80 – the second plot point, act break or pinch*

ACT THREE: 15 to 20 pages- ISH
Sequence Ten: pages 80 to 85
Sequence Eleven: pages 85 -90 – climax/battle scene
Sequence Twelve: pages 90 -95 - the resolution and aftermath

And - look at that - this sequential narrative template doesn't EVEN go to page 100. That's okay. We're not going to worry about math as much as we are about ratios. Further, you’ll notice that not all sequences have ten pages; here is a good place to note that while generally each sequence will have about ten pages, the further you go along in your script, the more compressed each sequence becomes. Because remember, in a script, events escalate furiously as we near the end. Because tension is rising and things have snowballed into bigger and bigger stakes and entertainment. Also we know that third acts are not as lengthy as the first or second act in your script; the material is not evenly divided by dint of the job that the third act has to do.

The sequence method is a guideline. What is crucial is that you think of each sequence as a unit. I like to use the image of the Jacob's Ladder - you know, that wooden toy for kids? Each unit has a beginning, a middle and and end - which forces the next sequence to click forward. Set up, complication, resolution. Complication, resolution, reversal. So each sequence contains conflict which clicks the whole story forward into the next sequence. Now, that said, some sequences bear more dramatic weight than others, due to where they fall in the structure template. Ergo the bold-faced bits above.

Now personally, I don't like to put any more labels or constraints on my sequences than knowing approximately where the big structural beats should fall. Over time, this becomes second nature anyway. I know that the Save the Cat beat sheet has specific Save the Cat moments which get slotted in. I've seen other labels and templates put over the sequential narrative as well, the Heroes Journey and whatnot. I prefer to use a more free form method because I personally get hung up when I look at sequence, I don't know, five and it says: the hero unties his shoelaces here and finds the elixir in the cave and saves a cat. That doesn't exactly apply to my story and I don't like using anyone else's terminology with which to frame MY story. I might have a metaphoric cat-saving in my first sequence - make your main character likeable - I get it, thank you very much. But beyond that, since each story is so utterly unique, framing and reframing and labeling and relabeling basic story beats to me just adds confusion. Of course your story will contain an archetypal template but that's in your bone marrow - you don't need to be told that. I have a problem, in general, with over intellectualizing screenwriting. Many writers (including myself in the early years) can become enslaved by that.

I hope this answers your question, David. I know meander and use mixed metaphors but my main goal is to SIMPLIFY screenwriting, not make it more confusing. I hope I have not just made it more confusing. Many a writer spends part of their evolution getting really locked down into PAGE NUMBERS and other academic constraints. But if you keep writing and keep at this, eventually all of this becomes second nature and you begin to jump off of it and use what works for you.

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The Page Count Clinic

Good morning, Wavers! I inexplicably slept for 10 hours last night. I have no idea why so I just count my blessings that my lifestyle gives me the latitude to do that and get on with my day.

Ahem. Onward.

A commenter on yesterday's post wondered why BENJAMIN BUTTON appears to have a very loose structure and, I assume, intimated that we should not be as concerned with getting structure right when there are (truly) so many exceptions. Yes, there are many exceptions to the rule. But until or unless you have made it - are repped, are pitching, are sold or selling - you MUST understand exactly how structure works and you must demonstrate this in your writing. Exceptions are no excuse not to know exactly what you're doing in the now. Aspiring screenwriters are like nascent cooks - you must stick to the recipe in order to learn. Once you've made it over the moat that separates aspiring writers from paid ones - then and only then can you begin to put the recipe book down and vary from it when it comes to things like structure. Yesterday's discussion of structure was a rudimentary one - of course there are all sorts of jumping off points.

Additionally, before we get to today's topic, one cannot know what went on in the production of a major motion picture unless one was there. The script may have been tightly structured but somewhere in development, decisions were made to add more and bigger set pieces that plumped the structure up until it is what it currently is - pretty free form. Or not. We have no way of knowing unless we can ask that question directly of the writer. One can spend all day every day finding exceptions. Aspiring screenwriters trying to break in don't have the luxury of stepping off with new and wacky structural techniques. You need to show a rep or producer that you have basic screenwriting craft down cold before you start popping wheelies.

So on to the topic of the day: The Page Count Clinic

Another commenter said: Do you have any suggestions for reining in runaway page count, other than the obvious of scene chopping solution?

Yeah, no, I dunno. Good luck with that.

Wait, I'm getting too cavalier lately. Forgive my insouciance. Yes, there are a few things you can do to cut down on page count. When I write, I never, ever worry about page count in the early stages. I don't care if my whole script, from fade in to fade out has 72 pages. That gives me room to expand and add more set pieces and more character development. I don't worry if my script has 132 pages either - that's an opportunity to take what I have and distill it into sharper, more powerful pages.

So when you have too many pages that's the opportunity begging to be had. Distilling 10 okay pages into five GREAT pages.

There are two fundamental ways to approach reducing your page count - reviewing each SCENE for relevance and then reviewing each and every PAGE to see where you can cut a line of dialogue, two lines of action, etc.

SCENEWORK
When it comes to each scene, do the scene test: Does this scene contain a relevant beat? Does this scene concurrently develop character? Does this scene contain the thematic undertones of your premise? Does this scene, in other words, absolutely carry its weight and earn its spot in the script? Think of yourself as the captain of a ship loading up to head out to sea - is this scene necessary? Does it earn the spot on the ship? Or is it ballast that can be tossed because it will only weigh the ship down?

PAGEWORK
Once you're confident that every scene is absolutely necessary, go over every single page and look for ANY opportunity to reduce your action lines from three lines to two. Are there entire action lines that break up dialogue between characters? Are you over-directing the characters, in other words? Is there another way your character can express his or her thoughts in half the dialogue? Is your character actually repeating him or herself? In the same way that grapes are stomped down into a pulp which will ferment into wine, pages can be s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d down into more powerful stuff too.

Something I like to do which seems a bit arbitrary is to say to a writer - okay lose 10 pages off this script. I don't care where, I don't care how, just do it. And to a one, the writer comes back aglow with accomplishment and sleeker, faster, more powerful pages.

Just given that marching order with no parameters is empowering because when it comes right down to it, it's not rocket science to look at your pages and see where the fat is.

So you may want to try that first - just take 10 pages out of your script. Open that sucker up and go. If that feels daunting or directionless, try reducing pages using the following steps:

Do a structure check: Are your act breaks falling on or about pages 10, 25, 50 and 75? How far off are they? Remember, this is a ratio based on the Golden 100 Page Script. Is the ratio about right? If there are 50 pages between act breaks, you have now pinpointed where the problem is in your script. So focus on that section.

Do a scene review: go through each and every scene and ask it these questions: What's your name and where are you from? Well, no, maybe like: What is the BEAT in this scene? Is there one? Does this scene absolutely and without question move the story forward? Does it develop and reveal more about your character? And ideally - does it do both? Does this scene jump in late and get out early? Could the scene move a long even a little faster?

Do a global page reduction: Go through every single page and find any and all lines that can be cut. Anything. Dialogue, action lines - nothing is safe. Go pithier. Use more powerful, evocative words. The sun shines down on this suburban neighborhood. Dogs bark, children play and the mailman makes his rounds - which is not bad - might then become: Another sunny day in this family neighborhood; kids play, dogs bark. - We lost seven words in the second example. Maybe we don't need the mailman. Or do we? Go through every single action and ask - what is really important to point out here? Is the word 'suburban' really critical? Or does 'family' do the job? That's your call. But I guarantee that you will find TONS of things you can reduce just slightly. Writers tend to overwrite and over direct scenes. Strip each scene down to the bare bones using words that deliver the feeling and imagery important to the scene but that literally take up less space.

Depending on where you are as a writer - the global page reduction method is probably the best way to cut down on pages. You'd be surprised - even the most advanced writer can always find extraneous stuff on his or her pages. Newer writers are more likely to have scenes that are not necessary at all. If you're not sure where to begin, I'd follow the steps above in that order without worrying about what your total page count should then be. Just follow the steps and then check in again. Did you lose 10 pages or so?

If you have to lose more than 10 pages you either have a problem with the structure full stop or you have a major issue with overwriting pages.

If you have 10 pages or less to lose, you probably just need to trim action and dialogue on your pages.

Writing IS rewriting. I love trimming pages because it's not a punishment, it's a challenge. How can I make what's here work BETTER than ever before? It's like chipping away at the marble to reveal a finer, more beautiful image. It is making wine from grapes, it is squeezing the - okay I've run out of weird metaphors but you get it.

In general, as a rule of thumb*, I always like to shoot for the Golden 100 Page Script. If you're writing comedy, romcom, thriller or horror, this page count is actually pretty sweet. If you're writing scifi, fantasy or drama, you might wind up with 110 pages. If your script has over 115 pages, you need to pull the car over and see what's going on. It might be fine but it also might be your clarion call to write sleeker, more powerful pages. No matter what your page count, you can always produce better pages than the ones you currently have. I guarantee that. In fact, that's a whole other blog post - when to STOP tweaking!

*stuff it, Anonymous.*

*This seems like a good time to explain my "stuff it, Anonymous" disclaimers. A couple or three times a week I get comments or emails from disgruntled Have-to-be-Righters who tell me how WRONG I am. Everything on the Rouge Wave is from MY perspective and MY experience. Anyone who takes what I say as gospel should have his head examined. These are all suggestions and advice. Do what you will. Do what works for you.

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Let's Talk About Structure and Also Poker

First, totally unrelated to structure - this from today's Variety Online: The record-breaking 2008 domestic box office proves Hollywood isn't as dependent on by-the-book franchises as everyone feared. It will also be remembered for prospering even as the economy collapsed.

To read the rest of the article, click HERE.

Now. I thought maybe we should get down to brass tacks. Let's talk about structure. A topic that for many makes the blood run cold. Three acts or four? Inciting incident on page five or 10? First act break on page 25 or 30? Get character up in tree, throw rocks at character. Right? Forget all that stuff for a minute.

There is no element in screenwriting that can be discussed totally unto itself. Well, you could, and people try to, but it doesn't make sense. Structure in particular is the hub of the wheel and is closely tied to character and premise. We know that the structure of a screenplay is roughly a three act proposition. I personally like thinking of it in terms of four acts - but that's hair splitting; four acts is just the second act divided in half. So we might have:

Act One: pages one-25
Act Two A: pages 25-50
Act Two B: pages 50-75
Act Three: pages 50-100*

*I am using the magical 100 page script here for two reasons. One, it's not a bad page count to aspire to and two, it just makes the math easier. If you script has a longer page count, the ratios here still apply.

We know we have certain milestones in the three or four act structure:

The inciting incident which falls anywhere from page one to page 10 (latest, kids, latest). Another name for this milestone might be: Why did I buy a ticket to this movie? When is all the stuff I saw in the trailer going to start to happen?

The first act break, which falls right around page 25 or so. And we might call this: I forgot to buy M&Ms I'll just be a minute - oh HEY, what's this? I'll get them later.

The midpoint, which falls, yup, dead center. And we might refer to this as the okay forget the M&MS, the Coke, forget everything, I cannot leave this seat, things just heated up - again!

The second act break, which falls just before the third act, so in the area of page 75 or so. And we most definitely can refer to this one as: I have to use the restroom but...but...I HAVE to see what happens now!

So we know this, right? Each portion of the structure ramps things up to engage the audience in more interesting and complicated ways. Sucking them into the story more and more. That's looking at structure purely from an entertainment factor point of view, not a story point of view. This is not the gist of what I want to talk about today but it's a useful way to think of structure. Every 25 pages or so you have to turn up the heat so that your audience is more committed, more curious and more entertained by what's going on.

But of course, you cannot accomplish this by adding rhinoceros stampedes, BIGGER rhinoceros stampedes and flying monkeys - when you've written a romcom. Well, maybe you could. Here's the thing, once you understand structure from a purely academic point of view and with the use of my handy Audience-ometer Structure Guide (patent pending) as above, you have to design your structure in such a way that it makes sense for your premise and for your character. Structure and character arc are indelibly linked. Like Siamese twins.

Many new writers think okay I'm on page 25, something a bit bigger needs to happen here. It's a sort of structure by numbers methodology. It is helpful to chart out your character's arc relative to the structure. Things like rhino stampedes are only a good escalation for a certain type of character. Maybe in JUMANJI this makes sense.

The escalation embedded in and implied by structure has to make sense. What is the worst thing that COULD happen for THIS character at THIS point of time given THIS premise?

Again, anybody can simply jot down what I indicated above:

Act One: pages one-25
Act Two A: pages 25-50
Act Two B: pages 50-75
Act Three: pages 50-100

But this is only an academic understanding of structure. Again, what is the worst thing that could happen to your particular character at this point in the story? And are you going to be able to top that organically, within the premise, in another 25 pages? I actually take some issue with the macro view statement that you get your character in a tree and throw rocks at him. What character? In what tree? What kind of rocks are these? It's all relative to the story you are telling and the type of character inhabiting this story. The act breaks for DIE HARD are in no way related to the act breaks in RAIN MAN. Yes, they fall in approximately the same places but that isn't specific enough to be helpful.

So much of screenwriting is like that - we are all taught the academic perspective but one size does not fit all. And that's part of the journey of being a screenwriter. We learn about the various elements from a macro view but it is only as you gain more experience that you can get a feel for the jumping off points and after you've written a few scripts, structure just starts to come naturally to you.

Imagine thinking of structure as a poker game for your main character - and he or she really doesn't want to be there at all. Your main character doesn't know how to play poker, never played a hand in his or her life and would much rather go home. But this is a movie and you the writer are God. You have literally thrown your character into a high stakes poker game against his or her will. There's no going home there's only winning or losing. Or is there a third way?

At each structural juncture, your character is more and more screwed in this imaginary poker game. At the midpoint, he or she is all in. With a bad hand. Audiences are conditioned to believe that your main character will in fact succeed. But with that hand? All in? It's not possible. Or is it?

Just some food for thought on this Monday when the holidays are behind us and the new year lies ahead. Maybe you already have structure nailed. But for many new screenwriters, structure, which is deceptively simple, is a very difficult thing to wrap their minds around. Try looking at it from three points of view: Academic, Audience-ometer and Character Arc.

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What it's Worth

The other day I took a meeting at the legendary Beverly Hills Hotel. In the Polo Lounge, to be exact. The type of place I used to frequent in my past (married) life. All white gloves, caps, red carpets and deferential greetings. It's not that the food at a place such is this really is that much better - some of my favorite eateries in San Francisco and Los Angeles are in the funky neighborhoods - no, it's the service. The unmitigated, all out attentiveness. That's what you have to pay more for and that's what you get at high end establishments. And you know what? It's pretty darn nice to be treated as though you are important and your needs and comfort matter.

That's how I felt when the Mini-W and I saw THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON at the Arclight Cinema in Hollywood yesterday. The movie clocks in at something like two hours and 45 minutes but for us, it was two hours and 45 minutes of white glove, tip capping, door opening "good morning, ma'am." Every detail of the movie was designed for your viewing pleasure and satisfaction. From the clever button CGI Paramount logo at the beginning, to the lush soundtrack, gorgeous set design with fastidious period detail, to the exacting makeup and beautiful cinematography to the stellar acting, resonant theme and satisfying ending.

Now, when you're writing a script and if you should get so lucky as to sell it and if you should be so spectacularly fortunate to see it produced, the production values and budget are totally out of your hands. But you want to write a script that is so fantastic that the producers of the subsequent movie are so passionate about it that there is a beautiful collaboration in bringing your story to life. But the most wonderful production values in the world cannot elevate a hollow story. So the lowest paid, least glamorous, generally unknown writer of a movie really does play the most important part. Because without the heart and skill you pour onto your pages, nothing else really matters.

Most aspiring screenwriters think they have to please an agent or manager with their writing. And they do. But you want to write a script that not only gets an agent or manager excited, but also gets a production company excited as well. And not just one guy at the production company but several. A great number of people have to get on board in order to push your project forward. That any movie ever gets produced is a miracle. When that movie is good, it is a major miracle. When it is great - well, that's some kind of magic.

Your script has to generate a viral excitement. No matter what the budget is, you are writing something that needs to fuel the passion of a cinematographer to do her best work, for a director to get excited with his or her vision for the movie, for a set designer to pull out the stops, for costume designers, makeup artists and grips to do their best work. Because when everybody is passionate about your script, when they really GET IT and LOVE IT, then movie magic can happen.

The amount of collaboration on a movie is staggering. If you've ever visited the set of a major motion picture, you know that it takes a small city to make a movie. The number of people on a set is absolutely mind-blowing to me. Every time. I don't get over my awe.

A good friend of mine who has worked in production for over 20 years now likens film production to launching a small, highly organized army for an offensive. Every single day. For weeks. Walkie talkies buzz, people ride by on bicycles, trucks pull in and out loaded with lighting and equipment, assistants scurry, stars rehearse their lines, extras await direction, caterers provide a never-ending supply of hot food, directors sit behind the camera, brows furrowed, having long conversations with producers and the DP over this or that scene or shot. Booms raise and lower and huge cables snake everywhere. It is another day at work for many, but to me, it is mindboggling how this organized chaos coalesces into a movie.

Everyone is working on making your story come to life. They're happy for the work and happy for the opportunity to have a credit that highlights their respective technical or creative skills. Everybody wants the movie to do well - of course.

But it all starts with you. One line of thinking is that you should write what YOU are passionate about. Period. Don't try to second guess the market, this line of reasoning continues, just write your heart out. Don't worry about what is "hot" right now or what feedback you might get from a producer - just write what totally ignites and inspires you.

And I do subscribe to that philosophy, very much. But something begins to happen over time, as your screenwriting skill and intuition sharpens - there is an intersection of what makes you passionate and what makes others passionate as well. The more you write, the more you begin to intuit universal resonance in film.

This is what usually happens for screenwriters*

Write semi-autobiographical, dramatic, fairly dull script with your very low, newbie skill set.

Write a derivative riff on some movie (or movies) you really personally liked - but fall short.

Write about three more of those.

Have some kind of existential crisis and write a slasher when you hate slashers.

Write a script that you like and that others like too but that is not commercial enough.

Write about three more of those.

*I say generally because by and large this is the pattern. But there are always exceptions, so stuff it, Anonymous.

Then, one day, after having written about 10 scripts that went nowhere, you have a flash of insight. It's almost a religious experience, this insight. You get an idea to write something you really love and you have a very rebellious "screw it" attitude. But you smile to yourself while writing it because you have a weird feeling deep in your gut that you have in some way arrived at the creative crossroads of writing what YOU love but with an understanding of what audiences love too. And it is usually THIS script that finally gets you repped, optioned or sold. Because you simultaneously don't give a good god damn what anybody else thinks and know that this is exactly the attitude that's going to show on the pages and make them sing. You've stopped being so careful about your writing. You've stopped second-guessing every idea, every page, every character. You're finally in the zone. You feel confident. You've found your voice.

Now, there are no guarantees that that script really will sell or be produced. But now you are a real contender because you can replicate this experience into your next script and your next.

You can't go around it, you can't go over it, you have to go through it. Which is why screenwriters don't generally skip crappy scripts one through ten and just write a great one. Because there is a learning curve. It's repetition and frustration and learning. It's wax on, wax off. One day, everything just clicks. But scripts one through ten were important too. They were part of the learning curve.

We'd all like to hit the fast forward button and just arrive at total balance, abundance, wisdom and maturity. We'd all rather have skipped the painful, acne prone high school years or the bad marriage entered into too young or the unfortunate incident at the margarita mixer party. But we become the sum of our experiences and if we hadn't had them - the good and the bad - we wouldn't be who we are today. It's the same with writing. How could it not be?

Well then, how does one start off screenwriting with the knowledge that your first few scripts are going to be terrible? You can't. You have to believe each one will be great - just like you really believed that electric blue suit you wore to the prom was really great. But when the script falls short because you get no read requests, or you get a set of notes with global notes advocating a total page one rewrite, you simply have to shrug your shoulders and go for it. Again. Writing is not a destination, it's a journey. A pretty long one. Know that now and embrace it. Nothing worth having comes easy. But tell you one thing, when you slid into that electric blue suit for prom, you looked in the mirror and you thought - damn. Right? Am I right? You had to. Else you never would have gotten out the door.

Now here's a truth difficult to hear: Only a few writers will write 10 scripts and then experience success by way of a sale. A tiny fraction of all aspiring writers, in fact. I know. It's depressing. But it's the case. Because we have an unknowable, unquantifable quality at play here - talent. Do you have it? If you could know that now, with certainty, the game wouldn't be very fun to play, would it? You knew before you started writing scripts that there is absolutely no guarantee of anything, right?

And yet - there's pleasure to be had in the undertaking. Because like all those dancers, musicians, sculptors, poets and writers that came before you - the unsung and the successful - you are driven to create. So that's what you should be doing. Regardless of the outcome.

That's my wish for you in 2009: Enjoy this journey of creation. Keep it real, keep your eyes wide open, but when you open up your computer to write, do it with all your heart. No matter what the outcome of your writing is, you're doing something that is in my view pretty mystical - you are creating something from nothing. And there's nothing more meaningful and worthwhile than that.

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How Many Movies Were Released in 2008?

573 titles. Isn't that amazing?! It's a huge number. Now, many of these films were quite small (see the note below about what qualifies a movie to be on this list) and many were clearly a pretty bad investment. Go to Box Office Mojo to find out how each performed. Nonetheless, I do find this total number encouraging. Sure, sure, it might be less than in 2007 (I actually don't have stats on that, but this is what I am told) but let's not be negative, this is the Rouge Wave after all.

573 movies were released in 2008. Let's get your movie on the list for 2009, shall we? And not up for Razzie consideration! Which is the provenance of this list, by the way. I don't keep a notepad of stuff like this. I'd have to be freakishly organized. No, I rely on the hard work of OTHER people when providing nifty lists on The Rouge Wave. Thank you, Other People.

Enjoy skimming through this lavish list and coming upon titles and thinking, hey wait - whatever happened to that movie? TOWELHEAD had that affect on me. Right, right, that Allan Ball movie. Kerplunk.

*****

COMPLETE LIST of ALL 2008 RELEASES

January 1st through December 31st: 573 Titles

NOTES: To appear on this list, a film must have played at least a one-week/regular admission engagement in either Los Angeles or New York (Manhattan) commencing during calendar year 2008, thus qualifying it for both Golden Raspberry and Academy Award consideration.

KEY:

a = Animated

d = Documentary

f = Foreign Film

R = REMAKE

S = SEQUEL



21

27 DRESSES

88 MINUTES

$9.99

1968: TUNNEL RATS

10,000 B.C. / R

Able Danger

Adam Resurrected

The Air That I Breathe

Alexandra

Alice's House

Alice Neel / d

All in This Tea / f

Allah Made Me Funny: Live in Concert / d

The Alphabet Killer

The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela

America the Beautiful

AMERICAN CAROL / R

American Teen

American Zombie

Amusement

Anamorph

The Animation Show #4 / a

Anita O'Day: The Life of a Jazz Singer

Antarctica

Appaloosa

Ashes of Time Redux / f

Asian Stories (Book 3)

August

August Evening

Australia

B.O.H.I.C.A.

Bab Aziz (The Prince Who Contemplates His Soul) / f

Baby Mama

Babylon A.D.

The Babysitters

Baghead

Ballast

BANG COCK? DANGEROUS! / R

The Bank Job

Battle in Seattle

Be Kind, Rewind

Beautiful Losers

The Beautiful Truth

BEDTIME STORIES

BEER FOR MY HORSES

Beaufort / f

Beauty in Trouble / f

Before the Rains

Ben X / f

Beverly Hills Chihuhua

Beyond the Call / d

Bigger, Stronger, Faster / d

Billy

Billy the Kid / d

The Black Balloon

Blind Mountain

Blindness

Blindsight

Bloodline

Boarding Gate

Body of Lies

Body of War / d

Bolt / a

Bomb It! / d

Bonneville

Bottle Shock

Boy A

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

Bra Boys / d

Breakfast With Scott

Brick Lane

Brideshead Revisited / R

The Brothers Bloom

Burn After Reading

The Business of Being Born

Bustin' Down the Door / d

CSNY/Deja Vu

Cadillac Redords

Call + Response

Captain Abu Raed / f

Caramel / f

Cassandra's Dream

Changeling

Chaos Theory

Chapter 27

Charlie Bartlett

Che / R

Chicago 10

Children of Huang Shi

Choose Connor

Chop Shop

Chris & Don: A Love Story / d

A Christmas Tale / f

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian / S

Ciao!

CJ7 / f

Circulation

City of Ember

City of Men

The Class / f

Cloverfield

College

Constantine's Sword / d

The Cool School / d

The Counterfeiters / f

College Road Trip

Cover

Crossing Over

Cthulha / f

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Dare Not Walk Alone / d

The Dark Knight / S

Dark Matter

Dark Streets

THE DAY THE EARTH BLOWED UP REAL GOOD / R

Days and Clouds

DEAL

Dear Zachary

DEATH RACE / R

Deception

Defiance

Definitely, Maybe

Delgo / a

The Dhamma Brothers / d

Diary of the Dead

Dimished Capacity

DISASTER MOVIE

Doomsday

The Doorman

DR. SUESS' HORTON HIRES a HO / a, R

Dostana / f

Doubt

Dragon Hunters

Drillbit Taylor

The Duchess

The Duchess of Langleals / f

The Dukes

Dying to Live

Eagle Eye

Eden

The Edge of Heaven

Eight Miles High

Elegy

The Elephant King

Elsa and Fred

Encounters at the End of the World

The Exiles

Expelled / d

Expired

The Express

THE EYE / R

Faded Memories

The Fall

Fall of Hyperion

The Favor

Fears of the Dark

Felon

Filth and Wisdom

Fighting for Life / d

Finding Amanda

The First Basket

First Saturday in May / d

FIREPROOF

FIRST SUNDAY

Flash of Genius

Flash Point

Flawless

Flight of the Red Balloon / f

FLY ME TO THE MOON / a

The Flyboys

Flow / d

FOOL'S GOLD

The Foot Fist Way

Forbidden Kingdom

Forever / d

Forever Strong

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

FOUR CHRISTMASES

A Four Letter Word

Four Minutes / f

Fraude: Mexico 2006 / d - f

Freebird

Frost/Nixon

Frozen River

Fugitive Pieces

Funny Games

The Garden / d

Garden Party

Gardens of the Night

GET SMART / R

Ghost Town

A Girl Cut in Two /f

Girls Rock!

The Go-Getter

God and Gays: BRidging the Gap / d

God Bless This Couple / f

Gomorrah / f

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson / d

Good

A Good Day to Be Black and Sexy

Good Dick

Gran Torino

The Grand

The Grocer's Son / f

Gunnin' for That #1 Spot / d

Hamlet 2 / S

The Hammer

HANCOCK

Hania

Hank and Mike

Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert / d

M. Night Shyamalan's THE HAPPENING

Happy-Go-Lucky

Harold

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay / S

Harvard Beats Yale, 29-29 / d

Hats Off / d

THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY

Heavy Metal in Baghdad / d

Hell Ride

Hellboy II: The Golden Army / S

Henty Poole Is Here

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR / S

Holding Trevor

Hollywood Chinese / d

THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE

Hounddog

House

The House Bunny

House of Adam

House of the Sleeping Beauties / f

The House of Usher / R

How About You

How She Move

How the Garcia Girls Spent Their Summer

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People

Hunger

I Can't Think Straight / f

I.O.U.S.A. / d

I Served the King of England

Ice Blues

IGOR / a

Imaginary Witness: Hollywood and the Holocaust / d

In Bruges

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

The Incredible Hulk / R

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull / S

IN THE NAME OF THE KING: A DUNGEON SIEGE TALE

Irina Palm

Iron Man

I've Loved You So Long

J.C.V.D.

Jack & Jill vs. the World

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Jellyfish

A Jihad for Love / d

Johnny Got His Gun / R

Journey to the Center of the Earth / R

JUMPER

Just Add Water

Just Buried

Kabluey

Kenny

Kicking It / d

The Killing of John Lennon

Kiss Me Deadly

Kiss the Bride

Kit Kittredge: An American Girl

Kung Fu Panda / a

Lake City

Lakeview Terrace

Last Chance Harvey

The Last Mistress / f

Last Stop for Paul

Leatherheads

Let's Get Lost / d

Let the Right One In

Liberty Kid

The Life Before Her Eyes

Little Big Top

Little Chenier: A Cajun Story

The Little Red Truck / d

Live and Become

Loins of Pujab Presents

Lord, Save Us from Your Followers / d

The Longshots

The Lost

Lost in Beijing / f

Love & Honor

Lou Reed's Berlin / d

Love Comes Lately

THE LOVE GURU

Love Songs (Les Chansons D'Amour) / f

Lower Learning

The Lucky Ones

MAD MONEY

Madagascar 2: Escape 2 Africa / a - S

MADE OF HONOR

Mamma Mia!

A Man Named Pearl / d

Man on Wire

Marley & Me

Married Life

The Matador / d

Mattie Fresno and the Holoflux Universe

MAX PAYNE

Meet Bill

MEET DAVE

The Memory Thief

MEET THE SPARTANS

The Midnight Meat Train

Military Intelligence and You!

Milk

Miracle at St. Anna

MIRRORS / R

Miss Conception

Miss Pettigre Lives for a Day

Mister Foe

Mister Lonely

Momma's Man

Mongol / f

Morning Light

The Mother of Tears

Moving Midway

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR / S

Murder.com

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL

My Blueberry Nights

My Brother Is an Only Child

My Father, My Lord

My Name is Albert Ayler / d

My Name is Bruce

My Winnipeg

Nana

Nanking / f

National Lampoon's Homo Erectus

NEVER BACK DOWN

Never Forever

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist

Nights in Rodanthe

Nim's Island

NOBEL SON

Noise

No Regret

Noah's Ark: Jumping the Broom

Note by Note: The Making of Steinway L1037 / d

Nothing But the Truth

Nothing Like the Holidays

Obscene

On the Other Hand, Murder

On the Rumba River / f

One Day You'll Understand

ONE MISSED CALL / R

Opa!

The Order of Myths / d

Orthodox Stance / d

OSS-117: Cairo, Nest of Spies

THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL

Otto, or Up with Dead People

OVER HER DEAD BODY

P.J.

Paranoid Park

Partition

Passing Poston / d

Pathology

Patti SMith: Dream of Life / d

Penelope

Pineapple Express

Ping Pong Playa

The Pink Conspiracy

The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything / a

Planet B-Boy / d

A Plumm Summer

The Poet

Poisoned by Polonium: The Litvenenko File / d

Polar Opposites

Uwe Boll's POSTAL

Poultrygeist

Pray the Devil Back to Hell / d

Praying with Lior / d

A Previous Engagement

Priceless / f

Pride and Glory

PROM NIGHT / R

The Promotion

Proud American

THE PUNISHER: WAR ZONE / S

Quantum of Solace / S

QUARANTINE / R

Quid Pro Quo

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi / f

Rachel Getting Married

RAMBO / S

The Reader

Red

Red Roses and Petrol

Redbelt

Refusenik / d

Religulous / d

Remember the Daze

REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA

Reprise

Retrieval / f

Revolutionary Road

RIGHTEOUS KILL

The Rocker

Rock-n-Rolla

Role Models

Roman de Gare / f

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired / d

Romulus, My Father

THE RUINS

Run, Fatboy, Run

Running with Arnold / d

Santouri the Music Man / f

Sangre de Mi Sangre (Blood of My Blood) / f

Savage Grace

Save Me

Saving Marriage / d

SAW V / S

Secrecy / d

A Secret / f

The Secret Life of Bees

The Secrets / f

SEMI-PRO

SEVEN POUNDS

Sex and Death 101

Sex and the City: The Movie / R

Sex Drive

Shelter

Shine a Light / d

Shoot Down

Shoot on Sight

Short Order

Shotgun Stories

Shrooms

SHUTTER / R

The Signal

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 / S

Sixty-Six

Sleepwalking

Slumdog Millionaire

Smart People

Smother

Snow Angels

Solar Flare

Son of Rambow

Soul Men

SPACE CHIMPS / a

Special

SPEED RACER / R

The Spiderwick Chronicles

THE SPIRIT

Splinter

Standard Operatng Procedure / d

STAR WARS: CLONE WARS / a - S

Stealing America: Vote by Vote / d

STEP BROTHERS

Step Up 2: The Streets / S

The Stone Angel

Stop-Loss

Stranded

STRANGE WILDERNESS

THE STRANGERS

Street Kings

Stuck

Sukiyaki Western Django

Summer Love / f

Summer Palace / f

Sunflower / f

SUPERHERO MOVIE

Super High Me

Surfer, Dude

Surfwise

Swimming in Auschwitz / d

SWING VOTE

Synecdoche, New York

Take

Takeout

Talento de Barrio / f

The Tale of Despereaux / a

Taxi to the Dark Side / d

Teeth

Tell No One / f

Ten Nights of Dreams

Tennessee

Then She Found Me

Thoda Payar, Thoda Magic / f

A Thousand years of Good Prayers

Time and Winds

Timecrimes / f

Tinkerbell Movie / a - S

Tired of Kissing Frogs

'Tis Autumn: The Search for Jackie Paris / d

Toots / d

Towards Darkness / f

Towelhead

The Tracey Fragments

Trailer Park Boys: The Movie

Traitor

Transpoter 3 / S

Transsiberian

Tre

Tropic Thunder

Trouble the Water / d

Try Loved

Trumbo

Tyring to Get Good: The Jazz Odyssey of Jack Sheldon / d

Turn the River

Tuya's Marriage / f

TWILIGHT

Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns

Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys

Under the Same Moon / f

Undoing

The Unforseen / d

The Universe of Keith Haring / d

The Unknown Woman

Unsettled / d

Untraceable

Up the Yangtze / d

U2 3-D / d

VALKYRIE / R

Vantage Point

A Very British Gangster

Vice

Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show / d

The Visitor

Vivere / f

The Violin / f

W.

The Wackness

Waiting in Bejing

A Walk into the Sea / d

A Walk to Beautiful

Wall E / a

Waltz with Bashir / a - f

WANTED

War Eage, Arkansas

WAR, INC.

Water / d

Water Lillies

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

Wendy and Lucy

Were the World Mine

Wetlands Preserved: The Story of an Activist Rock Club / d

What Doesn't Kill You

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

What Just Happened

What We Do Is Secret

When Did You Last See Your Father?

Where God Left His Shoes

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? / d

While She Was Out

Without the King / d

WITLESS PROTECTION

THE WOMEN / R

Wonders Are Many: The Making of Doctor Atomic / d

The World Unseen

The Wrestler

X-FILES: I WANNA BE LEAVING... / S

XXYY

The Year My Parents Went on Vacation

The Yellow Handkerchief

YES MAN

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN

Young and Restless in China / d

Young @ Heart / d

Young Yakuza / d - f

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zombie Strippers

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Movie-palooza

As the Mini-W and I are wont to do whenever we have one to two weeks of holiday time, we again went to Hollywood Video and swiped whole shelves of movies at random and watched them all in an orgy of movie gluttony. If you're a long time Rouge Waver, you know that we are totally omnivorous. We'll see anything. Generally, we try to stay away from the New Releases because we've already seen many of them and if we haven't, there's plenty of time. We go for the stuff on the second shelf from the bottom in the quiet sections and we go for the Movies We Should Have Seen. So here's what we've seen so far (oh, we still have a few days left. Just watch us.):

HAMLET2: Other than a couple of pretty hilarious moments, not as funny as we thought it would be. We really, really wanted to love this movie. One particular line of dialogue that is totally horrible and inappropriate is very, very funny and if you've seen this movie, you know what I mean and you laughed too. Rock Me Sexy Jesus is funny but we just sort of ran out of gas on this movie.

SABRETOOTH*: Total B-movie HILARITY. A highly recommended rip off of Jurassic Park (Primal Park: Genetic Engineering at a Reasonable Price). Sample dialogue: "We've done tests. The cats are bulimic."

*Yeah, I spelled that the way they did. British affectation or bad spelling? We don't know.

BLUE DEMONS: B-Movie but with an ironic wink, therefore not as hilarious. Genetically altered sharks chase down - wait for it - nuclear weapons at sea. Electronic readings of red dot groupings of sharks moving up coast - hilarious. Not as funny as SHARK SWARM.

FEAR: Mark Wahlberg stalks Reese Witherspoon in this 1996 thriller set in Seattle. Good but not particularly memorable. As far as crazy-teen-stalker movies, we preferred SWIM FAN.

RESIDENT EVIL: We LOVED it but have been warned again the sequels. Milla Jovovich receives four out of five bad ass points for amazing martial arts moves in a red cocktail dress. Scientific explanation for zombies was buyable, creepy child-hologram of the Red Queen was very cool.

CAPTURING THE FRIEDMANS: One of the most engrossing, compelling, disturbing documentaries we've ever seen. Highly recommended. Will provoke an interesting conversation and some depression later.

STEPBROTHERS: Brothers were clearly functionally retarded not charming or funny man-boys. Impossible to relate to or root for main characters and their parents were remiss not to put both "men" on the short bus on the way to special class rather than force them to live on their own. This gap in logic perplexed and annoyed us. P.S.: Dear Judd Apatow and ancillary crew - man-boys are neither charming nor funny. Please stop making movies.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT: As mentioned on an earlier post - we LOVED this clever horror gem.

SHIVER: Spanish-language horror film brought to us by the producers of THE ORPHANAGE (which we loved). Great production values, some scary moments but overall, not super memorable. Clever twist that we didn't see coming but it's delivered pretty early.

DEEP SHOCK: B-Movie carnage with some hilarity. The monster turns out to be giant sea eels that look like something from THE NEVER ENDING STORY - thing is, these eels can read your mind and also email you. You think I'm kidding.

MULBERRY ST.: An offering from the Eight Films to Die For annual film festival. Good production values, effects and acting. Surprisingly good zombie flick.

RUN FAT BOY RUN: A stylized romcom starring Simon Pegg (who we LOVE) and directed by David Schwimmer. We liked this very much. We were surprised and slightly uncomfortable to note that Hank Azaria is RIPPED.

FIRST BLOOD: This first installment of the Rambo series seemed dated and... didn't work for us. The thing tied on Rambo's head was super goofy looking. Heartfelt soliloquy at end of movie was pretty amazing but it was too little too late. Oft imitated since, possibly seminal at the time, this movie felt thoroughly dated.*

*Note to self: Should probably watch seminal movies when they are released, not 26 years later.

EQUILIBRIUM: This sci-fi movie depicts a dystopian future in which having emotions is illegal. Starring Christian Bale and Emma Watson, this movie should have been great but - wasn't. Great action sequences although weird gun-ballet-martial-arts thing was unintentionally funny.

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